Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Carpet Bombing My Book
nannyde 04:17 PM 10-16-2014
Country Kids asked
"Nannyde,
Very serious question here-are the people who reviewed your book and posted online real people?
Two or three of them (out of like 5) were childcare providers and said some pretty not nice things about it.
Are there reviews anywhere else on it. I imagine you spent quiet a bit getting writing it, editing, having it proofread and then having it published. If it was excepted the first time as it seems hard to get a book published. If it has just bad reviews and not rated high won't that hurt your sales?
If we read it is there a way for us to post a review on it? "
You ladies know I'm new to the author business so the reviews Country is referring to have been a pretty serious aspect of the learning curve in this new venture.
I didn't even know this was possible so when it happened to me, I was completely caught off guard.
My paperback came out on October 3rd which was a Friday. On Friday I had made an announcement on three Facebook groups I am an admin for. One is Child Care, one is Daycare Debate, and one is Daycare Providers Rock.
The Child Care and Daycare Debate boards are fairly new and once we hit around five hundred users on the Child Care one it changed how high we were in the Facebook search so our requests to join started coming in pretty heavily. I didn't think anything of it when on October 3rd I got many many requests to join. I also got many on the Daycare Debate too but it wasn't out of the ordinary considering how high we were in the recommended search.
My sister calls me (she is my editor) and said we have one star reviews on the Barnes and Noble, Amazon Ebook, and our BRAND NEW THAT DAY paperback on Amazon. We thought something was fishy because the paperbook just came out so anyone who bought it couldn't have possibly have received it.
We also are given a daily report that shows if the book has ever been lent out. At that point there were no lends on the Ebook.
All of the reviews that we had received up until that day were five star reviews. Of the five star reviews two of them were from unverified purchases. Of the two that were unverified, one was from a member here who helped me through the first drafts of the book. I had sent her all of the chapters and she read them and gave feedback. She had "heard" all the chapters because I read them out loud to her one by one. She could review it as an unverified because she got it before it came out. The other unverified review was from an attorney I am working with as an expert witness.
ALL of the other five star reviews were from verified purchases. All of the one star reviews are from unverified purchases. They literally could NOT have read the book so I knew they hadn't.
The other thing that happened with the negative reviews was that each review had been "liked" or found "helpful" by eight to eleven people. This matters because the most helpful reviews appear at the TOP of the reviews. So we had 16 five star reviews buried under their negative reviews.
So anyway... the day after the bad reviews from nowhere, I start seeing posts on the Facebook forums. For a little history... the debates they were posting were the Developmentally Appropriate Practice discussions we have had here MANY times. I, personally, have had this particular debate at least three hundred times in my sixteen years on daycare boards.
When I enter into this debate I start with a foundational claim that I am a babysitter and I don't offer a developmentally appropriate program. That's the bottom starting point I use in these debates. Because I'm skilled in this particular debate, I can accurately tell what will come next through the discussion. It started on Saturday and all though the day the debate grew to the tune of 560 responses.
The typical reaction to my input always comes down to: I feel so sorry for your kids. Their parents must be desperate. You have no business taking care of kids. And the end game is.... You are a child abuser.
I'm SO used to this progression that it doesn't phase me. I wouldn't expect it to go anywhere else. I didn't think that much of it until one of the posters who was in the debate used a phrase that was identical to a phrase that was in the reviews. It wasn't until THEN that it ding donged on me that this poster was one of the one star reviewers.
So I asked her point blank if she wrote a review on my book and she said she had. I asked her HOW she could review a book she could not have possibly read. She said she read the free preview and the free was half the book. I pointed out that the free was actually only one and a half chapters of the twenty three chapters in the book and the only FULL chapter she could have read was the one on the "Magnificent" parent. She insisted she didn't have to read the book to know how horrible it was.
During this 560 post thread there were legions of the new members contributing to the conversation. They were slinging "child abuse" around like a rag doll. I didn't let it phase me... I just plotted away discussing what they were perceiving as child abuse was what I considered to be good practice.
So one by one they went after EVERYTHING I have online. They said my youtube videos were PROOF of my abusing children. They said that ALL of them were abusive. The backward footed pajamas was a straight jacket. The belly time video was abuse because babies should NEVER be put on their bellies before they can roll. My one handed car play video was abuse because I'm limiting a child's natural body movements. My "play rules" video was proof of abuse because I should allow all the children to go anywhere in the room and not FORCE the babies to stay in the area with the safe toys they can't choke on.
So while all of this is going on... which was about fifteen hours of debate, I kept getting private messages from members of my groups and members that told me they were in a group with these posters. Come to find out, they are a secret Facebook group of 800 members. I can't say the name of their group because I don't want anything like what happened to me happen to them. They found out about the book from a member who was in both of our groups, infiltrated my groups, and started screen shotting my posts, posting them on their group and using them as proof of my abusing children.
The administrators of the group made a call to action to their members to go in and carpet bomb ALL of my content. They hit my youtube videos, all three sales venue of my book, and my blogs. Michael posted a link to one of them (not the administrators) who commented on my "MyChild" blog.
The book has only been out on Ebook for about five weeks and the paperback was new that day. They went in behind each other and promoted the reviews so they remain at the top.
The last hit they have done is my blog. Interestingly, me and Michael's Daycare Whisperer blog got hit by someone trying to hack into it at the same time the "comment" came on my MyChild blog. Can't tell if it is from them or a coincidence. We had to deal with that.
The latest contact with them is they are threatening to follow me around and bomb EVERY thing I do. I have had two calls to my state claiming I am abusing children. This at a time when I don't have kids in my house so it's a little hard to pin the abuse on a particular kid.
I had to notify my new DHS that the threat to turn me in was made with my videos on YouTube being the "proof" that I have abused children. I also had the videos reviewed by a child protective expert to provide an expert opinion on the claim of abuse. (they are all still up... so you can see how that went 
As in real life, when someone is angry at a child care provider they know the ultimate retaliation is to "turn you in". When you take a stand and don't back down the end game can often lead to someone trying to harm you and your business by making a claim of child abuse or child neglect.
So long story short... this group, who I had NEVER heard of before came out of nowhere and launched a full scale attack on me. They didn't say much about the actual parent book. It was just about my care of kids. The comment that the person put on my blog " I will make it a mission to expose your practices to all in your area and in this country…since I am not standing alone, brace yourself. was the same threat they made to me in the debate. This threat was to turn me into my state and to follow behind and bomb all of my content. They have made good on both threats.
When they bomb your content and "turn you in" it is for ONE reason, and that is to harm you financially. Their one star reviews did slow the sale of the book for a week which sucked especially for my sister who is part owner in my content... she worked hard on this and it affects her livelihood. We sold a TON of books before this happened and didn't sell one for a week after it happened. It's just now picking up again... so hopefully it will continue.
I did end up getting a bunch of consults out of the deal. Once they featured me in their group, some of their members contacted me and set up consults. That really helped BUT the reviews are there forever now.
Amazon and Barnes and Nobel not only allow unverified purchases to review but encourage it. I think that's unfair especially when they are calling me the devil and a child abuser but I went into business with them and I have to play by their rules. I hope as the book continues to sell that the ladies who purchase it will write reviews that will improve the overall.
