Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Do You Do With Just One Child?
logged out 06:07 PM 08-29-2012
For anyone of you who sometimes only has one child (or a preschooler with an infant, where the preschool child doesn't have anyone to play with): What do you do with that one child? Pretty often anymore I only have one child attending, and those days are SO LOOONG! The 4 yr old wants constant attention, begs to be played with, has to have a comment from me on ANYthing she does or says. Even if it's something she's already done several times, and I've seen her several times. If she tell me what she's doing...again...she expects me to comment on it. No simple, "yes I see". She wants a longer comment, like, "Yes, I see that you are racing the cars. Which one won?" If I don't comment like that, she repeats and repeats and repeats. On the days she's alone, she seems to think everything should revolve around her and what she wants at that time. When she has someone to play with, she's fine. Plays and enjoys herself, follows the routine, does each activity that it's time for, etc. But alone... if it's time to go outside and she wants to stay in and play the computer instead, she acts like it's the most obvious thing, and that's what we should do. And she'll get really pouty if I don't spend like the whole day on the floor with her. When I have just one child, I like to use those days to catch up on some of the things there's not time for when there are more children here (like paper work, cleaning daycare things, etc). I would ask her to "help" me, but some of it she can't help with, like the paper work. I can sit her down at the table with me with some crayons and paper, but the whole time she's asking, "what's your favorite color? What color do you want me to use next"? Etc. I always tell her it's her picture and she can choose what SHE wants, but she's not happy with that. She wants me to have my constant attention (and eyes) on her and what she's doing. But even if it wasn't for her wanting constant attention, it'd be a looong day because it's so boring, compared to what I'm used to haha. Any suggestions beside building up enrollment? I'm really trying to get mpre children in, but after so many left for Kindergarten, I haven't been able to get anymore enrolled.
So how do your days go, when you only have one child (or one without someone close enough to their age to play with)?
Reply
familyschoolcare 06:33 AM 08-30-2012
When I have just one child we spend more time at the park with other children.
Reply
logged out 07:40 AM 08-30-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
When I have just one child we spend more time at the park with other children.
That's a great idea.... but everytime I bring her, the park is empty except for us. When it's about time for us to leave, other children start trickling in (around 11:30 or 11:45), but by then it's time to head back so I can get lunch ready and get her down for nap (she's one who gets really whiney if she's late getting her nap, and starts misbehaving). I figure the parents are picking their children up from preschool and then heading straight to the park. Local Preschools let out around 11:30 here. It's frustrating that there doesn't seem to be anywhere around here with anything going one for young children that they could do during the day with other children. And when there's a special thing in the summers (like kid's day at the fair), they schedule it right during when young children would be napping (like 1-3 pm).
Reply
newtodaycare22 10:30 AM 08-30-2012
Try McDonalds or a local fast food place with a play area. I experience the same thing with alot of kids coming to the park as we leave (also around 1130) but sometimes there are more kids in Chic Fila and McDonalds w/parents who are eating. I give them a smoothie or lemonade so I don't feel bad about using their play area for free
Reply
Kelly 03:04 PM 08-30-2012
I have the same problem with my 4-yr-old DCB. I have him every afternoon and he is my only one except for an 8-month-old that only comes 2 days a week. He's very smart and well-behaved but is used to his mom playing with him and he wants me to play with him all the time. Taking him to the park or playground is not usually an option for me and the few times I have he doesn't play with anyone else, just hangs around me or wanders around by himself. His mom says he has never been around other kids his age. He spends all his time with Mom, Dad or Grandma. I only started my DC in February and haven't had much luck getting more kids---too many others offering care for $10/day.
Reply
sharlan 03:16 PM 08-30-2012
I use my velcro wall on those days. I REALLY HATE only having one child at a time.

Seriously, I spend far more time reading to the child on those days.
Reply
familyschoolcare 03:18 PM 08-30-2012
Sometimes I ask the child what he whant to do I ask in a way that makes it clear that he has to do something.

So G**** what are you going to do now?
Reply
Unregistered 08:01 PM 08-30-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
Sometimes I ask the child what he whant to do I ask in a way that makes it clear that he has to do something.

