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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Already Trying to Take Advantage
rjskids 06:18 AM 04-27-2011
I haven't even started my daycare yet and I already have people trying to take advantage of it. Why are the FIRST people to inquire about my daycare the ones that I would not trust to pay me??? My niece basically said that no program assistance will do anything for them because her daughter's dad makes too much money, so she said "could you help us out?" AND "her preschool is over at noon, can you pick her up from there for us?" Uh...I will have 2 babies and (hopefully) a few more kids, I CANNOT be a taxi service. Plus I said I had a full time opening available and if her ex wanted to sign her up that it was X amount a week for her. Her reply didn't sound very happy...
Also my unreliable brotherinlaw just said one day "we are bringing our baby to you". Welllll, I don't know if I have room for another baby and AGAIN it will need to be on a full time basis. But he doesn't even ask, just TELLS me. This just frustrates me cause when I started baking cakes they were the same way. If I had a small family it would have been different, but I have a very large family (4 siblings, each has at least 3 kids and their kids have kids) so I had to be mean right off that bat and say "I will do the kids' graduation cakes for free but anything else will be charged". So, long story short...I barely got any orders from my family. My close friends NEVER had a problem buying cakes. I know people say not to take family but I am taking one niece cause she will be state funded so I know definitely that I'll get paid then. Why is family like that?
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MsMe 06:43 AM 04-27-2011
I am sorry they are taking advantage of you. you have the right attitude! DO NOT LET THEM WALK OVER YOU. Stand your ground, do not pick up if it is not somehting yuo want to do each time or for everyone, and def never take a child (even family) that is not planning on payign your full rate or will get it to you when they can!

I hope your family comes around and understands this is your income and if they take advantage they will be takign away from you!
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Cat Herder 06:44 AM 04-27-2011
Unfortunately Family is the worst to deal with in the Daycare Business. (I still dread all Holidays because of a huge rift from keeping my nieces and nephews. Like I owed it to them. It divides families, permanently. NOT worth it.)

Friends are a close second.

Neighbors come in third.

I know you did not ask for it, but my advice is Don't keep Children of Family, Friends or Neighbors.

Consider that as a gift from me to you....
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Evansmom 06:52 AM 04-27-2011
Make it clear to your family that this is your business and your income and you can't be doing favors for them. It's a daycare and not a babysitting service. You have regulations and rules to follow. And you have to make money at this so if they would like the privilage of having their child stay with you then they will have to pay and follow the rules like everyone else.

Stay firm b/c if you don't you run the risk of becoming burnt out and frusterated really early on.
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morgan24 06:57 AM 04-27-2011
I have taken lots of family over the years. I make it clear that I don't run a charity. They have to understand that.I also make them sign a contract. The first thing I would do is not let them tell me what to do. I would tell them how it is. If they don't want to pay you don't take them. Don't ever feel obligated to them just because your related.
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laundrymom 07:09 AM 04-27-2011
I would simply answer with,.. You know I've really thought about it and I've decided not to take friends or family members right now. I'm sorry but I love my nieces and nephews so much that I don't want their time with me to feel like a job. I'm taking ( state pay niece) because I agreed to before I had given it much thought. But she will be the only one. I know you trust me and I appreciate it but I want to keep my family time separate from my job. And smile,.. Do the stare,.. And get on with your day.
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MyAngels 08:21 AM 04-27-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I would simply answer with,.. You know I've really thought about it and I've decided not to take friends or family members right now. I'm sorry but I love my nieces and nephews so much that I don't want their time with me to feel like a job. I'm taking ( state pay niece) because I agreed to before I had given it much thought. But she will be the only one. I know you trust me and I appreciate it but I want to keep my family time separate from my job. And smile,.. Do the stare,.. And get on with your day.
What a great way to put it!

I very rarely will give a small discount over my normal rates to "friends and family." One of my dear friends asked that his grandchildren be enrolled here, and I was fine with that. I gave my small discount. He would occasionally make half joking comments about how much I charged them, until I calculated for him how much that "small" discount cost me in income over the years, since his son had three children, all receiving this "small" discount.

Needless to say, it's rare these days for me to discount, and I don't hesitate to point out why.
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grandmom 08:31 AM 04-27-2011
Even beyond family, there is a whole culture of parents out there looking for the *new* provider. They know they can get away with weird requests, late payments, etc.

Beware new providers. They come out of the woodwork when they see a new person.
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MN Mom 08:38 AM 04-27-2011
I'm currently keeping my niece. The 3 week trial during the fall was awesome. The mom payed me every week on the last day of care. I agreed to take niece on FT after the New Year. I got 1 payment the beginning of February and 1 payment the beginning of March, and have not seen a payment since. It's hard going almost 2 months without pay....especially with DH's job not being the greatest (typical low wage / high labor job) and the beginnings of inflation (gas and food). Where I come from you don't turn your back on family, nor do you expect anything from them (payment or otherwise). It sucks, especially when DH understands my frustrations but also says not to do anything about it (It's his family I'm doing the service for).

