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  #1  
Old 08-29-2013, 04:20 PM
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lteach98 lteach98 is offline
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Default Need Advice

hello all im new to this form. I have been working as a head teacher in a daycare facility for about a few months. Recently a child was seriously injured where their finger was broken after being smashed in the door. I feel absolutely terrible about it and it was truly an accident as I was taking 4 children to the bathroom. I didn't realize the childs finger was in the way. Fortunately the director and staff have been very supportive but the parent has not been. When I tried to explain everything, the parent proceeded to curse me out and threaten me. I understand them being upset which they have every right but I do not even now feel comfortable with this parent in the room. I even made an attempt to express my apology and they refused at this point I feel I tried. I feel the hurt just as much as the parent. so im asking has anyone experienced a child getting hurt on your watch as a teacher, how do you handle it?
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Old 08-29-2013, 04:48 PM
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Maria2013 Maria2013 is offline
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I feel very bad for you

I've never had any serious injury happening to kids in my care, I tent to be over protective but, the fact is accidents do happen!

...as a parent, I would probably feel equally sorry for my child and for the teacher in charge at the time, because I know how I'd feel if a child in my care was injured

you know in your heart it was an accident, you tried to apologize...now all you can do is move forward
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Old 08-29-2013, 05:55 PM
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A boy pushed another one outside and he ended up with 5 stitches near his eye. I felt horrible! I cried and cried but the parents were wonderful. Accidents happen. Those parents owe you an apology. I understand they were upset...but once they calmed down they should have tried to understand your position.
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Old 08-29-2013, 06:30 PM
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The parent shouldn't have cussed you out, but beyond that, they have every right to be upset. I wouldn't ask for an apology or try to mend things with the family--you have done what you could to patch things up, but they don't seem to be receptive to apologies so any more wouldn't help the situation.

I'd talk to the director and let them know you feel uncomfortable with the parent in the room. She should be aware of this--as a manager, it's something she needs to know--and you will be more likely to get your director's support in the future if you have another conflict with this family.

I am sure you feel awful, but as you said, it was an accident. I would try to move on. As for the family of the injured child, I would remain polite and professional, but I'd probably choose to let another teacher in the room handle any issues that come up with them. Maybe the director should even get more involved with dealing with them. If they are upset and verbally abusive to you as a teacher, the director should step in--that's part of her job!

Hugs!
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Old 08-29-2013, 06:37 PM
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on a side note....way before i got there, a teacher had accidentally slammed a child's finger in the door and it actually severed part of the finger! terrifying.
After that, they purchased these plastic guards that go on the door so fingers cannot get smashed. if your director hasn't mentioned anything about them I would suggest it. It also might make the parents feel better seeing that something is being done to prevent further finger accidents.

This is an example of one
http://www.pinchshield.com/
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Old 08-30-2013, 12:36 PM
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I once had a child who had only been here for about 3 months, trip and he fell right into my tv stand. Blood was gushing everywhere and he had a big gash on his forehead! Mom had to pick him up and he had to get stitches. Fortunately his mom was understanding! Like pp said, you apologized. Things happen. Sorry the parent was so mean!
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
The parent shouldn't have cussed you out, but beyond that, they have every right to be upset. I wouldn't ask for an apology or try to mend things with the family--you have done what you could to patch things up, but they don't seem to be receptive to apologies so any more wouldn't help the situation.

I'd talk to the director and let them know you feel uncomfortable with the parent in the room. She should be aware of this--as a manager, it's something she needs to know--and you will be more likely to get your director's support in the future if you have another conflict with this family.

I am sure you feel awful, but as you said, it was an accident. I would try to move on. As for the family of the injured child, I would remain polite and professional, but I'd probably choose to let another teacher in the room handle any issues that come up with them. Maybe the director should even get more involved with dealing with them. If they are upset and verbally abusive to you as a teacher, the director should step in--that's part of her job!

Hugs!
I agree

Accidents happen. I have never met a perfect person.

