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  #1  
Old 01-21-2012, 07:57 PM
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Exclamation I Need Some Opinions Please...(Warning - Sensitive Issue)

I'm a registered user, but I need to log out to discuss this...its a sensitive issue.

This past week, a staff member alerted me to the fact that one of the boys in my room was in the restroom and she saw what looked like blood in his underwear. I checked it out and it was in fact blood where his penis would rest, and the spots were in different stages of drying. I asked him what happened, and he said he'd hurt his "peepee" on the table. I was quite alarmed, and pulled his pants up and took him straight to my director.

I showed her the bloodstains (I asked the child's permission). The director looked at his private, (despite my warnings that it was probably not a good idea), and you could see that it was an injury that could not have been caused by bumping into a table, although that probably aggravated it. We called mom and she was quite nonchalant, she said that his penis does bleed sometimes due to an error in circumcision, and she'd take him to the Dr. Monday (!). I wrote up an incident report and sent it home. A while later I get a call from the Director saying that the child was now saying my assistant pushed him into the table, and I should call the mom. And say what? I wasn't in the room with him at the time, I was supervising another group of children and everything I knew, I had already told the mom. I may add that this child will say things that aren't true or exaggerated when put on the spot...

I feel this is going to come crashing down on my head, even though I've done what I should have. This is not the first thing that I had very little to do with, that has fallen down on me. Some questions in my mind:

1. If the mom knew of this situation, wasn't she negligent for not letting me know? Especially with the child being in a high energy environment like daycare, there are opportunities for little boys to bump their penises all day long.

2. Was I negligent for not knowing? I don't usually follow four-year-olds into the restroom, but should I? I'm always walking by to make sure no one needs help or is stopping up the toilet, but I don't look in their underwear or at their privates.

3. I've been looking for another job for quite some time, and been unsuccessful. I feel this little incidents of children being hurt are signs for me to get away quickly, before something big happens and I go down with the ship. But I do feel that when I leave, something WILL happen.

I would like other's opinions on this.
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  #2  
Old 01-21-2012, 08:15 PM
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what is your position at the daycare? why is this not being handled between the teacher caring for this child and the director?
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Old 01-21-2012, 11:54 PM
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I'm totally not trying to criticize, so please don't take this badly, but this whole thing had me going

How did a female staff member just happen to notice what looked like blood in this boy's underwear??? Do they go in the bathroom with them? I guess that is allowed in some states. (Not in mine, which is why it surprised me). So even if she IS in there legitimately, why is she looking in that area while the boy is peeing? Just seems a little odd to me.

You "checked it out" ?? That seems a little invasive to me. Then you put him through a 2nd "showing" for your director? Yes, I read where you said it was with the boy's permission, but it doesn't seem to me that he is old enough to give consent to this. As a mother, I would be angry that my son was asked not once, but twice, to pull down his pants and show his penis to a non-medical person. I would have wanted to be told something like "a staff member noticed blood in your son's underwear", and not ".... so we had him pull his pants down so we could inspect his penis..."

I would understand calling cps for advice, but not taking it upon yourself to inspect him.

I don't know... again, I don't mean to criticize, but it just seems to me that this should have been handled a little more delicately. Unless it's a diapered child, I don't think he should be requested to show his privates to adults for any reason. Except a doctor, of course.

Just my opinion. I know you are looking out for his best interests, but it just shocked me I guess.
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Old 01-21-2012, 11:55 PM
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I wouldn't leave right away, that would make you look guilty.
I would just write out what you saw, said and did. Let the teacher that noticed the blood first handle and the director handle the rest.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:35 AM
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PP here.

Clarifying:

I am lead over this "grade" but there are two different groups. I was with the other group (from this boy) at the time, but anything that happens with those childen involves me...

The way the restrooms are set up, teachers can see in case anyone needs help. The staff member (another assistant) peeked in when she saw him standing their staring at his underwear and came and got me.

