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spud912 03:17 PM 04-28-2011
My dc kids fight with each other all day long ("my turn," "no this toy is mine," "don't sing that song, it's my song"). It's becoming so frustrating because I can't get anything done. On top of that, I feel like I am constantly nagging and/or yelling at them. It's getting to the point where nothing is fun anymore because it's constant fighting and me telling them to stop.

When it was just my children and 1 dc child, this never happened. I got a new dcb about a month ago and I know it has everything to do with him. He is really a good boy (follows directions for the most part, helps clean up, does not hit, plus his parents are great). However, I had all girls before and he is particularly a rough boy and is constantly getting into things and climbing all over the place. I think the dc child I had before feels competitive with him and is challenging him constantly and he fights back constantly (not physically). She is a good girl normally but has started talking back to me recently.

Any advice? I really need to find some way to relax (both myself and the group) because I am getting tired of constantly yelling and nagging. I feel like it's making them worse also!
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daycare 03:29 PM 04-28-2011
waht are the ages?

you say you cant get anything done?? waht are you trying to do?

It sounds like you will need to interject wtih the DCKs.

When one kid says NO its my turn, and they cant resolve on thier own, then you need to help them figure it out. they are still little and don't know how to make great decisions every time or always cope with their feelings.

For me when and if this happens i will see who had it first and then tell the other child, sussie had the doll first. Then I will ask sussie would you like to share the doll with annie? If she says no, then ask sussie how would you feel if somene wouldnt share with you. Let her answer. ask again...do you think you can share with Annie? If the answer is still no, then you need to redirect Annie to another toy and tell Sussie you will get 5 more minutes to play with the doll and then it is Annies turn. You then turn to Annie and tell her what is going to happen. Usually by that point little Annie is so caught up in what she is doing she forgets abotu the doll...
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spud912 03:45 PM 04-28-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
waht are the ages?

you say you cant get anything done?? waht are you trying to do?

It sounds like you will need to interject wtih the DCKs.

When one kid says NO its my turn, and they cant resolve on thier own, then you need to help them figure it out. they are still little and don't know how to make great decisions every time or always cope with their feelings.

For me when and if this happens i will see who had it first and then tell the other child, sussie had the doll first. Then I will ask sussie would you like to share the doll with annie? If she says no, then ask sussie how would you feel if somene wouldnt share with you. Let her answer. ask again...do you think you can share with Annie? If the answer is still no, then you need to redirect Annie to another toy and tell Sussie you will get 5 more minutes to play with the doll and then it is Annies turn. You then turn to Annie and tell her what is going to happen. Usually by that point little Annie is so caught up in what she is doing she forgets abotu the doll...
The ages are 2 1/2. The things I am trying to get done are: prepare meals, clean up after meals, feed the baby, prepare for our next activity, clean up after the last activity, change diapers, assist in going potty, etc.


I am not exaggerating when I say the two dc kids are constantly up to no good (whether it be fighting over a toy; fighting over whose turn it is; doing something that will hurt themselves, others, or the daycare equipment; needing kisses for extremely over-exaggerated boo boos, etc.). I have no problem interjecting but it's constant. I'm to the point where I'm considering having them figure it out on their own so I can regain some form of sanity because the constant interruptions from necessary daycare-related tasks is making me go insane. They also act this way when I'm in the middle of engaging in activities with them. For example, I will be doing circle time and the dcb will be climbing and jumping off the slide. It makes me not even want to do anything with them because we can't get through one activity without me yelling at them. I don't know if it's something I am doing wrong (if it is, I really want to figure it out so I can stop!!) or if there is something else going on. Help me!
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daycare 03:55 PM 04-28-2011
uuugh its like that..


so heres what I have done.

any child that cant sit through class time doesnt get to sit wtih the rest of the kids. they get to sit outside the class area and watch from there. If they cant sit and listen from there then they need to be given something to do while class time is in session.

I have one like this but he is older. he is 3.5. I make him my shadow. I make him pass out papers, pass out crayons and so on. he loves it and I get my stuff done. I even make him help me with my laundry if he gets up from nap early. anything to keep him busy.

the other thing that I do if I see someone not interested in what we are doing, i change it for the moment and then come back to it.

I have one girl that hops up and down while sitting in criss cross applesauce. So I will stop reading the book and say....looks like we need to let off some steam..

Everybody stand up. spread teh kids apart and then we jump __________times.. Jump until they look like they are not having fun any more. Then ask everyone to sit down and sit back in criss cross applesauce, hands folded in the lap. Now have them take 3 deep breaths......try to read again.

If the child is not listening, then put the child on your lap while you read. Don't let them out of reading. eventually they will begin to love it.

also, sometimes the only thing you can do is let them figure it out. I say as long as its not gettting physical then let them figure it out..
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Michelle 04:10 PM 04-28-2011
First of all , yelling at them is not good for them!
It shows that you are out of control and that is scary to little kids.
Try some positive reinforcement ... such as, I like the way Johnny is sitting so nicely, or thank you so much Suzy for listening to Miss ____ !
Sing a song like this " I like the way Mark is playing" and I guarantee you most of the kids will want to play nice like Mark!

Enjoy them! The house doesn't have to be perfectly clean.
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Evansmom 04:15 PM 04-28-2011
2.5 is the age I begin to let them figure it out to a degree. If it gets physical I ALWAYS step in. But if it's just verbal I let them go at it. It is annoying but they do figure it out. And I sometimes interject with observations like, "_____, that hurt your feelings when so-and-so took your toy didn't it?" or "_____, how do you think you might feel if so-and-so did that to you?" Just little observations to have them think about it a bit. The kids I have now are 2's and 3's and they are pretty good at negotiating now. I got so tired of the tattling I told them I wouldn't hear it anymore. So now they go to each other for help negotiating and they actually do a pretty good job of it together!
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Tags:chaos, competitive, fighting, overwhelmed, possessive
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