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daycare 12:17 PM 04-18-2011
So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

I do not offer a religous program and have never had this issue before. In my DC we come from all walks of life, very different back grounds...

I was so caught off guard by this complaint, that I had to cut off the DCP and come up with a white lie to get her off the phone. I really needed to think this over and talk to someone else about how to go about how to deal with it......

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?
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Zoe 12:23 PM 04-18-2011
That's tough. She may have been checking that it wasn't you who was "pushing religion" on her child. I would just reassure her that you keep it neutral in your daycare out of respect for all beliefs. However children don't understand that people have different beliefs at this age, so it's very innocent when they talk about God.

Honestly, that's all you can do IMHO. It's not like you should be discouraging a child who is sharing prayers. Once a kid learns something new regarding religion, it's the parents' job to handle it. Not yours. That's my 2 cents.
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daycare 12:26 PM 04-18-2011
that sounds like a plan.. lol I think that I was just shocked about it in the frist place.. I was like well if I didnt teach them then what are you so upset about... It's not liek she came home saying the "F" word. I would never discourage a child from feeling that prayer is wrong, but I guess I can tell them that is something we only share with our mommy and daddy?
Does that sound ok?
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Cat Herder 12:27 PM 04-18-2011
Zip...... Hang up a bright colored "Dream Catcher" and let them "pray", "make a wish" or "vent" to it.

Same principle, sorta, and get's you off the hook for the religion discussions with the kiddos.

If you need to avoid the "Native American" aspect (adults are so temperamental these days ) them I remember Barney had a Dream Catcher movie (or the like)...it was an egg that hatched into a "dream catching" stuffed animal of sorts that comforted kids from the clouds with a magic wink.....

Still, it may help with the issue. All kids like to wish and believe someone out there is listening and understands them, YKWIM? Whether they are taught they are "wishing" to "God", a "Dream Catcher" or a "shooting star", the fantasy aspect of it is still there....

All religion aside.
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Blackcat31 12:27 PM 04-18-2011
This is when educating your own child comes into play. It is no different than a child who teaches his playmate on the playground a swear word. YOU teach YOUR child that it is not okay to use the language he has heard/learned from others.

Look at the situation as if you don't know what the parent is referring to only that another kid taught her child something she doesn't like such as a bad word, how to have a sword fight or maybe even how to pick their nose.... How would you or her handle it?

There are all sorts of things out in the big bad world that are not appropriate for certain people and all we can do as a parent is to teach our own children what we, as a family, view as right/wrong or acceptable or not.

In your situation, I would explain it to the mother the same way. Tell her, "I am sorry so and so taught your child ____, but what a great opportuity for you to teach your child what you believe."

You cannot change other people only yourself.
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Symphony 12:54 PM 04-18-2011
I have four kids (3 twos and 1 three yr old) that say prayers when they sit at the table for meals, one is mine. I have never initiated or participated in it, but I would never not allow it. Most of my families attend the same church, but two do not.

Saying a prayer before meals is what is normal for these children. It is part of their culture. I would never tell them they aren't allowed to do so.
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daycare 01:11 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
I have four kids (3 twos and 1 three yr old) that say prayers when they sit at the table for meals, one is mine. I have never initiated or participated in it, but I would never not allow it. Most of my families attend the same church, but two do not.

Saying a prayer before meals is what is normal for these children. It is part of their culture. I would never tell them they aren't allowed to do so.
I totally get where you are coming from and I personally would not mind it... However, now that I know that there are parents that are offended or upset by it, I think it would be best to ask the children to save prayers for family time.....

In this case, I will have to discuss it with both parents and hopefully not create a world war.....lol
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DBug 01:27 PM 04-18-2011
I think I'd rather use this as an opportunity to teach tolerance to the kids AND the parents. You could talk about different cultures and the associated religions, even with relatively young kids.

Idk, I just always prefer to open up dialogue rather than shut it down, kwim? I think it teaches kids to be more accepting of people in general, and not to judge them based on what they believe or how they look or where they come from. Just my 2 cents
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youretooloud 01:31 PM 04-18-2011
This always bugs me. I can see if YOU were teaching it, she could be upset.

I had a very, deeply religious boy at one time. The other kids played rescue hero, he played "Paster John". He even pretended to have a pulpit and a microphone. It was adorable!

But, I had one mom get furious because one day she overheard him say "I'll pray for you" when her son was having a meltdown. He genuinely meant that! He wanted to say a prayer for Colten, but Mom was horribly offended.

I stepped in before she could make some mean comment to John... but, she called me before she was out of the neighborhood telling me to "Make that kid stop saying those things Colten". She even mentioned that she wanted to say something to John's mom.

I never did come up with a good way to do that... I just intervened a lot.
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daycare 01:31 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by DBug:
I think I'd rather use this as an opportunity to teach tolerance to the kids AND the parents. You could talk about different cultures and the associated religions, even with relatively young kids.

