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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>When They Wake Up Screaming
daycare 03:22 PM 01-12-2012
I have a dck that is 22 months old. DCK sleeps in a separate room from the rest of the kids because he screams going to sleep and when he wakes. Also sleeps in a PNP.
When he wakes, he screams as though someone is hurting him and then it gets louder and stronger. I have tried everything I can to calm him, but nothing works. The worst part, is that some days he only sleeps for 45 minutes and even though he is in the other room, he still wakes all of the kids.
I don't know how to stop this or how to calm him.
any advice?
When he wakes, he screams as though someone is hurting him and then it gets louder and stronger. I have tried everything I can to calm him, but nothing works. The worst part, is that some days he only sleeps for 45 minutes and even though he is in the other room, he still wakes all of the kids.
I don't know how to stop this or how to calm him.
any advice?
Cat Herder 03:31 PM 01-12-2012
Does he stop when he see's you come into view?
daycare 03:32 PM 01-12-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Does he stop when he see's you come into view?
no it gets louder and worse.... I try to not respond right away and give it a few minutesDoes he stop when he see's you come into view?
Cat Herder 03:45 PM 01-12-2012
Does he still sleep in a crib at home, too?
You know where I am heading....
I know it is hard to believe, but my naptime "screamers" typically stopped when I transitioned them to a napmat.
Have you tried one with him?
You know where I am heading....
I know it is hard to believe, but my naptime "screamers" typically stopped when I transitioned them to a napmat.Have you tried one with him?
daycare 03:50 PM 01-12-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Does he still sleep in a crib at home, too?
You know where I am heading.... I know it is hard to believe, but my naptime "screamers" typically stopped when I transitioned them to a napmat.
Have you tried one with him?
at home he co-sleeps with mommy, not sure if daddy too. I have asked them to stop this and they are working on it. parents are having another baby any day now, so I believe that the boy will get kicked out of the bed and the new one will take his spot co-sleeping.Does he still sleep in a crib at home, too?
You know where I am heading....
I know it is hard to believe, but my naptime "screamers" typically stopped when I transitioned them to a napmat.Have you tried one with him?
BTW it is in their culture that they co-sleep. I don't know for how much longer they will continue to do it with DCK
Cat Herder 03:57 PM 01-12-2012
Ohhhhhh..... co-sleepers. 
Yeah, I don't know of a way to work with that. Nothing effective, anyway, barring allowing him to share a larger "group" mat (pushed together, covered with a large blanket) with siblings.
IME, Co-Sleeping and Group Daycare don't mix.
I typically interview out for that... Mine HAVE to be in the same room at all times, so it just is not fair to the other kids, IMHO.
Yeah, I don't know of a way to work with that. Nothing effective, anyway, barring allowing him to share a larger "group" mat (pushed together, covered with a large blanket) with siblings.
IME, Co-Sleeping and Group Daycare don't mix.
I typically interview out for that... Mine HAVE to be in the same room at all times, so it just is not fair to the other kids, IMHO.
daycare 04:09 PM 01-12-2012
I knew this going into it and was willing to accept only because they are working on NOT doing it with him any more.
I know the two don't go hand and hand. I co-sleep too, but I don't plan to have my child attend another childcare. When he is ready for school, we will stop about 3-4 months prior.
I know the two don't go hand and hand. I co-sleep too, but I don't plan to have my child attend another childcare. When he is ready for school, we will stop about 3-4 months prior.
SimpleMom 08:03 PM 01-12-2012
I have that same little one here 
almost the same age as well. i think you r rigt in that after baby is born he will sleep more on his own. i havethe little ones in seperate roomsfor the same reason. I try to get my screamer really wore out with play. and last to go to bed. That gives the others a head start and they tend to be in a deper sleep when the screaming begins.
I have had him in a seperate room and held him, but he usualy hates being held. a warm cup of milk?
It is a tough one. but know that you are not alone lol I am right there with ya!
almost the same age as well. i think you r rigt in that after baby is born he will sleep more on his own. i havethe little ones in seperate roomsfor the same reason. I try to get my screamer really wore out with play. and last to go to bed. That gives the others a head start and they tend to be in a deper sleep when the screaming begins. I have had him in a seperate room and held him, but he usualy hates being held. a warm cup of milk?
It is a tough one. but know that you are not alone lol I am right there with ya!
