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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kids With Long Days Away From Parents
Unregistered 11:39 AM 01-04-2011
I was wondering do any of you have kids in your care for longer than a ten hour day when it is obvious that the child doesn't need to be there that long? Eg. Parents go home first for awhile then pick up their child/children. Mom doesn't have to be to work till 9am but has dad drops off before 7am. Or dad or mom gets off work at 2 or 3 and then shows up at 5 or 5:30 to pick up their child/children.

I feel so bad for the child/children whose parents do this. Especially when a family has a baby that they leave for that long of a day.
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Blackcat31 11:49 AM 01-04-2011
Yup...got one family who arrives at 7:00 a.m. and gets picked up at 6:00 p.m. five days a week. Neither parent works until 8 and 8:30 respectively and one parent is off at 5 while other is off at 4:30 and doesn't even work on Fridays at all. They have 3 kids but only 1 attends childcare the older two are in school. They pay me a full week rate and those are the hours I am open so no matter how much it bothers me...it's their money and their loss of time...so as my teen age neice would say, "whatev.."
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nannyde 11:51 AM 01-04-2011
No I only allow nine hour days max
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Cat Herder 11:51 AM 01-04-2011
Most of mine get off work a full hour or more before they pick-up. All of mine start as 6 week olds, rarely do I have one here less than 10 hours. It is unfortunate but really not my business. Not being short...just honest. I let it bother me for years but at the end of the day....they all want their moneys worth and I am paid for my services, not my opinions.
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momatheart 11:55 AM 01-04-2011
that is true. Paid for our service not our opinions. WOW blackcat31, that is such a long day for that child. I hope that child is well behaved for you.
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Cat Herder 11:58 AM 01-04-2011
Originally Posted by momatheart:
that is true. Paid for our service not our opinions.
Don't get me wrong...I expressed my opinions several times over the years and it almost ALWAYS cost me my income. I now only offer it when they ask and keep comparable hours to my my competition.
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MARSTELAC 04:23 PM 01-04-2011
I've gone to 10 hour days with anything to 10.5 hours as overtime and anything over 10.5 hours is double overtime. Most of my parents would rather not spend time with their kids....so sad.
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countrymom 06:09 AM 01-05-2011
I did, but it had nothing to do with being jealous, its the fact that when I needed to take a day off (to get a break from the kids) it was the parents who would complain because they had to spend the day with their kids, thats what eirks me the most.
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Blackcat31 07:11 AM 01-05-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I did, but it had nothing to do with being jealous, its the fact that when I needed to take a day off (to get a break from the kids) it was the parents who would complain because they had to spend the day with their kids, thats what eirks me the most.
Yeah, my little one who stays for so long...well his mom was off for a week over Christmas and she told me the child wouldn't be here that week.....then she added, "Unless I get sick of him...haha!" But I knew she was serious...so sure enough on Monday at 9 a.m. she calls and he was here. The older two didn't come (?) He came 4 out of the 5 days she was on vacation. Her loss. He is a great kid and I don't mind spending the time with him...just wish I could claim him as a dependent on my taxes since I pretty much have him more than the parents!
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E Daycare 10:29 AM 01-05-2011
I had one kid whos mom stayed home and yet sent him here every day from 8am to 5:30pm. EVERY DAY. She stopped working after she miscarried their second child so I think she got really depressed so for the 5 months I cared for their son she stayed home. They paid regularly so that was fine but I never could understand parents who didnt want to be with their child.I had a hard time leaving my son in care after I started working that I got bitter and eventually quit when he was 7 months to start my own daycare so I could stay at home with him.

The current dcg I have, her dad doesnt work either but mom goes out of her way from work in the early morning to drop her off and then races here in the afternoon to get her as to not get charged extra. Why her father doesnt pick her up is beyond me. The new little boy I watch mom seems mad that she has to work and is always excited to come and pick him up. It depends I guess.

A ex friend of mine is looking for part time care for her daughter even though shes a stay at home mom and she said she will need a break once the new baby arrives. I figured that much since its a new baby and they are exhausting but also figured she wouldnt be able to handle another kid anyways. My question is; why have a kid if A) you cant handle them or B) dont want to spend the time with them?
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Live and Learn 12:21 PM 01-05-2011
my hours are 8-4.....I am only open for school days and teacher work days.
Reading the previous posts, I feel so sorry for the kids whose parents bring them to dc on days off rather than spend that time with them. I really can't imagine having kids if I didn't want to raise them up myself!!
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ammama 01:25 PM 01-05-2011
I have one family whose Dad gets off work at lunch time (PT work), but he is going to night school, and uses the afternoons to study. I don't know when he sees his son. This boy is here from 8-5, but he is my longest. Most of my dck's are here from 8:30 or 9 until 4 or 4:30. There has been a few times when kids didn't get picked up until 5:30, but it doesn't happen often.
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lvt77 02:23 PM 01-05-2011
Have you thought about usinmg contracted times?
example: I am open from 6-6, however, that does not mean that everyone can come during those hours....if you are contracted from 8:30-5:30, then these are your hours. I teach a preschool program and also have three of my own children. so time is very important to me.

