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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My Divorce Mom Strikes Again!
mrsnj 12:54 PM 05-18-2014
This one is funny though......
Well Mom might not think so.
I had a wedding to go to on Friday night and my friend/emergency aide offered to come in and close for me. As parents arrive, I notify them of her closing and all is good. Divorce mom even chats with me about the wedding being on a Friday and in the rain...blah blah blah. Says its no big deal. She is going to be picking up early anyway. Mom never picks up early. Daddy days are great days. Mommy days are late arrivals and late pick up days. But whatever. The end result is she clearly knows the evening situation. The day progresses and off I go for the night.
I close at 5:30. 5:15 I get a text from my friend saying divorce mom just called. I know what that means. So much for early pick up. I tell her to note the pick up time and let me know. 5:55 I get a pic of the younger sister (there is two children) standing in front of my clock that reads the time. I know clearly they are still there. LOL!
Mom shows and goes on and on about how much traffic there was and she got stuck behind a truck on the highway and yet there was no accident and all her normal "feel sorry for me" poo she spews at every late pick up. She hands my friend $5 and says "this is for your troubles. Go ahead and keep it". As they turn to leave the oldest announces "See mom. You can lie and tell Miss XXXX you were on time and she won't know cause she isn't here".
(Awesome right!! 
)The mom looks at my friend and says "Oh no. We can't do that. I will tell her the truth". So now you know what is going on behind the scenes in order for the child to make that comment and blow her mom out of the water.
My friend leaves me a word for word script of the convo along with the $5 and tells me to call her when I get home and read it.
I just sent mom a text reminder her she owes me $20. She writes back and says "$20?! Whats that for? I paid XXXX $5". I reminded her that it is $5 per every 15 min your are late x 2 for both girls. She gets pissed then. Says she was just late due to weather!! I didn't even get into the fact that her excuse isn't consistent!! Weather...traffic...accident. LOL Says I only charged her $5 ever! I said my fee has never been $5 till whenever you decide to show. I charged $5 per every 15 min late until last yr when she decided to make late pick ups a regular habit. Cut her a break or tried too. But then it went from 5 min late to 10 min late to 30 min late....from once in a blue moon to at least once a week now. And THAT is when it went to x2 for both girls. My paperwork clearly states the rules. I cut her a break. But not anymore. Its been a year since I upped her late pick up to normal. It was only a week ago I had just had the youngest and she didn't show and I had to take the child with me to church for my choir practice and I charged her THEN! But it was only the one child at that time. But still, it was not $5!! And she was 45 min late!!!!!!! She says she doesn't owe that!! I said sorry. But when you continue to come later and later and over and over each week, I do not work after hours for free. You owe $20. I think she misses the concept of late fee. It isn't a payment for me/staff working after hours for pennies as an extension of your day. Its MEANT to be a punishment!
She doesn't know it yet but I had a chat with divorce dad today. Notified him that it is now pick ups after 6 pm now and I am done. From now on, when the mommy call comes that she is going to be late, 5:30 on the dot dad is getting a pick up call. He was major pissed off!! He lives right down the street. Said he was home on Friday and the girls should not be there that late! Mom does not like when I notify dad of issues like late payments or pick ups etc. But I am done. Not here by 5:30....dad gets called first. Then I go right on down the pick up list. Whomever gets here first is the winner. AND I still charge the late fee! The only reason those kids are still here is because of dad. Dad tells me he is applying for primary custody. I say YIPPIE! Cause lord knows mom shouldn't be!
And the best part of this story.....mom was off work and home all day
I have three months until both are in school. Then I am DONE DONE DONE! Unless dad gets custody. Then I might do before/after. If the situation is like it is now....nope. Done. I love those girls but I don't love them enough to continue another milla-second beyond.
So. No response to my last "oh well" text. Lets vote on if she shows with it in hand?
Well Mom might not think so.
I had a wedding to go to on Friday night and my friend/emergency aide offered to come in and close for me. As parents arrive, I notify them of her closing and all is good. Divorce mom even chats with me about the wedding being on a Friday and in the rain...blah blah blah. Says its no big deal. She is going to be picking up early anyway. Mom never picks up early. Daddy days are great days. Mommy days are late arrivals and late pick up days. But whatever. The end result is she clearly knows the evening situation. The day progresses and off I go for the night.
