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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Must Be In The Air Today....
Blackcat31 11:07 AM 12-17-2010
I have a 3.5 yr old dcg. Mom drops off at 8 this morning. She says she won't be at work but has a few errands to run and will be at the library most of the day to research some stuff for classes she takes in college. Well little girl gets diarrhea (3X and the explosive kind) and I start calling her cell (only phone she has) and get no response around 8:45. She has no voice mail so I am only hoping she notices the missed call. I call again at 9, 9:30, 9:45 and so on.....Finally at around noon I call the library (my Aunt works there so I have an inside contact) and ask if the mom's been there yet today...nope they haven't seen her all day...Hmmm? Where would you go and not be reachable for your child? I just don't understand!! Anyways I call the 2 people she has on her emergency contact list and neither answer! So in my frustration, I call the Police Department and asked their community service officer if he could go to mom's apartment and let her know she is being searched for!
Needless to say, DCM comes in about an hour later and acts like nothing happened...I ask her if she got my message and she says no. I told her I called her phone like 50 times and she say, "Oh, I had it on silent because i was at the library all morning." I said "No you weren't! I called and talked to my aunt and you haven't been there all day, do you want me to call and asked her again?" DCM says "No." Anyways after a bit more lecturing from me about being responsible and not leaving your child unless you are reachable, she leaves like I am the bad guy!!!!! This is the 3rd time I've had an issue reaching mom before so I told he rfrom now on that I wil do call checks and if she doesn't respond within 10 minutes she will be termed IMMEDIATELY! I just don't get some parents!! I left like 20 numbers to find me when I left my kids anywhere!!! I also called provider if I had any changes to where I'd be..Grrrrrrr. Had to vent!!

I just want to add that I would normally never resort to calling the police but I have had some issues with this mom before and she has some mental health issues as well so all of that does play a part in her actions. Of course none of it is bad enough that CPS ever does anything about it but I still try. Which is half the reaosn I don't term...This mom has a 15 yr old that i used to have before he went to Kindergarten so I feel for the kids but I can only put up with so many things in one day....and she is also the type of mom that doesn't ever seem to get it no matter what I say or do.
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dEHmom 11:26 AM 12-17-2010
Sorry to hear that!
Hope your day goes better, and that you're not going to be ill. Especially this time of year.
Pump up your Vitamin C now, spray everything down with lysol, and put yourself in a big bubble!
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laundrymom 11:30 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Sorry to hear that!
, and put yourself in a big bubble!
lol,... this is something one of my daymoms said to me last week when I called in sick,.... she said,..
germs even find the lady who lives in the bubble,.....
lol. shes an infectious disease nurse. lol
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dEHmom 11:36 AM 12-17-2010
lol. just sucks that by the time symptoms appear its already to late. I mean your kids, or you, can be contagious sometimes WEEKS before the onset of symptoms.

I hate germs. I'm not a germaphobe, but just wish there was some way. Spray some sort of dye that illuminates anything that is contaminated before you come in contact with it.
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MyAngels 11:46 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a 3.5 yr old dcg. Mom drops off at 8 this morning. She says she won't be at work but has a few errands to run and will be at the library most of the day to research some stuff for classes she takes in college. Well little girl gets diarrhea (3X and the explosive kind) and I start calling her cell (only phone she has) and get no response around 8:45. She has no voice mail so I am only hoping she notices the missed call. I call again at 9, 9:30, 9:45 and so on.....Finally at around noon I call the library (my Aunt works there so I have an inside contact) and ask if the mom's been there yet today...nope they haven't seen her all day...Hmmm? Where would you go and not be reachable for your child? I just don't understand!! Anyways I call the 2 people she has on her emergency contact list and neither answer! So in my frustration, I call the Police Department and asked their community service officer if he could go to mom's apartment and let her know she is being searched for!
Needless to say, DCM comes in about an hour later and acts like nothing happened...I ask her if she got my message and she says no. I told her I called her phone like 50 times and she say, "Oh, I had it on silent because i was at the library all morning." I said "No you weren't! I called and talked to my aunt and you haven't been there all day, do you want me to call and asked her again?" DCM says "No." Anyways after a bit more lecturing from me about being responsible and not leaving your child unless you are reachable, she leaves like I am the bad guy!!!!! This is the 3rd time I've had an issue reaching mom before so I told he rfrom now on that I wil do call checks and if she doesn't respond within 10 minutes she will be termed IMMEDIATELY! I just don't get some parents!! I left like 20 numbers to find me when I left my kids anywhere!!! I also called provider if I had any changes to where I'd be..Grrrrrrr. Had to vent!!

