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Old 03-13-2019, 08:06 AM
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misskjp misskjp is offline
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Default Bullying Child Wants to Be in My Program

Hi all,

I run a program for elementary school kids, before and afterschool care. I also offer full time drop in care on school days off, snow days etc.

Right now I have a child who only comes on drop in days because my AM/PM spots are full. Every time she comes, we have issues with her bullying and picking on the other children. She calls names, pushes, and just tries to diminish the other kids whenever she can. I've even felt as though she was trying to bully me She unfortunately seems to not understand boundaries between adult and child, she is very bold (she is 8). Up until now, I have dealt with these issues by having her apologize, then redirecting the activity or separating her from the other child.

I have an opening next school year for AM/PM care and this family wants to come on board. Am I wrong to tell them I don't have space? I feel like as a business owner I should be fair and impartial in terms of accepting clients, but know this is inviting drama.

If I do take her on as a client, does anyone have tips/tricks for dealing with this type of behavior? Because I only see her on a very limited basis right now (I only watched her 4-5 times last year), I have not addressed these issues with the parents (probably a mistake, I realize). I assume best practice would be to document the behaviors as they occur and address on an ongoing basis?

Sorry, lots of loaded questions here, I know! I wish in some ways I could have a positive impact on this child's life, but I don't want to set myself up for failure :/ Thanks for listening, you all have been so helpful with my questions. I'm glad this forum is here
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:24 AM
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Nope. Just nope. She’s giving you a glimpse of what you will be dealing with and clearly the parents allow this kind of behavior. And parents of children who act like this typically view their children as the victim and it will not end well. I would just say your spots are full.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:25 AM
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I’d pass. That behavior isn’t something I’d be willing to subject the other kids to—especially not every day!
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:26 AM
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There's nothing wrong with passing on a client you don't think is the right fit for you or your program. Actually, it's HEALTHY to do so! Choosing clients who mesh well with you and your existing group is what helps combat burnout.

If it were me, I would tell them that I don't think my program is the right fit for her. I would suggest a few programs that might be a good fit (likely school programs or camps) and wish them well.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:45 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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I'd pass.

My responsibility is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for a group of kids. It is not fair or impartial to allow one child to continually bully another. I'd also let her go on drop-in days, her parents need to be told why or the problem will continue to be passed from one provider to another.
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Old 03-13-2019, 11:50 AM
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Pestle Pestle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cat herder View Post

my responsibility is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for a group of kids. It is not fair or impartial to allow one child to continually bully another.
bingo.
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