I had never heard of carpet bombing and it NEVER crossed my mind that someone would write a review on a book they read five percent of. I didn't know there were groups of people out there who enjoy tampering with another persons livelihood... The only thing I was familiar with was the debate and turning me into the state... neither of which affects my money.
I'm now prepared for it to happen with any book I write. I can't do anything about it so I just have to take the hits as they come. I'm not going to write the kind of books they would approve of... those books are a dime a dozen and they don't sell. They taunted me about being a horrible mother... and that's never easy to take. They also offered to "train" me about how to take care of kids if I was "REALLY" interested in learning how BUT it would mean that I would need to STOP taking care of kids for a very long time as they couldn't be a part of anyone who was abusing children as I am now.
We have an attorney now to represent us. We have their entire members list plus copies of everything. There are now new laws coming up in states to address this type of behavior... when people incite groups to intentionally cause financial harm to a person or business.. you can hold the leaders accountable.
Dr Phil JUST did a show on this the other day. So we are keeping track of their claims and we know the real names of everyone who has made calls and the accusations of abuse. I hate to spend my hard earned money on them but if I have to, I will.
We invited them to join us here on Daycare.com to discuss the book or any of my other content but they have so far declined. I hope they reconsider because it's a great debate and can be done without all of the venom. I've been nothing but polite to them through the entire thing and haven't even disclosed their group or individual names. I'm all for playing fair but it doesn't seem they are interested in fair play. They just want to hurt me financially... that's all there is to it. The kindness and compassionate care they claim they have with children is a little difficult to imagine up alongside of the hateful attack they have launched on my livelihood.
So Country... that's the LONG LONG answer to your question.
"Nannyde,
Very serious question here-are the people who reviewed your book and posted online real people?
Two or three of them (out of like 5) were childcare providers and said some pretty not nice things about it.
Are there reviews anywhere else on it. I imagine you spent quiet a bit getting writing it, editing, having it proofread and then having it published. If it was excepted the first time as it seems hard to get a book published. If it has just bad reviews and not rated high won't that hurt your sales?
If we read it is there a way for us to post a review on it? "
You ladies know I'm new to the author business so the reviews Country is referring to have been a pretty serious aspect of the learning curve in this new venture.
I didn't even know this was possible so when it happened to me, I was completely caught off guard.My paperback came out on October 3rd which was a Friday. On Friday I had made an announcement on three Facebook groups I am an admin for. One is Child Care, one is Daycare Debate, and one is Daycare Providers Rock.
The Child Care and Daycare Debate boards are fairly new and once we hit around five hundred users on the Child Care one it changed how high we were in the Facebook search so our requests to join started coming in pretty heavily. I didn't think anything of it when on October 3rd I got many many requests to join. I also got many on the Daycare Debate too but it wasn't out of the ordinary considering how high we were in the recommended search.
My sister calls me (she is my editor) and said we have one star reviews on the Barnes and Noble, Amazon Ebook, and our BRAND NEW THAT DAY paperback on Amazon. We thought something was fishy because the paperbook just came out so anyone who bought it couldn't have possibly have received it.
We also are given a daily report that shows if the book has ever been lent out. At that point there were no lends on the Ebook.
All of the reviews that we had received up until that day were five star reviews. Of the five star reviews two of them were from unverified purchases. Of the two that were unverified, one was from a member here who helped me through the first drafts of the book. I had sent her all of the chapters and she read them and gave feedback. She had "heard" all the chapters because I read them out loud to her one by one. She could review it as an unverified because she got it before it came out. The other unverified review was from an attorney I am working with as an expert witness.
ALL of the other five star reviews were from verified purchases. All of the one star reviews are from unverified purchases. They literally could NOT have read the book so I knew they hadn't.
The other thing that happened with the negative reviews was that each review had been "liked" or found "helpful" by eight to eleven people. This matters because the most helpful reviews appear at the TOP of the reviews. So we had 16 five star reviews buried under their negative reviews.
So anyway... the day after the bad reviews from nowhere, I start seeing posts on the Facebook forums. For a little history... the debates they were posting were the Developmentally Appropriate Practice discussions we have had here MANY times. I, personally, have had this particular debate at least three hundred times in my sixteen years on daycare boards.
When I enter into this debate I start with a foundational claim that I am a babysitter and I don't offer a developmentally appropriate program. That's the bottom starting point I use in these debates. Because I'm skilled in this particular debate, I can accurately tell what will come next through the discussion. It started on Saturday and all though the day the debate grew to the tune of 560 responses.
The typical reaction to my input always comes down to: I feel so sorry for your kids. Their parents must be desperate. You have no business taking care of kids. And the end game is.... You are a child abuser.
I'm SO used to this progression that it doesn't phase me. I wouldn't expect it to go anywhere else. I didn't think that much of it until one of the posters who was in the debate used a phrase that was identical to a phrase that was in the reviews. It wasn't until THEN that it ding donged on me that this poster was one of the one star reviewers.
So I asked her point blank if she wrote a review on my book and she said she had. I asked her HOW she could review a book she could not have possibly read. She said she read the free preview and the free was half the book. I pointed out that the free was actually only one and a half chapters of the twenty three chapters in the book and the only FULL chapter she could have read was the one on the "Magnificent" parent. She insisted she didn't have to read the book to know how horrible it was.
During this 560 post thread there were legions of the new members contributing to the conversation. They were slinging "child abuse" around like a rag doll. I didn't let it phase me... I just plotted away discussing what they were perceiving as child abuse was what I considered to be good practice.
So one by one they went after EVERYTHING I have online. They said my youtube videos were PROOF of my abusing children. They said that ALL of them were abusive. The backward footed pajamas was a straight jacket. The belly time video was abuse because babies should NEVER be put on their bellies before they can roll. My one handed car play video was abuse because I'm limiting a child's natural body movements. My "play rules" video was proof of abuse because I should allow all the children to go anywhere in the room and not FORCE the babies to stay in the area with the safe toys they can't choke on.
So while all of this is going on... which was about fifteen hours of debate, I kept getting private messages from members of my groups and members that told me they were in a group with these posters. Come to find out, they are a secret Facebook group of 800 members. I can't say the name of their group because I don't want anything like what happened to me happen to them. They found out about the book from a member who was in both of our groups, infiltrated my groups, and started screen shotting my posts, posting them on their group and using them as proof of my abusing children.
The administrators of the group made a call to action to their members to go in and carpet bomb ALL of my content. They hit my youtube videos, all three sales venue of my book, and my blogs. Michael posted a link to one of them (not the administrators) who commented on my "MyChild" blog.
The book has only been out on Ebook for about five weeks and the paperback was new that day. They went in behind each other and promoted the reviews so they remain at the top.
The last hit they have done is my blog. Interestingly, me and Michael's Daycare Whisperer blog got hit by someone trying to hack into it at the same time the "comment" came on my MyChild blog. Can't tell if it is from them or a coincidence. We had to deal with that.
The latest contact with them is they are threatening to follow me around and bomb EVERY thing I do. I have had two calls to my state claiming I am abusing children. This at a time when I don't have kids in my house so it's a little hard to pin the abuse on a particular kid.