I close at 5:30. 5:15 I get a text from my friend saying divorce mom just called. I know what that means. So much for early pick up. I tell her to note the pick up time and let me know. 5:55 I get a pic of the younger sister (there is two children) standing in front of my clock that reads the time. I know clearly they are still there. LOL!
Mom shows and goes on and on about how much traffic there was and she got stuck behind a truck on the highway and yet there was no accident and all her normal "feel sorry for me" poo she spews at every late pick up. She hands my friend $5 and says "this is for your troubles. Go ahead and keep it". As they turn to leave the oldest announces "See mom. You can lie and tell Miss XXXX you were on time and she won't know cause she isn't here".
(Awesome right!! )The mom looks at my friend and says "Oh no. We can't do that. I will tell her the truth". So now you know what is going on behind the scenes in order for the child to make that comment and blow her mom out of the water.My friend leaves me a word for word script of the convo along with the $5 and tells me to call her when I get home and read it.
I just sent mom a text reminder her she owes me $20. She writes back and says "$20?! Whats that for? I paid XXXX $5". I reminded her that it is $5 per every 15 min your are late x 2 for both girls. She gets pissed then. Says she was just late due to weather!! I didn't even get into the fact that her excuse isn't consistent!! Weather...traffic...accident. LOL Says I only charged her $5 ever! I said my fee has never been $5 till whenever you decide to show. I charged $5 per every 15 min late until last yr when she decided to make late pick ups a regular habit. Cut her a break or tried too. But then it went from 5 min late to 10 min late to 30 min late....from once in a blue moon to at least once a week now. And THAT is when it went to x2 for both girls. My paperwork clearly states the rules. I cut her a break. But not anymore. Its been a year since I upped her late pick up to normal. It was only a week ago I had just had the youngest and she didn't show and I had to take the child with me to church for my choir practice and I charged her THEN! But it was only the one child at that time. But still, it was not $5!! And she was 45 min late!!!!!!! She says she doesn't owe that!! I said sorry. But when you continue to come later and later and over and over each week, I do not work after hours for free. You owe $20. I think she misses the concept of late fee. It isn't a payment for me/staff working after hours for pennies as an extension of your day. Its MEANT to be a punishment!
She doesn't know it yet but I had a chat with divorce dad today. Notified him that it is now pick ups after 6 pm now and I am done. From now on, when the mommy call comes that she is going to be late, 5:30 on the dot dad is getting a pick up call. He was major pissed off!! He lives right down the street. Said he was home on Friday and the girls should not be there that late! Mom does not like when I notify dad of issues like late payments or pick ups etc. But I am done. Not here by 5:30....dad gets called first. Then I go right on down the pick up list. Whomever gets here first is the winner. AND I still charge the late fee! The only reason those kids are still here is because of dad. Dad tells me he is applying for primary custody.
I say YIPPIE! Cause lord knows mom shouldn't be!And the best part of this story.....mom was off work and home all day
I have three months until both are in school. Then I am DONE DONE DONE! Unless dad gets custody. Then I might do before/after. If the situation is like it is now....nope. Done. I love those girls but I don't love them enough to continue another milla-second beyond.
So. No response to my last "oh well" text. Lets vote on if she shows with it in hand?
NightOwl 01:03 PM 05-18-2014
If she shows without the late fee, send her to the bank WITH her children and tell her you'll accept them back when she returns with your late fee.
CraftyMom 03:14 PM 05-18-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
If she shows without the late fee, send her to the bank WITH her children and tell her you'll accept them back when she returns with your late fee.
If she shows without the late fee, send her to the bank WITH her children and tell her you'll accept them back when she returns with your late fee.
cheerfuldom 07:30 PM 05-18-2014
Up the late fee to a $1 a minute per child effective monday. Send mom and dad the same contract update. One $60 fee and that will never happen again. $5 every 15 minutes is clearly not effective and you are regularly working extra for peanuts. I would absolutely call dad and whoever else for a timely pickup every day. put that in the contract update so all parties know. let her emergency contacts get mad at her and get her in line 
there is no way in he** that I would put up with this women. no way!
there is no way in he** that I would put up with this women. no way!
playground1 01:04 AM 05-19-2014
I think Wednesday's idea is a great one. Good luck with that situation, I've totally been there.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:57 AM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Up the late fee to a $1 a minute per child effective monday. Send mom and dad the same contract update. One $60 fee and that will never happen again. $5 every 15 minutes is clearly not effective and you are regularly working extra for peanuts. I would absolutely call dad and whoever else for a timely pickup every day. put that in the contract update so all parties know. let her emergency contacts get mad at her and get her in line there is no way in he** that I would put up with this women. no way!
