As you may know I have been progressivly growing a backbone here and the more I lay down the law the better I feel. Problem is I am noticing 1 DCM pushing back as often as she can. Maybe it's just me but it seems the more I crack down more problems I have but she will take it to a whole new area. Anyone else ever experience this?

Like yesterday DCM knows I do not want the kids out on the sidewalk alone. DCB almost got hit by a truck just a few months ago because she doesn't watch him when she leaves or arrives. Well she leaves and stands on my stairs. I ask if she needed something she said no just making a call. I said ok bye. She stands there on her phone. 2 yr old DCB goes down to the CURB! I am yelling for him to come back she stands there on the steps not even looking at him. I tell her to get him. She says he's fine. I keep calling for him to come back up on the porch. NO WAY will DCM make it to save him if he runs out ion the street! For about 3 minutes (long time actually) this goes on. DCB just stands by the car on the curb. DCM talking standing on my steps... I have 2 kids inside repeatedly bickering so I can't go out to the curb myself incase tehy get into it. DCM starts down the steps and I close the door.

Not even a minute after I shut the door she knocks and says DCD wants me to keep the kids longer tomorrow. I said how long? She doesnt know I just need to keep them so he can do some things. OK well will you be working? She hesistates and said not really. I remind her the subsidy program only pays for daycare while they are working. I look for DCB he is still at the curb!! I tell her she needs to get him before he goes into the street. She gets defensive and says "whatever he wanted me to ask if you would just keep the kids for a while but if it's a huge problem then fine". I said falt out NO sorry! Why should I watch the kids longer when neither one of them will be working? She then FINALLY goes and gets her child from the curb!!!

20 minutes later she calls leaves a voice mail saying "I need you to make copies of all of the reciepts you have given us last year because I lost them -giggle-" I call her back DCD picks up says same thing. I said sorry to hear that but I can't make copies just like that. I'm not ripping them out and I dont have time to stand and make copies of each little slip from a years time. DCD says "come on you know her you know what I'm dealing with she loses everything we need these to get taxes back" I said yes I do know her but so do you so why don't you get them from her. He says she doesn't give them to me. OK well just use the form I printed out for you. Of course he doesnt know what form she never gave that to him either! I told him it is an actual form from the IRS stating all of my info and my EIN number all filled out ready to go and I even wrote in the total they paid. I told her all she had to do was take that paper in. DCD says "Oh well she says it's lost too so can't ya just print out another one, no big deal" I went off! I said "Ya know Frank it is a big deal, you know how Deb is, you always tell me how she forgets everything, you need to figure something out at home to put a stop to this you are both adults!" He gets mad and says she loses stuff before he gets home. BS!! So I tell him "Then you need to have a spot saved on the refridgerator just for her to place all of the notes and things I send home. Then she can hang them there for you to see just like a child would hang their art work! I do not have a copy of that form, I do not have time to make copies of your reciepts either so I suggest you both look for what I have already given you TWICE now!" He didn't like that and said he would have her look for it and let me know if they can't find it.

Now technically I can write out on a piece of paper the details they need but after their entitled attitudes acting like me and the rest of the world owe them why should I? What would you do?

What would you do to put a stop to all this stupid button pushing? Besides term. Not in the position to do that right now but it's going there as soon as I get 2 other kids in!

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I think you talk to them way to much

I never ever answer a question that is sprung on me at the doorway. I always say "write me an e-mail or call me this evening to discuss it because I have to check my calendar". This will always give you time to say "no".

If they asked for a receipt I would have said "I'll get it to you when I get a chance" end of story. Hopefully I'll get around to it, maybe not. You already gave it to them once so it's no longer your issue.

As for the kid on the street I guess I'm a nasty bugger because again, it's not my problem!! I certainly wouldn't be chastizing a mother to go get her son when she has no interest. Once the parent arrives at my door the kids are no longer in my care.

They are adults but it sounds like you're treating them like kids!! Sorry

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I agree with the kids in the street thing. Once they leave my doorway, they are responsilbe for their own children!

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But you are 100% right.


The only thing I would sort of disagree on is the child in the street. Until they leave my property I can be held responsible so I would have said somehting like "MOM HANG UP NOW AND GET YOUR CHILD!!!" Yes, I would have spoken in all caps too!!

