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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>One Pick Up/ Drop Off Exceptions
daycare 01:16 PM 02-18-2015
I have always had the rule that every family has one drop off/ pick up per day, however, I have set of siblings boy/girl.

the girl has been having some bladder issues and needs to go see a specialist. DCP do not want to take the DCB because of the type of appointment they are gong to and does not want older brother seeing all his sisters privates.
I agreed to allow the DCB to stay and only have DCG picked up.


Well dcg thought today was the day she was getting picked up early and started to get he shoes and jacket on.

as soon as she did this, dcb started to FREAK out scream crying,. throwing himself on the ground and then trying to make himself throw up.

I text dcm who said no appt is Friday not today. I can't get dck to calm down (age 4) and it's been going on now for almost 30 minutes.

I don't want to send dck home for the sole purpose of his episode would be a reward, but if I can't get him to stop I might have to. Would you send home for this reason?

Also, knowing that the child is going to act out like this and his sister did not even leave today only is a preview for what will happen on Friday. Do you think that I should retract my offer to let him stay after his huge fit today?

Thanks for your help
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daycare 02:57 PM 02-18-2015
anyone..???? or am I the only one that has this policy???
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Thriftylady 02:59 PM 02-18-2015
Well it could be that DCB would act differently if he knew ahead of time. When Friday comes I would say early in the day "hey DCB, your sister has to go do xyz today, you really won't enjoy that so you get to stay here and play! When she leaves I expect you to behave like "xyz' or you will have to get a time out". And then remind him shortly before she leaves.
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daycare 03:07 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Well it could be that DCB would act differently if he knew ahead of time. When Friday comes I would say early in the day "hey DCB, your sister has to go do xyz today, you really won't enjoy that so you get to stay here and play! When she leaves I expect you to behave like "xyz' or you will have to get a time out". And then remind him shortly before she leaves.
I think one of the issues is that the dcg is getting picked up at nap time.....

Also, dcp have been talking about it all week and the kid knows. we talked about it at drop off just this morning and it was said right in front of dcb. so he thought all day today that the little sis was going to leave...

Knowing this, do you think I should tell them that I need for him to also be picked up on friday as well?
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Unregistered 03:22 PM 02-18-2015
We have a policy of no drop off between 1200 and 200 pm due to naptime. They can pickup whenever they choose to just not between these times.
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daycare 03:29 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
We have a policy of no drop off between 1200 and 200 pm due to naptime. They can pickup whenever they choose to just not between these times.
sorry I meant to say that they are picking up right as everyone goes down for nap. NOt during actual nap time. we nap 1-3, child will be picked up right before that.
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spinnymarie 03:33 PM 02-18-2015
I would probably address this with the kid, and tell mom that she needs to talk to him at home about how to behave during this situation and what will happen if he does/doesn't.
I wouldn't make them bring him to the appointment, though.
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daycare 03:41 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by spinnymarie:
I would probably address this with the kid, and tell mom that she needs to talk to him at home about how to behave during this situation and what will happen if he does/doesn't.
I wouldn't make them bring him to the appointment, though.
I agree that I would not want him to have to go to the appointment either, but it took me almost an hour and 20 minutes to calm this child down who never actually stopped crying, but did quiet down. the other kids could not nap because of it. so now I have a house full of kids that are a train wreck due to this kid screaming like someone was trying to kill him all during nap time.

I am thinking that it may be in their best interest to not even send dcg girl tomorrow at all to avoid this happened at nap time or pick her up much earlier in the day. I refuse to allow another day like today happen again.

this is exactly why I have the one pick up per day per family rule.
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daycare 03:41 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by spinnymarie:
I would probably address this with the kid, and tell mom that she needs to talk to him at home about how to behave during this situation and what will happen if he does/doesn't.
I wouldn't make them bring him to the appointment, though.
I agree that I would not want him to have to go to the appointment either, but it took me almost an hour and 20 minutes to calm this child down who never actually stopped crying, but did quiet down. the other kids could not nap because of it. so now I have a house full of kids that are a train wreck due to this kid screaming like someone was trying to kill him all during nap time.

I am thinking that it may be in their best interest to not even send dcg girl tomorrow at all to avoid this happened at nap time or pick her up much earlier in the day. I refuse to allow another day like today happen again.

this is exactly why I have the one pick up per day per family rule.
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spinnymarie 12:04 PM 02-19-2015
What did you decide? How did it go?
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jenboo 12:15 PM 02-19-2015
I would explain what happened and say that that need to take DCB with or schedule it after nap.
I'f DCB was hysterical, he would need to sit in a crying corner. I would do my best to move on with our day.
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TheGoodLife 12:20 PM 02-19-2015
I like the idea of changing it to keeping DCG out all day. Or explain that if it did happen that someone would have to pick up if he didn't calm after 20 minutes- you can't disrupt everyone's routine and much-needed nap time for one child.
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daycare 01:37 PM 02-19-2015
Well I still have not made my decision. The doc appt is not until tomorrow so I'm trying to decide what I should do.

