Toddler Injury - Advice Needed ASAP!

[bunnyslippers]

So I have a baby here - she is 16 months old, just started walking. She has fallen twice today - one time leading to a bruise on her cheek, the other leading to a scratch down the other side of her face. I called her mom both times, but I think her mother is angry about it. I have been right with her, but she just keeps getting hurt! She started walking about four months ago, and is in that crash around phase.

Any advice on how to handle this? I feel terrible, but am not really sure how to make the mom feel less angry. H

[SilverSabre25]

I don't think I would have called mom for scratches and bruises. She's a toddler, she falls, it's NORMAL. As for mom being angryk, if your attitude is a laid-back, "hey, this is normal, she's a healthy active little girl and this is normal" then parents will figure it out too.

[bunnyslippers]

This is an intense mom, and she doesn't like any injuries, ever, which is why I called. I did tell her it was normal, but I know the mom is going to flip when she sees the scratch (down the whole side of her face). I literally feel sick about it.

[Mom&Provider]

I don't think you can do anything else, other then put the child in a bubble! Just make sure to write it all down, what happened when she fell, where she was and where you were. We can't always be close enough to each child to stop them from every fall and DCM needs to understand that.

I remember when I first started daycare, I had a little one that would fall over everything...her own feet being the main issue! I never called the parents at work, it was never serious, but I did explain how each incident happened at pick-up. It was tough for awhile, and I felt badly almost weekly like I just couldn't look after this child, but over time she became more steady and it happened less and less. Now things are much better and simple falls are few and far between. It always made me feel a bit better when something would happen on the parents time...at least they never denied the fact that their little one was a bit clumsy and they completely understood and never thought ill of how I watched their child - I still do!

My point is, you've done nothing wrong, you've done your job and have explained each incident. Children are going to fall, trip over a car or block on the floor or just get silly and get caught up under their own feet! Sometimes you'll just happen to be right there to grab them and stop the fall, but most times you're across the room or within a few feet and just can't do much about it. Do your best to record all that happens and explain it to the parent(s), really that's all you can do!

[Meyou]

I would have a talk to mom about her expectations both for the current age of her child and group care in general. It's not reasonable for a child to never get little bumps and bruises and if she feels that way you may need to part ways with her.

[tenderhearts]

I always feel the same way when a child gets hurt, but it happens especially when they are newly walking, one of my 3 yr olds when he started walking at 12 months, he fell and hit the corner of the rocking chair and he got a black eye, I felt horrible, but thankfully his parents totally understood and weren't the freaking out type (and it was their first). About a month later he did the same thing at home and got a bruise on his cheek. I'm sure this child has and will get hurt with mom at some point.

[countrymom]

document and take a pic of it. Just explain that its so normal for a kid.

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks ladies. I just think the mom is going to be really angry, and I don't want that to happen. The scratch on her face looks TERRIBLE. It goes from her forehead down her cheek (skips over the eye area). She got it from holding a matchbox car when she fell down. I just am literally sick over this. I know it happens, but I don't think this mom is particularly realistic about injuries. Short of bubble wrap, I am not sure what I can do.

Would you give the mom the documented incident report, or just write it down in case?

[daycare]

Originally Posted by bunnyslippers

This is an intense mom, and she doesn't like any injuries, ever, which is why I called. I did tell her it was normal, but I know the mom is going to flip when she sees the scratch (down the whole side of her face). I literally feel sick about it.

I agree with silver....

years ago when I had a new walker the baby fell lots. I would take a pic and say look at your little champ, he's really walking down a bumpy road .... then it would show what happened......

we can't help it, everyone will fall when they learn to walk, this child is NO different...

just dont play into it too miuch

[blandino]

I would document, document, document. With a photo too ! And have the mom sign the injury report before she leaves. Also document that you called mom as soon as it happened.

[snips&snails]

I give a cute little ouch report that tells when & where an injury happened - it's a nice way to show that you WERE watching. One child last week hit his chin & got a pretty large injury; I was nervous but the family is still talking about how much they loved the ouch report lol.
I never call unless it is a fairly significant injury. Kids do hurt themselves, I find if you can get an attitude that balances sympathy/"yes I care" with a casual attitude that "this is totally normal/bumps & bruises are no big deal"

In centers I have had parents freak out over scraped knees. Really? I read an article recently where the author was standing up for children's right to have scraped knees & bumps & bruises. I am all for safety but isn't minor injuries part of childhood? Who wants to live in bubblewrap?????

[NeedaVaca]

When my DD was around 2 she was in the footed pj's, she was seriously within arm reach when she fell on our wood floors but there was no way for me to catch her before she fell...I saw in happen, almost like slow motion but there was nothing I could do about it, she just fell so fast! Her chin had a horrible cut, it was awful but a normal accident. Your DCG is bound to do something at home and get hurt no matter how careful this mom is...