Idk, I just always prefer to open up dialogue rather than shut it down, kwim? I think it teaches kids to be more accepting of people in general, and not to judge them based on what they believe or how they look or where they come from. Just my 2 cents
I have no knowledge of any of the religions here of the children in my care. I honestly feel that this is the parents place to teach them . They would not teach this in a public preschool or grade school. I think it would be too risky. What if i teach a child something and a parent does not agree with it and so on? I think that religion and politics are best kept for the parents to teach and discuss.
Just a can of worms that I don't want to open..not now not ever.....
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ninosqueridos 01:41 PM 04-18-2011
yikes, I wouldn't know what to say either
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Former Teacher 01:50 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

I do not offer a religious program and have never had this issue before. In my DC we come from all walks of life, very different back grounds...

I was so caught off guard by this complaint, that I had to cut off the DCP and come up with a white lie to get her off the phone. I really needed to think this over and talk to someone else about how to go about how to deal with it......

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?
I once had a Jehovah Witness family. The mother didn't want her son to say the Pledge of Allegiance. So every day I would have to take this 4 year old boy out of my classroom. Then it got to point where it was just a hassle. So I suggested he sit by the cubbies while the other children stand. It bothered me that I made him feel like an outsider.

One day his mother confronted me. The boy saw a flag and put his hand over his heart and said the Pledge. His mother was furious! She DEMANDED to know if I made him say the Pledge. Ummm no but he hears and sees it everyday. While I fully respect all religions, I can not and will not change my curriculum just for one child.

This mother didn't want the boy to attend school parties (she kept him home). Oh and on his birthday she didn't want anyone to know but yet she reminded me by whispering to me it was his birthday Anyway that day our cook who knew EVERYONES birthday...gave him a big hug and said happy birthday! before I could say anything. Sad thing was...DCB looked at the cook and said...you can't say that to me.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking.
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daycare 01:54 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
I once had a Jehovah Witness family. The mother didn't want her son to say the Pledge of Allegiance. So every day I would have to take this 4 year old boy out of my classroom. Then it got to point where it was just a hassle. So I suggested he sit by the cubbies while the other children stand. It bothered me that I made him feel like an outsider.

One day his mother confronted me. The boy saw a flag and put his hand over his heart and said the Pledge. His mother was furious! She DEMANDED to know if I made him say the Pledge. Ummm no but he hears and sees it everyday. While I fully respect all religions, I can not and will not change my curriculum just for one child.

This mother didn't want the boy to attend school parties (she kept him home). Oh and on his birthday she didn't want anyone to know but yet she reminded me by whispering to me it was his birthday Anyway that day our cook who knew EVERYONES birthday...gave him a big hug and said happy birthday! before I could say anything. Sad thing was...DCB looked at the cook and said...you can't say that to me.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking.
Ug are you serious....that sounds like my DCP that is a dentist, but has a 3.5 year old on the pacy and a 2 year old still on the bottle....hahahahh gotta love it..
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youretooloud 01:59 PM 04-18-2011
Former teacher's story reminded me of this..

I live in a mostly Muslim neighborhood. On Saturday, some Jehova's witnesses were out speaking to the neighbors. Two of them were very young.. like maybe 17. When they got to our house, my husband was already in the yard trimming trees. One of the young guys said "Oh, please tell me you aren't Muslim???" My husband said "It depends on what you are selling" The older men with them looked at the poor kid with withering glares. LOL
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grandmom 01:59 PM 04-18-2011
IMHO you should tell the mom that you didn't teach the child the prayer. And then remind her that although you did not encourage it, you can not and will not monitor and sensor every conversation children have. The praying child has a right to his/her belief too. And you shouldn't have to tell that child they can't pray at your home.

Just wait till the kid gets to school and can check out books the parent would never choose.... ohmygosh. Don't even get me started.
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daycare 02:06 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Former teacher's story reminded me of this..

I live in a mostly Muslim neighborhood. On Saturday, some Jehova's witnesses were out speaking to the neighbors. Two of them were very young.. like maybe 17. When they got to our house, my husband was already in the yard trimming trees. One of the young guys said "Oh, please tell me you aren't Muslim???" My husband said "It depends on what you are selling" The older men with them looked at the poor kid with withering glares. LOL
lmao that is too funny....

