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Old 03-17-2016, 07:08 PM
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Default The Parent That Always Complains About Money...

How, if at all do you answer this? I have a parent where this is starting to get on my nerves. Its usually just little comments that get thrown in conversation. I sometimes ignore it and other times I throw in my own money woes (nothing real personal, just stuff like "Imagine having to feed a family of 5") but I don't like getting personal either. She knows she pays $5/day less than my other families already so I get super annoyed when she complains about it.

And she's a teacher who can tutor a student for one hour and make what she pays me for an eight hour day!!
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:30 PM
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I wish I knew how to answer this question. It's the same as the "i wish i could stay home like you all day with my little one". There is no way to answer this that will please them. I bite my tongue and give an sympathetic smile. Then vent here. Lol.
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:43 PM
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I wish I knew how to answer this question. It's the same as the "i wish i could stay home like you all day with my little one". There is no way to answer this that will please them. I bite my tongue and give an sympathetic smile. Then vent here. Lol.
"I can mentor you!!"
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:46 PM
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I know how you feel. But each family has to decide what's worth spending on. Like you dive a new car (get nails done, have hair done, take vacations, etc) and we choose to xyz
It's all about priorities.
Then smile.
Big.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
How, if at all do you answer this? I have a parent where this is starting to get on my nerves. Its usually just little comments that get thrown in conversation. I sometimes ignore it and other times I throw in my own money woes (nothing real personal, just stuff like "Imagine having to feed a family of 5") but I don't like getting personal either. She knows she pays $5/day less than my other families already so I get super annoyed when she complains about it.

And she's a teacher who can tutor a student for one hour and make what she pays me for an eight hour day!!
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:48 PM
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"I can mentor you!!"
Please do....i need it!
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
How, if at all do you answer this? I have a parent where this is starting to get on my nerves. Its usually just little comments that get thrown in conversation. I sometimes ignore it and other times I throw in my own money woes (nothing real personal, just stuff like "Imagine having to feed a family of 5") but I don't like getting personal either. She knows she pays $5/day less than my other families already so I get super annoyed when she complains about it.

And she's a teacher who can tutor a student for one hour and make what she pays me for an eight hour day!!
"Dcm, do you need help with your budget? I'd be happy to sit down with you and help you figure things out."
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Old 03-17-2016, 09:32 PM
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I usually agree with an "Oh, I hear you!" to let them know that we're in the same boat.
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Old 03-17-2016, 09:57 PM
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I often say things like, "Yeah, I know, it's rough out there" and sometimes then go with the, "As a single mom myself, I have to watch every penny." Or something like, " Ha! You think she's expensive now, just wait until she's a teenager!" I usually say that when they fuss over the price of diapers, baby food, and daycare prices.

Sometimes, if I truly believe that the parent is honestly struggling, I will try to dig a little deeper to find out the cause of the person's financial problems and sometimes I have provided daycare for a low rate or free for a short time period to help a parent out. But that's if I really believe that the parent is doing everything they can on their own first.

In your parent's case, have you asked your parent if they offer tutoring or suggested it as a way for them to make extra money? Or suggested another job as a part-time evening/weekend job for them?
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Old 03-18-2016, 03:34 AM
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Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
I know how you feel. But each family has to decide what's worth spending on. Like you dive a new car (get nails done, have hair done, take vacations, etc) and we choose to xyz
It's all about priorities.
Then smile.
Big.
This is usually the only time it bugs me. When they're spending 2 weeks going to Disney World, or have the newest electronics for all the kids or have the latest expensive cars. YKWIM Why do they think it's okay to complain about child care costs when they afford all the latest and greatest.

My tax preparer and I actually got into a conversation about a topic similar to this. People have a need for more materialistic things than when he and I were growing up, we make more money, yet we complain more about not making enough. A whole different lifestyle than the 50's and 60's.
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Old 03-18-2016, 06:49 AM
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Please do....i need it!
I actually mean to say that to mom. Suggesting if daycare was too expensive then she could start her own and find out just how little money we keep as income. Lol
But if you need help THIS BOARD And all of the wonderful supportive people on it is the best place to com.
We all do our best to mentor and support each other.
Just ask.
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Old 03-18-2016, 07:27 AM
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I've had two different parents ask in a roundabout way for FREE daycare for their school agers. Both moms were ones who drove new cars, regularly got hair/nails done, and lived in very nice, new homes.

