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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sad. Suspect Abuse
NoMoreJuice! 08:39 AM 12-15-2015
I'm so sad this morning, I really need a boost of support from you all pretty please. I called in a report of suspected abuse on behalf of my little 2.5 year old non verbal boy. He has a deep purple bite mark on his leg. I assumed it was a friend's child, cousin, other playmate over the weekend (he's only child, mom's pregnant), but am getting weird feelings.
At pickup yesterday, I asked stepdad if he had seen the bruise. He said yeah, they had, and as I waited for more info, he just grabbed the child and left. Then this morning I asked mom and she said she hadn't seen it but she knew stepdad and boy were wrestling over the weekend and it was probably just a bruise. I told her it was definitely a bite, so did stepdad bite him? She said of course not, and scrambled out the door. I examined it more closely after she left, and I'm convinced it's an adult bite mark. You can see the points from the teeth and it's a perfect ( ) shape. I didn't ask or address the two other bruises, one on each side of his mouth (pinch marks).
I called and reported to DCF, then called my county licensing to let them know. I'm so sad for this little guy. He's had a few bruises in the past too, but mom explained them away and told me about his chronic anemia. Which isn't on his medical record form.
Anyway, I am sad but prepared to lose him and get a retaliation complaint visit. My paperwork and house are in order. Just sad. I wonder what his life will be like if DCF actually takes action. Or what it will be like if they don't.
At pickup yesterday, I asked stepdad if he had seen the bruise. He said yeah, they had, and as I waited for more info, he just grabbed the child and left. Then this morning I asked mom and she said she hadn't seen it but she knew stepdad and boy were wrestling over the weekend and it was probably just a bruise. I told her it was definitely a bite, so did stepdad bite him? She said of course not, and scrambled out the door. I examined it more closely after she left, and I'm convinced it's an adult bite mark. You can see the points from the teeth and it's a perfect ( ) shape. I didn't ask or address the two other bruises, one on each side of his mouth (pinch marks).
I called and reported to DCF, then called my county licensing to let them know. I'm so sad for this little guy. He's had a few bruises in the past too, but mom explained them away and told me about his chronic anemia. Which isn't on his medical record form.
Anyway, I am sad but prepared to lose him and get a retaliation complaint visit. My paperwork and house are in order. Just sad. I wonder what his life will be like if DCF actually takes action. Or what it will be like if they don't.
Thriftylady 08:42 AM 12-15-2015
I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you. I know how hard it is.
Blackcat31 08:46 AM 12-15-2015
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I'm so sad this morning, I really need a boost of support from you all pretty please. I called in a report of suspected abuse on behalf of my little 2.5 year old non verbal boy. He has a deep purple bite mark on his leg. I assumed it was a friend's child, cousin, other playmate over the weekend (he's only child, mom's pregnant), but am getting weird feelings.
At pickup yesterday, I asked stepdad if he had seen the bruise. He said yeah, they had, and as I waited for more info, he just grabbed the child and left. Then this morning I asked mom and she said she hadn't seen it but she knew stepdad and boy were wrestling over the weekend and it was probably just a bruise. I told her it was definitely a bite, so did stepdad bite him? She said of course not, and scrambled out the door. I examined it more closely after she left, and I'm convinced it's an adult bite mark. You can see the points from the teeth and it's a perfect ( ) shape. I didn't ask or address the two other bruises, one on each side of his mouth (pinch marks).
I called and reported to DCF, then called my county licensing to let them know. I'm so sad for this little guy. He's had a few bruises in the past too, but mom explained them away and told me about his chronic anemia. Which isn't on his medical record form.
Anyway, I am sad but prepared to lose him and get a retaliation complaint visit. My paperwork and house are in order. Just sad. I wonder what his life will be like if DCF actually takes action. Or what it will be like if they don't.
I'm so sad this morning, I really need a boost of support from you all pretty please. I called in a report of suspected abuse on behalf of my little 2.5 year old non verbal boy. He has a deep purple bite mark on his leg. I assumed it was a friend's child, cousin, other playmate over the weekend (he's only child, mom's pregnant), but am getting weird feelings.
At pickup yesterday, I asked stepdad if he had seen the bruise. He said yeah, they had, and as I waited for more info, he just grabbed the child and left. Then this morning I asked mom and she said she hadn't seen it but she knew stepdad and boy were wrestling over the weekend and it was probably just a bruise. I told her it was definitely a bite, so did stepdad bite him? She said of course not, and scrambled out the door. I examined it more closely after she left, and I'm convinced it's an adult bite mark. You can see the points from the teeth and it's a perfect ( ) shape. I didn't ask or address the two other bruises, one on each side of his mouth (pinch marks).