So when parents come to interview I ask them what are your work hours and your commute time...if they tell me I leave for work at 9am each day and get home about 5:45then I would tell them that for the first two week trial, there hours will be from 8:30-6:00 each day and we will see how those hours work. I then add if they need more than 9.5 hours of care, that they would have to pay over time fees. so far not one parent has tried to change their contracted time after the two week trial.....

Also, sometimes you just have to bit your tongue...I wish some of my DCP would parent differently too, and I love these children, sounds like you do too. I had to learn that unless they are harming their child then really I can't say much......stinks but it's what goes with the biz..........

Also I just changed my hours from 6-6 to 7:45-6:00pm starts nexr month. I just got way to burnt out and felt bad for my own kids that mom was home but was always spending her time taking care of others.....
best of luck to you....
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boysx5 03:15 PM 01-05-2011
I have one that is here ten hour days sometimes the mom will go home and change but most days she works late and travels an hour to get here so it ends up being a long day.
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lvt77 03:29 PM 01-05-2011
to boysx5
I feel for you because I have a single mom in the same situation. I expanded my hours for her so that I could take on her child full time, but after closing my book for 2010, I made $1.40 per hour per child...I worked 90hours a week. This included hours of operation, shopping for food, cleaning, accounting, meal prep, and etc......
so at the end of the day, it was my fault I worked so many hours and it was not worth my time......I love all of my DCKs, however, doing this for one child is just crazy....lol or maybe I am the crazy one....
in the end, I talked to the mom to see if there was any way that she could get her child to care later and she actually had help. So now my hours are 7:45-6:00 pm and not to excceed 9.5 hours of care. You work hard, but don't kill yourself trying to please everyone else....
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Unregistered 04:44 PM 01-05-2011
Seems like we all have the same type of experiences. I work in a center and those kids that are there from to close I feel so bad for. Thanks for your input on this. I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt it was a long day for those kids.

I am thinking of possibly doing my own daycare and becoming liscenced. I would definitely do contracted hours and I would not take SA. I have learned so much from this board.
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JenNJ 09:07 AM 01-06-2011
My longest child is ere 9 hours and 15 minutes. That is the longest I would take a child. Any more than that an they aren't spending enough time with family and behavior issues will arise.
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Blackcat31 10:08 AM 01-06-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
My longest child is ere 9 hours and 15 minutes. That is the longest I would take a child. Any more than that an they aren't spending enough time with family and behavior issues will arise.
I find the exact opposite to be true. The ones I have who are here for 4-5 days a week more than 8 hours a day are so used to my rules it is second nature to them. The kids who are here 3 days or less a week test me to no end because I assume they do things differently at home.
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momma2girls 08:18 AM 01-07-2011
I took my daycare hrs. out of my contract yrs. ago. If you have them in your contract, some, I repeat some of the parents will use your extent every single day. I placed in I provide daycare for your work and commute times only! I have a 9 hr. day, 5 days a week and that is long enough for me!! Technically that is already 5 hrs. OT each week!! lol!!
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momma2girls 08:19 AM 01-07-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
My longest child is ere 9 hours and 15 minutes. That is the longest I would take a child. Any more than that an they aren't spending enough time with family and behavior issues will arise.
I totally agree!!
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E Daycare 09:52 AM 01-07-2011
Id love to charge by the hour. Maybe then thatll get a parents butt in gear thinking that theyd have to pay 50$ a day if the kid was here 10hrs at a rate of $5.00/hr. Instead I charge $35.00 a day and the kids are usually here 10hrs coming to $3.50/hr. Ya think that would light a fire under their rears?

