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Old 09-21-2017, 10:57 AM
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Default Screaming, Not Crying

=I have a dck that is 2.5. any time the child needs to be separated from the group for any reason it goes straight to screaming. the screaming is horrid and will go on forever.

nothing will calm the child.

I have tried telling the child,lets take a break, and then we will go back, but if you scream we are going to have to take a nap. nothing works. I don't always say you will have to take a nap, but I try to tell the child what will happen if they scream.

the parents said the same thing happens at home. I am at a huge loss. we can't just the the dck hit others or do the things they are doing without being told that it's not ok or etc. I don't know what to do.
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Old 09-21-2017, 11:00 AM
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I'm going to say he's most likely not redirected at all, or the parents do, then give in and/or do whatever it takes to make the screaming stop.

I would redirect away when he needs it, and ignore the screaming (I know, VERY hard to do). I would tell the child "You are mad. It's ok to be mad. It is NOT ok to scream. You may do ____ when you stop screaming."

CRY SPOT.

and patience.
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Old 09-21-2017, 11:19 AM
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I second the cry spot! It works wonders for my niece and although she still needs it from time to time it's nowhere as frequent as it was. We have an upstairs cry spot, a downstairs cry spot and an outside one. She also has one at home and her parents are great with it. Rules are simple, have your fit, act like you don't care, when you calm yourself you can get yourself up. Don't say another word to the child. My niece is 22 months and we've been using it for awhile, they catch on quick.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I'm going to say he's most likely not redirected at all, or the parents do, then give in and/or do whatever it takes to make the screaming stop.

I would redirect away when he needs it, and ignore the screaming (I know, VERY hard to do). I would tell the child "You are mad. It's ok to be mad. It is NOT ok to scream. You may do ____ when you stop screaming."

CRY SPOT.

and patience.
This! In my experience the only way to curb a tantrum is to completely ignore for as long as it takes. If he is used to screaming for 20minutes before someone gives in he will do that for a very long time before it gets better. I personally would put him away from the group and ignore for as long as it takes for him to calm himself down. He really needs to learn this important life skill.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I'm going to say he's most likely not redirected at all, or the parents do, then give in and/or do whatever it takes to make the screaming stop.

I would redirect away when he needs it, and ignore the screaming (I know, VERY hard to do). I would tell the child "You are mad. It's ok to be mad. It is NOT ok to scream. You may do ____ when you stop screaming."

CRY SPOT.

and patience.
we say that all the time. the issue is that the screaming is so loud there is no escaping it. I live in an area where houses are stacked back to back. I can pass the salt through the window to my neighbors. so I am worried they are going to complain.

this has been going on for over 2 months. and I am very consistent. my staff is also very consistent. nothing will stop the screaming and like I said, its goes on and on and on.

I do agree that obviously the parents are giving in to it or they wouldn't be doing it.

I am shaking right now to the point I am about to cry. I am calling for pick up. At this point maybe I just keep putting it back on the parents.

thanks for your input and sharing your ideas. i really needed it.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:43 PM
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Ok I can see why this is more stressful than the original post. If others can hear it that makes it worse! How long is this really going on? Have you timed him? I am just wondering if it is going on for a shorter amount of time than you think or if this is going on for an hour.

I once had a child who cried and scremed for the whole 45 minutes we were outside, 2x a day. She lasted less than two weeks.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:45 PM
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Sounds like a child I would let go.

I can't endure an entire day of ONE child screaming like that. Not only puts me on edge but causes the others to be out of sorts as well.

If this has been going on for over 2 months now I'd have typed up the term letter already.

Yikes.... Sorry you are dealing with this
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:53 PM
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What has worked for me is a pack and play. When screaming starts, pick up the child and put them in immediately. While doing this say "It looks like you need to scream. I'll put you here to do that. I'll know you're ready for me to come get you when you stop screaming". When it stops, get him out of there ASAP so he knows that stopping means getting out.

My pediatrician suggested this to me and it was flat our magic for one of my foster kids who literally screamed 8-9 hours a day.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
we say that all the time. the issue is that the screaming is so loud there is no escaping it. I live in an area where houses are stacked back to back. I can pass the salt through the window to my neighbors. so I am worried they are going to complain.

this has been going on for over 2 months. and I am very consistent. my staff is also very consistent. nothing will stop the screaming and like I said, its goes on and on and on.

I do agree that obviously the parents are giving in to it or they wouldn't be doing it.

I am shaking right now to the point I am about to cry. I am calling for pick up. At this point maybe I just keep putting it back on the parents.

thanks for your input and sharing your ideas. i really needed it.
Are you friendly with your neighbors? Could you explain to them what's going on and let them know that they might hear it for a while, but either you will help the child learn to NOT scream or will be terming by XX date?

If you want to keep the child, I'd write a corrective action plan stating what you're doing and that the parents agree to do the same. I suggest this to cover your butt in case CPS shows up!
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Old 09-21-2017, 04:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
Are you friendly with your neighbors? Could you explain to them what's going on and let them know that they might hear it for a while, but either you will help the child learn to NOT scream or will be terming by XX date?

If you want to keep the child, I'd write a corrective action plan stating what you're doing and that the parents agree to do the same. I suggest this to cover your butt in case CPS shows up!
thanks ladies. I am going to take your suggestion and have a parent conference with a corrective plan. Today was the final straw.
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:42 PM
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I have a 14mth girl that came to me from a bad daycare situation which had led her to have horrible screaming tantrums at the drop of a hat for no valid reason. I simply picked her up, placed her in a pack n play and told her when she can sit down and be calm I'll get her out and we can go play. I stay where she can see me but I do not let her see me watching because that just eggs her on. So I discreetly watch as I play with other children. The first week she would be in there multiple times a day and would scream for up to 45 minutes before giving up. Once she even fell asleep while I was waiting for her to calm down. Now she rarely has tantrums or screaming moments and if she does, it takes less than 2 minutes in the pack n play for her to calm down and sit down so I can take her out. It definitely worked for us.
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