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Old 11-14-2017, 09:56 AM
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Default Lies Parents Tell

I'm registered but posting as a guest so the parent doesn't see this. I had an infant out sick yesterday. His mom took him to the doctor and the doctor said it's a bad cold. I already suspected a cold last week but dcm swore it was allergies. Today at drop off I remind her that he can be here with a cold so long as he doesn't run a fever. She then proceeded to say that the doctor says that this particular cold isn't the contagious kind and that he can come to daycare. What the heck is a non-contagious cold???? Why do parents feel the need to lie to us and can't they at least try and make it believeable?
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:00 AM
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The dr may very well have said he can come to daycare, but the fact that he's not contagious? I mean, it's a virus, sooooo....
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:13 AM
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Or he may have told her that baby is past the most contagious period, which is the first 3 or so days of a virus. They are still contagious after that, but the viral load is usually less at that point.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I'm registered but posting as a guest so the parent doesn't see this. I had an infant out sick yesterday. His mom took him to the doctor and the doctor said it's a bad cold. I already suspected a cold last week but dcm swore it was allergies. Today at drop off I remind her that he can be here with a cold so long as he doesn't run a fever. She then proceeded to say that the doctor says that this particular cold isn't the contagious kind and that he can come to daycare. What the heck is a non-contagious cold???? Why do parents feel the need to lie to us and can't they at least try and make it believeable?
I would just explain that it doesn't matter what the Dr said or didn't say. YOU have policies in place that she agreed to.

I would simply counter her statement with something along those lines.

Its too stressful and bothersome to worry about the lies parents try to slip by us or worse the silly things Drs will say.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:21 AM
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Argh when drs say they can come to day care 😡😡😡 well hey mr dr this is my house, my business, how about you let the child at your house all day whilst sick around your children and family ???

Sorry it just annoys me!! Hope your dck isnít too sick and hasnít passed it on x
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:51 AM
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Oh I made sure to tell her that it's wonderful the doctor said he could come back but then reiterated MY policy and said that is what I go by. I ignored the fact that she was blatantly lying about it being a non contagious cold. If colds weren't contagious they wouldn't spread so easily and quickly. Viruses spread. Always.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:24 AM
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I had a mom say it was just allergies in they eyes.....funny, every one of us ended up with pinkeye and I had it for Christmas.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:36 AM
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Oh we could start a thread on the lies parents tell. And I'm pretty sure we have before.

*Dck is just tired (doped up on Tylenol because they have a fever and dcm wants to work at least a half day)

*Dck has a tummy ache (s/he threw up)

*Dck has been using the potty! S/he's in underwear! (Dck used it once, now it's your problem because I don't really want to toilet train)

*Dck may be tired today (dck was up all night)

*Can I pay you next week? (I have a vacation coming up/I just spent money on Christmas presents/insert ridiculous excuse here while I drive a $40K car and have a $800 phone and go out to eat and drink all the time)

But to be fair I play the same game.

Me: Dck was sassy today (Dck was kind of awful)

Me: Dck was a picky eater today (Dck didn't touch his/her food)

Me: Dck wasn't interested in our craft today (Dck screamed "NO!" when I asked him/her to come over and try a craft, and I wasn't going to force it.

Me: I'm sorry you are having money issues. I also have bills that need to be paid (Not really, but I don't run a charity).

So...I guess I'm equally as guilty. I just try to frame things in the best possible light, and I think parents do that, too. The only unacceptable is the dose & drop. And the 2 times that has been done, the parents have regretted it.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
She then proceeded to say that the doctor says that this particular cold isn't the contagious kind
How in the world did you keep a straight face? I would have busted out laughing at that.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
Oh we could start a thread on the lies parents tell. And I'm pretty sure we have before.

*Dck is just tired (doped up on Tylenol because they have a fever and dcm wants to work at least a half day)

*Dck has a tummy ache (s/he threw up)

*Dck has been using the potty! S/he's in underwear! (Dck used it once, now it's your problem because I don't really want to toilet train)

*Dck may be tired today (dck was up all night)

*Can I pay you next week? (I have a vacation coming up/I just spent money on Christmas presents/insert ridiculous excuse here while I drive a $40K car and have a $800 phone and go out to eat and drink all the time)

But to be fair I play the same game.

Me: Dck was sassy today (Dck was kind of awful)

Me: Dck was a picky eater today (Dck didn't touch his/her food)

Me: Dck wasn't interested in our craft today (Dck screamed "NO!" when I asked him/her to come over and try a craft, and I wasn't going to force it.

Me: I'm sorry you are having money issues. I also have bills that need to be paid (Not really, but I don't run a charity).

So...I guess I'm equally as guilty. I just try to frame things in the best possible light, and I think parents do that, too. The only unacceptable is the dose & drop. And the 2 times that has been done, the parents have regretted it.
You forgot he's teething, is why his fever is 102. Or She doesn't do that at home.

I totally agree about the white lies we tell. I try not to be negative about their kids day
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
Oh we could start a thread on the lies parents tell. And I'm pretty sure we have before.