Heidi 06:46 AM 01-13-2012
My twins used to do that, as well, but only when they hadnt slept long enough. I have been training them here, and they are much happier, usually wake up happy & chatting vs. crying. They take 2 1/2-3 hour naps here, and maybe 1 1/2 at home.
I set up a sort of white noise barrier (and I put them in seperate rooms in the house, something mom doesn't have the luxury of doing), so the others are not disturbed.
You have to sort of decide how much time he "should" sleep, or at rest and be relatively quiet so that the others can sleep. Kind of like the "lead a horse to water thing". You can't make him sleep for 2 hours, but there is no reason he can't play quietly for a half hour upon waking.
If he wakes up screaming, wait a few minutes to go in, and when you do, whisper "it's still sleepy time , everyone is sleeping". Maybe rub his back a bit, readjust his blanket, then leave again. Chances are, he will go back to sleep.
When it is time to get everyone up, I go around singing loudly "It's 3 oclock it's time to get up". It's sort of the pavlov's dog method-lol.
Mine also each have a book and a safe stuffed animal in their bed with them. When they lay down, they get a snuggle and lots of love, then I remind them that when they wake up, they can look at their book. "I will see you at 3:00"
There is actually an important brain function that happens when toddlers wake. It's called "Crib Talk", and the babbling & singing they do when they are laying there is processing what they are learning in another way.
From WIkipedia:
Crib talk or crib speech is pre-sleep monologue made by young children w:hile in bed. This starts somewhere around one-and-a-half years and usually ends by about two-and-a-half years of age, though children can continue longer.[1][2] It consists of conversational discourse with turn-taking often containing semantically and syntactically coherent question-answer sequences. It may contain word play and bits of song and nursery rhyme.
Crib talk has been found in deaf children in their early sign language.[3] It also occurs in autistic children.[4]
I set up a sort of white noise barrier (and I put them in seperate rooms in the house, something mom doesn't have the luxury of doing), so the others are not disturbed.
You have to sort of decide how much time he "should" sleep, or at rest and be relatively quiet so that the others can sleep. Kind of like the "lead a horse to water thing". You can't make him sleep for 2 hours, but there is no reason he can't play quietly for a half hour upon waking.
If he wakes up screaming, wait a few minutes to go in, and when you do, whisper "it's still sleepy time , everyone is sleeping". Maybe rub his back a bit, readjust his blanket, then leave again. Chances are, he will go back to sleep.
When it is time to get everyone up, I go around singing loudly "It's 3 oclock it's time to get up". It's sort of the pavlov's dog method-lol.
Mine also each have a book and a safe stuffed animal in their bed with them. When they lay down, they get a snuggle and lots of love, then I remind them that when they wake up, they can look at their book. "I will see you at 3:00"
There is actually an important brain function that happens when toddlers wake. It's called "Crib Talk", and the babbling & singing they do when they are laying there is processing what they are learning in another way.
From WIkipedia:
Crib talk or crib speech is pre-sleep monologue made by young children w:hile in bed. This starts somewhere around one-and-a-half years and usually ends by about two-and-a-half years of age, though children can continue longer.[1][2] It consists of conversational discourse with turn-taking often containing semantically and syntactically coherent question-answer sequences. It may contain word play and bits of song and nursery rhyme.
Crib talk has been found in deaf children in their early sign language.[3] It also occurs in autistic children.[4]
momma2girls 06:49 AM 01-13-2012
Is there any where you can place this child, so they do not wake up the others? I have one that used to scream when she woke up. I had to place her into a seperate bedroom away from everyone else. Now, she wakes up fine. I have 3 bedrooms that I can place children into, and it works out great.
beachgrl 10:24 AM 01-16-2012
I have one like that too, sleeps about 45 min at most most days and thinks she needs to be up wwlking around and when i have her go get back on her mat she screams and screams..then will stop, get up and try to walk off or wander and the whole thing starts over. I have been working on havingnher sit quietly in her mat and giving her books/quiet toys to play with if she is bring quiet but most of the time she just screams and the bad thing is, she is usually still visably tired. Its like if her eyes flutter open for one sec, she thinks its time to be up even with her eyes still rolling atound and yawning..but if i try to get her to lay back down for the most part thst just makes her madder and maybe one day out of five she will go back to sleep after even though she still looks and acrs like she could use more rest.