ABSOLUTELY. Oh, and yes. I have had two fees charged that were above $50.00. One for a habitually late mom of 2 (she was termed for other reasons) and one for a habitually late mom of 1 who "lost track of time." Up the late fee to a $1 a minute per child effective monday. Send mom and dad the same contract update. One $60 fee and that will never happen again. $5 every 15 minutes is clearly not effective and you are regularly working extra for peanuts. I would absolutely call dad and whoever else for a timely pickup every day. put that in the contract update so all parties know. let her emergency contacts get mad at her and get her in line
there is no way in he** that I would put up with this women. no way!
NightOwl 06:12 AM 05-19-2014
Update?
Blackcat31 06:48 AM 05-19-2014
Since the late fee isn't to gain any extra $, why not just NOT allow it anymore?
By allowing it, you are accepting her behavior and that is why she is having trouble following through with being on time.
My late fee is $10 for being late and $1 per minute that they are late.
Second late offense is double the $$$ ($20 for being late; $2 for each minute late)
Third late fee is either 3x the fees OR immediate termination.
I get that things happen and try to be understanding about it but I won't work with some one who has zero respect for me or my time.
This mom is showing you that she has no respect for you or your time.
By allowing it, you are accepting her behavior and that is why she is having trouble following through with being on time.
My late fee is $10 for being late and $1 per minute that they are late.
Second late offense is double the $$$ ($20 for being late; $2 for each minute late)
Third late fee is either 3x the fees OR immediate termination.
I get that things happen and try to be understanding about it but I won't work with some one who has zero respect for me or my time.
This mom is showing you that she has no respect for you or your time.
mrsnj 06:49 AM 05-19-2014
She never wrote me back. She showed. Late as usual. But she had check in hand. Never spoke to me. Directed her attention to the child and left. Never even made eye contact. Me thinkins someone is just slightly irritated this morn. But I am kinda irritated that she seems to think its ok to be disrespectful! We are not talking 5 min here and there. It was 30 min this week and 45 last week! And then to pay $5 like that would fix it all! She must think my aide was 12 yrs old! Pay $5 extra and pick up your kid whenever you like....imagine that rule going over in daycare!
She doesn't know I spoke with Dad. I asked him not to discuss it. So if this doesn't fix her perpetual lateness, I am sure one time of having to pick up the kids at Dads house will! That will go over like a huge lead balloon! I have decided that if dad does not get primary custody, I will not be taking the girls for before/after in the fall. They will be done. The only reason they are still here is because of daddy. She has walked the termination line way too many times for me.
Before/after is extra money in my pocket. It doesn't pay much and not worth the headache. She can pay for before/afterschool care at the school and pay $$$$$ and dream about what used to be's.
Black cat- I am far from allowing it. She simply just does it. The only way not to allow it would be to term. I have not a single issue on daddy days. Kids come dressed, on time, picked up. Fabulous. But those two days a week I have mommy I want to string her to a tree!!
But I am kinda irritated that she seems to think its ok to be disrespectful! We are not talking 5 min here and there. It was 30 min this week and 45 last week! And then to pay $5 like that would fix it all! She must think my aide was 12 yrs old! Pay $5 extra and pick up your kid whenever you like....imagine that rule going over in daycare! She doesn't know I spoke with Dad. I asked him not to discuss it. So if this doesn't fix her perpetual lateness, I am sure one time of having to pick up the kids at Dads house will! That will go over like a huge lead balloon! I have decided that if dad does not get primary custody, I will not be taking the girls for before/after in the fall. They will be done. The only reason they are still here is because of daddy. She has walked the termination line way too many times for me.
Before/after is extra money in my pocket. It doesn't pay much and not worth the headache. She can pay for before/afterschool care at the school and pay $$$$$ and dream about what used to be's.Black cat- I am far from allowing it. She simply just does it. The only way not to allow it would be to term. I have not a single issue on daddy days. Kids come dressed, on time, picked up. Fabulous. But those two days a week I have mommy I want to string her to a tree!!
Blackcat31 08:31 AM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
Black cat- I am far from allowing it. She simply just does it. The only way not to allow it would be to term. I have not a single issue on daddy days. Kids come dressed, on time, picked up. Fabulous. But those two days a week I have mommy I want to string her to a tree!!