I dont ever care to discuss religion with anyone NOt ever.... lol Where I am from, you can't openly discuss different religions so I just avoid all conflict by not talking about it.... Well other than my own family.... and even then sometimes we get into heated debates...lol
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Unregistered 02:18 PM 04-18-2011
This is why prayer was taken out of the public schools and a lot of people want to take the word "under God" out of the pledge of allegiance. It's also why the ten commandments was taken out of the court house. I don't know why these things should be so offensive. If a person doesn't believe in God, then why would it bother them if someone said a prayer or the words "under God" in the pledge, etc? It's kinda like Santa Claus (would the mom be mad if another little girl told her's that Santa really was real?). I know that's a really bad comparison, since Santa isn't real, but in this mom's opinion neither one would be. I can understand if the child had taught her a bad word she didn't want her to know, but a prayer?! If it's not real, then why would it matter so much to her? I guess I'm not getting it. To this mom, why would a prayer be any different than a story, poem, rhyme, or finger play? How could someone tell a child not to talk to God while they're at daycare? To a little child who doesn't understand (which apparently I don't either ), it'd be like trying to tell them that they can't talk about their mom or dad at daycare. Her little girl is going to run across things like this all her life. She will in either public or private school, in her workplaces among co-workers or customers (no matter where she works), just in the general public, period. I mean, go out to eat, and they will likely see or hear someone praying before they eat.
So my advice is to just let the mom know it wasn't you who taught it to her. That should be enough. I would have been shocked too and had to take a minute to figure out what to say. She doesn't need any explanation or "plan of action".
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daycare 02:38 PM 04-18-2011
So I called DCP that made the complaint and basically told her that I was not aware that the conversation ever took place and that I was not able to monitor every conversation that takes place here.

I then went on to tell her that I will ask the child (the prayer, lol) to save her prayers for special time with mom and dad. That I don't want to discourage her from her prayers or beliefs, but I would just tell the prayer how nice it was and that we need to share those at home. Invite them to tell a different kind of story.

I then went on to tell her that she has to understand that we all come from different walks of life and that I feel it is the parents place to teach their child about religion, I could not promise that it would not happen again.

She said she understood that, but said that she feels that my DC is not the place for these kinds of discussion and that she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...I laughed and agreed with her.

I told her that i was sorry (yes I am a butt kisser lol) and that I would do my best to keep religion at home, again with out discouraging it..........ugggh does that even make sense?? lol

So it went over ok. She did said that after we got off the phone the first time that she realized she was over reacting just a little bit.... thank god...oh wait can I say that? jk
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PitterPatter 05:39 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
So I called DCP that made the complaint and basically told her that I was not aware that the conversation ever took place and that I was not able to monitor every conversation that takes place here.

I then went on to tell her that I will ask the child (the prayer, lol) to save her prayers for special time with mom and dad. That I don't want to discourage her from her prayers or beliefs, but I would just tell the prayer how nice it was and that we need to share those at home. Invite them to tell a different kind of story.

I then went on to tell her that she has to understand that we all come from different walks of life and that I feel it is the parents place to teach their child about religion, I could not promise that it would not happen again.

She said she understood that, but said that she feels that my DC is not the place for these kinds of discussion and that she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...I laughed and agreed with her.

I told her that i was sorry (yes I am a butt kisser lol) and that I would do my best to keep religion at home, again with out discouraging it..........ugggh does that even make sense?? lol

So it went over ok. She did said that after we got off the phone the first time that she realized she was over reacting just a little bit.... thank god...oh wait can I say that? jk
LOL I wonder what issues she will have with a jr/high school when the kid gets there.

I would never sit and teach prayers but when they are shared I don't mind. It's usually brief little kid type prayers anyway. "dear Lord we thank u for our food amen" I would never discourage a childs prayers. There's too much negativity, anger, hate etc in this world now. If a child is leaning towards the good I say let her have her freedom of speech, as long as she's not a preachin! Can I get an amen? ~running away~
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daycare 05:41 PM 04-18-2011
lmao that was funny.... Yeah I don't really know what parents think is going to happen when thier child starts public school..... Do they think that the teacher won't do something becuse "of their" child? Or change a lesson for "their child".

It's called AMERICA people....lol sorry
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Kaddidle Care 06:36 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?
I think it's very sad that this parent felt this was a reason to complain. To the child, if he/she's young enough, a prayer is no different than a nursery rhyme.

Originally Posted by daycare:
she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...
Perhaps, deep down she realizes she is being a nit picker.

Please do not discourage the child that offered up prayer. Lord knows we all can use as many prayers as we can these days.

Just wait until her little darling comes home off the school bus saying the "f" word.

If something so small as a prayer sets her off then she's in for a wild ride in life.
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ammama 06:50 PM 04-18-2011
I teach all my kids a few prayers - but not religious ones. We say them at meal time, to give thanks to the earth for all that we have, but they really are in no way religious at all. Maybe you come up with a little one to teach the kids that they can say together. It would fill their need for something higher, without offending any of the parents? Maybe? Of course, you can't please everyone, and there is no point in trying

Dear Earth, who gives to us this food
Dear Sun, who makes it ripe and good
Dear Earth, Dear Sun, by you we live
Our loving thanks to you we give
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daycare 06:52 PM 04-18-2011
I love that little poem.... I think that I could get away with that making sure that I was clear that it was just a poem and not a prayer...
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Country Kids 08:24 PM 04-18-2011
This saddens me so much that the little girl is being discouraged from doing something so sweet and very innocent at her age. To tell her to keep her prayers for mommy and daddy just is very, very sad. What she thought was a good thing is being now turned around and in her mind make her think what she did was bad.

