Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Reported A Parent?
Unregistered 09:56 AM 11-20-2013
I was wondering if anybody here has ever reported a parent to CPS/CYS and how you made the decision that you needed to report.

I have a family that I am just going back and forth on whether to call. I have concerns that the mother is sleeping instead of supervising and so far this week alone one of the 2 kids arrived with a large bruise by her eye she says was from falling off the bed and the other required a trip to the emergency room after falling off a bed and cutting her back.

I do believe the children are telling the truth and do not think someone is purposely hurting them but I don't think they are being supervised.

They are also often dirty and wearing clothes that don't fit properly. I get them dressed in the morning and today the mother sent a tank top for a kindergartner. It is basically going on Winter and we are in PA.

There have been other instances of injury where they tell me DCM was sleeping and I have been going back and forth for going on 2 months. I need to make a decision and for some reason I am scared to call and be wrong.
Reply
Unregistered 10:00 AM 11-20-2013
I always go with my gut.If I'm losing sleep over it or constantly thinking about it there is probably a reason why.
My gut has NEVER been wrong!
Reply
sharlan 10:04 AM 11-20-2013
I am very happy to say that I've never been put in that situation.
Reply
spinnymarie 10:06 AM 11-20-2013
I have at school when I thought that an injury was inconsistent with the story. It won't hurt for them to have it on record that you thought there might be a form of neglect.
Reply
Leigh 10:12 AM 11-20-2013
As a provider, yes. Nothing happened. They didn't even discuss with the family (and the severe neglect continues to this day). As a foster parent, yes. The reports were found to be valid.
Reply
Unregistered 10:22 AM 11-20-2013
As a coach I turned a mother in after her daughter confided in me that she was being beat. I won't give too much information here but CPS eventually had the girl live with her dad.

Does the mom have a job in which she would need to sleep weird hours or do you think she has a substance abuse problem? From my experience CPS was so busy they almost dismissed my complaint and I had a child that was 12 and told me exactly what was going on. It was ridiculous. Just make sure that you have more than a hunch, otherwise it may become worse. What if she takes the kids out of your care and you are the only consistent normal thing in their lives? Without a doubt if you think the kids are in immediate danger, call, but if you are just suspicious find out more information and arm yourself with more info. The mom I reported called and threatened me and I ended up getting a restraining order. She told me if she wants to beat her kid that's her business, not mine. Luckily she left the message on a voicemail so it helped the child's case. That mom was insane!
Reply
coolconfidentme 10:24 AM 11-20-2013
ALWAYS error on the side of the child! I have reported injuries to CPS & the mom was furious with me. I told her I was doing what the law required me to do & she should be thankful someone has put her child's best interest ahead of everyone else. If she did nothing, she has nothing to worry about.
Reply
Blackcat31 10:38 AM 11-20-2013
yes I have reported a parent before.

I've also given information to a guardian ad litem and testified in court.

ALWAYS err on the side of caution. As a mandated reporter you are legally required to report anything you feel is abuse, physical, mental or emotional.

It is up to the courts to decide if the report is valid enough to look into.

I know most providers fear parents will be angry and upset with them but it's part of the job description you agreed to when you became a professional child care provider.

It may make a parent mad but it could save a child's life.
Reply
GKJNIGMN 10:39 AM 11-20-2013
She does work 3rd shift but her kids are in daycare while she is at work plus 8 hours afterwards so she can sleep.

I wouldn't say it's a hunch because her children can tell me they got hurt while mommy was sleeping and I understand things happen it's more the fact that it keeps happening.

The dirty clothes, the fact that they smell, black crusty moldy stuff in the sippy cups, etc. I know for a fact isn't related to her working 3rd shift. I contacted a friend of mine who did care in the same city and found out she had them as well back when the mother was working 1st shift but terminated care after 2 weeks. Said she had to bathe them when they came in the house because she was worried they would bring in bugs or something.
Reply
itlw8 12:02 PM 11-20-2013
I called on my sister in law once. I was told what I described was not neglect but poor parenting. It has to get pretty low to be called neglect. sad. The kids were mostly school age at the time.
Reply
thetoddlerwhisper 01:24 PM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I was wondering if anybody here has ever reported a parent to CPS/CYS and how you made the decision that you needed to report.

I have a family that I am just going back and forth on whether to call. I have concerns that the mother is sleeping instead of supervising and so far this week alone one of the 2 kids arrived with a large bruise by her eye she says was from falling off the bed and the other required a trip to the emergency room after falling off a bed and cutting her back.

I do believe the children are telling the truth and do not think someone is purposely hurting them but I don't think they are being supervised.

They are also often dirty and wearing clothes that don't fit properly. I get them dressed in the morning and today the mother sent a tank top for a kindergartner. It is basically going on Winter and we are in PA.

There have been other instances of injury where they tell me DCM was sleeping and I have been going back and forth for going on 2 months. I need to make a decision and for some reason I am scared to call and be wrong.
i have. it was dismissed altho it was severe neglect and i still continue to care for that child and clean them daily.
Reply
jenn 01:30 PM 11-20-2013
As a daycare provider, no. As a kindergarten teacher, yes. You are not convicting the mom of anything, just reporting a suspected neglect. If it is found to be not true, great. If you found out later that something happened due to neglect, and you had been suspicious of it, that would be hard. Go with your gut.
Reply
nannyde 01:50 PM 11-20-2013
I did a long time ago. I had a sib group of a 2 year old and baby. I think the baby was about 10 months.

