Okay so idk how to explain this but I'm freaking out. So I've been at my new job for a little over a month and yesterday I got annoyed at a teacher and it was all over my face because I lost my voice so I couldn't really speak. Okay so I work with like a 60 y/o assistant teacher and a lead teacher. They both kinda suck. The lead teacher had to leave early and the assistant leaves at 3. 3:30 is around the time our class goes into the other room for aftercare so we were gonna put them in (only 4 kids yesterday because of the holiday) the other room earlier.



Anyways. These ladies love to restrict the kids and keep them in the chairs or buggies for most of the days. As soon as they woke up from their nap she put them in the buggy one by one and left me out in the hall with them. I was so annoyed because she didn't do diapers and I wanted them cleaned and in their chairs for snack not in the ****ing buggy. So she decides to whip out a yogurt for one of the kids (they are the younger one year olds so about 12-20 months old) and one of the babies started screaming/crying because she wanted the yogurt. It wasn't her yogurt

Then she goes back inside leaving me out in the hall with a yogurt in my hand and a kid crying. Another teacher walks out and sees this and I'm so ****ing annoyed that it's written on my face. It looked like I was annoyed at the crying kid but I was annoyed at the lady. two minutes later she brings out snacks for the other kids and asked me why I didn't start feeding Tomas.

Because ! all the other kids are hungry ! I'm not gonna feed him his yogurt, in the buggy in front of the crying kid and the others. I'm super worried the teacher is going to tell the director I was annoyed at a baby for crying and that they will fire me because i'm still in my 90 days. idk. I know I need to work on my facial expressions and not be so obvious with my feelings. Idk

Reply

I am sooo confused. Why were children being fed snack in a buggy in the hallway? Is that SOP at your center? Why were they in the buggy at all? Why weren't their diapers changed after nap? There is so much wrong here, "annoyed facial expressions" doesn't even rate. If the director says anything I would bring up your concerns and ask if what has been happening in the room is what is supposed to happen.
I have the same age room at my center, and I would NEVER put my kids in the buggy to feed them snack. The buggy is for walks outside, mostly used by the infant room. My kids eat at the table. Their diapers are changed after nap and definitely before anyone is moved to a new room. We have NO confining equipment in my room whatsoever. It's used only sparingly in the infant room.
Honestly, I wouldn't be concerned about getting fired. I would be concerned about finding a new job at a center that doesn't have so many developmentally inappropriate practices.

Reply

what did you do while she "put them in the buggy one by one and left me out in the hall with them"?

Reply

I still don't understand. You can't or don't want or don't allowed to touch kids/change their diapers/put them in their chairs/express your wishes by talking?

By your description I see, that 60yo woman was working with kids (not good, but was working). You were not happy with that but didn't do anything to comfort kids/clean kids/put kids in safe sits.... Is it so?

Reply

OP, I get why - as an employee of less than a month - you wouldn’t be confrontational to your co-workers. This PP seems to be taking you to task .....from behind an UNREGISTERED mask.... for not speaking out face to face. No irony there.
I agree with Blue Moon. Your facial expressions were the least of the issues (but should be reigned in; kids pick up on so much). If you don’t want to confront your more experienced co-workers about issues, you still need to be the kids’ advocate. Until you gain confidence, perhaps frame it as “learning questions” - “so why do we put them here before changing diapers? I was taught timely diaper changes avoid rash?” “Why don’t we teach them to eat at the table? Doesn’t this impact their development?” Direct advocacy is generally better, but as you mature and gain confidence, a well-phrased question can start the same conversation, if that’s easier for you right now.

Reply

I was many time a new employee. Yes, it can be uncomfortable with some co-workers. But if they didn't change diapers on kids, I did it. If they put kids in unsafe places, I moved kids away from there.
Feeling uncomfortable with your co-workers can not be an excuse for not being a kids advocate.

Reply

I think you should feel comfortable enough and confident enough to take charge when you want something done. Or at least voice your opinion. It is so hard to be the “new kid”, you get no respect, you are working with people who have no souls left and are just going through the motions (I have been there). Just remain confident in yourself and your abilities and do your thing. This job will get infinitely worse for you and start affecting your mental health if you don’t speak up. You don’t have to be rude or mean just simply ask “oh you guys don’t change diapers first? When do you do that”? Or “do you always feed them in buggy’s because I don’t feel it is safe. I am going to go ahead and bring them to the table”.

I was a new hire at a centre and there was a little girl who puked on her cot at nap time. The other ladies did nothing. I asked “she just puked, should I clean it up or do you guys have a cleaner”? The lady with no soul said “she pukes every day at nap to get attention, we just ignore her”. Shocked I said “You cannot leave a child sitting in their own vomit to teach them some sort of lesson..”. And I went and got the kid up, changed her, cleaned up the vomit and got her a new bed. They just watched me. I spoke up many times. At the end of the month I got a better paying job somewhere else and the director offered me a huge raise to stay. I left, but just know that not everyone is annoyed by people who speak up and do what is right.

Reply

Not everyone has the tools in their box to do this, especially right away in the workforce. And especially these days. I’ve been hiring manager for twelve years now and the applicants for this job cover a huge range of abilities. Bully for you that you know the right thing to do and the right way to do it. The OP is struggling and needs those tools to do what she clearly has the instinct to know is right. Help, and not accusations, will go much further.

Reply

I didn't accuse her. I asked her a few questions just to be able to see the situation clearly. From her post, I understood that her biggest concern is that her co-worker will report her to the director. I also see that she accusations her other co-workers. I didn't see what she did during that evening.

Reply

I work in a center, and I think you are worrying about nothing. I have worked with many different teachers, and you are not the first to look annoyed, even if the other teacher thinks it was at the crying child. If your director asks, tell her what happened and why you were annoyed, but I doubt you will be questioned. As long as you are a good employee and no other complaints against you you will be fine!

Reply

I understand not being comfortable with confrontation. Maybe just step in and start changing diapers yourself as they get up from nap. Surely they can’t object to someone willing to do the diapers!

Reply