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Old 03-13-2014, 10:51 AM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is offline
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School was closed today so I had my 6 yo big brother of one of my dcgs. He's always been a 'thorn in my side' so to speak. He's sneaky and doesn't always tell the truth so I'm not sure if I should believe him or the 5 yo dcg who this also involves, or if it really matters at this point. But 6 yo dcb has done this before and he KNOWS how upset I was the 1st time. It involved a different dcg. First I have to say I'm 99.99% sure it's not a case of 'playing doctor' or anything like that. He just loves to be sneaky, hide, things like that. What ended up happening was he and the 5 yo dcg were both in the bathroom at the same time, she had told him to hide in the shower, she said she was going to the bathroom(but evidently didn't tell him). He said he didn't know she was going to use the bathroom.
The 1st time this happened I was livid and expected him to remember to NOT do it again, that it was NOT appropriate.
I never mentioned it to either parent before because I was pretty sure it was innocent and wouldn't occur again. Now I absolutely feel I need to speak up, especially to his parents.
How would you word it, would you tell the dcg's parents too? Should I even back track and tell the other dcg's parent that it happened with before?
Some days I detest the responsibility of caring for other people's kids.

I forgot to add that they locked the bathroom door too. Both times.
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:08 AM
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I'm sure many others will have better advice on what to say to the parents but I will just say I feel like this is a supervision issue. They should never have been allowed to be in the bathroom at the same time. I think the parents may bring this up and ask where you were while this happened?
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:44 AM
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I wish I could explain the layout of my house, my bathroom is located between 2 bedrooms, the 2 bedrooms are located off my living room and kitchen. I was cleaning up the lunch table, announcing we were going to start getting ready for quiet time, asking the kids to pick out a couple books for story time. After I had loaded the dishes into the dishpan, I went into the living room to read to them. I noticed R and A weren't there so I went right to the bathroom. This all took place within 3 minutes, no longer. My house is very small.
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:52 AM
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If you do talk to the parents, I would definitely have a plan in place to prevent this from happening again if possible. For instance, I wouldn't allow them to leave the table while I clean up the lunch or have them help you clean up. Maybe save the clean up until after they are settled for quiet time. Some kids just seem prone to causing trouble...maybe consider not accepting dcb in care anymore if you constantly have to devote extra attention to his problem behaviors? Maybe he's not a good fit?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kabob View Post
If you do talk to the parents, I would definitely have a plan in place to prevent this from happening again if possible. For instance, I wouldn't allow them to leave the table while I clean up the lunch or have them help you clean up. Maybe save the clean up until after they are settled for quiet time. Some kids just seem prone to causing trouble...maybe consider not accepting dcb in care anymore if you constantly have to devote extra attention to his problem behaviors? Maybe he's not a good fit?
I have one child 5.5 who cannot go to the restroom without me outside the door otherwise he does crazy things.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kabob View Post
If you do talk to the parents, I would definitely have a plan in place to prevent this from happening again if possible. For instance, I wouldn't allow them to leave the table while I clean up the lunch or have them help you clean up. Maybe save the clean up until after they are settled for quiet time. Some kids just seem prone to causing trouble...maybe consider not accepting dcb in care anymore if you constantly have to devote extra attention to his problem behaviors? Maybe he's not a good fit?
I clean up after I attend the kids. After lunch we leave the table one by one and I help them get ready for nap, use potty, diaper changes, then while they are settling to sleep I clean. They are used to me making noise at this time and I can keep my eyes on them at the same time. I would talk to the kids and explain bathroom time is to be asked and one at a time. Best-
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:19 PM
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I dont' think this is a supervision issue - esp if you have told him before that he is not to go in the bathroom while others are in there, you should be able to trust a child to follow the rules in the short times your back is turned. If you cannot, it's an issue.

After enforcing shadowing with DBC all day, I'd say this to DCM, while DCB stands with us:
"Mom/Dad, I'm sorry to say that DCB snuck into the bathroom while another student was using it this afternoon. This happened once before, and we discussed it at length, so I thought that DCB understood that this is inappropriate and not to happen again. Unfortunately, I guess DCB will have to be in my sight at all times while he is here now, and that means he will probably miss some of the fun things that we do, since he will have to be with me in the kitchen while the kids read books, etc. I hope that you will continue this discussion of what is appropriate with DCB at home."

I'd also yank the lock off the bathroom door, and talk to DCG as well.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by spinnymarie View Post
I dont' think this is a supervision issue - esp if you have told him before that he is not to go in the bathroom while others are in there, you should be able to trust a child to follow the rules in the short times your back is turned. If you cannot, it's an issue.

After enforcing shadowing with DBC all day, I'd say this to DCM, while DCB stands with us:
"Mom/Dad, I'm sorry to say that DCB snuck into the bathroom while another student was using it this afternoon. This happened once before, and we discussed it at length, so I thought that DCB understood that this is inappropriate and not to happen again. Unfortunately, I guess DCB will have to be in my sight at all times while he is here now, and that means he will probably miss some of the fun things that we do, since he will have to be with me in the kitchen while the kids read books, etc. I hope that you will continue this discussion of what is appropriate with DCB at home."

I'd also yank the lock off the bathroom door, and talk to DCG as well.
Pretty much. I just wouldn't want to enter that conversation empty handed. Definitely would want to let the parents know that I have a plan and I need them to be on board to make it work. If it won't or can't work out then that's that. If you need an extra person to be able to make sure this boy doesn't sneak off and cause more issues then I would just say he's no longer a good fit for my program and term. That sounds like too much of a liability.

And yes personally I clean up after all the children are resting as getting ready for nap/quiet time can be a busy time especially if I have some crabby, tired kiddos on my hands. But every group of kids is different. Plus my group is pretty small.

Anyway...I definitely would just consider him aged out of my program...that would just worry me a lot...
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinnymarie View Post
I dont' think this is a supervision issue - esp if you have told him before that he is not to go in the bathroom while others are in there, you should be able to trust a child to follow the rules in the short times your back is turned. If you cannot, it's an issue.

After enforcing shadowing with DBC all day, I'd say this to DCM, while DCB stands with us:
"Mom/Dad, I'm sorry to say that DCB snuck into the bathroom while another student was using it this afternoon. This happened once before, and we discussed it at length, so I thought that DCB understood that this is inappropriate and not to happen again. Unfortunately, I guess DCB will have to be in my sight at all times while he is here now, and that means he will probably miss some of the fun things that we do, since he will have to be with me in the kitchen while the kids read books, etc. I hope that you will continue this discussion of what is appropriate with DCB at home."

I'd also yank the lock off the bathroom door, and talk to DCG as well.
Of course this has to do with supervision or it wouldn't have happened The DCB has already proven that he is sneaky and lies, so he can't be trusted. He needs extra supervision or he is no longer a good fit with your program.
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