I for once would love for someone when they are addessed with an issue like this is to stick up for the one with a belief-prayers, Bible reading, talking about Jesus, etc. Right away it was as if the offended one had all the rights and it better end right there or else. That is just wrong in my opinion.

Also what are you going to do when the parents of the little girl who prayed ask you why she isn't allowed to pray? I know it is very hard to be stuck between the middle but I would have probably told the complaining parent that you don't run a religious childcare but you will have children with it in their life. Then let them know that you are there to provide care for many children and you can't single out one child because of their beliefs.

I had a friend who did run a childcare and had a religious curriculum, prayed, read Bible storie, the whole bit. Everyone in the childcare knew this and then one day a parent decided she didn't want that for her child and would my friend change it. Ah, no I don't think so. The parent finally left seeing she wouldn't win the fight.

So you might be prepared for the parents of the other little girl to have questions for you. You are going to really need to explain it the best you can or you might lose this little girl. You never know how parents may react to something like this or how the little girl may start acting since she may feel like she did something bad.
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daycare 08:33 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This saddens me so much that the little girl is being discouraged from doing something so sweet and very innocent at her age. To tell her to keep her prayers for mommy and daddy just is very, very sad. What she thought was a good thing is being now turned around and in her mind make her think what she did was bad.

I for once would love for someone when they are addessed with an issue like this is to stick up for the one with a belief-prayers, Bible reading, talking about Jesus, etc. Right away it was as if the offended one had all the rights and it better end right there or else. That is just wrong in my opinion.

Also what are you going to do when the parents of the little girl who prayed ask you why she isn't allowed to pray? I know it is very hard to be stuck between the middle but I would have probably told the complaining parent that you don't run a religious childcare but you will have children with it in their life. Then let them know that you are there to provide care for many children and you can't single out one child because of their beliefs.

I had a friend who did run a childcare and had a religious curriculum, prayed, read Bible storie, the whole bit. Everyone in the childcare knew this and then one day a parent decided she didn't want that for her child and would my friend change it. Ah, no I don't think so. The parent finally left seeing she wouldn't win the fight.

So you might be prepared for the parents of the other little girl to have questions for you. You are going to really need to explain it the best you can or you might lose this little girl. You never know how parents may react to something like this or how the little girl may start acting since she may feel like she did something bad.
trust me i completely undertand what you are saying. I have never dealt with this type of situation before and really didnt know how to resolve it.

I hear what you are saying and do feel the same about not allowing the child to say prayers here. It is so hard to explain this to a child and I am still trying to find ways to better handle the situation.

However, I will NEVER discuss or teach religon. I don't know anything about the religon of the children in my care and the two things in life I dont discuss are religion and politics... Religion is for the parents to discuss with their children, not me...won't even open that can of worms.

I was thinking that I could ask the prayer to pray with her our class bear. We tell him everything. This way she won't feel that it is wrong, I dont ever want to discourage a child from their beliefs....
this is such a touchy subject and really don't like talking about it....

I will not address the family of the child that was praying, becuase praying is not wrong and after thought, don't feel that I need to address it with them. It would only cause conflict and it's not necessary.

honestly, I still think I need to take some time to figure this one out, as it just happened today.

do you have any suggestions on how to better resolve it? I am open to advice
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QualiTcare 10:50 PM 04-18-2011
this is sad. my parents didn't go to church when i was a child and i never asked many questions, but i did attend church with my grandmother (who was catholic) and my aunt (who was baptist) on a regular basis.

when i was about 13 i told my aunt, "i don't feel anything when the preacher is preaching. i don't feel anything when everyone is praying. i really don't want to go to church anymore." she had the preacher talk to me and he said something like, "sometimes you can't feel the wind, but you can see the leaves moving" blah blah. his sermon didn't work. i stopped going to church and haven't been back. it's not for me. i consider myself to be agnostic. i can't say that "God" doesn't exist (there's no way to prove he doesn't) but i also don't believe that he does - which there's also no way to prove.

however, i live in the bible belt. when kids at school asked what church i went to and i told them i didn't go, i thought they might die. for that reason, and because of the fact i want my children to make up their OWN minds - i let them attend church with my aunt. they talk about "God" often and they have no clue what i believe or don't believe.

what's so funny is that christians are supposed to be so "tolerant" but i imagine they'd have a cow if their child who was born into a christian family didn't believe in god. however, i don't believe in god, and i send my kids to church. isn't that something?
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daycare 10:59 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
this is sad. my parents didn't go to church when i was a child and i never asked many questions, but i did attend church with my grandmother (who was catholic) and my aunt (who was baptist) on a regular basis.