** I was under the impression it was the owners responsibility to have door stops in place in children's restrooms . Here we are. It is a known risk and common daycare injury. My door stops are simple foam accessories that can be wedged on at the top of the door to prevent it both from closing hard or completely.

Know that if the parents truly felt they could not trust you they would not have brought the child back to your care. IMHO, The director needs to do her job and not allow them to bully you.

To prevent it in the future you (personally) could pick up a door guard ($5) to use in your class. Seeing the self motivation may go a long way with the parents... some people don't want apologies, they want action. This would cover ALL aspects of it.
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Old 09-01-2013, 05:51 AM
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As a parent, I understand why they were upset but its unfair to threaten you. Accidents do happen despite all of our best intentions.

I once taught a little girl with Down's syndrome who tripped and cut her cheek against my easel. She needed stitches on her face. It was my first year of teaching and I felt awful because I had called her up to write on the easel as part of the lesson her parents actually sent me a bunch of flowers to let me know they understood it was an accident and they didn't want me to blame myself.

Parent's threatening you is unacceptable and I agree w others that this should be reported to your director and until the matter is resolved; it may be best to have someone else present in the room when dealing with them.

Sorry this happened, it's awful when accidents happen but don't beat yourself up.
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Old 09-01-2013, 11:56 AM
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thank you all for the feedback and support. Its been very difficult to move forward but there is no other choice but to accept it and learn. I did let my director know that I do not feel comfortable. I am a new teacher so this whole experience has been very demotivating and draining. Its bad enough I witnessed it and to have to deal with a parent who will put salt on my wounds. thanks again
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Old 09-01-2013, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lteach98 View Post
thank you all for the feedback and support. Its been very difficult to move forward but there is no other choice but to accept it and learn. I did let my director know that I do not feel comfortable. I am a new teacher so this whole experience has been very demotivating and draining. Its bad enough I witnessed it and to have to deal with a parent who will put salt on my wounds. thanks again
I'm one of those parents and providers who attempt to think of all possible scenarios. It's a curse sometimes.

But I also truly believe most accidents are preventable thus making them not accidents but mistakes. There is a difference.

A child getting into bleach and drinking it. Not an accident. Neglect. Preventable.

You get drunk and wreck your car. Not an accident. Preventable. A crime.

You don't put upchild gate up on purpose and a child falls down the stairs. Not an accident. Neglect. Preventable.

You are an employee in a facility who didn't put child guards on the door. A child's finger gets hurt. You didn't do anything wrong. It was an accident. Now as far as your director is concerned, she should have installed those.
please don't feel bad. It was an accident. Truly. We learn and prevent.
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  #11  
Old 09-01-2013, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lteach98 View Post
hello all im new to this form. I have been working as a head teacher in a daycare facility for about a few months. Recently a child was seriously injured where their finger was broken after being smashed in the door. I feel absolutely terrible about it and it was truly an accident as I was taking 4 children to the bathroom. I didn't realize the childs finger was in the way. Fortunately the director and staff have been very supportive but the parent has not been. When I tried to explain everything, the parent proceeded to curse me out and threaten me. I understand them being upset which they have every right but I do not even now feel comfortable with this parent in the room. I even made an attempt to express my apology and they refused at this point I feel I tried. I feel the hurt just as much as the parent. so im asking has anyone experienced a child getting hurt on your watch as a teacher, how do you handle it?
~I feel so very sorry for you right now, and I agree with what the poster, maria2013, said below. ~I don't think a lot of people these days realize that many of the things they get so angry at other people for are things that could have just as easily happened with them. The child knows, and the parent as well(deep down anyway), that you didn't mean to do it. ...Feel better !

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maria2013 View Post
I feel very bad for you

I've never had any serious injury happening to kids in my care, I tent to be over protective but, the fact is accidents do happen!

...as a parent, I would probably feel equally sorry for my child and for the teacher in charge at the time, because I know how I'd feel if a child in my care was injured

you know in your heart it was an accident, you tried to apologize...now all you can do is move forward
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