Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do Your Kids Play?
Unregistered 10:28 AM 12-03-2014
Is it just me, or do you find that a lot of kids don't know how to play? I feel like I've had the same problem repeatedly with the last few families I've taken care of. I spend the first month or so trying to teach the children how to entertain themselves with the toys. I have to say, "Go play" many times each day. I feel like all I do is redirect kids back to the toys. If I sit in the floor to play with them, everyone is happy. But self-directed play is severely lacking. And most babies cry to be held constantly. I have a 3 month old so I understand wanting to hold & cuddle them. I spend a lot of time playing with my kids & giving them undivided attention, but when its time to make dinner & clean up, etc., my kids are expected to entertain themselves for a while. Even my three month old plays happily on a blanket nearby while I work. I don't understand how parents get anything done. One little lady I care for (9 mo) cries a hard cry anytime I'm not focusing on her. I get up to change a diaper...crying. I get up to help another child...crying. And I don't have the time or the patience to entertain her all day so there is a whole lot of crying. My poor nerves. Lol What are your thoughts? Is it just a coincidence that I've run into this repeatedly, or is it the style of parenting? When I was a kid no one taught you to play. It was just something you did. Maybe the wide use of television at home causes them to be bored here since I rarely turn it on? I don't know. Just curious if anyone else struggles with this too.
daycarediva 10:54 AM 12-03-2014
I absolutely struggle with it as well. No matter how hard I screen at interview. I find that the kids who DO play, play limited versions of TV shows. They also need a TON of attention when doing so. "LOOK AT ME. I AM _______!!"
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
Annalee 11:02 AM 12-03-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I absolutely struggle with it as well. No matter how hard I screen at interview. I find that the kids who DO play, play limited versions of TV shows. They also need a TON of attention when doing so. "LOOK AT ME. I AM _______!!"
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
It is a self-indulged generation right now, but if your look around, we have a generation of adults this way as well! I absolutely struggle with it as well. No matter how hard I screen at interview. I find that the kids who DO play, play limited versions of TV shows. They also need a TON of attention when doing so. "LOOK AT ME. I AM _______!!"
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
DaveA 04:13 AM 12-04-2014
I have one who I call my "shuffler" because he just shuffles from other kids' plans. He almost never initiates play on his own. Too much TV, too much time on DCM's iPhone, too much DCPs hovering over him, too few toys that actually require imagination.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:54 AM 12-04-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I absolutely struggle with it as well. No matter how hard I screen at interview. I find that the kids who DO play, play limited versions of TV shows. They also need a TON of attention when doing so. "LOOK AT ME. I AM _______!!"
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
Same as this. When they tell me look at me I never look. If they want to show me something they have to say, "May I please show you something?" and then I will look. If they say, "I built a tower!!!" I will say, "You built a tower!" if they don't say anything and just show me a car they are playing with (this, strangely, happens so often) I will say, "A car!" My kids are all 2.5-almost 5 here right now. I absolutely struggle with it as well. No matter how hard I screen at interview. I find that the kids who DO play, play limited versions of TV shows. They also need a TON of attention when doing so. "LOOK AT ME. I AM _______!!"
I do a LOT of modeling play. A LOT. Then I step back, watch how it goes and intervene when they start to leave to get them reinterested. I have had moderate success with a few of my kids. The rest, even after months and months----nothing.
I do take a bigger step back after I see that they CAN play and are just choosing not to. I also try to rotate toys frequently to keep their interest. We never do TV here.
KiddieCahoots 07:27 AM 12-04-2014
It's almost like we have to rewire their brains to become creative with play. The hovering stifles the creativity, as well as other things.
Too bad some of parents don't understand this part of parenting.
I do what daycarediva does, start the activity or toy getting them involved, then step back. When they start to get bored, either show them another aspect of the toy for play, while asking questions directed to what we are doing, or start with a new activity or toy. I like to consider it planting the seeds into their brains, and watching them grow with it, while guiding them....they eventually get it.
Too bad some of parents don't understand this part of parenting.
I do what daycarediva does, start the activity or toy getting them involved, then step back. When they start to get bored, either show them another aspect of the toy for play, while asking questions directed to what we are doing, or start with a new activity or toy. I like to consider it planting the seeds into their brains, and watching them grow with it, while guiding them....they eventually get it.
midaycare 07:28 AM 12-04-2014
Mine do play. A lot. I have the daycare set up so it is pretty much all imaginative play and also things like a balance beam, stepping stones, slide, cones to run around. Everything isn't all set out at once, but I do set it up quite a bit.