when i was about 13 i told my aunt, "i don't feel anything when the preacher is preaching. i don't feel anything when everyone is praying. i really don't want to go to church anymore." she had the preacher talk to me and he said something like, "sometimes you can't feel the wind, but you can see the leaves moving" blah blah. his sermon didn't work. i stopped going to church and haven't been back. it's not for me. i consider myself to be agnostic. i can't say that "God" doesn't exist (there's no way to prove he doesn't) but i also don't believe that he does - which there's also no way to prove.

however, i live in the bible belt. when kids at school asked what church i went to and i told them i didn't go, i thought they might die. for that reason, and because of the fact i want my children to make up their OWN minds - i let them attend church with my aunt. they talk about "God" often and they have no clue what i believe or don't believe.

what's so funny is that christians are supposed to be so "tolerant" but i imagine they'd have a cow if their child who was born into a christian family didn't believe in god. however, i don't believe in god, and i send my kids to church. isn't that something?
My husband is exactly like you. I think that it is fair of you to allow for your children to decide for themselves. In my country were I was born there was no choice for me.

I feel that it was awful of that parent to ask me to tell a child not to pray! Wtheck really? I guess the way I see it is that this America land of the free.

Some of the people that I admire the
Most here in the US are the ones that knock on all the doors in my neighborhood to share their beliefs. Where I came from you would not make it off the door step alive if you did this.

I hope that the parent that complained realizes how silly she is being and will realize that children will say whatever whenever and they don't see praying as a deed to be done in private. I am still shocked about the request.
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daycare 11:01 PM 04-18-2011
Sorry I can't edit my post

I meant to say that I admire the people who knock on the doors to share their religious beliefs..
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QualiTcare 11:10 PM 04-18-2011
there are very few people who know i don't believe in god. i have people i've known for years that don't know - not because i'm ashamed, but because i don't feel that it's important to share. my first boyfriend was a muslim. i was best friends with someone (who wasn't my bf only because i already had one) who was a mormon. i've always opened my door to mormons (bc they come knocking at the door) and i'm respectful, but i let them know they're wasting their time.

i just think it's totally unfair that children who are born into a religion aren't given a choice. how many children born into a catholic church aren't dragged to church every sunday? likewise, how many children born to atheist/agnostic parents are ALLOWED to go to church? i think if christians are so devout and so sure of their religion then they should have no issues with their children being exposed to other religions. the fact that they don't want them exposed speaks volumes IMO.
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Meyou 01:47 AM 04-19-2011
I'm glad she admitted she overreacted.

I've been that parent which I will admit at the risk of sounding unpopular in this thread. I'm not a crazy unreligious fanatic but I am agnostic and I am careful to determine if the info my kids recieve is accurate according to the beliefs of my household. I also am equally careful to explain and help them understand the differences between religions and beliefs.

When my oldest started school I called her teacher once near Christmas when my dd came home and told me I was a big, fat liar because Ms. C said that God created the earth etc, etc. Now I didn't freak like your parent did...I just asked for the context of the lesson. It turns out they were reading creation myths because the holiday concert was multinational and of numerous religious demoninations. All good and kinda cool. I sat my dd down and we had a talk about how different people believe different things and all was well in our little world again.

My oldest dd now attends two different churches occasionally with two of her friends and is exporing her own path. I considered myself her guide to an open mind until she was ready to take over. Whatever she choses is all good with me as long as she can respect that we may have different beliefs.

When I was younger and less sure of myself as a parent and in my spiritual path (or lack thereof) I was VERY defensive about my beliefs and how they affected my children. Now...not so much. I've had the "You lied to me!" happen more than once since the first time and I've realized that they're going to be exposed to alot of things I don't agree with and I can live with that. I'm secure enough that I can explain myself to them or I can live with the fact that what Keona (a 7 year old) told my 7 yr old HAS to be the TRUTH because HER MAMA told her. Lol Even I can see the inconsistancy there of expecting my kids to believe only me when her mama must be right too. lol

I hope I shed some light on the other side.
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Meyou 01:52 AM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i just think it's totally unfair that children who are born into a religion aren't given a choice. how many children born into a catholic church aren't dragged to church every sunday? likewise, how many children born to atheist/agnostic parents are ALLOWED to go to church? i think if christians are so devout and so sure of their religion then they should have no issues with their children being exposed to other religions. the fact that they don't want them exposed speaks volumes IMO.
I totally agree.

And I love to chat with the mormons...well at least the two ladies that come to my door! They have some fantastic (albeit bias) literature sometimes. I got a book from one yesterday which addresses popular questions about religion and it's links to science and they supports the answers with quotes from the bible. How "correct" is it? Not sure....but it's very interesting reading. They're coming back in two weeks to discuss it with me. lol I think at this point there are just as interested in hearing what I have to say about it as I am to see what they have for me. lol I don't believe much of what I read from them but we do have lively conversations about it.
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SandeeAR 05:03 AM 04-19-2011
Well, in this crowd this will probably get me flamed, but her goes.


I am a Christian and run a Christian Daycare. We pray before each meal, watch Childrens' Christian music videos and learn the bible songs and even read bible stories. At any interview, I make sure parents know this. If they don't want their little darlings to learn about Jesus, then my home is not for them.