I had to notify my new DHS that the threat to turn me in was made with my videos on YouTube being the "proof" that I have abused children. I also had the videos reviewed by a child protective expert to provide an expert opinion on the claim of abuse. (they are all still up... so you can see how that went As in real life, when someone is angry at a child care provider they know the ultimate retaliation is to "turn you in". When you take a stand and don't back down the end game can often lead to someone trying to harm you and your business by making a claim of child abuse or child neglect.
So long story short... this group, who I had NEVER heard of before came out of nowhere and launched a full scale attack on me. They didn't say much about the actual parent book. It was just about my care of kids. The comment that the person put on my blog " I will make it a mission to expose your practices to all in your area and in this country…since I am not standing alone, brace yourself. was the same threat they made to me in the debate. This threat was to turn me into my state and to follow behind and bomb all of my content. They have made good on both threats.
When they bomb your content and "turn you in" it is for ONE reason, and that is to harm you financially. Their one star reviews did slow the sale of the book for a week which sucked especially for my sister who is part owner in my content... she worked hard on this and it affects her livelihood. We sold a TON of books before this happened and didn't sell one for a week after it happened. It's just now picking up again... so hopefully it will continue.
I did end up getting a bunch of consults out of the deal. Once they featured me in their group, some of their members contacted me and set up consults. That really helped BUT the reviews are there forever now.
Amazon and Barnes and Nobel not only allow unverified purchases to review but encourage it. I think that's unfair especially when they are calling me the devil and a child abuser but I went into business with them and I have to play by their rules. I hope as the book continues to sell that the ladies who purchase it will write reviews that will improve the overall.
I had never heard of carpet bombing and it NEVER crossed my mind that someone would write a review on a book they read five percent of. I didn't know there were groups of people out there who enjoy tampering with another persons livelihood... The only thing I was familiar with was the debate and turning me into the state... neither of which affects my money.
I'm now prepared for it to happen with any book I write. I can't do anything about it so I just have to take the hits as they come. I'm not going to write the kind of books they would approve of... those books are a dime a dozen and they don't sell. They taunted me about being a horrible mother... and that's never easy to take. They also offered to "train" me about how to take care of kids if I was "REALLY" interested in learning how BUT it would mean that I would need to STOP taking care of kids for a very long time as they couldn't be a part of anyone who was abusing children as I am now.
We have an attorney now to represent us. We have their entire members list plus copies of everything. There are now new laws coming up in states to address this type of behavior... when people incite groups to intentionally cause financial harm to a person or business.. you can hold the leaders accountable.
Dr Phil JUST did a show on this the other day. So we are keeping track of their claims and we know the real names of everyone who has made calls and the accusations of abuse. I hate to spend my hard earned money on them but if I have to, I will. We invited them to join us here on Daycare.com to discuss the book or any of my other content but they have so far declined. I hope they reconsider because it's a great debate and can be done without all of the venom. I've been nothing but polite to them through the entire thing and haven't even disclosed their group or individual names. I'm all for playing fair but it doesn't seem they are interested in fair play. They just want to hurt me financially... that's all there is to it. The kindness and compassionate care they claim they have with children is a little difficult to imagine up alongside of the hateful attack they have launched on my livelihood.
So Country... that's the LONG LONG answer to your question.
sharlan 04:58 PM 10-16-2014
While I may not agree with all of your practices (I'm sure you don't agree with how I do things), but that's life. I totally believe that what they are doing is totally wrong and you should go after them to the full extent of the law.
Michael 05:01 PM 10-16-2014
Thanks for the explanation. Cyber bullying should not result in rewarding those that would aggressively make false accusations to the detriment of others. You getting a lawyer was a smart thing to do. Let him/her handle them.
JoseyJo 05:07 PM 10-16-2014
I went to the Amazon site and marked the unverified, obviously inflammatory, reviews as unhelpful. If enough people do that they will be hidden from view
nannyde 05:23 PM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
I went to the Amazon site and marked the unverified, obviously inflammatory, reviews as unhelpful. If enough people do that they will be hidden from view
That does really help. As soon as they get wind of this thread I'm sure ll have another round. I went to the Amazon site and marked the unverified, obviously inflammatory, reviews as unhelpful. If enough people do that they will be hidden from view
The only place they can hurt me financially is the books. That's been their main squeeze. The YouTube bombing is ridiculous because it's obvious that I wouldn't have a video up abusing a baby for six minutes. It's hard to see a happy little 13 week old bopping up and down and call it physical abuse. That doesn't get them far.
Pretending they are reviewing a book they read does look real.
Bookworm 05:53 PM 10-16-2014
It sounds like Nanny has struck a nerve with these people. I'm pretty sure that these crazies are the parents discussed in her book.
Angelsj 06:25 PM 10-16-2014
People never cease to amaze me. You and I have discussed this concept and you know I don't agree with everything you do or say, but good grief, who has the time or inclination to just go after someone like that?
Hugs to you. Sorry you have to deal with garbage like that.
Hugs to you. Sorry you have to deal with garbage like that.
hope 06:25 PM 10-16-2014
When Michael posted the link the other day I went in and marked the negative reviews as unhelpful. Hope that helps. Sorry you are going through this.
daycare 06:46 PM 10-16-2014
it is sad to hear that people who care for children could even possibly be this mean to any living thing, let alone another human. I am baffled by this post.
This is purely a very unfortunate group of people that seem to have nothing better to do than to try and hurt a soul they don't even know.
Well Nan, I home you are a believer in Karma, I am and I know it is true. Have faith in Karma, what goes around will come back around one way or another.
I wish no negativity on anyone who I know or don't know. BIG hugs to you, know that we all have your back.
Chin up,
This is purely a very unfortunate group of people that seem to have nothing better to do than to try and hurt a soul they don't even know.
Well Nan, I home you are a believer in Karma, I am and I know it is true. Have faith in Karma, what goes around will come back around one way or another.
I wish no negativity on anyone who I know or don't know. BIG hugs to you, know that we all have your back.
Chin up,
Thriftylady 07:48 PM 10-16-2014
I have been a victim of bullying in more than one form. I was bullied in school and I have been "cyberbullied". I can't afford to buy your book right now, however I do have a nook and will buy it when I can, and hope to buy a signed copy one day. I will give a review when I can buy it, I am busy paying for other trainings right now. I am not sure I will agree with everything you do, but I doubt I will disagree with it all either. I wish you the best and know from my own book that I am writing it is not easy.
AmyKidsCo 08:30 PM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Michael:
Thanks for the explanation. Cyber bullying should not result in rewarding those that would aggressively make false accusations to the detriment of others. You getting a lawyer was a smart thing to do. Let him/her handle them.
Thanks for the explanation. Cyber bullying should not result in rewarding those that would aggressively make false accusations to the detriment of others. You getting a lawyer was a smart thing to do. Let him/her handle them.
What goes around comes around - I hope you're there to see karma bite their butts!
Josiegirl 03:39 AM 10-17-2014
That is beyond ridiculous! Aren't we all on the same side? If they could read all your posts here, they'd come to find out how much you've loved all your little charges over the years. These people have nothing better to do?
