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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>At What Age Should Children Start Wiping Their Own Bottoms?
mike929 04:10 PM 09-22-2016
Hello,

First time parent here. I have a question my son is 2yrs old and he turns 3 in December. At his daycare he is in the 3yr old class.

Today we find out from the teacher she does not wipe bottoms. The kids are supposed to be self sufficient. Meaning they can go to the potty on their own, wash hands and apparently wipe their own behinds. The teacher really doesn't do anything at all ( barely keep the facility clean ) as we have noted on more than one occasion remains on the toilet seat and other bad practices.

So, is this the normal thing for a 2yr old or should the teacher wipe his behind?

Thanks
Mike
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grandmom 04:29 PM 09-22-2016
Once a child can use the toilet they are taught to wipe, not use too much t-paper then they're on their own. I don't wipe. Never had. They learn quickly.
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Poptarts22 04:40 PM 09-22-2016
Yep-that's my policy.
If the cleanliness of the facility and work ethic of the teacher truly concerns you, I would look for a new daycare, as both are reflections of what type of care your child might be receiving
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Poptarts22 04:44 PM 09-22-2016
I actually was discussing this with a parent today who has a three year old in a well respected preschool program in our community and this is also their policy.
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nanglgrl 04:45 PM 09-22-2016
Exactly. They learn quickly and can't learn how to do it better if someone is doing it for them. If your child's not wiping well you should work on that at home and let his time at daycare be his practice. At that age children need to know that those body parts should not be touched by other people and they can start to feel uncomfortable having someone wipe them because they realize going potty should be an independent activity.
Look at it no different than giving your child a spoon, fork or a cup without a lid around 1 1/2. They don't use them well and make lots of messes at first but within a few months they do great. If you wait to give them the fork, spoon and cup without a lid until they're 5 they will make lots of messes at first and within a few months they will do great. Same with wiping, 0utting on clothes, shoes, washing hands, brushing teeth etc. practice makes perfect.
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daycare 05:03 PM 09-22-2016
there is no set age. I belive that it all depends on what they have been exposed to and how much someone has let them practice. I have two year olds that don't need my help, but 5 year olds who do.

If anyone is unskilled in something, we can't expect them to do it on their own. Does not matter how old we are.

I belive that learning is a process and everyone has to start some where. its not at a certain age, it's when you start them.
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mike929 05:40 PM 09-22-2016
Thank you for all of the replies.

We are working with him at home. I just didn't believe 2yr olds were that proficient at wiping on their own ( my ignorance ). I would think a bare minimum they would need monitoring and assistance if needed.
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Mike 05:45 PM 09-22-2016
Depends on the child. Once they are potty trained, most learn how to wipe their own butts pretty quickly, but some do take longer. Been a while since I babysat little ones, but I remember one who had trouble getting the hang of it. I always taught by letting them do it themselves, then would help a bit if needed, but otherwise let the child know they did good, but not quite good enough and have them finish it. Most were good enough to leave on their own in a short time.
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Mike 05:47 PM 09-22-2016
Originally Posted by mike929:
Thank you for all of the replies.

We are working with him at home. I just didn't believe 2yr olds were that proficient at wiping on their own ( my ignorance ). I would think a bare minimum they would need monitoring and assistance if needed.
Until they get the hang of it, yes. A 2 yo would take a bit longer to get the hang of it than a 2.5 yo. Kids potty train at different ages and speeds.
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MissAnn 05:49 PM 09-22-2016
Originally Posted by mike929:
Thank you for all of the replies.

We are working with him at home. I just didn't believe 2yr olds were that proficient at wiping on their own ( my ignorance ). I would think a bare minimum they would need monitoring and assistance if needed.
I have the kids do it......if they don't have it down yet, I check and say, "clean as a whistle."
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Febby 05:55 PM 09-22-2016
I expect all my children to be able to at least make a good effort. Except for especially messy poops and some special needs children, I don't typically need to assist the children in my class. There are a couple always require extra supervision in the bathroom, though.

My class is 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 years old.

I agree that if the cleanliness of the bathrooms is concerning, you should speak to the director or consider looking at other programs.
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mike929 06:09 PM 09-22-2016
Lot's a great info, thank you very much. This is just the start of "our" learning process
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Blackcat31 06:54 PM 09-22-2016
Originally Posted by mike929:
Lot's a great info, thank you very much. This is just the start of "our" learning process
I don't help kids wipe after they are in underwear either BUT I have no issues helping a kid get there. If your son is still learning/trying and does need a bit assistance or even a quick check after he wipes just ask your provider. Its temporary until he learns to do it 100% on his own and not that big of a deal.
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mike929 07:57 PM 09-22-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't help kids wipe after they are in underwear either BUT I have no issues helping a kid get there. If your son is still learning/trying and does need a bit assistance or even a quick check after he wipes just ask your provider. Its temporary until he learns to do it 100% on his own and not that big of a deal.
Thanks, I now understand. Hopefully we will get him thru this quick, fast and in a hurry. We've already spoke to the teacher and the director. We'll see how it goes.
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daycarediva 02:03 AM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
there is no set age. I belive that it all depends on what they have been exposed to and how much someone has let them practice. I have two year olds that don't need my help, but 5 year olds who do.