When I say "checked out" I mean I looked at his underwear. When I "showed my director", I showed his underwear. His penis was still covered by his shirt. I at no time touched or inspected this child's penis. The director did, against my advice. Joyce, how you describe is how I thought it should have been handled, but my director took over and handled things another way.

This whole "treating the kids like our own" thing is what makes me feel the need to leave. These children, in fact, are not our own and we should handle things more on protocol.
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:13 PM
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I think his penis just bleeds on occassion so I would probe the mom to see when this usually happens and whether or not it happens with regular play before blaming an assistant for pushing him into a table. Since this happens regularly I don't necessarily believe anything sinister happened at all. Maybe she accidentally bumped him? I do that pretty often to kids by accident!!

As far as protocol for looking at his penis I have no idea as I've never been in this type of situation but likely would have handled things similar to the way you did. I do think the director took a misstep in looking at the penis herself but I don't think any malice was intended. Definately unprofessional I suppose.
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Old 01-23-2012, 05:09 AM
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I've had a child in care with circumcision problems. His penis was a mess until he had corrective surgery when he was 6. His penis would often sting, bleed, be raw and hurt to pee. There were periods of time he could only "go" in the tub under water because it was so painful.

I would give Mom a chance to explain the medical reasoning behind the injury.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:35 AM
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Default privacy vs. common sense

This is in response to the woman who was shocked that anyone would check a child's underwear, or inspect a childs bleeding penis. Really? your shocked, as a mother I would expect a caregiver to use common sense over (Maybe getting in trouble because of our paranoid society) Also a four year old is not that great at wiping after a bowel movement so you mean to tell me the caregiver shouldn't be checking underwear to see if they are clean? That will cause infection. You handled it just right and used common sense by noticing the blood and did what needed to be done!!!
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:41 AM
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OMG Meyou that is so sad
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  #10  
Old 01-23-2012, 07:47 AM
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1. No, I don't feel she was negligent for not letting you know; it may have never come up and it's possible she doesn't make a big deal out of it for her son's sake or for her own horrible guilt that it happened in the first place.

2. No, you were not negligent for not knowing, although I'm not sure what you mean by this--not knowing that it was bleeding or not knowing that it was a possibility? In either case, how could you have known?
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trobin2355 View Post
This is in response to the woman who was shocked that anyone would check a child's underwear, or inspect a childs bleeding penis. Really? your shocked, as a mother I would expect a caregiver to use common sense over (Maybe getting in trouble because of our paranoid society) Also a four year old is not that great at wiping after a bowel movement so you mean to tell me the caregiver shouldn't be checking underwear to see if they are clean? That will cause infection. You handled it just right and used common sense by noticing the blood and did what needed to be done!!!
I agree with you. This is same as looking for diaper rashes, scratches, unexplained bruises, you name it we have all seen things, so why does this make it any different.
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Old 01-23-2012, 09:47 AM
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I have a kid here with a botched circumcision, and if his blue jeans rub him wrong, after an hour or so, it's bleeding. He's little though.

When we potty trained him, he wore his underpants backwards for a while, because his penis would bleed from the seams on his undies.

But, he's two... I doubt I would look at him in the bathroom past age four.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:15 AM
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You know my daughter is 4 yrs going on 5 next month. I still have to go in their some times and make sure she is wiping correctly. Specially since our doctor told us that children under 5 still need to be assisted in the bathroom. I can see this as being important so that young girls don't get rashes or infections from not wiping correctly. I just apply the same to boys as well. Now mine are all under the age of 3 yrs so I am always in there with them anyway. I don't want a mess all over the floor. So I can tell at first glace if something is wrong. Specially with undies as none of my kids can pull their undies with out assistance or pants. We are working on that..lol!! But even at 4 yrs I think their should be a pair of eyes all the time on them. I don't think it your where negligent. I think you did what you should of to bring it to the directors attention and leave it at that. It's beyond you what the director does at that time. Did you advise the director of what the parent said about him being circumcised and that cld of been why he had bleed. I am sure it was by accident he was bumped by his TA. It happens but I would mention to mom about this happening and document it.
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