I'm angry for you. I'm also very glad you answered the question. I saw the negative reviews on amazon and it did give me pause. But I've read your excerpts, your posts, watched your videos, I know you're an intelligent articulate caring woman with a great sense of humor but most importantly I know what a big heart you have when it comes to children. Those trouble-makers really should be ashamed of themselves.
Now that I've said all that
Is there any possible way to get an autographed copy of your book at this point?
I'm angry for you. I'm also very glad you answered the question. I saw the negative reviews on amazon and it did give me pause. But I've read your excerpts, your posts, watched your videos, I know you're an intelligent articulate caring woman with a great sense of humor but most importantly I know what a big heart you have when it comes to children. Those trouble-makers really should be ashamed of themselves.
Now that I've said all that
Is there any possible way to get an autographed copy of your book at this point?
DaveA 03:49 AM 10-17-2014
That's just odd, but somehow I'm not surprised. Some people are just nitwits.
Good luck with the book.
Good luck with the book.
nannyde 03:51 AM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
That is beyond ridiculous! Aren't we all on the same side? If they could read all your posts here, they'd come to find out how much you've loved all your little charges over the years. These people have nothing better to do?
I'm angry for you. I'm also very glad you answered the question. I saw the negative reviews on amazon and it did give me pause. But I've read your excerpts, your posts, watched your videos, I know you're an intelligent articulate caring woman with a great sense of humor but most importantly I know what a big heart you have when it comes to children. Those trouble-makers really should be ashamed of themselves.
Now that I've said all that Is there any possible way to get an autographed copy of your book at this point?
Absolutely! Pm me and we will figure out payment.That is beyond ridiculous! Aren't we all on the same side? If they could read all your posts here, they'd come to find out how much you've loved all your little charges over the years. These people have nothing better to do?
I'm angry for you. I'm also very glad you answered the question. I saw the negative reviews on amazon and it did give me pause. But I've read your excerpts, your posts, watched your videos, I know you're an intelligent articulate caring woman with a great sense of humor but most importantly I know what a big heart you have when it comes to children. Those trouble-makers really should be ashamed of themselves.
Now that I've said all that
Is there any possible way to get an autographed copy of your book at this point?I invited them here but they declined. They know daycare.com is my HOME so they can reach me any time here. I don't think they could come and play fair here so it's not an option.
When the 560 post thread was going on and the participants of the debate were told by them that they reviewed a book they didn't read it angered a lot of the ladies who were otherwise plugging along in the debate. It got pretty hot pretty fast and they scurried away real quick like.
Even in a large group where many people don't "know" me like you guys do... the response to trying to hurt me financially went over VERY badly. Most women who don't care for kids or run shop like I do would just discuss or debate not call me a child abuser and retaliate by bombing a book they haven't read. They went far and then WAY far.
Josiegirl 04:14 AM 10-17-2014
Nannyde, I just sent you a pm, let me know if you got it or not. I've been known for pressing the wrong button before and am not sure it went out.
and am not sure it went out.
cheerfuldom 06:07 AM 10-17-2014
okay so your amazon reviews look pretty good to me. I went and liked the positive reviews. 17 5 start and only 3 one star. Where some of the one star taken off?
And what you were saying about you not doing daycare right now? Is your daycare closed? Did I miss something?
I wasnt seeing alot of negative posts on your YouTube videos either.....where you able to delete those?
Perhaps things are getting better at this point?
But unfortunately, I have also been on one very popular parenting site which received A LOT of flack from an offshoot of women. This second group follows the first group, reposts stuff to make fun of it and will actively go after people. For example, my sister start a discussion about what working women do with their dogs during the day such as kenneling, etc. It was a simple discussion that turned ugly fast! She called me crying when these people started harassing her, telling her if she was willing to kennel a dog she was probably the kind of mom to abuse her own child.......she is a mom, a great mom, but she is a sensitive person and this exploding post was craziness. The main group got ugly, the second group got worse. People were finding and posting her private information to incite others to call animal control on her! It was bad. She was an admin on the first group and I think that was why they went after her.
I have no idea why people get so ugly.
I can understand posting a review that said "I read the book, I dont agree" but these people that are going crazy finding your stuff and accusing you of abuse, that is just bullying and I dont understand why a person would be a part of this.
And what you were saying about you not doing daycare right now? Is your daycare closed? Did I miss something?
I wasnt seeing alot of negative posts on your YouTube videos either.....where you able to delete those?
Perhaps things are getting better at this point?
But unfortunately, I have also been on one very popular parenting site which received A LOT of flack from an offshoot of women. This second group follows the first group, reposts stuff to make fun of it and will actively go after people. For example, my sister start a discussion about what working women do with their dogs during the day such as kenneling, etc. It was a simple discussion that turned ugly fast! She called me crying when these people started harassing her, telling her if she was willing to kennel a dog she was probably the kind of mom to abuse her own child.......she is a mom, a great mom, but she is a sensitive person and this exploding post was craziness. The main group got ugly, the second group got worse. People were finding and posting her private information to incite others to call animal control on her! It was bad. She was an admin on the first group and I think that was why they went after her.
I have no idea why people get so ugly.
I can understand posting a review that said "I read the book, I dont agree" but these people that are going crazy finding your stuff and accusing you of abuse, that is just bullying and I dont understand why a person would be a part of this.
Thriftylady 06:41 AM 10-17-2014
Cheerfuldom, I think she is mainly consulting right now and not running a daycare home.
daycarediva 10:20 AM 10-17-2014
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I gladly would have put my own children in your care.
I left a 5 star review (bought it and read it!) and listed the other reviews as helpful and the unverified 1 star reviews as unhelpful.
I left a 5 star review (bought it and read it!) and listed the other reviews as helpful and the unverified 1 star reviews as unhelpful.
nannyde 10:49 AM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
okay so your amazon reviews look pretty good to me. I went and liked the positive reviews. 17 5 start and only 3 one star. Where some of the one star taken off?
And what you were saying about you not doing daycare right now? Is your daycare closed? Did I miss something?
I wasnt seeing alot of negative posts on your YouTube videos either.....where you able to delete those?
Perhaps things are getting better at this point?
But unfortunately, I have also been on one very popular parenting site which received A LOT of flack from an offshoot of women. This second group follows the first group, reposts stuff to make fun of it and will actively go after people. For example, my sister start a discussion about what working women do with their dogs during the day such as kenneling, etc. It was a simple discussion that turned ugly fast! She called me crying when these people started harassing her, telling her if she was willing to kennel a dog she was probably the kind of mom to abuse her own child.......she is a mom, a great mom, but she is a sensitive person and this exploding post was craziness. The main group got ugly, the second group got worse. People were finding and posting her private information to incite others to call animal control on her! It was bad. She was an admin on the first group and I think that was why they went after her.
I have no idea why people get so ugly.
I can understand posting a review that said "I read the book, I dont agree" but these people that are going crazy finding your stuff and accusing you of abuse, that is just bullying and I dont understand why a person would be a part of this.
Cheerokay so your amazon reviews look pretty good to me. I went and liked the positive reviews. 17 5 start and only 3 one star. Where some of the one star taken off?