Personally, I think the mother overreacted. Little children share what they know. I think the child sharing the prayer has just as much right to NOT be silenced, as the other child. If she chooses to tell her little darling at home not to do the prayer, then, that is her choice. However, to expect the DCP
to silenced the other child is wrong. That is just like telling them now, don't talk about Barney, he is purple.

Is he allowed to ever watch Sesame Street? Yesterdays episode was about the Jewish faith. Is she going to put him in a bubble?

Again, this is the mother's problem to deal with, not the DCP.
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PitterPatter 05:38 AM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
Well, in this crowd this will probably get me flamed, but her goes.


I am a Christian and run a Christian Daycare. We pray before each meal, watch Childrens' Christian music videos and learn the bible songs and even read bible stories. At any interview, I make sure parents know this. If they don't want their little darlings to learn about Jesus, then my home is not for them.

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I won't flame u. I have respect for every religion even atheists have their right to opinion. Being that u discuss this openly with the Parents before they even enroll makes it ok in my book. If a parent has an issue with it then it is their choice to go elsewhere for care. No problem. I wouldn't mind my son learning more about Jesus so we would enroll in your program. We do go to church. Now come Christmas and Easter I do mention Jesus and God but briefly. I just don't teach my DKC about Jesus daily because of the possible issues that could arise. BUT u cover that from the get go so all is good!
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momofsix 05:53 AM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
there are very few people who know i don't believe in god. i have people i've known for years that don't know - not because i'm ashamed, but because i don't feel that it's important to share. my first boyfriend was a muslim. i was best friends with someone (who wasn't my bf only because i already had one) who was a mormon. i've always opened my door to mormons (bc they come knocking at the door) and i'm respectful, but i let them know they're wasting their time.

i just think it's totally unfair that children who are born into a religion aren't given a choice. how many children born into a catholic church aren't dragged to church every sunday? likewise, how many children born to atheist/agnostic parents are ALLOWED to go to church? i think if christians are so devout and so sure of their religion then they should have no issues with their children being exposed to other religions. the fact that they don't want them exposed speaks volumes IMO.
My children have NEVER been "dragged' to church. They go with us because when they were little they went wherever we went...be it the store, the restaurant, grandma's or church. Now that they are older (13-26) they go b/c they want to!
As a parent there were a lot of things I didn't expose my young children to. All parents have a belief system that they want their children to learn. Whatever it is, that is their choice. As kids get older, they will question things on their own. We live in America and it's 2011. There is no way to shelter kids like that anymore (unless you're amish!)
For example: I didn't have to bring my girls to the mosque for them to learn about muslims...my dd's roommate is muslim and has spent many weekends at our house, interacting with our whole family. They will learn about whatever they want to learn about...you know how kids are! I didn't bring them to a satanic church, because I didn't want them to go-that doesn't mean i'm insecure in my faith...it means I'm careful about what I allow around my children (as are all parents)

To the OP, you did nothing wrong and neither did that little girl. I would just tell the other mom that you can't stop her from praying, if she doesn't want her daughter to say it then she can tell her daughter that. It's on her, not you.
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GretasLittleFriends 06:17 AM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Lord knows we all can use as many prayers as we can these days.

Just wait until her little darling comes home off the school bus saying the "f" word.

If something so small as a prayer sets her off then she's in for a wild ride in life.
Not saying this mother particularly, but some parents would be more comfortable with little Johnny saying the f-word or any other curse over a prayer. Like you said, we can use as many prayers (good thoughts, positive vibes, whatever you want to call them) as we can these days!

I am Christian (Lutheran to be specific). My grandma lived with us, she was a devout Catholic, my dad grew up Catholic and even went to parochial school at the elementary age. That said, I find religion fascinating. Not just the Christian religion. I am always interested in learning more. For the longest time I thought Satanism was worshiping the devil with sacrifices and the like. I got a copy of the Satanic Bible and it is all about self worship and you are solely in charge of your own life (destiny). Very interesting. I have my own personal beliefs that don't necessarily tie into the Christian church, but to other religions I've learned about, and I think the God I worship is ok with that.

When I interview a new family I do inform them that though I am NOT a Christian based daycare, I am Christian. We have a Christmas Tree up, and a Nativity scene at Christmas. We celebrate Easter as well. We go to church (almost every Sunday). I teach Sunday School once a month. My kids are likely to talk about church/religion related things. They are taught that different people believe different things and taught to respect those differences, but at the same time, I can't always prevent them talking about our religion. Most of my families have Christian based values and celebrate major holidays. I have one dad who is not religious, but Santa and the Easter Bunny still visit.
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Unregistered 08:21 AM 04-19-2011
Does anyone get upset when someone says "Bless you" after a sneeze?
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Mike Lassiter 09:47 AM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by momofsix:
My children have NEVER been "dragged' to church. They go with us because when they were little they went wherever we went...be it the store, the restaurant, grandma's or church. Now that they are older (13-26) they go b/c they want to!
As a parent there were a lot of things I didn't expose my young children to. All parents have a belief system that they want their children to learn. Whatever it is, that is their choice. As kids get older, they will question things on their own. We live in America and it's 2011. There is no way to shelter kids like that anymore (unless you're amish!)
For example: I didn't have to bring my girls to the mosque for them to learn about muslims...my dd's roommate is muslim and has spent many weekends at our house, interacting with our whole family. They will learn about whatever they want to learn about...you know how kids are! I didn't bring them to a satanic church, because I didn't want them to go-that doesn't mean i'm insecure in my faith...it means I'm careful about what I allow around my children (as are all parents)