I have very few electronic toys or things that make noise. I think that helps. Everyone adores the ball pit, but it's a commitment. I chase around balls all day. I don't mind. I have a few who go in there and read
.
I have very few electronic toys or things that make noise. I think that helps. Everyone adores the ball pit, but it's a commitment. I chase around balls all day. I don't mind. I have a few who go in there and read
.
permanentvacation 07:30 AM 12-04-2014
Kids do not know how to play nowadays because they expect the toys to 'do something'. Many kids from infancy are given their parents' cell phone to occupy themselves. From infancy, kids are taught that they just sit there, holding an item, pushing a button or two and the item is coming to life to entertain them. So, when they are given non-technical toys such as blocks, baby dolls, cars, etc. The child can't figure out why the toy isn't doing something to excite them!
Parents do not sit with their child and play with them. They don't teach children to take the little plastic man and make him walk to the doll house, make him 'talk' to the little plastic woman in the house. They do not sit with their child and build a house out of Legos, they don't do anything with their children to teach them how to pretend. So their kids don't know how to play and pretend. They just know how to hold an item, push buttons, and wait for the item to entertain them.
Parents do not sit with their child and play with them. They don't teach children to take the little plastic man and make him walk to the doll house, make him 'talk' to the little plastic woman in the house. They do not sit with their child and build a house out of Legos, they don't do anything with their children to teach them how to pretend. So their kids don't know how to play and pretend. They just know how to hold an item, push buttons, and wait for the item to entertain them.
permanentvacation 08:24 AM 12-04-2014
Here's my concern:
It has been found through researching and interviewing murderers that pretty much every murderer did not play as a child. It is a characteristic of murderers to not have pretended/played 'free play' as a child. So, since so many children nowadays do not pretend or creatively play 'free play', how many more murderers are being created?
It has been found through researching and interviewing murderers that pretty much every murderer did not play as a child. It is a characteristic of murderers to not have pretended/played 'free play' as a child. So, since so many children nowadays do not pretend or creatively play 'free play', how many more murderers are being created?
craftymissbeth 08:25 AM 12-04-2014
I have a 2 yo dcg whose first words to me every morning are "B, can I watch a movie?"
And every morning I tell her in front of DCD that we don't watch movies here. He just tells her she can wait til she gets home
And every morning I tell her in front of DCD that we don't watch movies here. He just tells her she can wait til she gets home
Meli3773 06:23 AM 12-05-2014
I have also found that little ones don't know how to "play". It seems that they are getting constant undivided attention from their parents. With my own children, I bought them educational toys, I showed them how to use them, and played with them. BUT, if I needed to get things done then they knew I expected them to play and entertain themselves. I taught them how to do this. It saves your sanity! I know all children are different, so I don't expect the same thing out of each one but it's still best to teach them these skills.
My DC kids are all only children, so they do get extra attention it seems. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that is constantly saying "look at (this or that)"! I get the impression they must praise every little thing he does. And my 18 month old girl would rather just sit on your lap and do nothing just to get attention rather than play. I know for a fact the she is not starved for attention. This DCM has told me multiple times "I just want her happy" so this little girl basically gets everything she wants. I feel bad because I feel like I'm the one who has to give them tough love. I'm constantly telling all the kids to go play. I try to be honest with the parents and let them know what how their child's day went and what would help make their child happier here in hopes that they will make some changes. It's really difficult and it feels like you are fighting an uphill battle.
My DC kids are all only children, so they do get extra attention it seems. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that is constantly saying "look at (this or that)"! I get the impression they must praise every little thing he does. And my 18 month old girl would rather just sit on your lap and do nothing just to get attention rather than play. I know for a fact the she is not starved for attention. This DCM has told me multiple times "I just want her happy" so this little girl basically gets everything she wants. I feel bad because I feel like I'm the one who has to give them tough love. I'm constantly telling all the kids to go play. I try to be honest with the parents and let them know what how their child's day went and what would help make their child happier here in hopes that they will make some changes. It's really difficult and it feels like you are fighting an uphill battle.