And what you were saying about you not doing daycare right now? Is your daycare closed? Did I miss something?
I wasnt seeing alot of negative posts on your YouTube videos either.....where you able to delete those?
Perhaps things are getting better at this point?
But unfortunately, I have also been on one very popular parenting site which received A LOT of flack from an offshoot of women. This second group follows the first group, reposts stuff to make fun of it and will actively go after people. For example, my sister start a discussion about what working women do with their dogs during the day such as kenneling, etc. It was a simple discussion that turned ugly fast! She called me crying when these people started harassing her, telling her if she was willing to kennel a dog she was probably the kind of mom to abuse her own child.......she is a mom, a great mom, but she is a sensitive person and this exploding post was craziness. The main group got ugly, the second group got worse. People were finding and posting her private information to incite others to call animal control on her! It was bad. She was an admin on the first group and I think that was why they went after her.
I have no idea why people get so ugly.
I can understand posting a review that said "I read the book, I dont agree" but these people that are going crazy finding your stuff and accusing you of abuse, that is just bullying and I dont understand why a person would be a part of this.
The day they did this there were O reviews on barnes and noble and 0 on the paperback because it came out that day. They did a total of five with two of them being removed due to cursing. At the time we had 14 five star reviews on the ebook... of which 12 were verified users, one from a member here unverified, and one from an attorney I work with. It took my rating down to three plus stars until the two were removed.
The youtube comments were removable. We could have removed the blog one but I left it there so an example of the venom and accusations remained. I needed that for any complaints made to licensing. I have already turned it in to child protective.
The book had only been out for four weeks when they did this. It seems like longer but it's only been for sale for six weeks.
If it weren't for them I would have a perfect five star review from people who purchased and read the book. NOT cool to hit someone's money like that. I made up the sales in consults with their members but that money will come and go... the reviews are there for the life of my book.
nannyde 10:53 AM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Cheerfuldom, I think she is mainly consulting right now and not running a daycare home.
I am consulting and writing the third book. I'm halfway thru it. The second one is written. Cheerfuldom, I think she is mainly consulting right now and not running a daycare home.
I had one of my families from Des Monies relocate to bring their children to me and another family is putting their house on the market so they can relocate too. I will be caring for their children.
Country Kids 12:15 PM 10-17-2014
Wow-
Ask a question you get an answer! Thank you so much Nan for taking the time to answer my question.
Are you worried about publishing the next two books?
Ask a question you get an answer! Thank you so much Nan for taking the time to answer my question.
Are you worried about publishing the next two books?
nannyde 12:34 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Wow-
Ask a question you get an answer! Thank you so much Nan for taking the time to answer my question.
Are you worried about publishing the next two books?
Well I know they intend to hunt me down so I am prepared BUT I have an attorney now and their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and enough members in their group to get screen shots of any public posts. We will deal with them legally immediately this time. Wow-
Ask a question you get an answer! Thank you so much Nan for taking the time to answer my question.
Are you worried about publishing the next two books?
I also have had my videos reviewed by a child abuse expert (court certified state expert) so I have the proper documentation I need to begin the legal proceedings in their States. One is in Maryland and one in New Mexico. The one in New Mexico has made the most specific threat. We have been working with the Department of Human Services in that State regarding her claim she is affiliated with them. (She is not.) We will pursue her association not her personally as she is representing them in her accusations of abuse. Better to go after the association financially speaking.
They got one attack free. The next one is on them.
Kabob 01:06 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Well I know they intend to hunt me down so I am prepared BUT I have an attorney now and their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and enough members in their group to get screen shots of any public posts. We will deal with them legally immediately this time.
I also have had my videos reviewed by a child abuse expert (court certified state expert) so I have the proper documentation I need to begin the legal proceedings in their States. One is in Maryland and one in New Mexico. The one in New Mexico has made the most specific threat. We have been working with the Department of Human Services in that State regarding her claim she is affiliated with them. (She is not.) We will pursue her association not her personally as she is representing them in her accusations of abuse. Better to go after the association financially speaking.
They got one attack free. The next one is on them.
Glad to hear you have a plan although I am sorry that you are going through this.Well I know they intend to hunt me down so I am prepared BUT I have an attorney now and their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and enough members in their group to get screen shots of any public posts. We will deal with them legally immediately this time.
I also have had my videos reviewed by a child abuse expert (court certified state expert) so I have the proper documentation I need to begin the legal proceedings in their States. One is in Maryland and one in New Mexico. The one in New Mexico has made the most specific threat. We have been working with the Department of Human Services in that State regarding her claim she is affiliated with them. (She is not.) We will pursue her association not her personally as she is representing them in her accusations of abuse. Better to go after the association financially speaking.
They got one attack free. The next one is on them.
I shouldn't be surprised that you have this situation seemingly under control. I mean, if you can handle a group of toddlers, then a couple of adults throwing a fit should be a cakewalk.
Heidi 03:15 PM 10-17-2014
Completely OT....but NAN SINGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
Cradle2crayons 03:22 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Completely OT....but NAN SINGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
Omgosh she is an awesome singer and there are tons of videos of her singing!!!!!!!!!!Completely OT....but NAN SINGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
Josiegirl 04:22 PM 10-17-2014
Heidi's a stalker
You have a wonderful voice!
You have a wonderful voice!
nannyde 04:55 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
Omgosh she is an awesome singer and there are tons of videos of her singing!!!!!!!!!!
He he heOmgosh she is an awesome singer and there are tons of videos of her singing!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite one is my sister Angel (who is the editor on my books) and I singing Rudolph to my then three year old niece Jordan (she's 23 now
and plays the daycare provider on the cover of the book) and the "Reindeer Wisdom" at 2.23 minutes mark. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAeShsR6UMw
I was 34 when we recorded it but a WISE 34
We massacred Rudolph but the ending cracked us up when we watched it nearly twenty years later.
Heidi 05:35 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Heidi's a stalker
You have a wonderful voice!
Heidi's a stalker
You have a wonderful voice!
Honestly, the above discussion made me revisit the daycare whisperer videos, trying to figure out what I missed? What could one possibly complain about? I'll admit, when I first came here, I didn't always understand Nan's delivery...until I watched her videos. That completely changed my understanding.
So, I searched for "Tori Fees" to find them, and low-and-behold; she sings!
Cradle2crayons 05:43 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Honestly, the above discussion made me revisit the daycare whisperer videos, trying to figure out what I missed? What could one possibly complain about? I'll admit, when I first came here, I didn't always understand Nan's delivery...until I watched her videos. That completely changed my understanding.
So, I searched for "Tori Fees" to find them, and low-and-behold; she sings!
nice save Heidi ! Honestly, the above discussion made me revisit the daycare whisperer videos, trying to figure out what I missed? What could one possibly complain about? I'll admit, when I first came here, I didn't always understand Nan's delivery...until I watched her videos. That completely changed my understanding.
So, I searched for "Tori Fees" to find them, and low-and-behold; she sings!
nannyde 06:16 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Honestly, the above discussion made me revisit the daycare whisperer videos, trying to figure out what I missed? What could one possibly complain about? I'll admit, when I first came here, I didn't always understand Nan's delivery...until I watched her videos. That completely changed my understanding.