To the OP, you did nothing wrong and neither did that little girl. I would just tell the other mom that you can't stop her from praying, if she doesn't want her daughter to say it then she can tell her daughter that. It's on her, not you.
"You believe what you believe, and I'll believe what I believe" - words from a county song. Frankly to those who are easily offended by "things" others do; what business is it of yours? If you want to pray, what right does another have to say otherwise? If you happened to be among a group who did, and you didn't; you wouldn't like having their ways shoved down your throat either. As I get older we seem to think that "we" should be able to run everybody else's business. What happened to us?

I saw some people not long ago in public eating. BEFORE anyone took a bite, they all lowered their heads and silently prayed! I sat a couple of tables away and noticed it. Wow, I thought - you don't see that much any more!

Personally I do not. I was raised that way, and chose not too when I got out on my own. However, when my family comes for Thanksgiving and Christmas these last few years we have taken to offering a prayer before anyone eats. Is it right or wrong?
As a country we use to have much higher morals than today. You can see it by watching TV. What you see (and hear) is often not fit for little eyes and ears; but it has become the accepted way. Those who choose NOT to accept that way have every right to do so.
I have yet to met a person who didn't consider themselves a "good" person. Yet some feel their beliefs or ways should be the way everybody else lives. Doesn't the freedom we have in our country allow for differences? What makes your way the only way?

To the lady with the child praying in your daycare, I hope you consider telling the complaining mom, she might want to go elsewhere if that is such a big problem for her. "Good" people pray. They pray for others enduring loss of a family member, or some hardship because they care enough about others to want to help. It may or maynot actually help, but most of the time they are the people who do so many other things besides "just" pray. They bring food, offer what help they can. What a sad cold place we all will live in when the believers have to start believing in secret AGAIN because they are no longer allowed to in public.
There are good people that do not pray as well. Those people are not trying to control the others, but agree to disagree and live together. We can all do that if we would just expect to yield sometimes. It's like smoking, the smokers have that right, as do the non smoker to not breath the smoker's smoke. I smoked for decades and stopped. I don't kick up about those that do when I am around them. If the smoke bothers me, I move. They don't blow it in my face, and we all get along fine.
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daycare 04:30 PM 04-19-2011
So you want me to tell the parents that thier child was praying so they should find a different DC? Please tell me why I should do this? I don't understand you reason for it.

It's not like the child is being shuned or not accpeted here. We love our friends and there is nothing wrong with what the girl did. I can't help it if there is a parent that does not agree with something someone did. Guess what, just like others said, this woman is in for a rude awakening for when her child goes to public school.

I really dont understand your advice.
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Country Kids 05:05 PM 04-19-2011
Daycare-I think Mike is saying the lady who was complaining should find another childcare if she was offended or not happy.
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daycare 05:09 PM 04-19-2011
lol I think I was still suffering withdraws from the sever being down.... I just reread it again...lol.

thank you for clearing it up for me...hahha DetaDe.....lol
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Mike Lassiter 05:30 PM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
So you want me to tell the parents that thier child was praying so they should find a different DC? Please tell me why I should do this? I don't understand you reason for it.

It's not like the child is being shuned or not accpeted here. We love our friends and there is nothing wrong with what the girl did. I can't help it if there is a parent that does not agree with something someone did. Guess what, just like others said, this woman is in for a rude awakening for when her child goes to public school.

I really dont understand your advice.
No that wasn't what I meant. That child has every right to pray if she wants too. I meant tell the parent that was complaining about her praying; if it bothers her that much maybe she should look else where. I would expect later that she will find something else some other child says or does that she will take offense to. And again she will expect you to accommodate her wishes. I agree with you - there is NOTHING wrong with the child praying. So why should you try to fix something that ain't broke? If she wants to totally control the environment that her child is exposed to - perhaps she should keep her herself.
There is nothing about one child praying with another that should cause anyone to be offended. One child is raised up in a good and proper way, and influenced another child by doing what she was taught. That's heart warming in my opinion, because generally children learn things from their peers that aren't exactly what we want them to as their parents. I would be very proud of my child for it rather than looking to "protect" her from it.
The child seems to have better sense and judgement than the mother IMO.
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PitterPatter 05:31 PM 04-19-2011
I just gotta add this. It's funny how some people who claim not to believe in God or those who poke fun at others who do believe and practice faith. Later in life u see the same people begging for God's help when something bad happens. I have seen it many times.