She often screams when she first lays fown but doesnt normally last long, there are exceptions to that as well as some days she seems determined to stay up..but i have to put her in another room w me and sit watching her till she goes to sleep or she will get uo asap if i walk away even for amsecond until she is asleep good. Then im lucky if i have an hour, the other dcb would sleep for two hours if she let hk. Wo screaming and waking him up!
Oh the joy of naptime lol
She often screams when she first lays fown but doesnt normally last long, there are exceptions to that as well as some days she seems determined to stay up..but i have to put her in another room w me and sit watching her till she goes to sleep or she will get uo asap if i walk away even for amsecond until she is asleep good. Then im lucky if i have an hour, the other dcb would sleep for two hours if she let hk. Wo screaming and waking him up!
Oh the joy of naptime lol
Ariana 10:36 AM 01-16-2012
Sounds like they might be having "night terrors" due to being overtired? A general indicator of being overtired is waking up crying and not sleeping long enough (as ironic as that is!)
countrymom 10:52 AM 01-16-2012
I have one too, acually 2. One family wakes the child up after 1.5hour nap and she wakes up screaming and the other child, he just cries. I know he's tired so I just let him settle himself. I've tried everything, but at home he doesn't do this, but at home he also has no schedual.
kidkair 12:02 PM 01-16-2012
I'd move him to a mat so that I could hold him a bit as he falls asleep and gradually back away earlier and earlier so that I get to the point he stays calm while I'm rubbing his back and eventually stays calm alone. A quick cuddle (meaning get there quickly) when he wakes early may help too because you'll soothe him before he's all the way awake. It's a process that has worked in just a couple weeks for me. I also have all the kids in the same room so that they see everyone else is going to sleep too. I start moving kids to mats as they turn 1.
daycare 12:41 PM 01-16-2012
Originally Posted by kidkair:
I'd move him to a mat so that I could hold him a bit as he falls asleep and gradually back away earlier and earlier so that I get to the point he stays calm while I'm rubbing his back and eventually stays calm alone. A quick cuddle (meaning get there quickly) when he wakes early may help too because you'll soothe him before he's all the way awake. It's a process that has worked in just a couple weeks for me. I also have all the kids in the same room so that they see everyone else is going to sleep too. I start moving kids to mats as they turn 1.
right now going to a mat would not work even if I wanted it to..... He would not stay on a mat if both of our lived depended on it..I'd move him to a mat so that I could hold him a bit as he falls asleep and gradually back away earlier and earlier so that I get to the point he stays calm while I'm rubbing his back and eventually stays calm alone. A quick cuddle (meaning get there quickly) when he wakes early may help too because you'll soothe him before he's all the way awake. It's a process that has worked in just a couple weeks for me. I also have all the kids in the same room so that they see everyone else is going to sleep too. I start moving kids to mats as they turn 1.
He has to be in a PNP
Heidi 04:12 PM 01-16-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
right now going to a mat would not work even if I wanted it to..... He would not stay on a mat if both of our lived depended on it..
He has to be in a PNP
Yeah, I'm with you, I don't move them to a mat until they are good sleepers & stay put. right now going to a mat would not work even if I wanted it to..... He would not stay on a mat if both of our lived depended on it..
He has to be in a PNP
Mine all have sleep sacks, so I can keep them in the pnp safely longer. No climbing out...
countrymom 05:56 PM 01-16-2012
mine are in pnp till they are good and ready too. There is no way i'm going to have them on mats.
mommiesherie 09:36 AM 01-17-2012
I have a box fan running in the hall or room the kids are sleeping in. That drowns out the noise of other kids and has a sound that soothes them when sleeping. I don't know about your laws in your state but its a great help to me for sleeping kids
Childminder 09:43 AM 01-17-2012
I have a sound machine that sits up on a shelf in the sleep room. Parents are amazed at how well and how long their children sleep in daycare. I have had screamers in the past and it only happens a few times till they "get" it is not acceptable to wake the others. Usually a couple of days of the stank eye 
or a few stern words and they stop.
or a few stern words and they stop.
daycare 10:23 AM 01-17-2012
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I have a sound machine that sits up on a shelf in the sleep room. Parents are amazed at how well and how long their children sleep in daycare. I have had screamers in the past and it only happens a few times till they "get" it is not acceptable to wake the others. Usually a couple of days of the stank eye or a few stern words and they stop.
but when the child is only 22 months old and very very stubborn, how do you tell them to stop?I have a sound machine that sits up on a shelf in the sleep room. Parents are amazed at how well and how long their children sleep in daycare. I have had screamers in the past and it only happens a few times till they "get" it is not acceptable to wake the others. Usually a couple of days of the stank eye
or a few stern words and they stop.