So, I searched for "Tori Fees" to find them, and low-and-behold; she sings!
At least you didn't show up at my house in Podunk! Had that happen a couple of weeks ago.Honestly, the above discussion made me revisit the daycare whisperer videos, trying to figure out what I missed? What could one possibly complain about? I'll admit, when I first came here, I didn't always understand Nan's delivery...until I watched her videos. That completely changed my understanding.
So, I searched for "Tori Fees" to find them, and low-and-behold; she sings!
CraftyMom 07:25 PM 10-17-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Completely OT....but NAN SINGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
Ok, I totally went off on a tangent watching videos Completely OT....but NAN SINGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9d05csJTww
And quite nicely, I might add!
Josiegirl 04:16 AM 10-18-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
At least you didn't show up at my house in Podunk! Had that happen a couple of weeks ago.
Oh no! Please do share? You do have a vicious snarling very humungous sized dog don't you, just in case these 'frustrated housewives' come knocking at your door in mob style?At least you didn't show up at my house in Podunk! Had that happen a couple of weeks ago.
Josiegirl 04:18 AM 10-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
Ok, I totally went off on a tangent watching videos
Haha I did that one night and ended up watching an hour of Ben Carson. Now don't ask me how I got from child care related videos to the political arena. That's why I don't watch utube that often. Ok, I totally went off on a tangent watching videos
It becomes more of a time-$ucker than pinterest does.
nannyde 07:17 AM 10-18-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Oh no! Please do share? You do have a vicious snarling very humungous sized dog don't you, just in case these 'frustrated housewives' come knocking at your door in mob style?
I was sitting outside supervising my puppies out front. My older pup got attacked by my neighbor across the streets new dog so I'm a nervous wreck when they are outside. Oh no! Please do share? You do have a vicious snarling very humungous sized dog don't you, just in case these 'frustrated housewives' come knocking at your door in mob style?
A car pulls up with a lady in it driving. She rolls down the passenger window and says "Hey are you Tori?"
I said "yes" thinking it was someone from my new town.
She said "I'm so and so and I do daycare in Albert Lea. I was coming through Northwood and wanted to see where you live."
Albert Lea is about twenty minutes north of Northwood.
I just said "oh it's nice to meet you"
How did you find my address? She said she looked it up on the Worth County Assessor site.
She said thanks and took off.
When I bought this house I had it inspected before I closed. I hired an inspector from another town who would do a Saturday inspection. My friend drove me up here and we met him out front. The FIRST thing he said to me was "Are you the Daycare Whisperer?"
I said... yes I own the trademark.
He said his daughter does daycare in St Ansgar and he told her he was coming to Northwood to inspect a house for a daycare provider from Des Moines named Tori.
She asked if it was "Tori Fees" and when he said yes she told him she has been following me for years on this board and others.
Small world... a little too small some times.
MOM OF 4 03:12 PM 10-18-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Country Kids asked
"Nannyde,
Very serious question here-are the people who reviewed your book and posted online real people?
Two or three of them (out of like 5) were childcare providers and said some pretty not nice things about it.
Are there reviews anywhere else on it. I imagine you spent quiet a bit getting writing it, editing, having it proofread and then having it published. If it was excepted the first time as it seems hard to get a book published. If it has just bad reviews and not rated high won't that hurt your sales?
If we read it is there a way for us to post a review on it? "
You ladies know I'm new to the author business so the reviews Country is referring to have been a pretty serious aspect of the learning curve in this new venture. I didn't even know this was possible so when it happened to me, I was completely caught off guard.
My paperback came out on October 3rd which was a Friday. On Friday I had made an announcement on three Facebook groups I am an admin for. One is Child Care, one is Daycare Debate, and one is Daycare Providers Rock.
The Child Care and Daycare Debate boards are fairly new and once we hit around five hundred users on the Child Care one it changed how high we were in the Facebook search so our requests to join started coming in pretty heavily. I didn't think anything of it when on October 3rd I got many many requests to join. I also got many on the Daycare Debate too but it wasn't out of the ordinary considering how high we were in the recommended search.
My sister calls me (she is my editor) and said we have one star reviews on the Barnes and Noble, Amazon Ebook, and our BRAND NEW THAT DAY paperback on Amazon. We thought something was fishy because the paperbook just came out so anyone who bought it couldn't have possibly have received it.
We also are given a daily report that shows if the book has ever been lent out. At that point there were no lends on the Ebook.
All of the reviews that we had received up until that day were five star reviews. Of the five star reviews two of them were from unverified purchases. Of the two that were unverified, one was from a member here who helped me through the first drafts of the book. I had sent her all of the chapters and she read them and gave feedback. She had "heard" all the chapters because I read them out loud to her one by one. She could review it as an unverified because she got it before it came out. The other unverified review was from an attorney I am working with as an expert witness.
ALL of the other five star reviews were from verified purchases. All of the one star reviews are from unverified purchases. They literally could NOT have read the book so I knew they hadn't.
The other thing that happened with the negative reviews was that each review had been "liked" or found "helpful" by eight to eleven people. This matters because the most helpful reviews appear at the TOP of the reviews. So we had 16 five star reviews buried under their negative reviews.
So anyway... the day after the bad reviews from nowhere, I start seeing posts on the Facebook forums. For a little history... the debates they were posting were the Developmentally Appropriate Practice discussions we have had here MANY times. I, personally, have had this particular debate at least three hundred times in my sixteen years on daycare boards.
When I enter into this debate I start with a foundational claim that I am a babysitter and I don't offer a developmentally appropriate program. That's the bottom starting point I use in these debates. Because I'm skilled in this particular debate, I can accurately tell what will come next through the discussion. It started on Saturday and all though the day the debate grew to the tune of 560 responses.
The typical reaction to my input always comes down to: I feel so sorry for your kids. Their parents must be desperate. You have no business taking care of kids. And the end game is.... You are a child abuser.
I'm SO used to this progression that it doesn't phase me. I wouldn't expect it to go anywhere else. I didn't think that much of it until one of the posters who was in the debate used a phrase that was identical to a phrase that was in the reviews. It wasn't until THEN that it ding donged on me that this poster was one of the one star reviewers.
So I asked her point blank if she wrote a review on my book and she said she had. I asked her HOW she could review a book she could not have possibly read. She said she read the free preview and the free was half the book. I pointed out that the free was actually only one and a half chapters of the twenty three chapters in the book and the only FULL chapter she could have read was the one on the "Magnificent" parent. She insisted she didn't have to read the book to know how horrible it was.
During this 560 post thread there were legions of the new members contributing to the conversation. They were slinging "child abuse" around like a rag doll. I didn't let it phase me... I just plotted away discussing what they were perceiving as child abuse was what I considered to be good practice.
So one by one they went after EVERYTHING I have online. They said my youtube videos were PROOF of my abusing children. They said that ALL of them were abusive. The backward footed pajamas was a straight jacket. The belly time video was abuse because babies should NEVER be put on their bellies before they can roll. My one handed car play video was abuse because I'm limiting a child's natural body movements. My "play rules" video was proof of abuse because I should allow all the children to go anywhere in the room and not FORCE the babies to stay in the area with the safe toys they can't choke on.