My son and I get made fun of by a few family members, at large family gatherings when we suggest saying prayer before eating dinner. Things have been said like "oh whatever" and the person digs into the food. Another will be a smart arse and say "yeah rub a dub thanks for the grub" and dig in. When my Mother suggests the family allow my son to say prayer those family members roll their eyes. Now wouldn't u know it as soon as a health issue arises they ask for help from God. Money problems need a job, help God... I just want to ask them, Where were u when it was time to be THANKFUL for what HE has already given u?
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daycare 05:42 PM 04-19-2011
Originally Posted by PitterPatter:
I just gotta add this. It's funny how some people who claim not to believe in God or those who poke fun at others who do believe and practice faith. Later in life u see the same people begging for God's help when something bad happens. I have seen it many times.

My son and I get made fun of by a few family members, at large family gatherings when we suggest saying prayer before eating dinner. Things have been said like "oh whatever" and the person digs into the food. Another will be a smart arse and say "yeah rub a dub thanks for the grub" and dig in. When my Mother suggests the family allow my son to say prayer those family members roll their eyes. Now wouldn't u know it as soon as a health issue arises they ask for help from God. Money problems need a job, help God... I just want to ask them, Where were u when it was time to be THANKFUL for what HE has already given u?
today my exhusband was here visiting our daughter and he brought up something that really striked me was that TV today is so plastered with sex based commericals and TV shows and parents allow their children to watch TV. But you never see anything about religon, like a kid/adult praying or doing something in regards to ones faith.... That right there sends the message that it must be wrong..... I guess since I don't really ever watch TV much and if I do, I record the shows and fast forward through the commericals that I have never really taken notice..

But you are so right about those who shun the idea when its not NECESSARY for them and then when things take a turn they are the first one down on their knees.....

ohhh ughhh what can we do.. We cant do everything right to make everyone happy. Lucky today the issue was not brought back up and things went on as if the crazy mom never called and complained...
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Kaddidle Care 06:27 PM 04-19-2011
Matthew 5:5 - it's a good-un!
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David12 12:33 AM 04-20-2011
You can not and will not talk to each child to monitor and sensors. The right of children to pray for his / her faith. And you should not tell kids they can not pray
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jen 07:46 AM 04-27-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
today my exhusband was here visiting our daughter and he brought up something that really striked me was that TV today is so plastered with sex based commericals and TV shows and parents allow their children to watch TV. But you never see anything about religon, like a kid/adult praying or doing something in regards to ones faith.... That right there sends the message that it must be wrong..... I guess since I don't really ever watch TV much and if I do, I record the shows and fast forward through the commericals that I have never really taken notice..

But you are so right about those who shun the idea when its not NECESSARY for them and then when things take a turn they are the first one down on their knees.....

ohhh ughhh what can we do.. We cant do everything right to make everyone happy. Lucky today the issue was not brought back up and things went on as if the crazy mom never called and complained...
The Mormon faith has been running a lot of ads both on TV and on radio. But you're right. Sex sells...
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daycare 09:44 AM 04-27-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
The Mormon faith has been running a lot of ads both on TV and on radio. But you're right. Sex sells...
well just when you think that everything is running smoothly in DC there is always a surprise hiding around the corner...lol

DC def keeps me on my toes thats for sure.
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JoeJoe24 05:11 AM 02-05-2021
I have to say.. I have always found it odd that parents are appalled when their children come home reciting prayers. As a highly-educated professional, one who finished graduate school, I have found it odd that people want to distance themselves from God. First off, this is a Christian founded country, but we are doing everything we can as a whole to banish God from the country. It's absolutely astounding to me that people wonder why so many negative things happen i.e school shootings, pandemics, hatred, racism, and etc. The answer is simple. God has been removed from everything. The goodness of the world is eroding away leaving nothing but sterile, emptiness in its place. It has always been my belief that if God was included more, there would be less hate-driven, racism, xenophobic, etc. people in this country, and more people focused on living together in harmony.
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VictoryCare 07:14 AM 02-05-2021
Most of the time, I think those that hate are brought up to hate from very young ages, I think that if kids were taught tolerance and that GOD made us all in his image than maybe things might be a lot better, this is just my opinion
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Springvalley 04:16 PM 02-05-2021
We are a Christian based center and we have the children do a prayer before meals & the parents don't have any problems with it. We also read a Bible story from a children's Bible and pray.
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Unregistered 04:50 AM 02-08-2021
I would tell mom that you understand she is upset but you don't teach religion but you also can't stop children from talking about it on their own privately. It is the same with some families believing in holiday myths and others not believing.
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Cat Herder 05:07 AM 02-08-2021
This thread is from 2011.
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Tags:2011, praying
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