Of course whenever I take either one of my kiddo's to the Dr. for well visits, etc, they always seem to have a bruise somewhere! It just never fails...and the Dr. is always so nice, saying "well, the bumps and bruises are in all the right spots" lol

[bunnyslippers]

I guess I just have to face it - she is going to be upset, but I do the best I can to keep everyone here safe. I think it is just the fact that both ouchs are on her face - ug. This is a mom who works in my son's school, and I just worry about her complaining about me to his teachers and stuff. And she is friendly with another mom who is here...just worrying about the snowball effect.

I am probably making a bigger deal out of it then I have to. I just need to get her out of here and try to downplay how bad I feel. I know if I make a big deal out of it, the situation is only going to get worse. I just feel so upset about it!

[LK5kids]

I would call with any fall creating a mark on the face, just to be careful. I guess after you have informed mom you were right there doing your job and let her knew you are carefully and safely caring for her child you have let it go. That and take a picture and document in your medical log.

Kids get hurt when parents are right there too. no kid gets through childhood without bumps and bruises!

I know in these situations (or if I am being a bit grumpy with the kids or I am expecting too much) I reflect on anything I could differently.

I know I would say that safety is something I take very seriously and I am always making sure the kids' environment is safe but these things are going to happen! That and that I understand her concern.

Take a deep breathe, pat yourself on the back, put your feet up this afternoon and relax. You deserve it!

[MarinaVanessa]

Parents like this are the reason that I have this in my handbook:

"Bumps and scratches are inevitable even though every effort is made to keep the children safe through supervision and child-proofing. Please expect that children may experience a minor scrape or bruise from child play.

If the injury is not life-threatening, but requires further treatment, the client will be contacted. An incident report will be completed for all accidents that leave a mark or involve a hard fall and a copy will be given to the client upon arrival."

As long as you smile and stay calm (don't let DCM get you worked up) and assure her that falls, scrapes and bruises are innevitable then it should at least keep her from flying off the handle. If she pushes it ask her how she keeps her child from falling at home and how he plays when at home. Include questions about when he is outdoors. They sometimes think about it differently if you force them to think about when things are reversed. You may even find that DCB isn't allowed to play outside much or that he isn't able to play as freely at home as he does in DC. At that point then you simply remind her that at daycare children are allowed to and encouraged to explore and play freely under direct supervision ... then reeiterate that falls, scrapes and bruises are going to happen.

I thought matchbox cars were for ages 3 and up.

[mom2many]

This is a tough age when kids get lots of bumps and bruises and I understand how you feel, because I hate it when I have a little one fall and hurt themselves. Fortunately most parents are realistic and understand new walkers aren't real steady and will fall a lot.

I think you did the right thing calling to let her know what happened, since you know she is very protective. I would have done the same thing myself. Just reassure her that this is going to happen and part of growing up!

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by bunnyslippers

Would you give the mom the documented incident report, or just write it down in case?

Personally, I would give her an incident report to read and sign. Then I'd give her a copy.

Unfortunately for her little one, this probably won't be the last boo boo she gets. While I don't wish another accident on her, I hope the next one is at home so mom can see how easily and quickly it happens when kids are learning to walk. I'm always a little relieved when parents come in on a Monday telling me about the boo boos that happen on their watch. They tend to be a little more understanding when minor accidents happen here.

[Oneluckymom]

I agree with everyone else on here....you have done what you could and injuries are unavoidable. Just today, my 14 month old was getting out of the little red buggy that kids ride in and push with their feet. Although she can only go backwards...lol. In have wood floors and the thing tipped over as she was stepping out and she bumped her forehead on the floor. I felt really bad about it too. She is my climber and tries to climb into and onto everything.

What do I do, not let her get in it. I do however watch her intensely when she does use it.'this time my back was turned. Don't beat yourself up about it. And yes document exactly what happened and keep a signed copy from mom for yourself. I have an 18 mo old who has never had an injury (thank goodness) and I've had her since she was 4mo. Some are just prone to injury!!

[Crazy In Mo]

Originally Posted by snips&snails

I give a cute little ouch report that tells when & where an injury happened - it's a nice way to show that you WERE watching. One child last week hit his chin & got a pretty large injury; I was nervous but the family is still talking about how much they loved the ouch report lol.
I never call unless it is a fairly significant injury. Kids do hurt themselves, I find if you can get an attitude that balances sympathy/"yes I care" with a casual attitude that "this is totally normal/bumps & bruises are no big deal"

In centers I have had parents freak out over scraped knees. Really? I read an article recently where the author was standing up for children's right to have scraped knees & bumps & bruises. I am all for safety but isn't minor injuries part of childhood? Who wants to live in bubblewrap?????