I called and reported to DCF, then called my county licensing to let them know. I'm so sad for this little guy. He's had a few bruises in the past too, but mom explained them away and told me about his chronic anemia. Which isn't on his medical record form.
Anyway, I am sad but prepared to lose him and get a retaliation complaint visit. My paperwork and house are in order. Just sad. I wonder what his life will be like if DCF actually takes action. Or what it will be like if they don't.
Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing.
daycare 08:47 AM 12-15-2015
ah man thats tough.
so sorry to hear this is going on.
You are a hero no matter what!
When in doubt, check it out.
Hugs to you, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.
I hope that this all works out for everyone and that it doesn't get blown all apart.
You did the right thing.
so sorry to hear this is going on.
You are a hero no matter what!
When in doubt, check it out.
Hugs to you, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.
I hope that this all works out for everyone and that it doesn't get blown all apart.
You did the right thing.
Baby Beluga 08:47 AM 12-15-2015
Hugs to you, it is a very very tough position to be in as a provider.
laundrymom 09:22 AM 12-15-2015
One of the hardest parts of our job is making the call you just did. Late payments, late drop offs, low supplies, ..... All frustrating, but when a little one we keep shows signs of abuse,... That's tough. Especially when they're nonverbal. Have you taken pics?
You probably should.
Super gentle hugs to you. You are this boys hero. Even if you have doubt. You advocated for him. That's huge.
You probably should.
Super gentle hugs to you. You are this boys hero. Even if you have doubt. You advocated for him. That's huge.
MunchkinWrangler 09:53 AM 12-15-2015
You are doing the right thing. It's so sad to think about but someone needs to step in and protect him and that happens to be the ultimate purpose of childcare, I think. Poor kid, it makes me sad and angry. Their lack of concern is the first tip off to me and avoidance of the issue.
Ariana 10:13 AM 12-15-2015
That poor little boy He is lucky to have you in his life though. You did the right thing and hopefully he gets the help he needs.
He is lucky to have you in his life though. You did the right thing and hopefully he gets the help he needs.
NoMoreJuice! 10:25 AM 12-15-2015
Thank you all for the encouragement. I desperately needed it today.
I am giving the sweet boy tons of hugs and love today.
I am giving the sweet boy tons of hugs and love today.
TwinKristi 03:32 PM 12-21-2015
Update?
NoMoreJuice! 06:56 PM 12-21-2015
So far, nothing has happened. He was absent for a few days last week, so I assumed I'd never see him again, but he came back today! So I guess DCF just made a note in their records and aren't going to do or say anything to the parents? I HOPE there isn't a next time, but realistically I'm fully prepared to call again if I know he's being hurt.
TwinKristi 02:36 AM 12-22-2015
Wow! I thought that by law a suspected abuse report by a mandated reporter has to be visited within 48hrs? Maybe it varies by state. 
Josiegirl 03:44 AM 12-22-2015
Maybe dcf will clean up their act being caught? One can only hope.
If DCF checks it out does the mandated reporter get a report back? Maybe they were visited but found nothing out of the ordinary? I don't know, just guessing. I'm glad he's back to you though!!!
If DCF checks it out does the mandated reporter get a report back? Maybe they were visited but found nothing out of the ordinary? I don't know, just guessing. I'm glad he's back to you though!!!
Blackcat31 06:21 AM 12-22-2015
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
So far, nothing has happened. He was absent for a few days last week, so I assumed I'd never see him again, but he came back today! So I guess DCF just made a note in their records and aren't going to do or say anything to the parents? I HOPE there isn't a next time, but realistically I'm fully prepared to call again if I know he's being hurt.
Depending on how busy DCF is, this may not be water under the bridge just yet. Alot of times, there may be evidence or reports (that you are not aware of) that need to be tied together or investigated. Alot of times, the agency will contact the family and ask them for a time in which DCF can visit with them. That visit may or may not happen within a swift time frame. So far, nothing has happened. He was absent for a few days last week, so I assumed I'd never see him again, but he came back today! So I guess DCF just made a note in their records and aren't going to do or say anything to the parents? I HOPE there isn't a next time, but realistically I'm fully prepared to call again if I know he's being hurt.
I recently had a DCP that was reported (not by me and for a child NOT attending my program) and the report was very similar to your situation and so far the family is waiting on DCF to set up the "visit" so they can discuss the incident that lead to reporting (which was the week of Thanksgiving).
I've also had to report to CPS before and can say without a doubt that just because "all is quiet" right now, it does NOT mean they aren't working on it or still looking into it.