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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My Vent For The Day
Lucy 09:04 AM 04-18-2012
I knew it was coming. I just knew it. Mom works at a CPA office and, I admit, has been working really hard, including Saturdays, for a few months. So I don't begrudge her taking today off, since yesterday was tax filing day.

However.... this is my mom who NEVER keeps her kids home when she is home. They still come first thing in the morning, and are never picked up before 5:30 pm (their contracted time). So this morning, it gets to be 8:00 and they normally come between 7:30 and 7:45. (No, I don't mind her being a little late) My suspicion was growing. At 8:05 she comes, in jeans, yawning, saying "oh, it was hard to get up to that alarm today!" I said, "oh, looks like they gave you the day off", she paused as if she'd been caught, and proceeds to confirm it, and to say she thought she'd go to the mall.

Ok, so you have the day off.... wouldn't you want to sleep in a little bit?? Obviously she set an alarm so that her kids could be here at only a little bit past their normal time. And if you're sooooo exhausted, wouldn't you want to just stay home in your jammies or bathrobe and cuddle with your 3 yr old girl? OR... it's late start school day today. Why not go ahead and take the 8 yr old to school at 10:00, and THEN bring the 3 yr old to me?? And I'll bet you ANYTHING she comes at 5:30 this evening. No way could she be "bothered" to pick up those pesky kids early. Oh my goodness, no.

Snarky? Yes. This is also my mom I've posted about before who gives me not-so-subtle reminders to feed her kids breakfast. It stopped for awhile, but today as she was leaving, she says "don't forget to eat breakfast, kids!" Come on, lady. Would I forget to feed them? And reminding THEM is just silly, as they have nothing to do with the serving of breakfast. It's obviously a reminder to ME that they didn't eat at home. I offer breakfast, but she knows that hers are the only ones who aren't fed at home.

I love these kids. I've had the 8 yr old boy since birth, and then the 3 yr old girl once she was born. They're my favorites right now. I want to work with them at least through Kindergarten year for the 3 yr old. So no option, in my mind, of terming them. But this mom (and dad... there are stories about him too, but I won't bore you) drives me absolutely NUTS. No, they don't break rules, per se, but they are just irritating in the fact that they don't want to spend any more time with their kids than necessary. I vent to my husband all the time, and he sees my point, but reminds me that they are contracted for 10 hrs a day, 50 hrs a week, and that they get no deductions for time not in attendance, whether the kids are sick, the parents are sick, I am sick (which never happens) or I am on vacation (very limited), so she wants to "get her money's worth". I'm sorry, but spending time with my kids for a few hours, or even a full day, would be a reward. I really don't understand the thinking.

Sorry that you had to read all that. Thank you, if you got through it. I feel better!!
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Unregistered 09:42 AM 04-18-2012
I know exactly how you feel. I have a family with two boys who have the exact same attitude~they are the FIRST to arrive and the LAST to leave, to the MINUTE. Mom is working and Dad is retired/stays at home. They're an "older" couple so my thoughts are that 2 boys is overwhelming for them. Still, I don't see any real need for why they would need my full-time care. It's so frustrating because I don't have children of my own (yet) and I would love the opportunity to spend time with my kids! The parents are the ones missing out, just look at it that way. Sadly the kids suffer in the long run.
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Unregistered 09:46 AM 04-18-2012
I know how you feel! I have a family that is exactly like that. They are the FIRST to arrive, and the LAST to leave-to the MINUTE. Dad is retired and stays home and mom works, yet they still require full-time care for their 2 boys. The 2 boys are rowdy and their behavior is challenging, so I can see that Mom/Dad are overwhelmed but what these kids need is time at home with their parents!!! I just don't get it. Just look at it this way-the parents are the ones missing out Sadly the kids suffer in the long run.
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Crazy8 09:51 AM 04-18-2012
totally understand your vent and have BTDT. I had a teacher who had the ENTIRE week off for Spring Break and couldn't find ONE DAY to spend with her child. NOT ONE DAY!!! She'd bring a little late because the child is a sleeper, but pick up was never a SECOND early that week!!!

