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tenderhearts 10:27 AM 10-14-2020
What would you do in this situation? I have one boy who arrives between 7:15 and 8. He always says he wants to eat yet as soon as he sits at the table he doesn't eat, he just sits there and plays around with his food or just stares at it, it's stuff he likes, his day says he eats some breakfast before he comes like an hour. This morning he wanted breakfast and I literally put 2 cherrios (no it's not right amount for food program) in his bowl and it took him 15 min to eat. I want to just not even offer him breakfast but he cried last time the others went in there to eat and he didn't yet he didn't want to eat. I even asked if he just wanted to sit there and he still said he wanted to. It's so irritating. Would you just not feed him?
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Ariana 10:44 AM 10-14-2020
He would no longer be served breakfast and he can cry all he wants
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Sunshine69 10:57 AM 10-14-2020
It depends on your food program rules.

Where I am, you only have to offer it or have enough of it on hand if they do want to eat it. For example, the two Cheerios are fine to give him as long as you have enough left in the cereal box to give him a full serving if he did eat the two Cheerios. If he doesn’t eat the two Cheerios, oh well, it was still available.

I give them smaller amounts than the recommended servings, too, because they drop and throw stuff on the floor. They don’t need to throw a whole serving of peas on the floor. Five peas is enough for me to pick up, as long as there’s enough peas in the pan to meet their serving requirements. Just because they don’t want to eat it doesn’t mean I need to give them the opportunity to throw it all on the floor.

For your situation, I would just verify with the parent he already ate and not even bother feeding him. I just wouldn’t count it as being served on the meal count sheet. The extra dishes to wash and dish soap and whatever he uses to wash up after eating just aren’t worth the $1.78 or whatever they’re paying today for one breakfast.
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Rockgirl 11:16 AM 10-14-2020
I serve the food to everyone...itís up to them whether they eat or not. I canít withhold food just because they normally donít eat it.
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Blackcat31 12:56 PM 10-14-2020
I serve to everyone. Eat or don't.

In the garbage or in their tummy.
Either way, it's gone and I am still reimbursed for it.
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tenderhearts 03:53 PM 10-14-2020
I agree that whether he eats it or not I get reimbursed but it's the going to the table and playing around because he doesn't want to eat, when this kid wants to eat he goes to town, no goofing around no issues it's just breakfast.
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Gemma 04:38 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by Ariana:
He would no longer be served breakfast and he can cry all he wants
This!
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Cat Herder 05:02 AM 10-15-2020
I am not on the food program, but my state just made food program rules core regulations.

I have to serve everyone at the table, at the same time, with menu posted in advance and be seated within arms reach of them while they smack and slurp. It is a great way to start my day.

I'd move breakfast time until after the morning arrival cutoff, after everyone is there. One time serving and cleaning up. For all.
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284878 05:42 AM 10-15-2020
I had a DCB that did this, I couldn't handle having him sit and cry. I talked his mom and explained that he was not eating breakfast (he came at 8:30) but eats snack at 9:45. He was at the time the only one in the morning. So she started feeding him breakfast. He now has others to eat with, so now he eats breakfast here again.
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knoxmomof2 06:10 AM 10-15-2020
I would still sit him down, offer him a minimal amount and remind him there's more when he finishes and see what happens. Based on your other comment, the first time he starts playing, remind him that the table is for eating, not playing and if he's done he can get up and go play. If he does it again, ask him if he's done. If yes, dismiss him. If not, warn him that he will have to leave the table and his food will be gone if he continues to play. When he starts messing around, tell him "it looks like you're done eating. Let's get you cleaned up and you can go play some more in the play area." That's how I would handle it the first time, to set the precedent that this is how it will go every time. After that, 1 reminder and then he's done.

When he fusses that he's hungry, remind him that he had the chance to eat, but he wanted to play instead so he'll have to try again next meal. It takes a few days, but they get the idea and the conversation about it stops because they know that it's in their control whether or not they remain at the table.

I have a saying, "tables are for eating, not playing." Obviously, they can talk and visit while they eat, but throwing food, kicking each other, etc isn't how we behave once we're a certain age.
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Blackcat31 06:46 AM 10-15-2020
I stopped serving breakfast. It solved alot of behavioral issues we had in the morning and it freed up a lot of my time to transition into the day in more stress free way.
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Cat Herder 06:49 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I stopped serving breakfast. It solved alot of behavioral issues we had in the morning and it freed up a lot of my time to transition into the day in more stress free way.
That sounds wonderful. I just don't want to give up the write-offs.
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Rockgirl 06:51 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
That sounds wonderful. I just don't want to give up the write-offs.
You could wait until a little later, call it Ďsnackí and still serve the breakfast components.
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Blackcat31 06:53 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
That sounds wonderful. I just don't want to give up the write-offs.


