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  #1  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:15 PM
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No oil for you!!

I have a set of siblings (DCB- 1st grade & DCG- 4). They come 3 days a week. (T, W&Th). They've been coming for 8 years to my house. I've repeatedly told them I charge for the spot and not the hours. They are a neighbor and we are friends as they have kids the same age as my kids. I didn't have the backbone a few years ago that I have now. So, he would push for sibling discount and I caved. I offered to hold their spots free of charge over the summer even though everyone else signing new contracts needed to pay 2 days tuition to hold. From what I know they are not hurting for $$. This isn't family with hardships by any means. They asked and I caved. I changed.

I quoted the price in July for late August start date. $45 for the full day $35 for Wednesdays (has preschool for 2-1/2 hours, here for 6-1/2). $80/month for their son for before and after school. No issues, received checks monthly I'm going on vacation in November and are not charging so he was figuring out how much to pay me and, Today... October 17th... He feels Wednesdays should be 1/2 price $20-25 since he's also paying for preschool. ??? I'm already discounting $10 more that I normally would. All while I was explaining my prices are fair, Feel free to research prices for my area, he is making faces. I wanted to kick him in the shin. I HATE confrontation. He came at me and I could feel my face getting all red.

My DH says to just let it go, but I feel it necessary to say my prices are set, feel free to put in your 2 weeks if your unhappy. I love this DCG, and it hurts that they would even ask. Im taking it personally, as if they don't value the relationship we've developed over the past 8 years. They also have many *special* requests. Ugh!

Do I say anything? I stood my ground this morning. He just acted sullen and spoiled. WWYD?
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  #2  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:20 PM
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If he said anything, I would tell him "These are the already discounted prices that you have agreed to. If this doesn't work for you, I understand that you have to find care elsewhere. Don't forget the notice (whatever it is)."


and be done. I feel as if he is taking advantage of knowing you personally instead of appreciating the relationship.
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  #3  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:20 PM
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Nope, don't say another thing. You said it, and DH is wrong, man...don't let it go.

DCD having a hissy fit about it should not affect you any more than if one of the kids did. He can feel any way he wants, but that's not on you.

....a little pat on the ol' backbone for ya...
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  #4  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:22 PM
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It's hard to believe he would put you in a position like that. I would go with your husband on this one. If this is a friend and neighbor, you might want to put one in the "bank" as my husband likes to say. I would say, well "Ted", I thought about it and if you feel like $25 (or whatever amount) is fair, I want you to be happy. I would ask in return that you don't tell any of the other parents and we keep this to ourselves. Then, say this- I know what it is like to struggle financially, we struggle month to month, so I would rather take less than to lose her all together. That may guilt him into paying more... Or, maybe he can donate food or something to your daycare. Is there a trade he can do?
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  #5  
Old 10-17-2013, 01:45 PM
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I would stand my ground- no way I would cave to a hissy fit!!
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  #6  
Old 10-17-2013, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by BrooklynM View Post
It's hard to believe he would put you in a position like that. I would go with your husband on this one. If this is a friend and neighbor, you might want to put one in the "bank" as my husband likes to say. I would say, well "Ted", I thought about it and if you feel like $25 (or whatever amount) is fair, I want you to be happy. I would ask in return that you don't tell any of the other parents and we keep this to ourselves. Then, say this- I know what it is like to struggle financially, we struggle month to month, so I would rather take less than to lose her all together. That may guilt him into paying more... Or, maybe he can donate food or something to your daycare. Is there a trade he can do?
I completely disagree in every way.

Why waste time hinting that you are struggling financially and hope the parents decide to pay more? Thats not how businesses work. I don't go into Walmart and get anything for free just because I need the items. They set the price, I pay it or shop elsewhere.

Stick with your rates. They are already discounted. Stop letting parents throw tantrums and stop letting your husband dictate your business.
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  #7  
Old 10-17-2013, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post

Stick with your rates. They are already discounted. Stop letting parents throw tantrums and stop letting your husband dictate your business.
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  #8  
Old 10-17-2013, 02:07 PM
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Are they negotiating prices with preschool too since they're already paying for daycare? That's what I would ask! That's redicilous. They're using their friendship/neighbor status as a reason to devalue your care. I think $80 for the MONTH for after school care is beyond reasonable and they should be happy getting what they get! After 8yrs they want to low-ball you!? Ick! That's pretty low.
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  #9  
Old 10-17-2013, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
I completely disagree in every way.