Yeah, I went back and re-read what you said and see that you said you tried to cut her a break BEFORE so totally see where you have now put your foot down and she is still being rude and disrespectful about it. Black cat- I am far from allowing it. She simply just does it. The only way not to allow it would be to term. I have not a single issue on daddy days. Kids come dressed, on time, picked up. Fabulous. But those two days a week I have mommy I want to string her to a tree!!
I would be tempted to just call her out in a snide manner EVERY.single time and maybe she'll start getting it...and understand how rude she is being.
Either that or tell her that her late fee will be doubling with EACH occurrence. Maybe her pocketbook speaks louder than anything.
Ugh, it sure is hard when you have that "one" parent that has trouble following rules. Makes you worry about their kids' future and their ability to follow rules later on in school and in life.
Hang in there....hopefully she KNOWS you are mad and will refrain from trying to push you any further.
Luvnmykidz 10:08 AM 05-19-2014
My late fee is $1/minute as well as a $20 inconvenience fee per child. This is also what my early drop off fee is. 30 minutes late for two kids becomes costly immediately. Sometimes with rude inconsiderate people you have to affect their wallet before they are willing to become compliant and somewhat respectful. Its not about the money for me, I would rather them just be respectful and pick up on time so I can enjoy my own 3 kids. Good luck and I'm sure if you change your policy and up the rate effective immediately you will see some positive results after enforcing one time.
mrsnj 08:18 PM 05-19-2014
She just emailed me to say she would be pulling the kids at the end of school. She is putting them in summer camp. I notified the dad who is livid right now! I just spoke with him yesterday so I know his intentions in regard to continued care. Has already called his lawyer and set a court date. Mom called it 'summer camp' but I told dad there will not be a spot for them come Sept if that is her intention (which we all know is not). I did not discuss with him that if he cannot take care of the situation, their last day will be Friday. I have a waiting list. I am not going to deal with this mother another second. They will be done. But I see he is upset right now so I don't want to rock his boat any further. He said he will get back to me when his lawyer calls in the morning.
Mom is something else. Bounces checks, pays late, drops off and picks up late, brings her kids in jammies, etc etc etc....and she has the nerve to think I would not be upset? And then pulls when I am? I have news for her. Those kids are not staying here out of the goodness of my heart. I do not need her. I infact have a new child starting Tue next week, two starting Sept, summer kids filled and a waiting list of kids interested......she will be done.
Mom is something else. Bounces checks, pays late, drops off and picks up late, brings her kids in jammies, etc etc etc....and she has the nerve to think I would not be upset? And then pulls when I am? I have news for her. Those kids are not staying here out of the goodness of my heart. I do not need her. I infact have a new child starting Tue next week, two starting Sept, summer kids filled and a waiting list of kids interested......she will be done.
Play Care 03:07 AM 05-20-2014
This is why I remind myself on a daily basis that
No good deed goes unpunished"
No good deed goes unpunished"
mrsnj 04:33 AM 05-20-2014
And guess who showed an hour and half early!? Yep. Sent the kids up and left and here they sit. And THIS is why I am done. I am not going to go a month having to deal with her when I do not have to and I am not turning customers away who are willing to take spots right now.
I feel bad for the girls. This is the only stable place they have but in the end they aren't mine and I cannot worry. This is their dads issue now..........
I feel bad for the girls. This is the only stable place they have but in the end they aren't mine and I cannot worry. This is their dads issue now..........
NightOwl 05:10 AM 05-20-2014
Amen mrsnj! Send hey on her way TODAY!
mrsnj 05:21 AM 05-20-2014
Just spoke to dad. She texted him last night. I said at least she has an excuse. She didn't SEE him. She picked up here yesterday and couldn't talk in person. Sent me a email. He was shocked. He said she told him they are enrolled up where she moved and he would have to make up the difference (which is more money) AND enrolled them into private school up there for the fall which she expects him to pay and he told her hes taking her to court. So now she is pissed at him! I told him this was all over my charging her. He said GOOD. About time someone makes her own up and be responsible! Hes talking to his lawyer today when he gets into work. I did tell him I have a waiting list and if they cannot straighten this out I will have to give notice. He understood and said he will tell his lawyer stat. He is fighting for custody. Mom doesn't know this yet. They are getting their ducks in order before pulling her in. I feel bad for him cause this will upturn everything he has planned but...........
Ooooooo the momma drama!