I serve snack at 9 a.m. and it has all the components of breakfast so it's counted as breakfast but we just don't use that word.

I then serve lunch and p.m. snack.

I still get the write off ...unless you mean tax wise and you write off breakfast, lunch and two snacks. Then I get where you are coming from but I've never claimed more than 2 meals and 1 snack so it works out the same for me.
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Cat Herder 07:03 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I serve snack at 9 a.m. and it has all the components of breakfast so it's counted as breakfast but we just don't use that word.

I then serve lunch and p.m. snack.

I still get the write off ...unless you mean tax wise and you write off breakfast, lunch and two snacks. Then I get where you are coming from but I've never claimed more than 2 meals and 1 snack so it works out the same for me.
I claim three meals and two snacks. I usually only serve dinner on Wednesdays and Fridays because of Church Night and Football/Band Night. Since COVID, I have been serving every night to help offset the stress/cost with older siblings at home. I may keep it as the parents really like it. Many have dance, gymnastics, karate, etc.

8:30, 10:30, 12:30, 3:00, 5:00.
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tenderhearts 08:26 AM 10-15-2020
Originally Posted by knoxmomof2:
I would still sit him down, offer him a minimal amount and remind him there's more when he finishes and see what happens. Based on your other comment, the first time he starts playing, remind him that the table is for eating, not playing and if he's done he can get up and go play. If he does it again, ask him if he's done. If yes, dismiss him. If not, warn him that he will have to leave the table and his food will be gone if he continues to play. When he starts messing around, tell him "it looks like you're done eating. Let's get you cleaned up and you can go play some more in the play area." That's how I would handle it the first time, to set the precedent that this is how it will go every time. After that, 1 reminder and then he's done.

When he fusses that he's hungry, remind him that he had the chance to eat, but he wanted to play instead so he'll have to try again next meal. It takes a few days, but they get the idea and the conversation about it stops because they know that it's in their control whether or not they remain at the table.

I have a saying, "tables are for eating, not playing." Obviously, they can talk and visit while they eat, but throwing food, kicking each other, etc isn't how we behave once we're a certain age.
Yes I do all this, I have the same rules but literally if i put 2 cherrios in his bowl he will sit and just play with it with his spoon and if I ask him if he's done after sitting there for 5 min not even eating 1 cherrio he will say yes, not eating a thing it's like he just enjoys going and doing it for some reason.
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AmyKidsCo 01:07 PM 10-16-2020
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I serve the food to everyone...itís up to them whether they eat or not. I canít withhold food just because they normally donít eat it.
Ditto. Everyone is offered the same food at the same time. It's their decision what to eat and how much.

I used to resent throwing away food until I read a comment here that the food was already paid for by the food program, whether it's consumed or not. Since then I don't care if they eat or not, and I think they can sense that because they actually eat better.
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Blackcat31 01:53 PM 10-16-2020
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
Ditto. Everyone is offered the same food at the same time. It's their decision what to eat and how much.

I used to resent throwing away food until I read a comment here that the food was already paid for by the food program, whether it's consumed or not. Since then I don't care if they eat or not, and I think they can sense that because they actually eat better.
Right?! 99.9% of food battles have nothing to do with food itself and more about control or power.

Once that is removed from the equation, it's amazing how stress free meals/snacks are.
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284878 05:38 AM 10-17-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Right?! 99.9% of food battles have nothing to do with food itself and more about control or power.

Once that is removed from the equation, it's amazing how stress free meals/snacks are.

I have a school age child that is overly tired in the morning . One morning, I set the tray of cups on the table and the tray of bowls. Everyone grab their bowl and cup and sat down. He sat down and spent the next hour demanding that I pass out his cup and bowl. He is the oldest child that I have, I told him no that he can get it himself. He said the table the whole mealtime plus, his choice, telling me to give him his bowl and cup. He did not eat that morning. (the trays were set closest to him and anybody else, he didn't really even need to get up just stretch his arms and reach his cup and bowl)


The next day I did the same thing and he sat at his chair again but this time when I gave the 10 minute warning, I got up grabbed his bowl and cup and ate as fast as he could.
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Tags:breakfast, won't eat
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