The Strong Willed Child

[momneedscoffee]

Looking for advice on parenting/caring for a strong willed child. My 3 yr old son is very, very strong willed. Always has been. Very rarely is he compliant to what I would like him to do. Even the simplest thing. Always feels the need to do things his own way. Loves to "do it MY self". Extremely persistent. Always moving, always busy. Always the leader, never the follower. Is also very mischievous. Fearless. I myself am quite the opposite. I think that all of his qualities will take him very far as an adult, but make for a very challenging preschooler. I don't want to cause him to lose his will, I just want to find a better method of getting him to do what he needs to without having to argue or fight. Open to any personal advice/opinions, books, anything!
Thanks

[mamamanda]

Choices...lots of choices. Instead of saying "Put on your shoes," you might ask "Would you rather put on your tennis shoes or your sandals?" Give him a way to do it himself while still doing what you wanted him to do in the first place.
Also, for your own sanity, give him extra time to complete a task. For example, if you know you need to leave the house in 20 minutes and you want him to gather his bag and put on his shoes don't wait to have him do that at the last minute. Start ahead of time so that when the fit comes you're not stressed out about being late on top of everything else.
Biggest thing that has helped us...don't overreact. You tell your child to do such and such and they refuse. Rather than yelling, nagging, reminding...make the child responsible. My son kept refusing to pick up his toys. It was a daily battle until the day I calmly and quietly picked up the toys for him. Then instead of putting them where they belong I put them out of reach in my closet and he had to earn them back by cleaning up after himself for a few days. Suddenly, picking up the first time I asked was more important to him. Natural/logical consequences are your best friend.
My favorite book on the topic is "Have a New Kid by Friday!" by Kevin Leman. Good luck to you! I know strong willed kids are tough. I have one! But if they're taught well they make awesome adults

[momneedscoffee]

Thank you! Your advide is helpful. I will definitely check out that book. I'm currently reading the 5 languages of love for children.