Heidi 10:42 AM 01-17-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
but when the child is only 22 months old and very very stubborn, how do you tell them to stop?
If you have another room to have him sleep in, get it ready with a pnp. If he cries, tell him "if you make noise like that, I can't let you sleep with your friends", and move him. but when the child is only 22 months old and very very stubborn, how do you tell them to stop?
My sister just made me sleep sacks for all my toddlers. I LOVE them so much, because I know they are safe in their beds. I always worry they could climb out otherwise..
daycare 10:44 AM 01-17-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
If you have another room to have him sleep in, get it ready with a pnp. If he cries, tell him "if you make noise like that, I can't let you sleep with your friends", and move him.
My sister just made me sleep sacks for all my toddlers. I LOVE them so much, because I know they are safe in their beds. I always worry they could climb out otherwise..
I guess I should have been more descriptive about where and how he sleeps.If you have another room to have him sleep in, get it ready with a pnp. If he cries, tell him "if you make noise like that, I can't let you sleep with your friends", and move him.
My sister just made me sleep sacks for all my toddlers. I LOVE them so much, because I know they are safe in their beds. I always worry they could climb out otherwise..
he is in a PNP at the other end of my house. My house is small, so no matter where I were to put him, his screaming is loud and startling, that it even makes me jump and Im awake....lol.
I have never met a child that is so stubborn in all my life. Any time the child has to do something that he does not want to, like eat food, change diaper or go to sleep. He SCREAMS bloody murder......
renodeb 10:48 AM 01-17-2012
Thats tough. I guess I have been lucky with the kids in my dc. Its almost like, they like getting on there mats. In my state we cant put them on mats until there 18 months. I usually wait until there 20 months though.
It could be the night terrors. I hate to open a can of worms on this thread but I think the co sleeping is acutally hurting the child in this case. The n eed to learn how to self sooth and sleep by themselves. Esp if there to be in dc some day!
Debbie
It could be the night terrors. I hate to open a can of worms on this thread but I think the co sleeping is acutally hurting the child in this case. The n eed to learn how to self sooth and sleep by themselves. Esp if there to be in dc some day!
Debbie
Heidi 10:53 AM 01-17-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
I guess I should have been more descriptive about where and how he sleeps.
he is in a PNP at the other end of my house. My house is small, so no matter where I were to put him, his screaming is loud and startling, that it even makes me jump and Im awake....lol.
I have never met a child that is so stubborn in all my life. Any time the child has to do something that he does not want to, like eat food, change diaper or go to sleep. He SCREAMS bloody murder......
sorry-you probably had that in the post earlier, but by now I'd forgotten it (didn't re-read everything).I guess I should have been more descriptive about where and how he sleeps.
he is in a PNP at the other end of my house. My house is small, so no matter where I were to put him, his screaming is loud and startling, that it even makes me jump and Im awake....lol.
I have never met a child that is so stubborn in all my life. Any time the child has to do something that he does not want to, like eat food, change diaper or go to sleep. He SCREAMS bloody murder......
IN his room, turn on a quiet radio station. In the rest of the house, box fan, run dishwasher, bathroom fan and oven vent...your electric bill will suffer a little, but one day he'll just stop, and then you can turn them all off again. Your sanity is priceless!
daycare 10:59 AM 01-17-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
sorry-you probably had that in the post earlier, but by now I'd forgotten it (didn't re-read everything).
IN his room, turn on a quiet radio station. In the rest of the house, box fan, run dishwasher, bathroom fan and oven vent...your electric bill will suffer a little, but one day he'll just stop, and then you can turn them all off again. Your sanity is priceless!
I do have the cable-tv music stations that I play for the other kids.sorry-you probably had that in the post earlier, but by now I'd forgotten it (didn't re-read everything).
IN his room, turn on a quiet radio station. In the rest of the house, box fan, run dishwasher, bathroom fan and oven vent...your electric bill will suffer a little, but one day he'll just stop, and then you can turn them all off again. Your sanity is priceless!
I have thought about doing it for the little one, but don't have any kind of musical device to plug in or any device that I could use where he is placed..
I am going to have to rethink how to make some form of nice noise happen...
thanks so much for your replies..