I say Id love to charge by the hour but then Id be broke as parents are only looking for the "cheaper is better" route when it comes to the care of their kids.
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Liliya 04:40 PM 01-09-2011
One of my dck mom :" I do not have to work this week,but I did not know what to do,bring them later? keep them home? pick them up earlier?
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QualiTcare 08:43 PM 01-09-2011
Originally Posted by ammama:
I have one family whose Dad gets off work at lunch time (PT work), but he is going to night school, and uses the afternoons to study. I don't know when he sees his son. This boy is here from 8-5, but he is my longest. Most of my dck's are here from 8:30 or 9 until 4 or 4:30. There has been a few times when kids didn't get picked up until 5:30, but it doesn't happen often.
my daughter had long days in daycare when i was working and going to school. i even said to the director one time, "is it even legal how long she's here?" and she assured me it was. i worked at the daycare some of the time throughout school so that helped, but it was still a sacrifice. the way i saw it was i could either have her in daycare while i went to college so by the time she was old enough to know what was going on, i could have a "good job" and have plenty of time (and money) for her - OR i could put school off and work a mediocre job her entire life, and probably not be home when she got home from school, etc. i'm glad i chose daycare while i got an education. she's in 1st grade now, doesn't remember the long days at daycare when she was a baby, and i have all the time in the world to spend with her. i MAY even be able to homeschool within the next year or so. that's something i would've never, ever considered as an option before, and would've been out of the realm of possibility if it weren't for those long days at daycare that she doesn't remember.
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Cat Herder 12:22 PM 01-10-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
the way i saw it was i could either have her in daycare while i went to college so by the time she was old enough to know what was going on, i could have a "good job" and have plenty of time (and money) for her - OR i could put school off and work a mediocre job her entire life, .
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.
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Live and Learn 01:02 PM 01-10-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.
Cat Herder...I am so sorry.
That is awful.
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misol 01:11 PM 01-10-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.

Catherder. This is a terrible tragedy and I am so sorry that you had to go through this.
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QualiTcare 05:23 PM 01-10-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.
that's horrible and i'm sorry for your loss.

however, kids die from SIDS at home all the time, and i don't think asking "what if they were to die" as an infant is a reason for to put on the "con list" when making a decision. either way, my daughter would've had to go to daycare - staying home wasn't an option. the days just would've been shorter had i only worked and NOT gone to school, but as i said - i'd have to work a mediocre job for years and years and not be as stable when she was 18 as i already am today.
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Blackcat31 08:30 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
that's horrible and i'm sorry for your loss.

however, kids die from SIDS at home all the time, and i don't think asking "what if they were to die" as an infant is a reason for to put on the "con list" when making a decision. either way, my daughter would've had to go to daycare - staying home wasn't an option. the days just would've been shorter had i only worked and NOT gone to school, but as i said - i'd have to work a mediocre job for years and years and not be as stable when she was 18 as i already am today.
I'm sure kids die equally in home and at daycare of SIDS but I'm getting the message from catherder that it is the loss of the time she could have had with him that she is referring to. I think we all bank on having enough time later rather than realizing that time should be spent today and NEVER banked until later. If I had been in catherders position, I would have added possible loss of limited time to my "con list" IMMEDIATELY when faced with that decision again.

So sorry for your loss catherder. That is one situation NO parent should ever have to deal with.
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nannyde 08:38 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'm sure kids die equally in home and at daycare
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/...in557156.shtml

In a study of 1,916 SIDS cases in 11 states, researchers found that about 20 percent, 391 deaths, occurred in daycare settings.

Sixty percent of the daycare deaths occurred in home daycare, which tend to be unlicensed and run by older women with less access to pediatricians and others who promote SIDS risk reduction efforts, said Dr. Rachel Moon, the lead author. She is a pediatrician at Children's National Medical Center in Washington.

Her data on SIDS deaths from January 1995 to June 1997 appear in the August issue of Pediatrics, published Monday by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Especially disturbing, Moon said, was the finding that of children placed on their stomachs by caretakers, more than half were usually put to sleep on their backs by their parents.

Previous research has shown that compared with babies who always sleep on their backs, back sleepers switched to their stomachs are 20 times more likely to die of SIDS and habitual stomach sleepers are about five times more likely, Moon said.

Moon and others theorize that habitual back-sleepers are more vulnerable because they don't develop upper body strength as early as stomach sleepers, who have to lift their heads or arms to see what's around them.
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nannyde 08:39 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.
Cathearder can you tell me what the age of the baby, the setting (home or center), and if they did back to sleep?
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momma2girls 09:37 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
my hours are 8-4.....I am only open for school days and teacher work days.
Reading the previous posts, I feel so sorry for the kids whose parents bring them to dc on days off rather than spend that time with them. I really can't imagine having kids if I didn't want to raise them up myself!!
My teachers that I have, barely get here by 4:30 everyday!
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momma2girls 09:39 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I thought the same thing, then my son died of sids in daycare. I don't think that anymore.
I am so so sorry for you and your loss!! How awful!!
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legomom922 09:53 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I am so so sorry for you and your loss!! How awful!!
So sorry....