Why waste time hinting that you are struggling financially and hope the parents decide to pay more? Thats not how businesses work. I don't go into Walmart and get anything for free just because I need the items. They set the price, I pay it or shop elsewhere.

Stick with your rates. They are already discounted. Stop letting parents throw tantrums and stop letting your husband dictate your business.
Don't cave! If you left it as you weren't going to change the price then just leave it and let dcd decide what he wants. If you think you left room for doubt then have a brief convo saying your prices are set. Leave it there- chances are he won't say any more.
Keep that back bone strong!!!
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  #10  
Old 10-17-2013, 05:08 PM
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"Hmmm, what did preschool say when you asked them for a discount because you are already paying for daycare?"

I don't understand why some parents think preschool is a priority over daycare especially when so many providers include preschool activities anyway!

I don't think you should change rates at all.
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  #11  
Old 10-17-2013, 05:30 PM
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I agree that you should not change your rates. You have financial obligations just like anywhere else and honestly it was his choice to enroll her in preschool knowing full well what his rate would be ahead of time for care through you. Plus, as was already mentioned when you do daycare combined with preschool learning there really is no need for preschool. Plus at daycare there is more emphasis on sharing and learning how to play and not all abcs and counting.
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  #12  
Old 10-18-2013, 12:40 AM
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Huh. Well, I would change my prices. I would remove my discounts altogether for this entitled twit. Say that you have been thinking about it and your regular rate is very fair and within market values and as of (notice date) that will be the rate from now on. No discussion. Just, take it or leave it. You were mistaken to be persuaded into the lower rate and feel now that it has set a poor precedent for bad behavior and further haggling. Then thank him for making the decision so easy for you and say what amount of paid notice is needed if he decides that arrangement won't work for him.

He will probably pull, so if you can't do it financially, I get that. Just stand firm on the discounted rate as everyone else has said. But if you CAN, then yes, I would not let this man treat you like this and finally make sure he has some sort of consequence for his actions. He might treat you badly, but I bet he'll think twice before he messes with the next provider. Finally, give your husband a shake. That is way out of line that he is okay with a grown man bullying you about rates! Doesn't matter if it is a neighbor, friend, or long time client. In fact, that is way harder to stomach. Those people should be supportive and respect you more than the average joe, not trying to take even more advantage of you! No way should you let it go!
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  #13  
Old 10-18-2013, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by julie View Post
Huh. Well, I would change my prices. I would remove my discounts altogether for this entitled twit. Say that you have been thinking about it and your regular rate is very fair and within market values and as of (notice date) that will be the rate from now on. No discussion. Just, take it or leave it. You were mistaken to be persuaded into the lower rate and feel now that it has set a poor precedent for bad behavior and further haggling. Then thank him for making the decision so easy for you and say what amount of paid notice is needed if he decides that arrangement won't work for him.

He will probably pull, so if you can't do it financially, I get that. Just stand firm on the discounted rate as everyone else has said. But if you CAN, then yes, I would not let this man treat you like this and finally make sure he has some sort of consequence for his actions. He might treat you badly, but I bet he'll think twice before he messes with the next provider. Finally, give your husband a shake. That is way out of line that he is okay with a grown man bullying you about rates! Doesn't matter if it is a neighbor, friend, or long time client. In fact, that is way harder to stomach. Those people should be supportive and respect you more than the average joe, not trying to take even more advantage of you! No way should you let it go!
I agree with this.

I'd be embarrassed to call this man a friend. Friends do NOT treat each other this way. (especially those who are treating them so well)

He should be going out of his way to treat you better!

I'd change my rates too..... right back to your regular rates, include a copy of your withdrawl policies and let him choose.

What a jerk!