I am ok with a little "me" time here and there and I'd understand a CPA being beat after crazy tax season (but I know your complaint is because this is not just an occassional thing) but when you can't find ONE day out of FIVE to do something fun with your little one??? INSANE!!

And I've never understood the "well, I'm paying for it" mentality. I had a family where the children's grandmother was visiting from out of state and yet mom brought kids all week for FULL DAYS simply because "she's paying for it anyway". How about letting them spend time with the grandma who came to see them????
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skittles 10:01 AM 04-18-2012
ok I have to reply this is the newest thing. Not people leaving their kids in daycare to spend me time on their days off but leaving their SICK kids at daycare so they can go shopping. Not kidding this has happened several times this past month. Last Friday I called a mom to come pick up her sick 6 month old (101.0 F) at 9:30 am. She arrives at my house saying she thought I was going to call so she had decided to shop locally because she kinda "suspected he may have been sick but she was not sure." She just had a lot of errands to run so she thought she would drop him off anyways. Ok so I tell her well at least he has the weekend to rest. She brings him back on Monday, and tell me "oh he was fine on Friday, I got home and his temp was 99.9 F so YOU must have just over heated him. UMMMM no! I had another mom bring her child here sick so she could go work out at the gym. UMM no bring your sick child home. Lately, I have had a lot of parents in deniel about their kids sickness, not sure what is going on out there. They are either sick or not.
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JenNJ 10:05 AM 04-18-2012
I can understand where you are coming from, but before you judge, remember that you only see a snapshot of your clients lives.

I once was annoyed with a set of dc parents who took a lot days off and dropped dcb here all day. They went away on vacation -- twice -- without him. About 6 months later I got the news that they were divorcing. Those "days off" were part of the marriage counseling and a last ditch effort to save the marriage. The vacations were taken apart as time to reflect on what they both needed in marriage and life.

Since then I have had clients struggle with medical issues, sick family members, job losses, and depression. I don't usually know the circumstances until afterwards. I know there are crappy parents, but please do try to remember she may not be totally honest with you. She can have other things going on in life that have nothing to do with her love for her kids.
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Country Kids 10:16 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I can understand where you are coming from, but before you judge, remember that you only see a snapshot of your clients lives.

I once was annoyed with a set of dc parents who took a lot days off and dropped dcb here all day. They went away on vacation -- twice -- without him. About 6 months later I got the news that they were divorcing. Those "days off" were part of the marriage counseling and a last ditch effort to save the marriage. The vacations were taken apart as time to reflect on what they both needed in marriage and life.

Since then I have had clients struggle with medical issues, sick family members, job losses, and depression. I don't usually know the circumstances until afterwards. I know there are crappy parents, but please do try to remember she may not be totally honest with you. She can have other things going on in life that have nothing to do with her love for her kids.
Very true but........when we need a day of for sickness,personal day,whatever, even if they are in our contracts how many of these same clients give us grief. Thats what upsets me. We are to be there all the time for them but if we need some time it like pulling nails to get them to understand. Thats whats is upsetting sometimes.
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Lucy 10:23 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I can understand where you are coming from, but before you judge, remember that you only see a snapshot of your clients lives.

I once was annoyed with a set of dc parents who took a lot days off and dropped dcb here all day. They went away on vacation -- twice -- without him. About 6 months later I got the news that they were divorcing. Those "days off" were part of the marriage counseling and a last ditch effort to save the marriage. The vacations were taken apart as time to reflect on what they both needed in marriage and life.

Since then I have had clients struggle with medical issues, sick family members, job losses, and depression. I don't usually know the circumstances until afterwards. I know there are crappy parents, but please do try to remember she may not be totally honest with you. She can have other things going on in life that have nothing to do with her love for her kids.
I get that, but I have known this mom for 8.5 years. Yes, it's possible there could be something I don't know about, but I feel like I have a pretty good insight here. And I would maybe agree if this was a newer thing, but it has gone on for the entire 8.5 years. No changes in her personality, attitudes, moods, or anything else. Just takes sick days and vacation days and continues to bring her kids here. I'm pretty confident she just has the mentality that "I'm paying for 50 hours a week, I'm going to GET 50 hours a week."