That sounds like a really cute idea!!! Can you attach a copy on here?

[spud912]

I hope I'm not derailing the topic any, but my 3-yo dd gets scrapes and bruises frequently (she plays rough). I would say 90% of the time she doesn't even make a noise or face when she hurts herself so unless I'm looking at her every second, I have no idea where they came from. If I were to examine her body right now, she would probably have 2 bruises on each shin and a couple of scrapes either on her legs or arms/hands.

If you had a tough child who doesn't make a big deal (or any deal for that matter) out of minor cuts and bangs, how would you report it to the parents?

I have another dcb who is extremely extremely clumsy (2 yo) who hurts himself literally every 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he ends up with a small bruise by the end of the day but I have no idea from which ouchie it came from.

I guess what I'm saying is: do you all literally create an incident report for every bruise and cut? I have always been one to not really make a big deal about the little things unless I saw what happened and/or it looks bad. If it requires extra attention at home, I will call the parents. Otherwise, I let the parents know when they pick up (again, only if I saw what happened and/or it looks bad).

[Starburst]

Originally Posted by bunnyslippers

This is an intense mom, and she doesn't like any injuries, ever, which is why I called. I did tell her it was normal, but I know the mom is going to flip when she sees the scratch (down the whole side of her face). I literally feel sick about it.

Some kids are just Klutzy when they go through akward stages and growth spurts (such as during infancy and preteens). This one 9 year old I used to babysit (and she was taller than me ) like the second day I was watching her we walked to some parks by my house (I didn't have a car) and at the park closest to my house we were at the swings and I guess she let go for one second or something and she fell off. The swingset was over woodchips and luckly she was okay because she landed on her bottom, she just needed to laydown for a minute to get her barrings. I called my roomate to pick us up because even though we were just down the street I didn't want to make her walk. Then I called her mom immediately, but I guess she was used to these type of things so she just told me thanks for letting her know and never said anything else about it.

It could just be that if this is her first child she is just nervous- espesually with all of the things the news does about abuse in child care but never talks about the good things that happen in child care.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Starburst

Some kids are just Klutzy when they go through akward stages and growth spurts (such as during infancy and preteens). This one 9 year old I used to babysit (and she was taller than me ) like the second day I was watching her we walked to some parks by my house (I didn't have a car) and at the park closest to my house we were at the swings and I guess she let go for one second or something and she fell off. The swingset was over woodchips and luckly she was okay because she landed on her bottom, she just needed to laydown for a minute to get her barrings. I called my roomate to pick us up because even though we were just down the street I didn't want to make her walk. Then I called her mom immediately, but I guess she was used to these type of things so she just told me thanks for letting her know and never said anything else about it.

It could just be that if this is her first child she is just nervous- espesually with all of the things the news does about abuse in child care but never talks about the good things that happen in child care.

good point....first time parents seem to have a harder time with it than those who are not. I had a family with three kids and I had two of them in my care. When the youngest would fall over her own two feet or scrape a knee here, they just laughed. But when I had their eldest, OMG they were on me like flies are to .................lol

LIke others said, just document it and try to relax about it. If you do not seem to overly concerned about it, the daycare parents won't either...

[Starburst]

Originally Posted by spud912

I guess what I'm saying is: do you all literally create an incident report for every bruise and cut? I have always been one to not really make a big deal about the little things unless I saw what happened and/or it looks bad. If it requires extra attention at home, I will call the parents. Otherwise, I let the parents know when they pick up (again, only if I saw what happened and/or it looks bad).

I think it depends on their parents. If I had a child who was always getting marks and scratches and their parents are overprotective and you are afraid they may try to make complaints to licensing. I would do a daily health check and probably also make note of any marks and bruises/scrapes they have before they enter and have parent's sign a "mini report" and possibly do one when they leave too; so they cannot say they went home later and "found marks" on their child and blame it on you. And keep the mini reports in the child's file with the date. This also could help protect you if someone other than the parents (like grandparents/aunt/uncle/ family friends) drop off the child and the child has a mark that they sign off saying the child arrived with a particular mark or scratch.

[daycaremum]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I thought matchbox cars were for ages 3 and up.

Was this a helpful comment? I don't think so. I would let a small child hold a matchbox car, as long as child wasn't putting it in their mouth.

[Willow]

Originally Posted by bunnyslippers

I guess I just have to face it - she is going to be upset, but I do the best I can to keep everyone here safe. I think it is just the fact that both ouchs are on her face - ug. This is a mom who works in my son's school, and I just worry about her complaining about me to his teachers and stuff. And she is friendly with another mom who is here...just worrying about the snowball effect.