I'm sorry he treated you so rudely.
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2013, 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by julie View Post
Huh. Well, I would change my prices. I would remove my discounts altogether for this entitled twit. Say that you have been thinking about it and your regular rate is very fair and within market values and as of (notice date) that will be the rate from now on. No discussion. Just, take it or leave it. You were mistaken to be persuaded into the lower rate and feel now that it has set a poor precedent for bad behavior and further haggling. Then thank him for making the decision so easy for you and say what amount of paid notice is needed if he decides that arrangement won't work for him.

He will probably pull, so if you can't do it financially, I get that. Just stand firm on the discounted rate as everyone else has said. But if you CAN, then yes, I would not let this man treat you like this and finally make sure he has some sort of consequence for his actions. He might treat you badly, but I bet he'll think twice before he messes with the next provider. Finally, give your husband a shake. That is way out of line that he is okay with a grown man bullying you about rates! Doesn't matter if it is a neighbor, friend, or long time client. In fact, that is way harder to stomach. Those people should be supportive and respect you more than the average joe, not trying to take even more advantage of you! No way should you let it go!
This, definitely!
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  #15  
Old 10-18-2013, 07:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KDC View Post
No oil for you!!

I have a set of siblings (DCB- 1st grade & DCG- 4). They come 3 days a week. (T, W&Th). They've been coming for 8 years to my house. I've repeatedly told them I charge for the spot and not the hours. They are a neighbor and we are friends as they have kids the same age as my kids. I didn't have the backbone a few years ago that I have now. So, he would push for sibling discount and I caved. I offered to hold their spots free of charge over the summer even though everyone else signing new contracts needed to pay 2 days tuition to hold. From what I know they are not hurting for $$. This isn't family with hardships by any means. They asked and I caved. I changed.

I quoted the price in July for late August start date. $45 for the full day $35 for Wednesdays (has preschool for 2-1/2 hours, here for 6-1/2). $80/month for their son for before and after school. No issues, received checks monthly I'm going on vacation in November and are not charging so he was figuring out how much to pay me and, Today... October 17th... He feels Wednesdays should be 1/2 price $20-25 since he's also paying for preschool. ??? I'm already discounting $10 more that I normally would. All while I was explaining my prices are fair, Feel free to research prices for my area, he is making faces. I wanted to kick him in the shin. I HATE confrontation. He came at me and I could feel my face getting all red.

My DH says to just let it go, but I feel it necessary to say my prices are set, feel free to put in your 2 weeks if your unhappy. I love this DCG, and it hurts that they would even ask. Im taking it personally, as if they don't value the relationship we've developed over the past 8 years. They also have many *special* requests. Ugh!

Do I say anything? I stood my ground this morning. He just acted sullen and spoiled. WWYD?


I took on a neighbor/friend's daughter a few years ago. I had always though she played nicely with my two kids and it was going to be wonderful. I discounted because she would be very PT. She turned out to be way more work then most of the other kids, and I found out later on she told lies about me (I was mean, didn't treat her well, etc.) The day I told them I wasn't able to take her anymore was the BEST. Of course they tried to say "well we were going to go elsewhere anyway" of course they were
I would either stand your ground or give some excuse to get rid of them.
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  #16  
Old 10-18-2013, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by julie View Post
Huh. Well, I would change my prices. I would remove my discounts altogether for this entitled twit. Say that you have been thinking about it and your regular rate is very fair and within market values and as of (notice date) that will be the rate from now on. No discussion. Just, take it or leave it. You were mistaken to be persuaded into the lower rate and feel now that it has set a poor precedent for bad behavior and further haggling. Then thank him for making the decision so easy for you and say what amount of paid notice is needed if he decides that arrangement won't work for him.

He will probably pull, so if you can't do it financially, I get that. Just stand firm on the discounted rate as everyone else has said. But if you CAN, then yes, I would not let this man treat you like this and finally make sure he has some sort of consequence for his actions. He might treat you badly, but I bet he'll think twice before he messes with the next provider. Finally, give your husband a shake. That is way out of line that he is okay with a grown man bullying you about rates! Doesn't matter if it is a neighbor, friend, or long time client. In fact, that is way harder to stomach. Those people should be supportive and respect you more than the average joe, not trying to take even more advantage of you! No way should you let it go!
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