Parent Cursed Out One Of My Teachers, Then Hung Up

[Kplace]

Run large program. Got a rude parent and not sure what action to take. In the last 5 years we have put in a policy of suspension or immediate dismissal for rude, disruptive, or bullying behavior from parents. This is the first time it's happened since we instituted the policy.

Jonny did not have a permission slip to leave our program and state licensing requires it. One of the school teachers came down to our program ( we are in a school)stating dad sent her an email giving permission for Jonny to participate. The child missed maybe 5-10 minutes but was able to go. The dad called soon after and yells at her that our program and paper bureaucracy is ****. The teacher who did not allow his son to go to leadership program was ****. His son missed eating pizza at leadership bc our program was ****. (fyi his son did not miss eating pizza) and then hung up on her.

What to do? I personally will not tolerate anyone abusing our staff. No one should fear going to work because of a parent who might lose his top at the smallest thing.

Knowing this parent will cause holly hell with the school principal and board, how do I discipline the parent. They are a new family and it is only the second week of school. You know if this doesn't get nipped in the bud, he will continue to verbally abuse my staff.

I feel like a warning is to light but a 3 day suspension would be too much. He did not threaten her. If he did that, he would be done.

What do you all think?

[flying_babyb]

I say give them the warning and a days suspension. Remind them that if it happens again X will be the consequence. Also remind them that having the permission slip is important. What if the kid said he had to go to X and really didn't and took off? Dad would be even more mad. Sometimes it just takes that reminder to help

[hwichlaz]

This was not rude or bullying, it was abusive. I'd expel.

[kendallina]

I would disenroll. You said a policy was recently put in place, were consequences put in writing??

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Kplace

Run large program. Got a rude parent and not sure what action to take. In the last 5 years we have put in a policy of suspension or immediate dismissal for rude, disruptive, or bullying behavior from parents. This is the first time it's happened since we instituted the policy.

Jonny did not have a permission slip to leave our program and state licensing requires it. One of the school teachers came down to our program ( we are in a school)stating dad sent her an email giving permission for Jonny to participate. The child missed maybe 5-10 minutes but was able to go. The dad called soon after and yells at her that our program and paper bureaucracy is ****. The teacher who did not allow his son to go to leadership program was ****. His son missed eating pizza at leadership bc our program was ****. (fyi his son did not miss eating pizza) and then hung up on her.

What to do? I personally will not tolerate anyone abusing our staff. No one should fear going to work because of a parent who might lose his top at the smallest thing.

Knowing this parent will cause holly hell with the school principal and board, how do I discipline the parent. They are a new family and it is only the second week of school. You know if this doesn't get nipped in the bud, he will continue to verbally abuse my staff.

I feel like a warning is to light but a 3 day suspension would be too much. He did not threaten her. If he did that, he would be done.

What do you all think?

Follow your policy. That's what it is there for. I would not even CONSIDER suspension. I would terminate immediately. I would not allow them back for 1 more minute. You have this policy for a reason. Having a hothead parent who flips out on you or your employees is a liability. What if he had done this in front of the kids? It could happen next time. I think that you should contact this parent right away in the morning and let them know that you will NOT accept the child after school tomorrow or ever again because of his abusive behavior.

[Josiegirl]

His response was extremely rude. And from what you said, your policy says suspension or dismissal. I'd give him one more chance, suspend him a day(or however long your policy states) and warn him if it happens again, it's dismissal from the program. Someone with that much anger doesn't sound like someone who's going to change anytime soon. And you cannot allow it to happen, especially with kids involved.
Good luck!!

[daycarediva]

Originally Posted by hwichlaz

This was not rude or bullying, it was abusive. I'd expel.

Originally Posted by Leigh

Follow your policy. That's what it is there for. I would not even CONSIDER suspension. I would terminate immediately. I would not allow them back for 1 more minute. You have this policy for a reason. Having a hothead parent who flips out on you or your employees is a liability. What if he had done this in front of the kids? It could happen next time. I think that you should contact this parent right away in the morning and let them know that you will NOT accept the child after school tomorrow or ever again because of his abusive behavior.

