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Unregistered 04:51 PM 03-23-2016
I have a 4.5dcg whom I am concerned with some behaviors she has. I don't know how to explain it except that she wants to have everything. She will sneak things occasionally in her clothes. One of her behaviors is when I serve our lunch she will grab the fruit plate and grab half of it or more leaving not much for the rest of us and then not eat them. And if she doesn't get it first she whines impatiently that she wants some too instead of waiting her turn. She will throw her plate on the floor and throw a fit if she doesn't get the color of plate she wants. If my child brings something home from school she is all over them asking if she can have it or share. She always has to have. Is this normal behavior? If not what can I do to help her?
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Thriftylady 05:05 PM 03-23-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a 4.5dcg whom I am concerned with some behaviors she has. I don't know how to explain it except that she wants to have everything. She will sneak things occasionally in her clothes. One of her behaviors is when I serve our lunch she will grab the fruit plate and grab half of it or more leaving not much for the rest of us and then not eat them. And if she doesn't get it first she whines impatiently that she wants some too instead of waiting her turn. She will throw her plate on the floor and throw a fit if she doesn't get the color of plate she wants. If my child brings something home from school she is all over them asking if she can have it or share. She always has to have. Is this normal behavior? If not what can I do to help her?
It could be she has an issue, but I am guessing that it has a lot to do with how parents handle things. Do her parents give in to her beck and call? I can tell you what I would do.

First she would not be serving herself at the table for awhile. She would have that privilege taken away until she learned to sit patiently and wait, AND only take what she is going to eat. When she started sitting quietly and waiting I would let her try again. As far as throwing her plate, I would say "oh you must not be hungry today, so you will lay down for nap now. Children who are to tired to eat need to go to bed". And I would remove her from the table and to her cot. I would of course discuss this with her BEFORE meal time. Tell her exactly what will happen if she does X. And then follow through.

Any time my kids have brought something from school, they have had to go away from daycare kids to have it, or put it away until the daycare kiddos leave. Young children only have one sense of fairness, and that is if you have something I want you should share.

As far as the sneaking, I would discuss it with the parents and let them know that you will be searching her in front of them at every drop off and pick up until she quits stealing things. DCG is old enough to be taught that taking something without asking is stealing.
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Cat Herder 10:20 AM 03-24-2016
Sounds like many of the 4 year old girls I have had.

IMPE, it is age appropriate (situational) and we have to discipline (not to be confused with punishment; two different horses) it like any other stage.

4-5 year old girls are my achilles heal. True story. I think I earn my keep more during that stage than any other. They keep me on my toes. Kudos to the K-4 teachers, they must be saints.

Another true story: IMPE, Most of their parents revert to carrying them to the door, candy breakfast in the car and baby talk during this phase as well. My theory is Learned Helplessness spurned by "Ermagosh!! She is off to big girl school in just a few months! My baby!!!"

I don't see this as much with "Big Boys". Cultural as well, maybe?
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Annalee 10:38 AM 03-24-2016
In the past, I have had parents that would come in my child care and speak, play with and notice the other children.....BUT these parents today notice their children alone...they act like you are taking care of their children alone.....a selfish generation!
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Blackcat31 10:42 AM 03-24-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Sounds like many of the 4 year old girls I have had.

IMPE, it is age appropriate (situational) and we have to discipline (not to be confused with punishment; two different horses) it like any other stage.

4-5 year old girls are my achilles heal. True story. I think I earn my keep more during that stage than any other. They keep me on my toes. Kudos to the K-4 teachers, they must be saints.

Another true story: IMPE, Most of their parents revert to carrying them to the door, candy breakfast in the car and baby talk during this phase as well. My theory is Learned Helplessness spurned by "Ermagosh!! She is off to big girl school in just a few months! My baby!!!"

I don't see this as much with "Big Boys". Cultural as well, maybe?
total truth.
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Unregistered 10:58 AM 03-24-2016
I'd serve her last, let her pick last, line up last. Everybody else goes before her until you start to see better behavior. Gradually add more privileges when they are earned. And don't be afraid to go back to square one if she reverts back to poor behavior.
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Ariana 03:38 PM 03-24-2016
I see this as an anxiety disorder possibly stemming from lack of control at home.
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Controlled Chaos 08:22 PM 03-24-2016
I have a 3yo DCG who acts similarly. She doesnt need to get a certain pate or get tantrumy BUT she eats like she's starving (at least 2 platefuls) and is very concerned about what she gets to take home (art projects, random pieces of paper). She is really intense. She has a very chaotic home life. Single mom, boyfriend not really into having a kid, mom is very young with zero parenting skills. The child needs structure crazy bad.
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Tags:learned helplessness, possessive
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