One asked if her ds could come "hang out" after school every day. The other one wanted to send her 7-yr-old dd as my "helper" every day in the summer when her younger brother was here. Full time!

Strangely, when I told these moms how much their rate would be, they declined!
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Old 03-18-2016, 07:39 AM
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Years ago I had a dcd that was really getting on my nerves with his complaints about paying for daycare. This family lived very comfortably so I know that it wasn't a real financial burden, he was just a complainer by nature. Finally, one day, I asked him if he had tried looking for cheaper daycare. I said that I understood if he needed to pull his kids from my care to save money, that I would miss them and so would all their friends but, "if you can't afford it, you should find something you can afford". I said it with all sincerity because, for real, I was done with the whining. He pretty much stopped complaining after that.

I might have to do something similar with a new dcd. He makes comments about "needing to keep the gas on", as if he's the only one with bills. And then I see a FB post over the weekend where he took his son and flew out of state for breakfast in his personal plane.
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Old 03-18-2016, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by kidsandchicks View Post
Years ago I had a dcd that was really getting on my nerves with his complaints about paying for daycare. This family lived very comfortably so I know that it wasn't a real financial burden, he was just a complainer by nature. Finally, one day, I asked him if he had tried looking for cheaper daycare. I said that I understood if he needed to pull his kids from my care to save money, that I would miss them and so would all their friends but, "if you can't afford it, you should find something you can afford". I said it with all sincerity because, for real, I was done with the whining. He pretty much stopped complaining after that.

I might have to do something similar with a new dcd. He makes comments about "needing to keep the gas on", as if he's the only one with bills. And then I see a FB post over the weekend where he took his son and flew out of state for breakfast in his personal plane.
Yeh, my heart bleeds for their financial circumstances.
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Old 03-18-2016, 11:29 AM
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A come-back line I've used is: "There are state programs available for low-income families." Like, if you REALLy are low-income, then there's a program for you. If you don't qualify for those programs, then odds are you've just made life-style choices.

Or maybe they don't have skills on how to be economical. I 've thought about having a packet of info ready on "how to cut corners and live frugally" ready. I mean, do they soak dry beans and know how to cook dinner with eggs like I do? Do their kids' clothing come from yard sales like a lot of mine do?

More in depth is that I tell people that if they're having money trouble, they need to talk to family or their church for help. There are a lot of things they can do. I am not a line-of credit. No payo, no stayo.
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Old 03-18-2016, 11:39 AM
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A come-back line I've used is: "There are state programs available for low-income families." Like, if you REALLy are low-income, then there's a program for you. If you don't qualify for those programs, then odds are you've just made life-style choices.

Or maybe they don't have skills on how to be economical. I 've thought about having a packet of info ready on "how to cut corners and live frugally" ready. I mean, do they soak dry beans and know how to cook dinner with eggs like I do? Do their kids' clothing come from yard sales like a lot of mine do?

More in depth is that I tell people that if they're having money trouble, they need to talk to family or their church for help. There are a lot of things they can do. I am not a line-of credit. No payo, no stayo.
He could flush only once a day and separate the plies of toilet paper. I bet that would help!
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Old 03-18-2016, 12:03 PM
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He could flush only once a day and separate the plies of toilet paper. I bet that would help!
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Old 03-18-2016, 07:18 PM
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I always agree with them! I always say "yes daycare is a crazy expense...almost a second mortgage for some families". Mainly because it is and it's not my fault. We are all human trying to make it. Daycare fees are outrageous, I think we can all agree with that and most of us don't even make what we are truly worth!!
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:01 AM
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I always agree with them! I always say "yes daycare is a crazy expense...almost a second mortgage for some families". Mainly because it is and it's not my fault. We are all human trying to make it. Daycare fees are outrageous, I think we can all agree with that and most of us don't even make what we are truly worth!!
And if a couple decides to have child/ren they have the choice to work or stay home with them. Most families can make that work somehow. You might not afford an iphone or a 2nd car or vacations but life is full of trade-offs. And once a child starts school options are more open.
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Old 03-19-2016, 03:37 PM
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I feel very little sympathy for most people. We all have a story, and frankly, I find it funny that parents can't pay the fee but can pay for everything else. What they really mean is that if they pay you, they can't have all their luxuries they are feeling entitled to.
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Old 03-19-2016, 03:59 PM
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I feel very little sympathy for most people. We all have a story, and frankly, I find it funny that parents can't pay the fee but can pay for everything else. What they really mean is that if they pay you, they can't have all their luxuries they are feeling entitled to.
......and since provider's are in this business because they love children, they should be providing care for free
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:26 PM
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......and since provider's are in this business because they love children, they should be providing care for free
That too. Lol
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
How, if at all do you answer this? I have a parent where this is starting to get on my nerves. Its usually just little comments that get thrown in conversation. I sometimes ignore it and other times I throw in my own money woes (nothing real personal, just stuff like "Imagine having to feed a family of 5") but I don't like getting personal either. She knows she pays $5/day less than my other families already so I get super annoyed when she complains about it.