So G**** what are you going to do now?
LOL, she has no problem finding things to do but she expects me to do it with her, and pouts the whole time she's playing if I don't. And has to have CONSTANT comments on what she's doing. And one time while waiting on her mom, she was mad that we didn't have time to do something that we'd already done several times earlier in the day, but she was pouting again and said, "We didn't get to play x." I replied that no, we didn't, but maybe she could do it again tomorrow. She informed me that, "We could have TODAY, but you wouldn't get up and do it!" Whew! I can only imagine what she's telling her mom. She probably makes it sound like I sit around all day being lazy and won't do ANYthing. Truth was, she got busy doing something else and I thought why bring it up if she's actually busy playing something else? But now I always feel bad if I don't play with her a LOT during the day because I'm sure if she's mad about me not playing with her, she'll tell her mom some more stories about how I wouldn't get off my but*. And plus she looks so sad that I feel bad... is it wrong to want to wean her off of that constant attention and just let her play alone, without me being right there near by to at least comment? Sometimes I'm not busy at all and I could play, but I also feel like young children need to be able to self entertain too.
Reply
My3cents 04:27 AM 08-31-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
LOL, she has no problem finding things to do but she expects me to do it with her, and pouts the whole time she's playing if I don't. And has to have CONSTANT comments on what she's doing. And one time while waiting on her mom, she was mad that we didn't have time to do something that we'd already done several times earlier in the day, but she was pouting again and said, "We didn't get to play x." I replied that no, we didn't, but maybe she could do it again tomorrow. She informed me that, "We could have TODAY, but you wouldn't get up and do it!" Whew! I can only imagine what she's telling her mom. She probably makes it sound like I sit around all day being lazy and won't do ANYthing. Truth was, she got busy doing something else and I thought why bring it up if she's actually busy playing something else? But now I always feel bad if I don't play with her a LOT during the day because I'm sure if she's mad about me not playing with her, she'll tell her mom some more stories about how I wouldn't get off my but*. And plus she looks so sad that I feel bad... is it wrong to want to wean her off of that constant attention and just let her play alone, without me being right there near by to at least comment? Sometimes I'm not busy at all and I could play, but I also feel like young children need to be able to self entertain too.
There is an underlying sense of guilt put upon us, by ourselves and society that if we are not hands on with these kids 24/7 we are bad providers.

NanDe really puts this in perspective better then I can but I will give it a go......chime in if your reading Nan or anyone else....

It is a kids job to play. It is our job to make that environment safe so it can happen. Telling a child to go play toys is benefiting them not harming them. They learn from trial and error more then if an adult is playing with them. They become great problem solvers because they have had that practice to do so, with out an adult showing them the right way to do everything. They expand their imagination.

Child expects you to play with her and is going to rat you out to mom. Mom is paying, so she just wants little Susie happy. You need to teach both of them. My response to this smart little girl would have been something like this..... said in front of the mother.

Susie, your right I didn't want to play with you. I want you to learn to be able to play yourself and use your imagination. I often do play with you but today I chose that I wanted to do other things. If she starts to argue with you, simply tell her this is not something I am going to argue with you about. I am your caregiver, not your playmate. I am good at what I do, and I want you to be good at what you do too.

If you have a wide variety of things to do the parent is going to look at that and most likely dismiss the child's accusations.

Best---
Reply
renodeb 10:36 AM 08-31-2012
Often when I just have one kid we are outta here! Mcdonalds play place is a good place, almost always someone to play with. Sometimes my sister and I meet for lunch somewhere (kid friendly ofcourse). I have consent from the parents to transport them. I only have 3 dc kids total right now and there all pt so there is almost always atleast one day with juts one kid. I agree days can be long. Sometimes we go to the mall and walk around or walmart. Just depends. I odnt think theres anything wrong with going out and about, esp if you just have one!
The funnest thing Ive done with just one kid is gone over to my provider friends house so we can play with her kids. She has a really cool setup, much diffrent from mine!
Debbie
Reply
Lyss 01:25 PM 08-31-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
When I have just one child we spend more time at the park with other children.
I do this too but also ran into the same problems that you did as we usually leave at about 1130-1145 for lunch and nap. I began trying different parks and thankfully found a really popular one (of course it's not one of the ones that's right down the street) that always has at least 2 other kids at the same time as us. In the summer I look for parks that have splash fountains that start early, we have like 6 parks with splash fountains but only 2 turn on before noon, even if we're not playing in the splash fountain I've found that's those parks get busy fast because mom and dad (and me too some times! lol!) don't want to be sitting on a hot picnic bench in the heat of the day.

I even thought about putting up a Park Play Date ad on CL to see if other providers/SAHMs in the area wanted to meet at the park before I found the one that's usually busy.

I also do the library, as ours has a children's playroom that is always busy. Plus they do morning and afternoon story times so that draws more people in.
Reply
Logged out 01:34 PM 09-02-2012
Thank you for the suggestions everyone! I think it's really too bad our town is so small. We have one park/playground (plus the school playground, but we can't use that during school hrs of course). I've brought her to McDonalds a couple times. One time she was the only one for at least 30 minutes, but by some miracle was playing okay on her own. And this was right at lunch time! Another boy came in eventually and they played for about 15 more min, but it was SO late, and we had to go so she could take a (late) nap. 2nd time we went to a McDonald's in the next town, and she had several new "friends" to play with. I wish I could bring her to the next town (30 min away) every time, but that's too much gas . We only went that time because I had an errand I had to run there anyway. If anyone has any more ideas, I would be glad to hear them!
Thanks again for the suggestions, everyone!
Reply
DCMama 08:00 PM 09-05-2012
I been having one child. It was awkward at first because we eventually ran out of things to do together. I have my niece and nephew over to play all together. After awhile I would just take him out to field trips and make projects together
Reply
Reply Up