Ignore or Say Something?

Logged out for privacy.

I've got a dcm who has recently started telling me when to feed dck (9 months), when to put him down for nap, when to feed him, etc. This is not a new client, and they only come a couple days a week.

I just follow my regular schedule and feed him when he's hungry, put him down for his long nap with the rest of the kids (my recharge time), etc. It's always worked for me.

She messaged me earlier telling me to feed him a bottle at X time before he goes down at X time. He's already finished that bottle (1.5 hours earlier than she told me to) and I had to keep dcb from sleeping before feeding it to him, so he will be sleeping earlier than she said.

Is it rude to just ignore her demands? Should I respond next time she does it?

[Cat Herder]

Does he have 3 hours between bottles? Do you have a posted infant schedule that begins the first bottle 3 hours after the last feeding? (at 9 months, 2 if younger)

Is this a breastfed baby? She may be trying to stick with the every 3 or every 4-hour schedule?

Does your state require an infant feeding plan?

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Does he have 3 hours between bottles? Do you have a posted infant schedule that begins the first bottle 3 hours after the last feeding? (at 9 months, 2 if younger)

Is this a breastfed baby? She may be trying to stick with the every 3 or every 4-hour schedule?

Does your state require an infant feeding plan?

More like 2-2.5 hours for me in the morning. Dcm pushes 3, but he gets so fussy that he can't go that long. He takes a long afternoon nap, has a bottle shortly after that, and is good until pick-up. And no, no posted infant schedule.

Breastfed at home, I'm not sure if he's supplemented at home or not. Formula fed here.

And no, my state does not require that.

In alabama,we are required to have a schedule for all ages. Infants go with the flow and eat, sleep and play when they want to.

[Cat Herder]

Is he eating table foods at meals and snacks with the rest of the group, in addition to the bottles?

Or does she want him on the bottle only?

I have to follow the food program rules so here I would have to do this for 6-12 months for meals:

• 6-8 fluid ounces breastmilk, iron fortified infant formula, or portions of both;

AND (One or more items from the following)

• 0-4 tablespoons iron fortified infant cereal; OR
• 0-4 tablespoons meat, fish, poultry, whole egg, cooked dry beans or cooked dry peas;
• OR 0-2 ounces of cheese;
• OR 0-4 ounces (volume) of cottage cheese or yogurt;

AND

• 0-2 tablespoons vegetable, fruit or a combination of both (no juice)

I would probably just give her the schedule of your routine and let her decide if it works for her or not. If it does not, then she can find care that meets her needs.

[Jo123ABC]

Well that's annoying. I would respond to text with something like "hi so and so! Johnny had a bottle at 0:00 and will likely be ready for a nap at 0:00 today! It's difficult for johnny to follow his home schedule at daycare because the group is quiet at 0:00 when they all nap but they are playing (or whatever activity) at (insert time she wants nap). I prefer to feed on-demand as activities at daycare may make it difficult for him to focus on his bottle at specified times but will do my best to feed him during your preferred times."

Something like that anyway. All of the kids follow the daycare schedule here. They can't just up and nap randomly during the day while all the kids are playing. Usually my problem with infants is that they don't want to take the time to drink a bottle. They often end up reversing their schedules and try eating at night. This is usually when parents have to night train so they will eat during the day more. This is typically around 6 months. It gets better when they eat more finger foods. Most of my kids don't even use bottles at daycare at 9 months honestly except right before nap time. Is that weird? They just don't want them. I end up wasting milk. They prefer sippy cups in their high chair while they eat.

[Gemma]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Logged out for privacy.

I've got a dcm who has recently started telling me when to feed dck (9 months), when to put him down for nap, when to feed him, etc. This is not a new client, and they only come a couple days a week.

I just follow my regular schedule and feed him when he's hungry, put him down for his long nap with the rest of the kids (my recharge time), etc. It's always worked for me.

She messaged me earlier telling me to feed him a bottle at X time before he goes down at X time. He's already finished that bottle (1.5 hours earlier than she told me to) and I had to keep dcb from sleeping before feeding it to him, so he will be sleeping earlier than she said.

Is it rude to just ignore her demands? Should I respond next time she does it?

The first thing I let new parents know about my program, is that infants (0-12mo), eat and sleep on their own schedule...and after 12mos, they are on the group schedule (mine)

[Snowmom]

I wouldn't ignore it.

I'd probably say something like: "Hi DCM, I want to touch base about Joey's schedule. Now that he's approaching 10 months and reaching some important milestones, I will be transitioning him into the daycare schedule. This means I will fulfill his "on demand" needs up to 1 year old (feeding him when hungry, napping as his needs cue me to) and then getting him on the same schedule as all the other daycare kids for routine purposes. Our schedule is X. Thanks!"

I usually give little ones until 15-18 months for the two naps/day schedule. So, I would add that in.
Point being, she should be told that daycare needs are different than home needs and group care means getting on THAT schedule, not vs/vs.

Ugh, you guys.

Dcm brought me a written out schedule of what she wants his day to be like. Like with times, bottles, meals, naps - everything. I want to scream.

I'm going to follow his schedule and my schedule. But, I'm not sure if I should nip this in the bud and tell her that daycare has a schedule, and if she wants specialized care then she needs a nanny.

What do I do?

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Ugh, you guys.

Dcm brought me a written out schedule of what she wants his day to be like. Like with times, bottles, meals, naps - everything. I want to scream.

I'm going to follow his schedule and my schedule. But, I'm not sure if I should nip this in the bud and tell her that daycare has a schedule, and if she wants specialized care then she needs a nanny.

What do I do?

I think you answered your own question.

"I should nip this in the bud and tell her that daycare has a schedule, and if she wants specialized care then she needs a nanny. "


If you don't directly address it, she isn't going to listen.
It's your business..... stop letting her run it.

This is the hard part about this job but it's unavoidable.
You can delay it, but it will just foster resentment and will continue to be an issue.

[Cat Herder]

Just tell her no.

No.

That she is free to find other care if your program schedule does not meet her needs. She is being ridiculous. Group care is just that, Group care.

[Ariana]

I had a parent like this and no amount of talking to her about it helped so at the end of the day I just did what worked for me and kept her out of the loop. It made us both happier and the kids needs were being met on my watch which is what I’m being paid to do. The truth is WE know more about this stuff than most parents so trust the expert.