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Are you kidden' I would of grabbed that phone and hung it up...That would of gotten her attention. Don't make calls while dropping your child off specially if your child could possible getting in a dangerous situation. I understand that you can be at fault for any accident on your property...but it's a parents responsibility to safely guide a child inside her caregivers home if she out write said it was ok..that's on here...If I got sued bc of a accident on my property I would fight it bc of just that. You tried to make the parent be responsible and she wouldn't. As far as the taxes I would just tell them to have their tax person call you for the inform. I always do all of mine on the computer and save it and if they loss it I can reprint but every once in a while I will have a parent at the tax persons place and want to get address and id inform. I have no problem with this even if I gave it a half dozen times. As long as I am getting paid I don't have any problems.

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But technically speaking is the curb still your property? My property ends about halfway down my front lawn according to my City rules. My tree isn't even my property!!

If it actually was still your property and you would be held liable I would be doing something about that for sure.

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Yes they are adults but they act like kids so I think sometimes I have to treat them as such. They never pay on time and payment is about a buck a day!

I will try not to talk to them so much. I just get sucked in by the usual "poor us" in general conversations and THEY are at the root of the poor situations they put themselves in. Then they act like I am the bad guy for not helping them out. They blame everyone else for their problems.

Today was pay day and again I am not paid, small amount but still... The reason. Their caseworker didn't pay their shut off in time so they need my money so they can have electric. Why should I suffer?

She brings her little girl in capris sometimes and when I tell her she will be cold outside she says it's not her fault because that's what she was given by the donation it's up to them to get the childs size right. Here we have a place you can go pick out a few outfits every week for free if you need them. I told her about it she said she doesn't have time her man needs the car to go out. (thought you didnt have any money?)

Another problem has been diapers. "Can't you borrow some from 1 of the other kids here because they (donation group) only gave us 1 pack this month so we have to make do" BS stop buying your cigarettes, snuff and mountain dew and supply some diapers for your kids!
*This I dont budge on at all and I make them supply them or the kids can't come!

The toddler on the curb I can't just let go. I care for these kids it would break my heart if anything happened to him. Especially if I could have prevented it. I saw him come very close to getting hit by a huge delivery truck 1 day and that image will be burned into my mind forever!!

Thanks for your help ladies! You are right I will have to start biting my tongue and stop discussing things. It's just sometimes they are so simple and things can be solved so easily by taking a little bit of responsibility. I am just SOOO tired of the "poor me" attitude I get.

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start charging for every additional copy of paperwork you have to provide parents. that should solve it pretty quickly

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Yeah, I agree that the curb is NOT my property but I had a mom who would repeatedly let her 2 yr old run down the street while she behaved just as the OP's dcm did. My neighbor called the police and the police talked with the mother but they also told me that technically until the mom gets in her vehicle and leaves my property all together, I 'could' possibly be held responsible.

I reported the issue to my licensor and she too, said that I 'could' be held liable as well although she agreed that I shouldn't be, she did however stress that IF the child had been hurt, the story would get around and of course my name would be mentioned and did I really want to be tied to something like that?

So, although I legally do not think I could have been held accountible, I do see her point so that is where I was coming from....

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That's a great idea too!! Of course they won't have the money tho.

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PitterPatter they are definately acting like children!! It sounds like you have a big history with these people. People like this never get ahead because their heads are so far up their butts!!

I really feel bad that you have to deal with this. I have a DCM who is similar. She would have a sob story for me all the time. With my husbands help and help from this forum I realized the only thing I have control over is how I let her affect me and how I conduct myself. Whenever she started with the sob story I started smiling and nodding and she magically stopped. I also started saying "send me an e-mail" to requests at my door so I could get out of it without being put on the spot. I bought clothes for her child so I could dress her appropriately and not have to deal with it (I have a DD so the clothes will eventually fit her anyway) etc etc. She told me the other day that she got a call from the school about the lunches she sends her child with to school and how it's nothing but junk. They have problems wherever they go and not one single thing you say to them is going to change them!! Just figure out a plan of action to deal with them

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You could start charging her for the amount of time she's still on your property

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Email great idea but they don't have a computer. I have bought the kids outfits, many actually. The jeans I have not seen again. I know I know my fault for not changing them out of them but I forgot in an early pick up 1 day.

This DCM has always lingered and ran her mouth and made excuses but lately since I started enforcing things she has gotten worse like she will show me kinda thing I'm assuming.

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"You need a copy? The original was a courtesy from me. Each additional copy I make for you will cost $x.xx for paper, ink and my time. I will have it ready for you to pick up the next day."