So while all of this is going on... which was about fifteen hours of debate, I kept getting private messages from members of my groups and members that told me they were in a group with these posters. Come to find out, they are a secret Facebook group of 800 members. I can't say the name of their group because I don't want anything like what happened to me happen to them. They found out about the book from a member who was in both of our groups, infiltrated my groups, and started screen shotting my posts, posting them on their group and using them as proof of my abusing children.
The administrators of the group made a call to action to their members to go in and carpet bomb ALL of my content. They hit my youtube videos, all three sales venue of my book, and my blogs. Michael posted a link to one of them (not the administrators) who commented on my "MyChild" blog.
The book has only been out on Ebook for about five weeks and the paperback was new that day. They went in behind each other and promoted the reviews so they remain at the top.
The last hit they have done is my blog. Interestingly, me and Michael's Daycare Whisperer blog got hit by someone trying to hack into it at the same time the "comment" came on my MyChild blog. Can't tell if it is from them or a coincidence. We had to deal with that.
The latest contact with them is they are threatening to follow me around and bomb EVERY thing I do. I have had two calls to my state claiming I am abusing children. This at a time when I don't have kids in my house so it's a little hard to pin the abuse on a particular kid. I had to notify my new DHS that the threat to turn me in was made with my videos on YouTube being the "proof" that I have abused children. I also had the videos reviewed by a child protective expert to provide an expert opinion on the claim of abuse. (they are all still up... so you can see how that went
As in real life, when someone is angry at a child care provider they know the ultimate retaliation is to "turn you in". When you take a stand and don't back down the end game can often lead to someone trying to harm you and your business by making a claim of child abuse or child neglect.
So long story short... this group, who I had NEVER heard of before came out of nowhere and launched a full scale attack on me. They didn't say much about the actual parent book. It was just about my care of kids. The comment that the person put on my blog " I will make it a mission to expose your practices to all in your area and in this country…since I am not standing alone, brace yourself. was the same threat they made to me in the debate. This threat was to turn me into my state and to follow behind and bomb all of my content. They have made good on both threats.
When they bomb your content and "turn you in" it is for ONE reason, and that is to harm you financially. Their one star reviews did slow the sale of the book for a week which sucked especially for my sister who is part owner in my content... she worked hard on this and it affects her livelihood. We sold a TON of books before this happened and didn't sell one for a week after it happened. It's just now picking up again... so hopefully it will continue.
I did end up getting a bunch of consults out of the deal. Once they featured me in their group, some of their members contacted me and set up consults. That really helped BUT the reviews are there forever now.
Amazon and Barnes and Nobel not only allow unverified purchases to review but encourage it. I think that's unfair especially when they are calling me the devil and a child abuser but I went into business with them and I have to play by their rules. I hope as the book continues to sell that the ladies who purchase it will write reviews that will improve the overall.
I had never heard of carpet bombing and it NEVER crossed my mind that someone would write a review on a book they read five percent of. I didn't know there were groups of people out there who enjoy tampering with another persons livelihood... The only thing I was familiar with was the debate and turning me into the state... neither of which affects my money.
I'm now prepared for it to happen with any book I write. I can't do anything about it so I just have to take the hits as they come. I'm not going to write the kind of books they would approve of... those books are a dime a dozen and they don't sell. They taunted me about being a horrible mother... and that's never easy to take. They also offered to "train" me about how to take care of kids if I was "REALLY" interested in learning how BUT it would mean that I would need to STOP taking care of kids for a very long time as they couldn't be a part of anyone who was abusing children as I am now.
We have an attorney now to represent us. We have their entire members list plus copies of everything. There are now new laws coming up in states to address this type of behavior... when people incite groups to intentionally cause financial harm to a person or business.. you can hold the leaders accountable. Dr Phil JUST did a show on this the other day. So we are keeping track of their claims and we know the real names of everyone who has made calls and the accusations of abuse. I hate to spend my hard earned money on them but if I have to, I will.
We invited them to join us here on Daycare.com to discuss the book or any of my other content but they have so far declined. I hope they reconsider because it's a great debate and can be done without all of the venom. I've been nothing but polite to them through the entire thing and haven't even disclosed their group or individual names. I'm all for playing fair but it doesn't seem they are interested in fair play. They just want to hurt me financially... that's all there is to it. The kindness and compassionate care they claim they have with children is a little difficult to imagine up alongside of the hateful attack they have launched on my livelihood.
So Country... that's the LONG LONG answer to your question.
Isn't it true that people become famous only after bad rumors are spread by jealous nothings? This lady did nothing more than spread rumors and hate. I don't think that will take away from people who are truly interested in your book, and in fact, may draw more attention to your site, having "curious" people read it and LOVE it! Maybe the crazy negative woman doesn't realize that she will only hurt herself in the end. ((((HUGS)))))Country Kids asked
"Nannyde,
Very serious question here-are the people who reviewed your book and posted online real people?
Two or three of them (out of like 5) were childcare providers and said some pretty not nice things about it.
Are there reviews anywhere else on it. I imagine you spent quiet a bit getting writing it, editing, having it proofread and then having it published. If it was excepted the first time as it seems hard to get a book published. If it has just bad reviews and not rated high won't that hurt your sales?
If we read it is there a way for us to post a review on it? "
You ladies know I'm new to the author business so the reviews Country is referring to have been a pretty serious aspect of the learning curve in this new venture.
I didn't even know this was possible so when it happened to me, I was completely caught off guard.My paperback came out on October 3rd which was a Friday. On Friday I had made an announcement on three Facebook groups I am an admin for. One is Child Care, one is Daycare Debate, and one is Daycare Providers Rock.
The Child Care and Daycare Debate boards are fairly new and once we hit around five hundred users on the Child Care one it changed how high we were in the Facebook search so our requests to join started coming in pretty heavily. I didn't think anything of it when on October 3rd I got many many requests to join. I also got many on the Daycare Debate too but it wasn't out of the ordinary considering how high we were in the recommended search.
My sister calls me (she is my editor) and said we have one star reviews on the Barnes and Noble, Amazon Ebook, and our BRAND NEW THAT DAY paperback on Amazon. We thought something was fishy because the paperbook just came out so anyone who bought it couldn't have possibly have received it.
We also are given a daily report that shows if the book has ever been lent out. At that point there were no lends on the Ebook.
All of the reviews that we had received up until that day were five star reviews. Of the five star reviews two of them were from unverified purchases. Of the two that were unverified, one was from a member here who helped me through the first drafts of the book. I had sent her all of the chapters and she read them and gave feedback. She had "heard" all the chapters because I read them out loud to her one by one. She could review it as an unverified because she got it before it came out. The other unverified review was from an attorney I am working with as an expert witness.
ALL of the other five star reviews were from verified purchases. All of the one star reviews are from unverified purchases. They literally could NOT have read the book so I knew they hadn't.
The other thing that happened with the negative reviews was that each review had been "liked" or found "helpful" by eight to eleven people. This matters because the most helpful reviews appear at the TOP of the reviews. So we had 16 five star reviews buried under their negative reviews.