The dad has a bad shoulder. He stayed home on work comp for SEVEN MONTHS with it. I feel like he's the type to work the system. He works for the city and supposedly can't be fired because it's a work injury, so he milked it for everything he could get. And you know what? The kids never stayed home ONE MINUTE with the dad. I take that back.... he picked up the 8 yr old boy a couple times for a cub scout thing. But that was maybe at 4:30. He would even come to "drop something off" in the middle of the day, saying he was on his way to this place or that. I would always think "why couldn't you keep the kids a few hours in the morning at the very least? Or pick them up after you're done going to this place or that?"

It really isn't about me wanting their kids to not be here, it's the mentality of shipping their kids off when they are home and could be spending time together.

I do get what you are saying, but I really don't think there are underlying issues here. Just parents that can't be bothered. And I should say, they are nothing but wonderful when they DO have their kids. We live in a small town and see them out and about together, and everybody seems happy. They DO take their son to cub scouts and sports, and their 3 yr old to swim lessons. Just wanted to put that out there. I'm not accusing them of being neglectful parents. I just get irked when there is the opportunity for the kids to stay home, and they don't. I have other families who, if they get off an hour or two early, they pick up the kid. If dad and/or mom has a day off, the kid stays home, etc. Oh well, some people just think differently I guess.
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Lucy 10:24 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
totally understand your vent and have BTDT. I had a teacher who had the ENTIRE week off for Spring Break and couldn't find ONE DAY to spend with her child. NOT ONE DAY!!! She'd bring a little late because the child is a sleeper, but pick up was never a SECOND early that week!!!

I am ok with a little "me" time here and there and I'd understand a CPA being beat after crazy tax season (but I know your complaint is because this is not just an occassional thing) but when you can't find ONE day out of FIVE to do something fun with your little one??? INSANE!!

And I've never understood the "well, I'm paying for it" mentality. I had a family where the children's grandmother was visiting from out of state and yet mom brought kids all week for FULL DAYS simply because "she's paying for it anyway". How about letting them spend time with the grandma who came to see them????
Oh, THIS exactly!!!!
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angelicpretty 10:32 AM 04-18-2012
Sorry that unregistered person was me!! I kept clicking and it wouldn't let me post-now I see it posted twice! Sorry!
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AmyLeigh 10:34 AM 04-18-2012
Two of my dcm's work at a tax office. They have today off, I don't.

These two are really good moms, though, and deserve some time to rest after putting in 7 days a week in for the last month.
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countrymom 10:36 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by country kids:
very true but........when we need a day of for sickness,personal day,whatever, even if they are in our contracts how many of these same clients give us grief. Thats what upsets me. We are to be there all the time for them but if we need some time it like pulling nails to get them to understand. Thats whats is upsetting sometimes.
yes!!!!this is so true
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Lucy 10:39 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
Two of my dcm's work at a tax office. They have today off, I don't.

These two are really good moms, though, and deserve some time to rest after putting in 7 days a week in for the last month.
And yes, I do agree with this. It was just yet another example of this mom. I saw it coming, and it came. But still.... she SET AN ALARM so she could bring the kids almost on time!!! Sleep in.... stay home till it's time to take the boy to late start day at school.
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Heidi 10:41 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
And yes, I do agree with this. It was just yet another example of this mom. I saw it coming, and it came. But still.... she SET AN ALARM so she could bring the kids almost on time!!! Sleep in.... stay home till it's time to take the boy to late start day at school.
is there any chance she didn't want to let her sleep because it would mess up your routine?

She probably didn't think that through, but if her 3yo had slept in, your nap time would be compromised...

there's your silver lining
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Lucy 11:34 AM 04-18-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
is there any chance she didn't want to let her sleep because it would mess up your routine?

She probably didn't think that through, but if her 3yo had slept in, your nap time would be compromised...

there's your silver lining
Ha. Nice try. LOL. She wouldn't have thought it through, as you said.

Also, I wouldn't have cared. I'm flexible on naps. If someone stays up for whatever reason, they are always quiet and play nicely and I can have my afternoon diet coke with my laptop
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