Daycare.com Forum Daycare Management Software

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-18-2017, 04:02 PM
Baby Beluga's Avatar
Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,900
Default Thoughts On This Child

Child will be 2 in November. Started with me in November of 2016.

Child still doesn't listen well. Generally I will address the group as a whole. Ex: "Okay everyone, get your cups and go to the table." Everyone will then get cups and go to the table.

This child won't. He will sit and stare at me. If I touch the child on his back or shoulder and say "DCB get your cup and go to the table." He will continue to stare at me. If I say it 2 or 3 additional times he will then get his cup and go to the table.

Every single day. Multiple times a day. With the exact same instructions.

Is this normal?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-18-2017, 04:15 PM
TheMisplacedMidwestMom's Avatar
TheMisplacedMidwestMom TheMisplacedMidwestMom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Alaska
Posts: 735
Default

No help other than to say, I have this same child, only he turned 2 over the summer. The whole group can literally leave the playroom and go to the kitchen to eat and he will continue to do his thing (even the baby crawls to where the crowd is). I've chalked it up to age, and that (from my own observation) his parents don't expect him to respond to verbal requests. They say "let's go this way" then walk over and pick him up before he has a chance to move. Or "put your shoes on" then start putting them on him before he gets a chance to try. He is also given choices for EVERYTHING. Do you want eat or play? Do you want shoes or socks or both? I think between his age and home environment he just doesn't understand that when I speak a request I expect an action in response.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-18-2017, 06:06 PM
KiddieCahoots's Avatar
KiddieCahoots KiddieCahoots is offline
FCC Educator
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Utopia
Posts: 1,351
Default

I agree. Sounds like the child is catered to, but only you can really know for sure by the background.
First child can be catered to by parents, 2nd or 3rd, by siblings.
Sometimes parents feel guilt for having to work, and do the pity care after hours when home, catering to all.
A lot of parents get caught up in not knowing how to expand their parenting style/skill with the growing child and get stuck in baby mode, limiting the child's potential.
Then there is also the possibility of a hearing deficiency.
Talking to the parents and involving them more to what is going on can help....but then again, only you really know by the background.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-19-2017, 12:40 AM
ColorfulSunburst's Avatar
ColorfulSunburst ColorfulSunburst is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Bronx, New York
Posts: 643
Default

are you sure that he can hear well?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-19-2017, 02:31 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Try talking slower with few words. Maybe he's not processing what you are saying fast enough. Or partner him with a kid that can help him. Joey let's help Conor out his cup away Then high 5 Joey. Some kids need somoeone to model for them and assist them until they get it.

I wonder if he watches a lot of tv or iPad at home. ?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-19-2017, 03:05 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,601
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulSunburst View Post
are you sure that he can hear well?
this was my first thought as well
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-19-2017, 04:43 PM
Snowmom's Avatar
Snowmom Snowmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,654
Default

I have a child like that. Except he's 4.
Once I stopped repeating myself and just used gestures (like motioning my hand to get going), it started getting a bit better.

But yes, I would mention it to the parents to have them check his hearing.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-20-2017, 01:51 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

Yeah, maybe hearing. But also other factors could play into it. He could be like DD...or Dory...and have memory and/or processing problems.

When I did mom n tot gym with DD when she was two, the teach could give all the kids instructions and the others would run off and do them. But DD had to have one thing said to her at a time and it had to be right in her face and I had to say her name.

When we finally got her assessed, we were told that her working memory (short term memory) is very weak.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-21-2017, 03:30 PM
Baby Beluga's Avatar
Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,900
Default

Without a test I can't say with 100% certainty that this little one doesn't have hearing issues but he has given me zero indication that he does. It seems to be that I have to address him directly, touch him, look him in the eye and repeat myself for him to get it.

A few notes on him. Yes, he is VERY catered to. Both by parents and older sibling.

I am unsure on electronic time although older sibling gets a lot of electronic time.

Today when lunch time came I told him to "go to his chair." He refused. Looked at me, looked at the other children going to their chairs, then just sat. I had to physically pick him up off the floor, put my hand on his back and guide him to his chair.