So anyway... the day after the bad reviews from nowhere, I start seeing posts on the Facebook forums. For a little history... the debates they were posting were the Developmentally Appropriate Practice discussions we have had here MANY times. I, personally, have had this particular debate at least three hundred times in my sixteen years on daycare boards.
When I enter into this debate I start with a foundational claim that I am a babysitter and I don't offer a developmentally appropriate program. That's the bottom starting point I use in these debates. Because I'm skilled in this particular debate, I can accurately tell what will come next through the discussion. It started on Saturday and all though the day the debate grew to the tune of 560 responses.
The typical reaction to my input always comes down to: I feel so sorry for your kids. Their parents must be desperate. You have no business taking care of kids. And the end game is.... You are a child abuser.
I'm SO used to this progression that it doesn't phase me. I wouldn't expect it to go anywhere else. I didn't think that much of it until one of the posters who was in the debate used a phrase that was identical to a phrase that was in the reviews. It wasn't until THEN that it ding donged on me that this poster was one of the one star reviewers.
So I asked her point blank if she wrote a review on my book and she said she had. I asked her HOW she could review a book she could not have possibly read. She said she read the free preview and the free was half the book. I pointed out that the free was actually only one and a half chapters of the twenty three chapters in the book and the only FULL chapter she could have read was the one on the "Magnificent" parent. She insisted she didn't have to read the book to know how horrible it was.
During this 560 post thread there were legions of the new members contributing to the conversation. They were slinging "child abuse" around like a rag doll. I didn't let it phase me... I just plotted away discussing what they were perceiving as child abuse was what I considered to be good practice.
So one by one they went after EVERYTHING I have online. They said my youtube videos were PROOF of my abusing children. They said that ALL of them were abusive. The backward footed pajamas was a straight jacket. The belly time video was abuse because babies should NEVER be put on their bellies before they can roll. My one handed car play video was abuse because I'm limiting a child's natural body movements. My "play rules" video was proof of abuse because I should allow all the children to go anywhere in the room and not FORCE the babies to stay in the area with the safe toys they can't choke on.
So while all of this is going on... which was about fifteen hours of debate, I kept getting private messages from members of my groups and members that told me they were in a group with these posters. Come to find out, they are a secret Facebook group of 800 members. I can't say the name of their group because I don't want anything like what happened to me happen to them. They found out about the book from a member who was in both of our groups, infiltrated my groups, and started screen shotting my posts, posting them on their group and using them as proof of my abusing children.
The administrators of the group made a call to action to their members to go in and carpet bomb ALL of my content. They hit my youtube videos, all three sales venue of my book, and my blogs. Michael posted a link to one of them (not the administrators) who commented on my "MyChild" blog.
The book has only been out on Ebook for about five weeks and the paperback was new that day. They went in behind each other and promoted the reviews so they remain at the top.
The last hit they have done is my blog. Interestingly, me and Michael's Daycare Whisperer blog got hit by someone trying to hack into it at the same time the "comment" came on my MyChild blog. Can't tell if it is from them or a coincidence. We had to deal with that.
The latest contact with them is they are threatening to follow me around and bomb EVERY thing I do. I have had two calls to my state claiming I am abusing children. This at a time when I don't have kids in my house so it's a little hard to pin the abuse on a particular kid.
I had to notify my new DHS that the threat to turn me in was made with my videos on YouTube being the "proof" that I have abused children. I also had the videos reviewed by a child protective expert to provide an expert opinion on the claim of abuse. (they are all still up... so you can see how that went As in real life, when someone is angry at a child care provider they know the ultimate retaliation is to "turn you in". When you take a stand and don't back down the end game can often lead to someone trying to harm you and your business by making a claim of child abuse or child neglect.
So long story short... this group, who I had NEVER heard of before came out of nowhere and launched a full scale attack on me. They didn't say much about the actual parent book. It was just about my care of kids. The comment that the person put on my blog " I will make it a mission to expose your practices to all in your area and in this country…since I am not standing alone, brace yourself. was the same threat they made to me in the debate. This threat was to turn me into my state and to follow behind and bomb all of my content. They have made good on both threats.
When they bomb your content and "turn you in" it is for ONE reason, and that is to harm you financially. Their one star reviews did slow the sale of the book for a week which sucked especially for my sister who is part owner in my content... she worked hard on this and it affects her livelihood. We sold a TON of books before this happened and didn't sell one for a week after it happened. It's just now picking up again... so hopefully it will continue.
I did end up getting a bunch of consults out of the deal. Once they featured me in their group, some of their members contacted me and set up consults. That really helped BUT the reviews are there forever now.
Amazon and Barnes and Nobel not only allow unverified purchases to review but encourage it. I think that's unfair especially when they are calling me the devil and a child abuser but I went into business with them and I have to play by their rules. I hope as the book continues to sell that the ladies who purchase it will write reviews that will improve the overall.
I had never heard of carpet bombing and it NEVER crossed my mind that someone would write a review on a book they read five percent of. I didn't know there were groups of people out there who enjoy tampering with another persons livelihood... The only thing I was familiar with was the debate and turning me into the state... neither of which affects my money.
I'm now prepared for it to happen with any book I write. I can't do anything about it so I just have to take the hits as they come. I'm not going to write the kind of books they would approve of... those books are a dime a dozen and they don't sell. They taunted me about being a horrible mother... and that's never easy to take. They also offered to "train" me about how to take care of kids if I was "REALLY" interested in learning how BUT it would mean that I would need to STOP taking care of kids for a very long time as they couldn't be a part of anyone who was abusing children as I am now.
We have an attorney now to represent us. We have their entire members list plus copies of everything. There are now new laws coming up in states to address this type of behavior... when people incite groups to intentionally cause financial harm to a person or business.. you can hold the leaders accountable.
Dr Phil JUST did a show on this the other day. So we are keeping track of their claims and we know the real names of everyone who has made calls and the accusations of abuse. I hate to spend my hard earned money on them but if I have to, I will. We invited them to join us here on Daycare.com to discuss the book or any of my other content but they have so far declined. I hope they reconsider because it's a great debate and can be done without all of the venom. I've been nothing but polite to them through the entire thing and haven't even disclosed their group or individual names. I'm all for playing fair but it doesn't seem they are interested in fair play. They just want to hurt me financially... that's all there is to it. The kindness and compassionate care they claim they have with children is a little difficult to imagine up alongside of the hateful attack they have launched on my livelihood.
So Country... that's the LONG LONG answer to your question.
ADDING: I was once a victim of someone(s) trying to ruin my business by doing fake bad reviews. Some people I had never even met, never lived here, claimed they dropped off kids they didnt' drop off. Funny thing, is that for 3 months, during the bad review writing I didn't have ANY children because I had my home rebuilt due to mold. Additionally, I STILL got bad reviews after I even CLOSED SHOP altogether! One person posted I failed to change her kids' diapers (yet even her post said that she brought her kid for over a year). Well, I didn't take unpottytrained infants after 2009. The review was written in 2011. She also left the child's name, and that child never existed in my care. My sign in/out sheets proved that this was all made up by these vicious girls. Most sites took down the negative stuff after I sent proof
lol