*Dck is just tired (doped up on Tylenol because they have a fever and dcm wants to work at least a half day)

*Dck has a tummy ache (s/he threw up)

*Dck has been using the potty! S/he's in underwear! (Dck used it once, now it's your problem because I don't really want to toilet train)

*Dck may be tired today (dck was up all night)

*Can I pay you next week? (I have a vacation coming up/I just spent money on Christmas presents/insert ridiculous excuse here while I drive a $40K car and have a $800 phone and go out to eat and drink all the time)

But to be fair I play the same game.

Me: Dck was sassy today (Dck was kind of awful)

Me: Dck was a picky eater today (Dck didn't touch his/her food)

Me: Dck wasn't interested in our craft today (Dck screamed "NO!" when I asked him/her to come over and try a craft, and I wasn't going to force it.

Me: I'm sorry you are having money issues. I also have bills that need to be paid (Not really, but I don't run a charity).

So...I guess I'm equally as guilty. I just try to frame things in the best possible light, and I think parents do that, too. The only unacceptable is the dose & drop. And the 2 times that has been done, the parents have regretted it.
Nooo, you are not the same. I didn't read anything untrue about what you said. Choosing diplomatic wording to communicate a real problem is different than deceiving someone so that they can dump their problems on you.

Fraud Triangle:
1. Opportunity
2. Under Pressure
3. Rationalization.

DC Parent:
1. Opportunity: Providers have poor policies or human fallibility of not knowing what's really going on.
2. Pressure to work, earn money, desire for ease
3. Rationalization: Doctor said it was okay, I'm paying daycare anyway etc

We need to try to reduce their opportunity by having good policies.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
Nooo, you are not the same. I didn't read anything untrue about what you said. Choosing diplomatic wording to communicate a real problem is different than deceiving someone so that they can dump their problems on you.

Fraud Triangle:
1. Opportunity
2. Under Pressure
3. Rationalization.

DC Parent:
1. Opportunity: Providers have poor policies or human fallibility of not knowing what's really going on.
2. Pressure to work, earn money, desire for ease
3. Rationalization: Doctor said it was okay, I'm paying daycare anyway etc

We need to try to reduce their opportunity by having good policies.
True. I do think I'm not very honest sometimes when, for example, a dck has a difficult day. I sugar coat with plenty of Splenda. But it is different than trying to drop a sick kid off and pass it as a "insert insane thing here".

I still feel guilty because my really tough dcb that left for preschool was so hard on me. I just gave up telling the dcf about his day. I resorted to, "He was great, his day was great." Little dude about killed me, day in and day out.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:59 PM
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For me on colds, my policies say that the child can attend at the very end of a cold. I have a personal rule of thumb that isn't in my policies that says that if I have to wipe their noses more often than every 30 minutes, they might be not well enough.

But it's all I can do to not roll my eyes when I hear teething or "allergies." Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. But allergies don't show up for one week and then disappear. They are consistent.

I have a "body fluid" fee, which helps my personal feelings a lot. If I have to change a child's clothing or clean my house due to a body fluid problem (blood, vomit, or underwear accident) then I charge $20. Although when one child (at 3.5 and 4 years of age) was having a poop paint issue, $40 would have been closer to how crummy it really felt to clean it all up. It was bad.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post

So...I guess I'm equally as guilty.
The difference in most of what we are told and what we tell others is that what parents tell us places responsibility on us whereas anything we say/re-frame isn't putting any responsibility onto the parent to manage.

The root and the result are what I focus on.
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Old 11-14-2017, 08:59 PM
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How in the world did you keep a straight face? I would have busted out laughing at that.
I have no idea! It had to have been obvious on my face even though I didn't comment on how that wasn't possible.
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:07 PM
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Just found out the same parent lied about having to work next Wednesday. I am open that day and never even asked her about working or if DCB was coming because it makes zero difference to me. She was complaining about working day before thanksgiving and how she'd have to bring him to me that day. Then tonight, in a random way (she works for someone I know) I found out that her office is closed that day. If I wasn't asking her not to bring dcb then why in the world does she feel the need to voluntarily lie about having to bring him because she has to work? The cost is the same whether she brings him or not so it makes no difference to me.
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:12 PM
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But it's all I can do to not roll my eyes when I hear teething or "allergies." Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. But allergies don't show up for one week and then disappear.

I do suspect that this child has allergies but this wasn't allergies. This was a super runny nose, coughing and chest congestion and fussiness.
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:24 PM
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- They must have pooped in the car (every morning? I doubt it)

- He wouldn't take his bottle when he woke up (DCD was running behind so he brought me a starving, screaming baby)

- I left the diapers at home, again (probably haven't even bought them yet)

- I only work 3 days a week so I'll be keeping her home some ( DCK is almost always here and DCM doesn't even pick her up early)

- he's teething (you hold him 24/7 so he cries here when he's put down)

-he refuses to nap at home (you have no routine so your 7 month old is constantly overtired)

Most of these are from the same parent and they happen way too frequently
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