And she's a teacher who can tutor a student for one hour and make what she pays me for an eight hour day!!
You could always offer her a loan. I mean we are all rolling in the dough with this job.

Side note, I just went to the Dollar Tree(LOVE that place)and bought stuff for the dcf's kids' Easter fun here, to the tune of 50 bucks. I don't think parents(for the most part) have a clue what we put into this job; our hard earned money, time, emotions, so much of ourselves not to mention a piece of our heart gets taken too.
To them, they drop their child/ren off, pick them back up at the end of their day. But they're clueless of what we've accomplished getting everyone fed, keeping everyone safe, healthy, happy, entertained, learning, clean(ok, that's only partly true), and with any luck at all, well-rested. Not to mention the off hours when we're shopping for them, trying to plan menus they'll eat, learning new tools of the trade, and activities, trying to follow all the rules and regulations, paying all our dc bills, trying to please every child and parent so all are happy enough to come another day so we don't all go broke. Some days I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, just thinking of all that could go wrong in the blink of an eye. And I am Blessed with awesome parents!

Ok, who stuck this soapbox under my feet?
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:50 PM
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Crazy8, Just rereading my post I think you need to up her rates to the level of everyone else you have!!
Seriously. Does she know she pays $25 less a week?
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Old 03-20-2016, 05:54 PM
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And if a couple decides to have child/ren they have the choice to work or stay home with them. Most families can make that work somehow. You might not afford an iphone or a 2nd car or vacations but life is full of trade-offs. And once a child starts school options are more open.
Exactly! Kids are expensive. I am trading a lot of $$ to be home and running my own home daycare and they are giving me lots of $$ (well not lots ) to go to work and have someone else be with their kids. Either way kids are expensive.
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Old 03-21-2016, 07:19 AM
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Crazy8, Just rereading my post I think you need to up her rates to the level of everyone else you have!!
Seriously. Does she know she pays $25 less a week?
Yes, she knows!! It came up because I was going to charge more for an extra day a week for a few weeks. I told her she has already paid $500 less in fees than other families since she's started that if I am going to work on my day off just for her she is paying the higher rate or can look elsewhere!

She is just the "woe is me" type and I am getting tired of it!
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Old 03-21-2016, 11:22 AM
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Yeah! I can totally relate. I think sometimes parents don't realize what they are actually paying for child care. I think they see the lump sum and think that's a lot of $$.

In recent years I have found it helpful to break it down for them as far as our rate per hour. Just to drive home the issue. I use a tuition worksheet that I give to them at the tour, so they can see how LITTLE they are actually paying.

If you would like a copy of the worksheet, just send me a PM and your email and I would be happy to share.
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Old 03-21-2016, 11:48 AM
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Did you know that states spend between $195 and $555 a week per student in school? And that doesn't even include school supplies, which are a huge personal expense for daycares. I think most daycare parents spend significantly less per week. If we don't charge enough (or offer services for "free"), we go into the negatives with our budgets. And people wonder why extra cheap daycare doesn't last long or quality suffers.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:57 AM
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True Story:

I changed rates last fall and gave the notice to parents at drop off. At pick up, I had one dcm sit in my entryway with a super sullen look on her face. Then she got up, pacing back and forth... I'm sitting there thinking "wth, is she sick or something?", but no, she wasn't. She was contemplating what kind of spin she could put on my rate change to benefit her.

Then she proceeded to say "I just don't know what we're going to do", "I'd hate to have to find another provider", "this just isn't fair to us", "I'd hate to have to leave if we can't find a solution".

Over $3.

Yes, $3 -A WEEK. Less than the Starbucks coffee she totes with her every morning.

This was ultimately the last straw for me and I terminated services for that and other reasons.

In your case, if it's really just money that the parent complains about, I'd put it back on them:
"I understand, and we can date your two week notice today since you're uncomfortable with my fees".
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