Hes talking to his lawyer today when he gets into work. I did tell him I have a waiting list and if they cannot straighten this out I will have to give notice. He understood and said he will tell his lawyer stat. He is fighting for custody. Mom doesn't know this yet. They are getting their ducks in order before pulling her in. I feel bad for him cause this will upturn everything he has planned but...........Ooooooo the momma drama!
Second Home 05:44 AM 05-20-2014
I hope you are going to charge her for the extra hour and a half .
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:53 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Second Home:
I hope you are going to charge her for the extra hour and a half .
I agree. That is absolutely absurd that someone would bring their children somewhere to be cared for 90 minutes early! I hope you are going to charge her for the extra hour and a half .
Sounds like Mom is in for a rude awakening.
CraftyMom 05:55 AM 05-20-2014
OMG an hour and a half early? I think I might have called her right back and said come get them or pay me xxxx crazy amount of money. And by the way, don't come back!
countrymom 07:49 AM 05-20-2014
situations like this make me so mad, why don't the courts give full custody to the normal parents anymore even if it is the dads. Grrr. But good for dad for fighting, at least he can give them a normal childhood and stable home.
Leigh 07:58 AM 05-20-2014
So, she dumped the kids and took off, didn't bring them to the door? I'd call her right now and tell her to come pick up her children. I'd term immediately for that. Not only is it disrespectful to you, but it's not safe to dump your kids not knowing whether they'll be admitted.
Blackcat31 09:12 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
So, she dumped the kids and took off, didn't bring them to the door? I'd call her right now and tell her to come pick up her children. I'd term immediately for that. Not only is it disrespectful to you, but it's not safe to dump your kids not knowing whether they'll be admitted.
So, she dumped the kids and took off, didn't bring them to the door? I'd call her right now and tell her to come pick up her children. I'd term immediately for that. Not only is it disrespectful to you, but it's not safe to dump your kids not knowing whether they'll be admitted.
This^^^ Children are to be accompanied to and from the child care BY an adult. They must be signed in and out by an adult.
I would call her immediately too!
NO way would I have accepted them into care an hour and a half early!
mrsnj 10:01 AM 05-22-2014
Mom is just walking that line.....Dad said his lawyer is watching the dockets as the final thing to gather before they pull her into court. Seems she has a DUI and crashed her car. Guess her 'car is in repair' wasn't the truth. Her punishment is awaiting.....its a matter of 6 months to a year of no lic. Man it just gets better and better.
I gave him till next Friday as he is still awaiting her lawyer to get back to him with a date to fight the pulling. Then hes on his own........
Guess her 'car is in repair' wasn't the truth. Her punishment is awaiting.....its a matter of 6 months to a year of no lic. Man it just gets better and better. I gave him till next Friday as he is still awaiting her lawyer to get back to him with a date to fight the pulling. Then hes on his own........
Texasjeepgirl 12:34 PM 05-22-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Since the late fee isn't to gain any extra $, why not just NOT allow it anymore?
By allowing it, you are accepting her behavior and that is why she is having trouble following through with being on time.
My late fee is $10 for being late and $1 per minute that they are late.
Second late offense is double the $$$ ($20 for being late; $2 for each minute late)
Third late fee is either 3x the fees OR immediate termination.
I get that things happen and try to be understanding about it but I won't work with some one who has zero respect for me or my time.
This mom is showing you that she has no respect for you or your time.
I COMPLETELY LOVE THIS....Since the late fee isn't to gain any extra $, why not just NOT allow it anymore?
By allowing it, you are accepting her behavior and that is why she is having trouble following through with being on time.
My late fee is $10 for being late and $1 per minute that they are late.
Second late offense is double the $$$ ($20 for being late; $2 for each minute late)
Third late fee is either 3x the fees OR immediate termination.
I get that things happen and try to be understanding about it but I won't work with some one who has zero respect for me or my time.
This mom is showing you that she has no respect for you or your time.
My late fee is simply $1 per minute... but your LATE FEE is far better...
I tell each and every parent
My late fee is $1 per minute...
and
I DO NOT WANT YOUR DOLLAR...or DOLLARS... so DO NOT BE LATE to pick up your child...
KiddieCahoots 06:03 PM 05-22-2014
Mom is just a train wreck, isn't she!?
Among her problems, almost sounds like she's using day care to get back at dad too.
Among her problems, almost sounds like she's using day care to get back at dad too.