Good thing I love this little girl to pieces. Seeing her laugh and smile and grow is a huge bonus for me! I always threatened I would keep her if they weren't careful
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Cat Herder 08:48 AM 04-27-2011
Originally Posted by grandmom:
Even beyond family, there is a whole culture of parents out there looking for the *new* provider. They know they can get away with weird requests, late payments, etc.

Beware new providers. They come out of the woodwork when they see a new person.
Thank you for this!!!!!

Not to mention the ones who have been black balled by "Providers in the Know"...

We have several couples in town who "Daycare Hop" to keep from paying.

Once the new provider (who just wants to help them get back on their feet) stops buying the sob stories and demands payment, they skip to another.

The stories are always different, untrue and are getting wilder and wilder by the day....
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daycare 10:47 AM 04-27-2011
I agree with pps.....worst daycare clients of all times, friends and family.... I have yet to experience a neighbor...

My advice, if your family can pay or not DONT take them. Trust me, money will be the least of your concerns.... You will be expected to do things for them outside of your polciy and contracts because "your family"
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Cat Herder 10:57 AM 04-27-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I agree with pps.....worst daycare clients of all times, friends and family.... I have yet to experience a neighbor...

My advice, if your family can pay or not DONT take them. Trust me, money will be the least of your concerns.... You will be expected to do things for them outside of your policy and contracts because "your family"
Not to mention the first time they damage property purposefully or have to be disciplined.

Suddenly you don't get to be an Aunt anymore... You don't get to enjoy them because they are now your JOB.

My skin still crawls when one of my HORRIBLY behaved nieces is around me. It never would have gotten to that point had I just gotten to be her Aunt.
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cheerfuldom 11:05 AM 04-27-2011
I never ever EVER take kids where I knew the parents previous to the interview. I have been asked by several people and the answer is always no.
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rjskids 03:16 PM 04-27-2011
With my brotherinlaw, I was so thrown off when he said "we're bringing our baby to you" cause it never even crossed my mind that they would want that. So I didn't say anything. I knew I was going to see his fiance that night so I thought all day what I would say to her. But then when she was talking about the baby she talked about things she would have to buy for the "babysitter" and never even looked at me. So I never brought it up and is taking the action of just ignoring it. haha. But I'm afraid after the baby pops out they are just going to be like "Well, we will start on such and such day! See ya then!" I don't want to bring it up to turn them down, I think that will sound rude. (ex: "In case you guys were planning on bringing baby to my house I don't have any openings") Iyiyiiiii!
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Unregistered 06:22 PM 04-27-2011
I think it is very unfair for family to take advantage and just expect you to take their children...I looked after my nieces and nephews a few days here and there but certainly not on a full-time basis and thankfully they didn't expect it!

My brothers and sisters lived far enough away that it never would have worked out for any kind of full-time basis...thank God!! I love their kids but I didn't want to be the "bad" aunt when I had to discipline..

But that didn't stop them from thrusting a baby in my arms and going off somewhere when we were having get togethers...it kind of irked me because I may have wanted to go off somewhere too...LOL! Oh well...they are almost grown up now and having kids of their own so no longer a problem...
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nannyde 05:01 AM 04-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
But that didn't stop them from thrusting a baby in my arms and going off somewhere when we were having get togethers..
Can't tell you how many times that has happened to me over the years. The last thing I want to do is take care of a kid on my day off... anybody's kid.
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KRS1115 09:33 AM 04-28-2011
Hello everyone I'm new to the forum and wanted to say hi and add my two cents. I've been doing daycare off and on for about 15 years. I recently started again and my daughters best friend who calls me Mom called me up with this sad story about being a single mom of two kids with no help from the dads and how her provider got closed down for being unlicensed and having to many kids. So against my better judgment I said yes. Needless to say they have been coming here since the beginning of March and I have been paid two times. I finally had to tell her that if I don't have all money paid by this weekend they can not come. She tells me that she thought I would watch them for free or give her a better discount. Her kids are 1 and 3 and I only charge her $75 a piece a week and the average here is $175-225 for the 1 year old and $135-150 for the 3 year old a week and you want more of a discount Never again will I do this.
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tulip1969 11:29 AM 04-28-2011
when I announced that I was opening a daycare I got the same reaction from family members with kids. They all said "oh, I'll send my kid to you." I decided to send an e-mail to all family with kids telling them that I have limited openings and please understand that this is my income and as much as I love them all, if their child will be taking a spot they need to adhere to my hours of operation and fees (I do give them a ten dollar a day discount). I can't accept drop-in care because according to the state I can only have a certain number of kids, etc I go on to explain that payment is expected on Fridays beccause this is my income that I need to count on in order to pay my bills. I also added that I would not be offended if they chose another provider over me for whatever reason.
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Evansmom 11:36 AM 04-28-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Can't tell you how many times that has happened to me over the years. The last thing I want to do is take care of a kid on my day off... anybody's kid.
I know this happens to me too! Like I"m the default childcare giver. No!

It's like being a chef, you don't want to cook on your day off!!
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Tags:clients, clients - family, taking advantage, trust
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