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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Birthday Party With No Gifts Request
sahm1225 08:29 AM 10-15-2018
Is it rude if I still Want to get the kids a small gift like a book?

Have you ever put that on an invitation? The family is very well off so I’m thinking maybe they just don’t want toys. But it’s a 2 year old and 4 year old, it just feels weird to not have some type of gift.
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Indoorvoice 08:35 AM 10-15-2018
I don't think it's rude, but they probably really don't want anything. I've been getting more invitations like this and I've been giving movie passes with a card.
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LittleExplorers 08:59 AM 10-15-2018
Do you have kids? If so, I would have them make a card. I would not do a gift. They are asking for a reason. It may or may not be due to their financial status. I think as a society we are sometimes too focused on things, but it's just my opinion. I remember looking around when my two boys were little one day and wondered how on earth we accumulated so many things, most that were played with short term then set aside.
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rosieteddy 09:04 AM 10-15-2018
I think its kindof lousy.Obviously the 2 yr old wouldn't care.The 4 yr old gets it.Teach them to accept gifts .Maybe ask for age appropriate books.Then after the party donate already read books.Ask for something small .This is a teaching moment everybody knows you get gifts for birthdays and special occasions.Why not teach them to donate after the party.
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Jiminycrickets 09:13 AM 10-15-2018
I always ask for no gifts for my kids' birthday parties. They get plenty of gifts from us, family, and close friends. It's just too much.
I generally respect when the family asks for no gifts at a party. If I am close to the child or really just want to give them something for whatever reason, I give it a different time or have it sent to their house.
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CityGarden 12:57 PM 10-16-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I don't think it's rude, but they probably really don't want anything. I've been getting more invitations like this and I've been giving movie passes with a card.
Yes we give a card (often homemade by my dd) and movie passes, passes to the local museum or passes to the local botanical garden. I tend to like gifting experiences over possessions anyway so this is not out of our norm.
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Blackcat31 09:32 AM 10-15-2018
Originally Posted by sahm1225:
Is it rude if I still Want to get the kids a small gift like a book?

Have you ever put that on an invitation? The family is very well off so I’m thinking maybe they just don’t want toys. But it’s a 2 year old and 4 year old, it just feels weird to not have some type of gift.
Why not get a book or some other small gift and donate it to the library or the children's floor of a local hospital in the child's name? That way you are honoring the family's wish of no gifts but still fulfilling your need to get one.
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boy_mom 10:00 AM 10-15-2018
Personally we always do no gifts and my kids have learned that a party is spending time with friends and family and celebrating! They get gifts from us on their actual birthday and get to pick a special dinner as well. It's never been an issue for them

At first people still showed up with small gifts, but quickly realized we really do mean it! Our kids have plenty of toys and we always end up donating a lot of what people buy them. I doubt the family would have put it in the invite if they didnt mean it!!
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hwichlaz 10:25 AM 10-15-2018
I agree. The kids know that a party is for visiting and having fun and food with friends if that's what their parents have taught them. If you do bring a gift, please do not expect it to be opened at the party. The parents may stash and donate without the kid ever seeing it.
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sahm1225 11:22 AM 10-15-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I agree. The kids know that a party is for visiting and having fun and food with friends if that's what their parents have taught them. If you do bring a gift, please do not expect it to be opened at the party. The parents may stash and donate without the kid ever seeing it.
I would not expect them to open the gift at the party. I actually really dislike that tradition. Kids get too hyper and don’t appreciate their gifts in public. We always take gifts home and open them the next day after dinner
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Jupadia 11:55 AM 10-15-2018
I've seen it on invites and still have given a gift, but we made sure to give a book and movie tickets. It was a friend of the family and my husband talked to the dad who told us they put it there cause they just had to much stuff already and no room for more. What we truly hated on a invite for a kids party was a line saying no boxed gifts so we gave a bag gift then, was not doing cash.
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hwichlaz 03:44 PM 10-15-2018
Originally Posted by sahm1225:
I would not expect them to open the gift at the party. I actually really dislike that tradition. Kids get too hyper and don’t appreciate their gifts in public. We always take gifts home and open them the next day after dinner
See to me, that's mean. I'd feel tortured as a kid knowing my parents were holding my gifts for another day. My behavior would have totally melted down.
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sahm1225 11:21 AM 10-15-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Why not get a book or some other small gift and donate it to the library or the children's floor of a local hospital in the child's name? That way you are honoring the family's wish of no gifts but still fulfilling your need to get one.
That’s what I was thinking of doing. But I was hoping to get them a book as a gift from the daycare. We always do a little party at daycare and I get them a small gift. Now I’m
Wondering if they want me to skip that too.
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Tags:birthday - no gift, birthday gift, birthday party
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