I am probably making a bigger deal out of it then I have to. I just need to get her out of here and try to downplay how bad I feel. I know if I make a big deal out of it, the situation is only going to get worse. I just feel so upset about it!

I do the exact same thing.....I understand your fear completely



If it helps at all as a parent I would appreciate a provider who cared so much.

Take a deep breath before she arrives, it'll be over before you know it.


As an aside, are you at a place where you could consider letting this family go? It sounds like mom causes you whole heaps of undue stress. No one needs that day to day, especially over stuff that is so typical for her child's age.

[snips&snails]

ouchform.pdf This is the one I currently use - I do print it in black & white & I make a copy for my files. Only thing I would change is it would be nice to have a spot for the parent to sign

[MamaG]

Well according to my great grandma if you don't get a bump on your head before age two you won't live to old age. My kids should live forever!

On a more serious note if I was you I'd have a talk with dcm. Explain that if she doesn't trust in you to care for her child she needs to find new care. I explain at the interview how things work here and that if they have concerns to respectfully discuss them with me. That I care for each child equally. If at any time a parent acts as if they don't think I know what I am doing I politely tell them I would prefer if they truly don't trust me to find new care. That's how false accusations happen!

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by spud912

I guess what I'm saying is: do you all literally create an incident report for every bruise and cut?

Ordinarily, I wouldn't create an incident report unless the injury was "serious or unusual" (per regulations in this state). Since Bunnyslippers described the dcm as "intense" and feels she will be angry and upset over the dcg's injury, I don't think it's a bad idea for her to write up the report and have the dcm sign it.

Bunnyslippers will have a record of exactly what happened and how minor the injury is - and that dcm acknowledges the injury is as Bunnyslippers describes. Bummyslippers won't have to rely on memory should dcm later try to make it a bigger issue than it really is. Also, if dcg goes home tonight, trips and falls and sustains a more serious injury, Bunnyslippers has a signed record of what happened at her day care and the fact that the injury was minor.

The incident report may also serve to calm the dcm down a bit. Sometimes, "drama mamas" calm down faster when they feel their child's boo boos are being treated with the seriousness they feel is deserved even if it seems like overkill to most of us.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I thought matchbox cars were for ages 3 and up.

Originally Posted by daycaremum

Was this a helpful comment? I don't think so. I would let a small child hold a matchbox car, as long as child wasn't putting it in their mouth.

It may not have been a helpful comment, but IMHO, it IS a relavent question.

I FULLY understand that children just learning to walk are completely accident prone and scratches, bumps and buises are part of growing up for almost all kids.

Initially when I first read the post about the DCG holding a Matchbox car and that it was what caused her scratch, I thought the same thing. Kids her age should NOT have access to a Matchbox car.

For me it has nothing to do with not chewing on it but that it is simply not recommended for that age group probably for several reasons...one being they are sharp and hard.

I have toddler Matchbox type cars that are soft so if they do fall while carrying or playing with one it won't cause further injury.

@Bunnyslippers......please don't think I am being rude as I am not and I am not trying to say that this is in ANYWAY your fault because I know it isn't and I know you are a good, caring and loving provider.

I only mention the car because IME, parents who are that over-protective will pick out those bits of information and will use it against you to prove their point that anything that happens to their child is YOUR fault.

If I were you, I would have a heart to heart with DCM about scratches, bruises and bumps being a natural and NORMAL part of growing up and becoming independent and stress to her that it is absolutely necessary that she trusts you to care for her child or you won't be able to continue working together anymore. I mean who wants to work with someone who makes you walk on pins and needles about everything?! Kwim?

In the future I would absolutely make sure the kids (especially this one) don't have access to toys that are not recommended for their age group.

It is just far too much liability and had something really serious have happend you would or could have been held responsible all because she WAS playing with a toy that is not for her age group.

Liability and logic RARELY go hand in hand.

Keep us posted as to how things go with mom at pick up.....hoping you are not a giant bundle of nerves and all goes well!

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks to everyone ~ it went fine. I was very matter of fact about it, and the mother handled it well. I appreciate the help.


Again, you all saved me today, and I really do appreciate it so much. NOW, I am off to pack for my weekend away with my girlfriends! Cheers, Ladies!!!!

[mom2many]

Originally Posted by bunnyslippers

Thanks to everyone ~ it went fine. I was very matter of fact about it, and the mother handled it well. I appreciate the help.


Again, you all saved me today, and I really do appreciate it so much. NOW, I am off to pack for my weekend away with my girlfriends! Cheers, Ladies!!!!

Glad it went well! Relax and enjoy your fun girls weekend away!!!!!

[LaLa1923]

I'm happy it went well for you! My daughter is six and I'm still not sure she knows shoe has feet!