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Old 12-12-2019, 08:03 AM
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maelb05 maelb05 is offline
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Default This Made Me Sad

A mom came in at pick up yesterday and her 18 month old was being extremely to say the least. As soon as she picked him up in her arms, he started hitting her. When she sat him down on the stairs to try and get his boots on, he started throwing himself backwards, hitting his head on the stairs and screaming. After about two minutes of this behavior, she said to him "I am so sick of you. Your dad can deal with you tonight!" Oh my goodness! I stood there in shock. You have not seen your child in 9 hours and after two minutes of interaction with him (albeit difficult), you are done for the night?! I could not believe she said that to her child.
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Old 12-12-2019, 08:16 AM
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It's definitely a sad thing to say but it's so common.

Parents don't see their kids for 9 hours a day and they come pick them up excited to see them. Child behaves like you mentioned and the "happy reunion" the parent envisioned is shattered. Thus the comment.

It's not nice but honestly I get it.
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Old 12-12-2019, 08:28 AM
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I think kids act like this at pickup sometimes because their moms are fake about really wanting to see them. Parents can be so busy and career oriented that the child senses that and don't know where they fit in, even at an early age! Just my thoughts on the issue!
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Old 12-12-2019, 09:25 AM
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This scenario is why I hear "They like it here better" so often. It is regularly used to excuse bringing them on parents' vacation weeks, holidays and when they are mild sick.

I get it. Sometimes it just builds up and you need a break.

I have thought "I am so sick of this kid" about 3 times this morning, alone. No, I did not say it, but they have been here open to close all week while mom is only working 4 hours per day right now. Very three, double green nasal discharge, coughing, whiny, moody, mouthy, the works. Sure, they are paying a premium for mild ill care, but I'd rather they just be gone on time for a few days. It's Thursday, I am tired.

Nothing meets the illness policy, though.
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Old 12-12-2019, 09:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
This scenario is why I hear "They like it here better" so often. It is regularly used to excuse bringing them on parents' vacation weeks, holidays and when they are mild sick.

I get it. Sometimes it just builds up and you need a break.

I have thought "I am so sick of this kid" about 3 times this morning, alone. No, I did not say it, but they have been here open to close all week while mom is only working 4 hours per day right now. Very three, double green nasal discharge, coughing, whiny, moody, mouthy, the works. Sure, they are paying a premium for mild ill care, but I'd rather they just be gone on time for a few days. It's Thursday, I am tired.

Nothing meets the illness policy, though.
AMEN! I have dcb1 that is always sickly but no one listens to me but when his older sibling has a scrape they go to the ER. Dcb1 drives me nuts because he whines all the time. He is the "I'm Sorry, mom's kids" He came along during a very unstable marriage situation and it is still unstable and grandparents have the same attitude toward this child. But I can't FIX everything. I have to TELL them when to bring him and not to bring him because they don't act like they even notice him. It is sad but he and I do not jive very well! What he wants, I can't give him. He wants a loving nurturing parent but I can't do everything.
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Old 12-12-2019, 09:40 AM
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Believe me, I know how difficult this child can be because I am with him 9 hours/day, 5 days a week! To think it, is one thing, but to voice it to your child is quite another. I thought to myself, I deal with his difficult behavior all day long and you are done with him after a couple minutes?
Side note: mom is a social worker in a school setting.
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Old 12-12-2019, 09:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maelb05 View Post
Believe me, I know how difficult this child can be because I am with him 9 hours/day, 5 days a week! To think it, is one thing, but to voice it to your child is quite another. I thought to myself, I deal with his difficult behavior all day long and you are done with him after a couple minutes?
Side note: mom is a social worker in a school setting.
She is probably stressed to the max from school issues and can't balance her home responsibilities. But I think we have all been there, or I have anyway???
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Old 12-12-2019, 10:45 AM
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We’re all stressed to the max. Working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms. You can’t win. It doesn’t matter. Have I said something similar in a moment of weakness when dealing with my children. Absolutely. Does it make me feel good? No. I have sincerely apologized and explained that my words are not ok and mommy had a bad moment. My kids aren’t broken because of it. Hopefully she apologized and could use it as a teaching moment. We’re human and not perfect.
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Old 12-12-2019, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Ac114 View Post
We’re all stressed to the max. Working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms. You can’t win. It doesn’t matter. Have I said something similar in a moment of weakness when dealing with my children. Absolutely. Does it make me feel good? No. I have sincerely apologized and explained that my words are not ok and mommy had a bad moment. My kids aren’t broken because of it. Hopefully she apologized and could use it as a teaching moment. We’re human and not perfect.
Yep, yep and yep! Not only with our children but with any loved one. My grandma is staying with us and hasn't progressed as quickly as she would like making her irritable because she can't go home yet. I feel like I am treating her like my daycare kids. I have to be "stern" sometimes. It makes me sad and want to cry like right now when I'm typing this but at another moment I'm angry at her. We are human, and there just needs to be a level of control and I think we all have that. That's why we vent and move on. Apologize and move on. Or whatever is needed.
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Old 12-12-2019, 12:53 PM
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Social worker in a school setting? Sounds like burnout

Emotionally mature parents are those that can leave their own emotions at the door while they meet the emotional needs of their child. She sounds like an emotionally immature person. I am not judging it but that is what that is. Saying something out of anger is normal and having the ability to apologize afterwards goes a long way.
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Old 12-13-2019, 03:14 AM
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"I should've gotten a dog" From one dcm having a hard time handling her ds.
People don't think how one little comment or action can affect their child for years down the road. Or forever. And yes, things come out in the heat of the moment.
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Old 12-14-2019, 07:50 AM
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It’s sad but it does happen fairly often.

A few years ago I had a 4yo who had been sent to the director’s office for pulling his pants down in front of a group of kids out on the playground. It wasn’t his first time doing so so the director had called his parents. When dad came to pick up and the boy ran over to him to greet him the dad grabbed him by the arm and said harshly. “I heard you were very naughty today. Wait until we get home. I told you next time I got a call from school you were going to get a spanking.” No hello. No hugs. Not much love shown. Yes dad had a right to be upset but at least show a little affection first.
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Old 12-14-2019, 08:54 AM
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From the 50 year-old woman who remembers hearing her mom say, "I really wish I hadn't had any kids as young as I had you" - no matter what my mom was really trying to say, as a kid I heard "I don't (or didn't) want you." Period. End of discussion.

You may think things. You may feel things. It doesn't mean you should say the words that will stick around forever. Use the filter God gave you.
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