Tips for how to solve this with him? I will suggest a hearing test with mom but partnering him up with another child is not an option.

Mom2Two would you mind sharing with me what you did to help your DD? If you're not comfortable talking about it here, please feel free to PM me
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-21-2017, 03:47 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,960
Default

I have an 18 month old who is like this. He is not hard of hearing because whenever I say "lunch time" he bee lines it for the stairs he is so excited! My thought is that this child is very sheltered and has helicoptor parents, so nothing is required of him. He is not used to getting directions or having to follow any sort of task. I have to lead him most places and continue to repeat directions to him while pointing. It is very frustrating. I also suspect low cognitive functioning as there are a few things he does that are odd...but could also be blamed on low expectations at home.

In my experience with a deaf/partial hearing child, there would be many more symptoms and odd behavior. Not all deaf/partial hearing children are the same of course.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-21-2017, 04:08 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga View Post
WIt seems to be that I have to address him directly, touch him, look him in the eye and repeat myself for him to get it.

A few notes on him. Yes, he is VERY catered to. Both by parents and older sibling.

Mom2Two would you mind sharing with me what you did to help your DD? If you're not comfortable talking about it here, please feel free to PM me
One way to get an idea of if it's working memory, would be at a time when he's being cooperative about something, see how many steps of instruction he can remember and do at once without reminders. Can he do two related instructions? Two unrelated instructions? How about three related/unrelated. How many can the other children do who are the same age as him? Choose something where he'll be motivated and cooperative.

"Eat a green jelly belly then a red one" is one idea for related instructions. Or "wash your hands then sit up for an oreo."

Unrelated would be "put your shoes by the front door then get paper for drawing."

Refusing to sit up for a meal seems a little odd to me. How many children don't want to eat, even ornery ones?

If he really did have a short term memory problem, the way to deal with it is to teach to the long term memory. So lots of practice, repetition, explanations, different learning modalities so on and so on. Also waiting for development to catch up. Kids sometimes just aren't learning at their age level.

Unfortunately there isn't much to help him with actually healing, at least not in a short amount of time. There is debate amongst psychologists on if people can even be healed at all from it, but I believe they can.

Working memory is part of an IQ test. Since DD has a discrepancy in her IQ (average/ish for two parts, weak for two, and very weak for one) they gave her a "differing abilities" test. That test focuses on the idea that some people just need to learn "work arounds" for their weaknesses. In the case of working memory, the work around is to rely more heavily on long term memory.

I have a 5 yo who, I believe, has a below average IQ. Mom and dad are really smart and are struggling with this, but he'll be getting assessed soon. However, he has also learned to milk it. He often claims that things are too hard just because he doesn't want to do them. He also ignores rules he doesn't care for or instructions that he is perfectly capable of remembering. His family is the one who did nanny share over the Summer, and of course he got totally untrained from my ways.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-22-2017, 04:53 PM
Baby Beluga's Avatar
Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,900
Default

Thank you for sharing those - I am certainly going to "test" him here to see what happens.

So far he cannot do two unrelated actions. Two related actions are so/so but certainly more on the "cannot" side than "can."

As far as doing something without a reminder. I don't think that has happened once here.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-22-2017, 06:08 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga View Post

As far as doing something without a reminder. I don't think that has happened once here.
I mean like tell the instructions once for him to do immediately then not repeating yourself. I don't mean like not reminding of routines.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-22-2017, 06:59 PM
Baby Beluga's Avatar
Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,900
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
I mean like tell the instructions once for him to do immediately then not repeating yourself. I don't mean like not reminding of routines.
Okay, that makes sense.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
catering, hearing problems

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do Your Daycare Kids Act Out at Pickup? jenh171 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 72 12-13-2018 05:57 PM
Consequences theycallmetaytor Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 4 12-26-2012 05:09 PM
Assessment Sheet??? daycare Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 3 09-25-2012 05:31 PM
Drop Off Problem... Dsquared Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 02-11-2011 11:52 AM
Daycare Parents Handbook DancingQueen Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 24 12-04-2010 01:35 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:16 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming