Decline Potential Family

[spud912]

I don't know if I'm being overly picky or my initial screening is not working. I've had several interviews and they really liked me but I felt like they weren't good fits. The most recent family I did not feel comfortable with because they said their child is a brat (which I didn't like them calling her a name), they said she plays rough, they asked if they have to change her out of her pjs and diaper before arriving, they asked if I provide potty training (which made it seem like they want me to do all of the work), and they didn't seem to share my priorities (which include healthy food and preschool environment). The child has never been in child care before and they didn't seem to understand group care. The parents were super friendly, but I just don't feel comfortable. How do I let them down nicely? I usually am deciding between 2 families and I say I went with someone else, but that's not the case here and I'm still advertising.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by spud912

I don't know if I'm being overly picky or my initial screening is not working. I've had several interviews and they really liked me but I felt like they weren't good fits. The most recent family I did not feel comfortable with because they said their child is a brat (which I didn't like them calling her a name), they said she plays rough, they asked if they have to change her out of her pjs and diaper before arriving, they asked if I provide potty training (which made it seem like they want me to do all of the work), and they didn't seem to share my priorities (which include healthy food and preschool environment). The child has never been in child care before and they didn't seem to understand group care. The parents were super friendly, but I just don't feel comfortable. How do I let them down nicely? I usually am deciding between 2 families and I say I went with someone else, but that's not the case here and I'm still advertising.

Honestly, I'd just be truthful.

I would tell them you appreciate their interest but don't feel at this time their child would be a good fit for your program.

I wouldn't elaborate on why exactly and more than likely they aren't going to reply back with "But why?!?"

On the slight chance they do, I would simply ignore.

Technically you did everything you should have to do.
Scheduled the interview, conducted the tour and notified them that the space won't be offered to them.

Done. You don't owe them an explanation or any additional communication after that.

[Ariana]

This is why I like the 6 weeks trial period. I have had many parents tell me their kids are crazy but really the kids just need rules and structure and they adjust well eventually. After 6 weeks I have a better understanding if the family is a good fit or not. I have termed a few people in that time and just say "its not working due to xx behavior".

At this point I would simply say "I don't feel your family is a good fit for my program, thank you for your interest". If they respond with "why" simply ignore.

[trix23]

Good idea on ignoring. I usually respond out of kindness but seems better to ignore.

[hwichlaz]

I'd go with "Your family wouldn't be a good fit in my program." rather than "child"

[Meeko]

I tell all parents that want a place that I am interviewing with several families for the same spot and that I will let them know by such-and-such date when I decide which child to take. That way, it is easy to just write an email thanking them for their interest, but that the place has been filled and good luck with their search.

It has also stopped ALL of the parents who come by thinking they are interviewing me for a job. By stating that I will decide which child I am accepting into care lets them know that they are not in charge and the choice is mine.

[daycare]

go with your gut. If you felt that it won't work, then stick with your gut and pass.

When I meet with families, I tell them that I am interviewing several families and that we are looking for an over all "best fit". I also don't ever take anyone who wants to enroll day of.

I would just shoot them an email or whatever you method of communication is and tell them that you are still interviewing families and that you will get back to them when you make your decision.

no harm no foul.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by Meeko

I tell all parents that want a place that I am interviewing with several families for the same spot and that I will let them know by such-and-such date when I decide which child to take. That way, it is easy to just write an email thanking them for their interest, but that the place has been filled and good luck with their search.

It has also stopped ALL of the parents who come by thinking they are interviewing me for a job. By stating that I will decide which child I am accepting into care lets them know that they are not in charge and the choice is mine.

I do this as well. I don't directly tell anyone they aren't a good fit, however, as people in my community would have a COW with such phrasing and I would be badmouthed everywhere.
I phrase it as the spot is no longer available. It truly isn't available...for THEM. It might still be available for another family. Families that I don't enroll due to whatever reason get put on a Do Not Enroll list with the reason why.

Also, I think it's getting harder to find good families that fit. I had 6 families interested in 1 spot. I only found 1 to be a good fit.

[Mom2Two]

Originally Posted by Ariana

I have had many parents tell me their kids are crazy but really the kids just need rules and structure and they adjust well eventually.

Same here. Usually I find that what parents say about their child and what I actually experience just aren't the same thing. I think that we just become super awesome guidance ninjas, and the little tykes barely stand a chance

[Mom2Two]

Originally Posted by Meeko

I tell all parents that want a place that I am interviewing with several families for the same spot and that I will let them know by such-and-such date when I decide which child to take. That way, it is easy to just write an email thanking them for their interest, but that the place has been filled and good luck with their search.

It has also stopped ALL of the parents who come by thinking they are interviewing me for a job. By stating that I will decide which child I am accepting into care lets them know that they are not in charge and the choice is mine.

[spud912]

I declined politely, stating I'm ideally looking for a child who is potty trained and felt like we were not a good fit, and they did not respond . I usually say that I'm interviewing other families but to be honest I was not. I can't say the spot was filled with another family when it is not and I'm still interviewing.