They wouldn't step foot in my program again. DONE.

[DaveA]

To me there are things that would lead me to terminate care rather then suspension/ warning.

1) A warning and even a short suspension probably wouldn't get the "Don't ever do that again" point across to the type of DCP who would treat their child's teacher like that. So it would probably happen again the first time DCP was mad enough to go off again.

2) Terminating care will give the message to your staff that you have their back. If a DCP cussed me out over their screw up and the director gave them a slap on the wrist and let them back in my room I'd start updating my resume ASAP.

[Cat Herder]

"And now Johnny will miss out on this entire opportunity because Dad was an ***."

Unless he brings the class pizza, the teacher chocolates and sincerely apologizes.

[Blackcat31]

Another vote for termination.

If you give a second chance it sends a horrible message...
(see 1, 2, 3 do you give warnings thread...lol!)

Verbal abuse is one of those things that sits in the NO TOLERANCE category.

If DCD was that concerned about making sure HIS child was allowed to participate HE should have done HIS part as a PARENT and not pass blame onto anyone else.

[laundrymom]

"Program participation is terminated immediately due to parental behavior. "

[Pestle]

I would terminate immediately. Otherwise, you've told this parent that he can call in and scream at you when he's made a mistake and doesn't like it. Make it clear the bridge is burned.

Your employees need to know you've got their backs. When I was in customer service, my boss sometimes stood between me and an abusive customer. Because he valued his employees more than just one customer, and because he enforced the company culture of respect, he was surrounded with loyal and hard-working employees. That's the culture you have the opportunity to build here. . . or to destroy.

Your enrolled parents need to know you're providing an environment that's a safe space for everyone. They'll lose trust in you if this gets around.

The best thing you can do for this child is demonstrate that his dad's behavior will not get results. Additionally, if this kind of verbal abuse is going on at home, affirming its unacceptability will help the child name it for what it is and avoid the dissonance that kids experience when the community gives their abusers a pass.

[daycare]

I am another vote for term.

what kind of message does this send to your employee if you don't follow the rules you set? you made rules and EVERYONE follows them.

to me that says yes there are rules and even if you break them, I am not going to enforce them.

I would stand my ground and follow through with your rules.

[Josiegirl]

Originally Posted by Pestle

I would terminate immediately. Otherwise, you've told this parent that he can call in and scream at you when he's made a mistake and doesn't like it. Make it clear the bridge is burned.

Your employees need to know you've got their backs. When I was in customer service, my boss sometimes stood between me and an abusive customer. Because he valued his employees more than just one customer, and because he enforced the company culture of respect, he was surrounded with loyal and hard-working employees. That's the culture you have the opportunity to build here. . . or to destroy.

Your enrolled parents need to know you're providing an environment that's a safe space for everyone. They'll lose trust in you if this gets around.

The best thing you can do for this child is demonstrate that his dad's behavior will not get results. Additionally, if this kind of verbal abuse is going on at home, affirming its unacceptability will help the child name it for what it is and avoid the dissonance that kids experience when the community gives their abusers a pass.

Seeing the whole situation put this way, I'm changing my mind. Everything Pestle said makes perfect sense. But don't forget telling all the right agencies what went on in case dcd is the vengeful sort.

[Mom2Two]

Yelling, accusing, swearing...this is aggressive and intimidating behavior. It is verbal abuse. It is threatening behavior.

No teacher should have to put up with being treated this way. If dcd has an issue, he needs to learn to communicate politely, follow policy, take it up with the chain of command or whatever, not just yell at people.

[Ariana]

My thoughts exactly!! Terminate. If he has to come to the premises to pick anything up consider a police presence.

[Baby Beluga]

Another vote for term. PP's are right, if you don't term you are sending the message to DCP that is sort of behavior is okay and sending a message to your employee that you do not support them in the workplace. I too would be updating my resume.

I am interested to find out an update.

Another vote for termination. If a dcp called me (home provider) and spoke to me that way, boom, gone.