I just want to add that I would normally never resort to calling the police but I have had some issues with this mom before and she has some mental health issues as well so all of that does play a part in her actions. Of course none of it is bad enough that CPS ever does anything about it but I still try. Which is half the reaosn I don't term...This mom has a 15 yr old that i used to have before he went to Kindergarten so I feel for the kids but I can only put up with so many things in one day....and she is also the type of mom that doesn't ever seem to get it no matter what I say or do.
Just out of curiosity, did she ever say where she was? I guess I'm nosey today .
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dEHmom 11:50 AM 12-17-2010
she was with the mail man!
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Blackcat31 12:04 PM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Just out of curiosity, did she ever say where she was? I guess I'm nosey today .
No, after she claimed she was at the library and I called her out on her lie she just sort of kept her head down (I was kind of going off on her because I was soooo frustrated) and I also forgot to add that my DH comes in to daycare every day for lunch and he passed her about 1/2 hour before she showed up at the daycare and he passed her coming off a highway that is NO WHERE near the library or her house..or my daycare either for that matter..... so maybe she was with the mailman?!!?
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DCMomOf3 12:10 PM 12-17-2010
Is she married? I would hope she is not sneaking around if she is! Ack!
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Blackcat31 12:33 PM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by DCMomOf3:
Is she married? I would hope she is not sneaking around if she is! Ack!
nope not married.....(and I probably shouldnt even say this but has been to court like 3 times because every guy she pins the father thing on turns out not to be the dad)

In all honesty, this mom really takes alot of the advice and things I tell her to heart. She tries to be respectful of my rules and I think she does things she doesn't tell me about because she thinks I will look down on her or think badly of her for the things she does. She is kind of a life long user of the system and really doesn't know any other way of living. She does try to do what is best for her kids but I truly believe that 99% of what she does that frustrates me, such as not being available when I call or bringing her child without shoes in winter or even showing up on days she isn't scheduled are due to the fact that she herself grew up in the foster care system and I really believe that she doesn't know any better. She does have mental health issues but I think everything is so borderline that she falls through the cracks. In regards to her children both her 15 yr old and her 3.5 yr old are happy healthy kids who have no physical or mental isues/disabilities. She also has zero family members so people on her emergency contact are just people she is friends with. I do give her a lot more lee-way than I give other parents but I still get frustrated when I can't find her because I feel like I am always wondering what if it was a bad emergency and not just diarrhea.....

Wow! I post an angry vent about her and then end up sticking up for her....who's the strange one now?!?!
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dEHmom 12:40 PM 12-17-2010
You have every right to do so Blackcat.

It's not that we're picking on her, but we didn't know all the background info.

I apologize if I was disrespectful at all towards her or you in that matter.

And you are right with regards to falling through the cracks and how being in the system growing up alters who you can/should be when you're older. If you're in foster care, even if you receive all the love in the world, you'll still know that you were rejected for some reason or another by your real parents, and therefore, in a sense, feel lost your whole life.

Just explain to her that it's not like you call her everyday. If there is ever a time when you call her, it's because you HAVE to. And there needs to be a guarantee that you can get ahold of her somehow. It's frustrating, and you might have to leave a message for her on her phone, but she should be checking it regularly then.
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e.j. 07:22 PM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wow! I post an angry vent about her and then end up sticking up for her....who's the strange one now?!?!
Not strange at all! It sounds as though you have a great deal of empathy and patience when it comes to this mom.
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SilverSabre25 09:18 PM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by e.j.:
Not strange at all! It sounds as though you have a great deal of empathy and patience when it comes to this mom.
Ditto--it sucks that you had to deal with that, but at least she is open to suggestions/advice. Tell her that the next time she is somewhere that her phone needs to not ring, put it on vibrate, not silent, and check it frequently so that she knows if someone called.
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