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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Only Children Trend ?
blandino 10:47 AM 09-28-2013
Has anyone noticed a trend of more and more only children ?
Growing up, I knew maybe 5 kids who were only children, it was very unusual. Now I have met many people who have 1 child and intend on keeping it that way.
It could very well be the economy, or that I am dealing with working parents who have to figure the expense of childcare for multiple children. But it just seems like there are so many more only children now.
Growing up, I knew maybe 5 kids who were only children, it was very unusual. Now I have met many people who have 1 child and intend on keeping it that way.
It could very well be the economy, or that I am dealing with working parents who have to figure the expense of childcare for multiple children. But it just seems like there are so many more only children now.
Size18 10:54 AM 09-28-2013
Absolutely... Changing times (today) as compared to way back when... when two's, three's, and four's, where common numbers.
Never once babysat for an only child family in all the years I sat.
Never once babysat for an only child family in all the years I sat.
craftymissbeth 10:55 AM 09-28-2013
We are an only child household. Initially, it was health issues on my end that kept us from having another, but now we have come to accept that we may only have one. It definitely is always on our minds, but we feel that (for us) it would be selfish to have another when there are other children out there who need a family. We would love to adopt one day.
Rubysmom 11:07 AM 09-28-2013
I got married at 35 and I was 38 before I had my one and only. I suspect with people marrying later and others delaying having kids, one is becoming fairly common. I also have clients who feel one is enough financially and time wise to handle.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:48 AM 09-28-2013
It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
Two is the new four and one is the new two.
I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.
Two is the new four and one is the new two.
I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.
WImom 01:46 PM 09-28-2013
Yep, most of my kids are only children or they have siblings a lot older (they are 3y or 4y and their siblings are 10-13 years old)
MissAnn 02:01 PM 09-28-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
Two is the new four and one is the new two.
I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.
We also have one we adopted and one biological. We thought we were done when my son came along.It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
Two is the new four and one is the new two.
I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.
AcornMama 02:38 PM 09-28-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
This is why I've been saying for a while that I need to get a t-shirt made that says:It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"
"Yes, they're all mine.
Yes, I know what causes this.
Thanks, but I already have a tv in my bedroom.
No, I'm not superwoman."
And the likes.
In response to "Don't you know what causes that?" my dh likes to put on a big goofy grin and say, "Absolutely!"
DaisyMamma 04:36 PM 09-28-2013
I see it around here more too. Although most people have two.
There are so few kids that we closed one of our schools. Two home daycares closed in the last year or two as well.
There are so few kids that we closed one of our schools. Two home daycares closed in the last year or two as well.
Laurel 05:46 PM 09-28-2013
I think fewer stay at home moms is part of the issue. It is easier to have more children if one parent can stay home.
Also, I see far fewer nuclear families. I mean families where mom and dad are married and have their biological children. I have had so many parents over the years who are raising a child in the same home but not married, a second marriage with biological and step children, parents who are separated or were never married and child goes back and forth, etc.
Of the 3 families in my daycare I have one single mom, one mom on second marriage with one biological child and one step child, one child with parents living together but not married.
With more mom's working outside the home and the social structure of 'families' changing it seems to make sense that they would have less children.
Laurel
Also, I see far fewer nuclear families. I mean families where mom and dad are married and have their biological children. I have had so many parents over the years who are raising a child in the same home but not married, a second marriage with biological and step children, parents who are separated or were never married and child goes back and forth, etc.
Of the 3 families in my daycare I have one single mom, one mom on second marriage with one biological child and one step child, one child with parents living together but not married.
With more mom's working outside the home and the social structure of 'families' changing it seems to make sense that they would have less children.
Laurel
MBF 06:06 PM 09-28-2013
the parents of my little ones are all in their late 30's , so some are debating, but a couple have already decided they are done with one!
daycarediva 06:56 PM 09-28-2013
Late in life babies, career driven women, cost of childcare, relationships not lasting long enough for there to be the consideration of siblings. Lots of factors, lots of onlies.
3 of my daycare kids have parents that are married.
2 have divorced parents.
1 has parents that were never together.
2 have absentee Dads/no father involved.
All but two are only children. 1 is one of my married daycare parents who timed #2 to arriive when #1 starts school, the other is single mom with two kida by two dads
I grew up in a predominately catholic area--everyone was irish, italian or latino. The family across the street had 7 children, my bff from babyhood is 1 of 6. It is still a trend here, too.
3 of my daycare kids have parents that are married.
2 have divorced parents.
1 has parents that were never together.
2 have absentee Dads/no father involved.
All but two are only children. 1 is one of my married daycare parents who timed #2 to arriive when #1 starts school, the other is single mom with two kida by two dads
I grew up in a predominately catholic area--everyone was irish, italian or latino. The family across the street had 7 children, my bff from babyhood is 1 of 6. It is still a trend here, too.
littlemissmuffet 10:35 PM 09-28-2013
Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant
It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!
We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant
It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
Margarete 11:01 PM 09-28-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
I'm not sure if you are currently doing child care, but I don't know how any child growing up in a family child care home, or to a mom knowledgeable in the field (as you will make sure she has interactions with other children) could grow up lonely. Spoiled though is a relative term, I'm sure there are people who think we spoil our daughter, and others who think we are depriving her in some way or another.I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
daycarediva 05:50 AM 09-29-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!
We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
That's just ridiculous of someone to even say. Why do people think they have any right to say ANYTHING in regards to how someone chooses to plan their family. Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant
It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
I have 4 kids, and dividing time+money between them IS a challenge and any mom with 2+ would agree with me, if they are being honest. Kudos to you for making the right decision for YOUR family. I wouldn't trade my 4 for anything in the world, and it's the right decision for MY family.
Originally Posted by Margarete:
I'm not sure if you are currently doing child care, but I don't know how any child growing up in a family child care home, or to a mom knowledgeable in the field (as you will make sure she has interactions with other children) could grow up lonely. Spoiled though is a relative term, I'm sure there are people who think we spoil our daughter, and others who think we are depriving her in some way or another.
I'm not sure if you are currently doing child care, but I don't know how any child growing up in a family child care home, or to a mom knowledgeable in the field (as you will make sure she has interactions with other children) could grow up lonely. Spoiled though is a relative term, I'm sure there are people who think we spoil our daughter, and others who think we are depriving her in some way or another.
littlemissmuffet 10:37 AM 09-29-2013
Margarete, I absolutely am currently doing childcare and likely will until our daughter is in school (what level, I'm still not sure of). She has built in friends!!! She also has three cousins she is very close to and sees on a very regular basis - they are like her siblings.
Daycarediva, isn't it outrageous. You are entirely correct, everyone needs to plan and do what works best for their family. You enjoy and can handle having 4 children - we KNOW we would not - so you and I have two completely different families but are both happy. My sister has three children and though she admits it can be so much harder than having one at times she of course would never change a thing!
Daycarediva, isn't it outrageous. You are entirely correct, everyone needs to plan and do what works best for their family. You enjoy and can handle having 4 children - we KNOW we would not - so you and I have two completely different families but are both happy. My sister has three children and though she admits it can be so much harder than having one at times she of course would never change a thing!
Leigh 11:12 AM 09-29-2013
Maybe it has to do with where you live. I have been seeing more and more early marriages and larger families (4+ kids). There are many families in my area with more than 10 kids! There are several large religious communities within a 40 mile radius of me, and they have large families, but I see it with lots of people these days. My own generation (40-ish), I have seen lots of 1-2 kid families, but also plenty with 4 or 5.
Starburst 02:08 PM 09-29-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
Most kids now are spoiled, even if they aren't only kids- it's the parenting style, not how much children there are! I know a 2 year old who has his own iPad (I am 22 and I don't even have an iPad- I barely have an iPhone only because my cousin upgraded and gave me her old phone), he also has a baby sister. And his mom still wants another one (SAHM).I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
Pretty much everything has to do with how they were raised, that's why when ever people get on the band wagon and say "oh, violent video games, R-rated movies and explicit music is to blame for the deterioration of this generation" I think "Really? Who is the one buying these for the children? When do the parents or even the individuals take responsibility for their choices". I grew up watching violent movies and listing to rap and rock but I never drank, did drugs, or tried to harm anyone.
Sorry I am rambling but I just hate when people make assumptions based on old wives tales when the truth is most things very from family to family and even person to person.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:38 AM 09-30-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!
We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
I LOVE beautiful nurseries! I would love to see some pictures of it if you are ever comfortable sharing (either on a thread or via PM). Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.
I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.
I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant
It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her!
I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.
As for being spoiled ... people think everything spoils a child it seems. LOL! My 1 month old daughter does not cry it out EVER and won't be and I get told all the time that she "rules the roost" by people. She is one month old ... seriously. There is also a difference between being spoiled and spoiled rotten, in my opinion.
countrymom 06:28 AM 09-30-2013
I also think its where you live because its so rare anyone has 1 child here, the more norm now is 4 kids or more. Oh, in my town there are so many that have 4 kids or more that we joke about not drinking the water, thats what you get for living in the country lol!
Unregistered 01:32 PM 09-30-2013
The overpopulation and the reducing natural resources of our world points to this becoming a painful but maybe necessary trend. And if you look at worldwide statistics, developed countries are fairly stable population wise, but third world countries have populations that are skyrocketing.
Unregistered 04:31 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I LOVE beautiful nurseries! I would love to see some pictures of it if you are ever comfortable sharing (either on a thread or via PM).
As for being spoiled ... people think everything spoils a child it seems. LOL! My 1 month old daughter does not cry it out EVER and won't be and I get told all the time that she "rules the roost" by people.
Those are obviously people who know nothing about the latest infant/child care research. Most Nurses and ECE experts now are advising against CIO (my local news station has local commercials raising awareness about it) and insist that you cannot spoil an infant by showing them affection. They are still in Erikson's stage of trust vs. mistrust- and dependability is a big trust factor! I LOVE beautiful nurseries! I would love to see some pictures of it if you are ever comfortable sharing (either on a thread or via PM).
As for being spoiled ... people think everything spoils a child it seems. LOL! My 1 month old daughter does not cry it out EVER and won't be and I get told all the time that she "rules the roost" by people.
Lol, Yesterday I was watching that episode of Reba when she was trying to get Cheyenne and Van to do CIO for the baby and told her that's what she did when Cheyenne was a baby and she said "what? I was just a baby! I only wanted my mommy!" And Van said "Did you think it was funny?! is it some kinda sick game" Lol
Bookworm 07:32 PM 10-02-2013
I've had Church Ladies ask when I will give my mom another child. I said never.(medical issues). One of them told me that I was selfish and children are a gift from God. My response was only for the wanted ones. No one should have to defend their opinions on something so personal.
Candy 09:14 AM 10-03-2013
Yes especially among the wealthy. I have no idea why but many of kids that i meet that are only chldren have serious behavior issues. Not all but some. I never wanted just one child I don't think it would fit me very well. Although one thing that drives me nuts is when these business women wait til they are in their mid 30's or early 40's to have kids then get mad because it takes so long. Like duh you didn't see this coming.