The baby started arriving at my house with bites ALL over her arms, face, legs etc. I KNEW they couldn't have come from my house. I have had one bite my first year of doing daycare. Never happened again.

I started pointing them out to Mom and she started suggesting they happened here. (This was within a week of starting). I started doing a head to toe assessment on her EVERY day at drop off and pick up and documented each bite. A couple of days of showing Mom she left with nothing new but came with new ones the Mom couldn't pawn them off on me.

Second week they came back and the baby was covered in them. I did an assessment at drop off and saw how torn up she was ... pointed them out to Mom and documented them in front of mom. She left and I called dhs. I was able to photograph and email pics to the worker.

They visited her and it came back unfounded. They said that since it was the two year old doing it there wasn't much they could do. Of course that was my last day with them. Mom was livid.

The DHS said the Mom should be supervising better but it didn't rise to the level of nneglect even though the babies face had many bites.

It was around the time that one of my daycare friends sister lost her daycare registration AND her LPN License after getting a founded case of neglect from a daycare kid that was bitten multiple times over days by a daycare kid.

Her deal was nothing compared to my dc baby. Neither the biter or bitee were infants.
Reply
Unregistered 02:32 PM 11-20-2013
I did once and the parent WAS furious. However, when I explained WHY I did it, besides legally I had to, I explained, I never accused the parent. For all I know, an OUTSIDER is abusing the child, say at school or maybe at camp or who knows? It's not ALWAYS that I'm reporting the parent. I was reporting the SUSPICIOUS SITUATION altogether. It was up to the state to sift out IF my suspicions were founded or not and if the parent didn't do the injustice, find out WHO DID for the best interest of the child. So, when I made my report I stated I thought the child was being abused, I saw bruises that looked like hand prints, stuff like that, but I never actually said WHO I thought was doing the abuse because I couldn't be sure and the parent's didn't SEEM like they would but because I was not the only provider and neither were the parents, I knew SOMEONE put a hand on that child that wasn't me and if it wasn't the parents, SOMEONE who was doing it needed to be found out. KWIM?
Reply
MotherNature 08:38 AM 11-21-2013
No, but I considered it with my first family. Mom wouldn't wash DCB's clothes very often. There were many occasions when he would wear the same thing 4 days in a row, including socks. It wasn't because he was being difficult and wanting to wear it either. He also smelled like cat pee a couple times too & mom verified that the cat peed on his clothes, but her car was broken & she didn't want to ride the bus to the laundromat a few blocks away.
Reply
TwinKristi 09:02 AM 11-21-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I did once and the parent WAS furious. However, when I explained WHY I did it, besides legally I had to, I explained, I never accused the parent. For all I know, an OUTSIDER is abusing the child, say at school or maybe at camp or who knows? It's not ALWAYS that I'm reporting the parent. I was reporting the SUSPICIOUS SITUATION altogether. It was up to the state to sift out IF my suspicions were founded or not and if the parent didn't do the injustice, find out WHO DID for the best interest of the child. So, when I made my report I stated I thought the child was being abused, I saw bruises that looked like hand prints, stuff like that, but I never actually said WHO I thought was doing the abuse because I couldn't be sure and the parent's didn't SEEM like they would but because I was not the only provider and neither were the parents, I knew SOMEONE put a hand on that child that wasn't me and if it wasn't the parents, SOMEONE who was doing it needed to be found out. KWIM?
How did the parent know you did it? I have always been told that you never admit that you did it. It's completely confidential.

OP- yes I have. A sibling (dad and his new Gf's baby) of a family I watched had horrible scabs and sores on her toes at 7-8mos and mom said it was from "throwing fits" but to me it looked like they sat wet or dirty in socks/shoes and looked very painful. I was also told they didn't have hot water, heat or a stove/oven. I also witnessed the child in a car seat that was not made for babies under 1yr and was forward facing. They didn't do anything about it. I ha dto report them again about a year later when one of the kids I watched came back from a visit saying the gf scratched her leg when she got mad at her and she had a bad scratch on her foot. Again, nothing was done.
Reply
hope 09:11 AM 11-21-2013
I did. I really, really, really did not want to believe anything was wrong. I really did not want to get involved. But I did want to help the child in question. I came on this site and asked if I should report and was so glad that people here gave me the push I needed. Turned out my suspicions were right. Please call.
Reply
Lorri 04:02 PM 11-22-2013
I did once about 14 yrs ago, state of Michigan you are require to report, the boy showed me a bruise on his arm that moms boyfriend left, mom had been saying things to me and she was gone for a few. So I reported it. Told the mom I did. Boyfriend got upset with me, I told them by law I had to report. The state didn't even interview him, they did the mom.
Reply
Maria2013 05:12 PM 11-22-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I am very happy to say that I've never been put in that situation.
that^
Reply
Sunchimes 05:52 PM 11-22-2013
I did, not as a daycare provider but as a teacher. Over Christmas holidays, a parent called me and asked if I knew where "Jimmy's" parents were. She said that Jimmy had been spending an enormous amount of time at her house with her son since school had let out. He was evasive about his parents, but the mom said she was worried that he had been abandoned. He was 11 at the time. The family were living in a cabin at a campground. My husband and I went out there, no one was there and almost nothing was in the cabin when we looked inside. I called and reported it. The other parent told me that his parent's showed up a few days later. He came back to school for about a week then they checked him out and vanished. Twenty five years later, I still worry about him.
Reply
KidGrind 07:46 PM 11-22-2013
No and Yes.

No and the child is dead.

Yes and the mother ended up being committed for awhile.
Reply
Tags:cps, reporting - parents
Reply Up