My son died at birth for a short while..however was brought back by some wonderful Drs..after that, I changed my way of thinking. The fulltime I was supposed to go back to? Ha! NOT! I decided to to do parttime nights instead, and I do not regret it whatsoever. I got to see all of his firsts, and I was there for him every single day, and still am now even though he will be 15 soon. I went on all of his field trips, and volunteered in his classrooms, had lunch with him at school. I did what I had to do to spend the most quality time with my son. everything else was put on hold. I learned to live within my means. No new car, no new clothes, BUT my son had everything. He was my priority. I remember needing a purse sooo badly, but instead of buying one for myself, I stapled it instead, and my son got a toy with the money I would have used on a purse. IMO, its a matter of priorities, and what you value more. Money means nothing to me, but time with my son, meant the world...especially since it was time I almost lost...
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QualiTcare 10:01 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'm sure kids die equally in home and at daycare of SIDS but I'm getting the message from catherder that it is the loss of the time she could have had with him that she is referring to. I think we all bank on having enough time later rather than realizing that time should be spent today and NEVER banked until later. If I had been in catherders position, I would have added possible loss of limited time to my? "con list" IMMEDIATELY when faced with that decision again.

So sorry for your loss catherder. That is one situation NO parent should ever have to deal with.
yeah, but the point is being turned into an entirely different "what if" topic. everyone banks on having time later. otherwise, we'd never leave the house because "what if" we were to be hit by a car and our children would be left without a parent?

i chose to use daycare full time instead of part time, banking on the prospect that the rest of our lives would be better for it. it worked out as i planned. if i had to do it over, i wouldn't change anything.
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Live and Learn 10:07 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
My teachers that I have, barely get here by 4:30 everyday!
Our property touches one school yard, is 1 block from another, 1 mile from 2 others, and 2 miles from another....TEACHER CENTRAL! And no commute time!
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Blackcat31 10:07 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
yeah, but the point is being turned into an entirely different "what if" topic. everyone banks on having time later. otherwise, we'd never leave the house because "what if" we were to be hit by a car and our children would be left without a parent?

i chose to use daycare full time instead of part time, banking on the prospect that the rest of our lives would be better for it. it worked out as i planned. if i had to do it over, i wouldn't change anything.
You are right...we can't live in "what if...."
But, had I personally gone through what catherder did and was faced with the decision to stay or go a second time, I would think differently, but since most of us haven't had to choose a second time, I can see where you are coming from...we can't live in the "what if" or we wouldn't leave the house....ever. Point taken.
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QualiTcare 10:10 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
My teachers that I have, barely get here by 4:30 everyday!
i RARELY left school before 4:00 - it was usually later and that was only because i could take things home to work on.
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Cat Herder 12:08 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
yeah, but the point is being turned into an entirely different "what if" topic. everyone banks on having time later. otherwise, we'd never leave the house because "what if" we were to be hit by a car and our children would be left without a parent?

i chose to use daycare full time instead of part time, banking on the prospect that the rest of our lives would be better for it. it worked out as i planned. if i had to do it over, i wouldn't change anything.
Glad your choice worked out for you, mine did not. Again, that is not my opinion. I was not debating it with you just stating a fact.

Geeze, did I date someones husband back in high school on this forum or something??? Feels like everything is a debate, attack.....or argument.

Thank you everyone else that understood my point. Everyone has to make the decision that makes the most sense to them, individually. It really comes down to what is most important to you.


Nan,
He was 5 1/2 months old, was in a home daycare, 3/1 provider ratio, and slept in a standard crib. He was able to roll over, get on his hands/knees and rock back and forth. Sleep position was not involved.
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dEHmom 12:16 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Geeze, did I date someones husband back in high school on this forum or something??? Feels like everything is a debate, attack.....or argument.

Agreed!

Everyone has to make the decision that makes the most sense to them, individually. It really comes down to what is most important to you.

Agreed!

He was 5 1/2 months old, was in a home daycare, 3/1 provider ratio, and slept in a standard crib. He was able to roll over, get on his hands/knees and rock back and forth. Sleep position was not involved.
So sorry to hear that Catherder, Sorry if I missed it, but how long ago was that? And I'm not trying to be nosy, or anything like that but also, was there smoking in the house?
Something just doesn't seemto add up to me if he was able to do all that.
A friend of mine, her friend had a baby that was 18 mths old, he died in his sleep. Apparently it was a seizure. Is SIDS also instances where maybe high fevers go unnoticed and seizures happen? Or similar?
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Cat Herder 12:21 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
So sorry to hear that Catherder, Sorry if I missed it, but how long ago was that? And I'm not trying to be nosy, or anything like that but also, was there smoking in the house?
Something just doesn't seemto add up to me if he was able to do all that.
A friend of mine, her friend had a baby that was 18 mths old, he died in his sleep. Apparently it was a seizure. Is SIDS also instances where maybe high fevers go unnoticed and seizures happen? Or similar?
No, believe me no stone was unturned. Without too many details, my family is well connected medically/legally and there was no foul play OR unknown medical issue.

Thank you, though, sincerely for your concern. Those were my (and my whole family's) exact thoughts and fears at the time.

I am moving on to another subject, though, since this one obviously is a difficult one for me.
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