I am going to tell DCM tonight at pick up her options of
1. DcG does not come at all
2. If Dcb does not scream cries at pick up but starts after and cries past 30 min someone's going to have to come pick him up.
3. If Dcb is scream crying at their pick up he has go with them.

Today the sister asked do I go to the doctors today and dck started up again. I told him stop right now. You are safe you are ok and there is no reason to be screaming. If you want to be sad that's fine, but you will not scream.

I can't just leave him in a crying spot because it's nap time and I need him quiet so the others can nap.
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Unregistered 01:52 PM 02-19-2015
Dcm should look into a better time.....
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jenboo 02:13 PM 02-19-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
Well I still have not made my decision. The doc appt is not until tomorrow so I'm trying to decide what I should do.

I am going to tell DCM tonight at pick up her options of
1. DcG does not come at all
2. If Dcb does not scream cries at pick up but starts after and cries past 30 min someone's going to have to come pick him up.
3. If Dcb is scream crying at their pick up he has go with them.

Today the sister asked do I go to the doctors today and dck started up again. I told him stop right now. You are safe you are ok and there is no reason to be screaming. If you want to be sad that's fine, but you will not scream.

I can't just leave him in a crying spot because it's nap time and I need him quiet so the others can nap.
I think those are solid options. And if there is a next time, tell them it cannot be during nap.
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Ariana 02:16 PM 02-19-2015
Why not have something special going on for him when his sister leaves. From a kids perspective he is feeling very left out.
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daycare 02:20 PM 02-19-2015
The issue is that I can't conduct a special activity at the time that they are asking to pick up DcG. It's nap time.

They would need to pick up earlier for me to have dcb involved in a good fun and exciting activity. But if they are not willing to pick up earlier then it's the above options.
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Shell 05:50 PM 02-19-2015
This is quite a hassle, and I would be annoyed as well. You can't have him carrying on like that- it's way too disruptive. Can someone else pick up dcb and take him somewhere special- like dcd taking him to work for a bit? Maybe the boy wants attention, but I think it's out of your hands. This is a crappy situation for you, and I feel they need to come up with a solution since they created the issue by "breaking" your one a day drop off rule.
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daycare 05:56 PM 02-19-2015
Originally Posted by Shell:
This is quite a hassle, and I would be annoyed as well. You can't have him carrying on like that- it's way too disruptive. Can someone else pick up dcb and take him somewhere special- like dcd taking him to work for a bit? Maybe the boy wants attention, but I think it's out of your hands. This is a crappy situation for you, and I feel they need to come up with a solution since they created the issue by "breaking" your one a day drop off rule.
I agree and this is why I made that rule in the first place was to avoid situations like this.

I told dcm tonight and she was not happy. I said look, I am going out of my way to be flexible with you guys, disregarding my policies and trying to be helpful, however, you have to understand that when running a program, having a child screaming like someone is trying to kill him for over an hour is not ok. It scares the other kids and worst of all, it's happening during nap time, not allowing the other children to sleep.

I gave her the options again and she said she would get back to me tonight, which I kindly reminded her that I didn't respond to text after closing.

Yeah I am really throwing the book, because why should they be annoyed at me for letting them break my policy in the first place. Sorry, I am not going to lie down and be walked on this time.

So lets see what happens they have another two hours to let me know what they are going to do.
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Starburst 05:01 AM 02-20-2015
You can try planning an activity that DCK likes around that time if possible so he would rather stay then leave.

It might be tempting to tell him he won't have fun at the doctor with sister but his sister might overhear (or he might tell her) and freak out and make them both afraid of going to the doctor in the future.
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deliberateliterate 11:11 AM 02-20-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
I agree and this is why I made that rule in the first place was to avoid situations like this.

I told dcm tonight and she was not happy. I said look, I am going out of my way to be flexible with you guys, disregarding my policies and trying to be helpful, however, you have to understand that when running a program, having a child screaming like someone is trying to kill him for over an hour is not ok. It scares the other kids and worst of all, it's happening during nap time, not allowing the other children to sleep.

I gave her the options again and she said she would get back to me tonight, which I kindly reminded her that I didn't respond to text after closing.

Yeah I am really throwing the book, because why should they be annoyed at me for letting them break my policy in the first place. Sorry, I am not going to lie down and be walked on this time.

So lets see what happens they have another two hours to let me know what they are going to do.
That's frustrating. You're trying to work with them, but they aren't willing to compromise at all. What ended up happening?
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daycare 12:19 PM 02-20-2015
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
That's frustrating. You're trying to work with them, but they aren't willing to compromise at all. What ended up happening?
DCG ended up not coming today. They are mad, I can tell, but I really don't care.

dcb had a screaming fit a drop off. I tried to comfort dcb and let him know that he was fine. He cried for another 20 minutes, tired to make himself puke and so I laid him down for nap and he's still there sleeping.

I guess no matter what I did in this case, going against my own rule was a horrible idea.
I did tell dcp that this is the reason that I have the rule and moving forward I will enforce it.
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