I'd have a hard time dealing with dc parent who behaved like this. I give you credit!

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That is what I do. Sign out time isn`t until they have left the property. If they want to stay and chat, or let little Johnny finish his art work, throw fits on the floor, etc, the clock is still running.

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I charge $10/lost receipt

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I have had problems in the past with people wanting two or even three copies of receipts.

This year I put a note on the door saying they get ONE receipt only.

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I would:

-start charging for "extra" copies of paperwork/receipts/etc. I would do like $5 per page too, so that they won't WANT to lose it.

-Tell the parents that supplies must be provided by them and that you will not use another child's property for theirs

-Give them a community handbook with other places to find clothes and let them know that for the price of cigarettes, Goodwill has options where they can get several items for their child.

-when they start talking "woe is me" put your hand up and tell them you have to get your kids ready to do...(make something up). If they continue to try to talk to you about their tales of despair, tell them you cannot listen to it; say "I'm really sorry you are going through a hard time...however I cannot really get involved unless it involves a change with the baby" and leave it at that.

-When they say they can't pay (ALWAYS take payments IN ADVANCE but if you ever slip...) tell them that you understand and that you will take the child after they get caught up and on their feet again.

-When they blame the state, be very clear that it's up to them, not the state, to ensure that you are paid. (Don't let them talk about their food stamps or things that have nothing to do with you)

-Do NOT be their friend!

-CHARGE them for additional hours and do what a pp said. Them "Can you watch Johnny tomorrow?" YOU: You know, call me later so that I can check my schedule and see if that will work for us. Remember: You are not an on-call babysitter and you don't have to be available on the days you are not normally scheduled. What if YOU had an appointment? Would you cancel it for them? No you shouldn't have to. People need to have more respect for you and you need to let them KNOW that you are not going to be a pushover.

***For the child in the street: Put a sign on the door: NO cell phones in use when d/o or p/u kids. This is a LAW in my state on any school or daycare anyway, so why should your home be different? It's for the safety of the children. I believe the school one says:

NO CELL PHONES IN USE ON SCHOOL PROPERTY INCLUDING IN THE BUILDING.

They will actually ask you for your phone too and if you violate the rule more than 2x, they will fine you. You have the right to tell them that if they continue to ignore the kid while they are on the phone, you will have to terminate immediately and call CPS as they are putting their child in immediate danger through this form of neglect. I also have a sign for cigarettes (Also illegal for them to smoke or even throw their cigarette butts on my property).

- Have a sign that says: You MUST walk IN HAND with your child TO MY DOOR. Parents are responsible for any accidents on this property due to negligence. Have this also in your handbook and make parents acknowledge THEIR responsibility (Both signed and initial) if their child gets hurt once you close the door, but they are still on your lawn or driveway or whatever. If you have every base covered, most people won't mess w/ you but you have to stick to your guns.


(Side note: this neighbor wanted to see my dog. My property. My dog bites. He could get hurt. He chose to put his hand through the fence on my property and "experiment" I told him prior that I would not pay for any damages that could occur if he should get bitten even though he's on my property. I let him know that he is CHOOSING to put his hand in my dog's mouth AFTER being warned...therefore he'd pay everything. My dog didn't end up biting him, but I wouldn't have paid a dime. If I tell you something and you ignore me? YOUR fault! That said, I would absolutely try to stop said child from running in the street if I could, but that doesn't mean you can't make it abundantly clear that this mom should actually get the stick out of her behind and take care of her child properly!

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I agree with no cellphone on the premises. Put a big sign on the front door, and explain it to the rest of your families...no names of course. "We've had a problem with ANOTHER family",...lol If she ignores it, just tap her on the shoulder and point!

Co-pay in advance, from now on. THe next time they hand you their $5, tell them you would like their next co-pay as well, and that they should plan on this from now on. "Gosh, I know it's been tough to stay caught up; this way, YOU won't have to worry about falling behind"

Copies $5
No diapers? Well, you can run and get some, or you can pay $5 for the day (in advance), and I will provide them today.

You need me to keep the kids until when? Sure, but since the state doesnt cover that time, the fee will be $-, IN ADVANCE.

I think it's time for a sit down, period. "I just adore having Bobby, but I have been rather frustrated with a few things, and I'd like to make sure we are on the same page. My job is to take awesome ....... I insist that you respect that. I would really like to move past all this and just focus on Bobby".

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