If anyone is unskilled in something, we can't expect them to do it on their own. Does not matter how old we are.

I belive that learning is a process and everyone has to start some where. its not at a certain age, it's when you start them.
Agreed!

I have them try, and then do a check wipe until they're proficient. Usually happens fast, but that depends on the kid...(and the BM)
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Play Care 03:09 AM 09-23-2016
When they are older 2, young 3 and just finishing being potty trained, I will assist. However there comes a point where my assistance is just looking to see if THEY need to wipe more. Like a pp mentioned, I do find that kids start to become embarrassed if I have to wipe them after a certain point in the potty training process.

On a side note, Last year I had a child who was going through a not wiping well phase. One night at pick up as he came over to me and his parents (we had been outside) it was clear he had a BM and had not wiped well (since we were outside I hadn't caught it to send him back to the bathroom) and dad said to me "I've told him to ask for help if he needs wiping" To which I replied "Dad' he's *FIVE* and off to K in one week, They won't wipe him at school, he has to learn how to do it"
That seemed to sink in, because there have been no issues since. But honestly at that age/stage? He didn't want me in the bathroom with him and certainly not wiping him. That's not to say I wouldn't have had he truly needed assistance. But in this case it was being in a rush to get back to playing.
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jenboo 06:09 AM 09-23-2016
I start teaching them when they are potty training. They will always wipe first and I will check after and assist when needed (tell them they need to wipe more). Once they have a clean bottom after a few times, I stop checking.
Usually when you are learning some thing it takes a while to perfect it. I don't expect children to get it perfect the first time and I won't let them walk around with a itchy stinky but.
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Mike 07:38 AM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Agreed!

I have them try, and then do a check wipe until they're proficient. Usually happens fast, but that depends on the kid...(and the BM)
Yup

Had to help a 7 yo once. We were at a church camp and he got diarrhea. I brought his mom and here 5 kids and half way through, he tells mom he has to poop and can't hold it. I find out he had a bit of diarrhea the previous day. His mom asks me to take him to the bathroom which was a good distance from where we were camping. His bigger brother came with us. We get half way there and he stops and says he can't walk anymore. I figure we have to get him there, so pick him up to carry him the rest of the way. About 10 feet away, (where's the barf smilie)

I put him down fast, then carried him by the arms the rest of the way. We spend half an hour in the bathroom cleaning him, his clothes, and the bathroom floor, while his brother goes back to tell his mom what happened. Had to put his pants and underwear in the sink, clean him up, entire bottom half of body, then he waited in the stall while I cleaned his clothes so he can put something back on. Used a pile of toilet paper, paper towels, and soap, went back to mommy, and I took them back home.
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Controlled Chaos 08:35 AM 09-23-2016
If you are my SIL "When they are emotionally and spiritually ready"

Me - I teach them as we start sitting on the potty around 18m. Girls easily wipe after going pee by 2-2.5 and for BMs - all kids wipe themselves between 2.5-3. Though I did have one kid with weird short arms - I helped him until 3.5, kid could not reach AT ALL
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Play Care 09:25 AM 09-23-2016
I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )


Originally Posted by Mike:
Yup

Had to help a 7 yo once. We were at a church camp and he got diarrhea. I brought his mom and here 5 kids and half way through, he tells mom he has to poop and can't hold it. I find out he had a bit of diarrhea the previous day. His mom asks me to take him to the bathroom which was a good distance from where we were camping. His bigger brother came with us. We get half way there and he stops and says he can't walk anymore. I figure we have to get him there, so pick him up to carry him the rest of the way. About 10 feet away, (where's the barf smilie)

I put him down fast, then carried him by the arms the rest of the way. We spend half an hour in the bathroom cleaning him, his clothes, and the bathroom floor, while his brother goes back to tell his mom what happened. Had to put his pants and underwear in the sink, clean him up, entire bottom half of body, then he waited in the stall while I cleaned his clothes so he can put something back on. Used a pile of toilet paper, paper towels, and soap, went back to mommy, and I took them back home.

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nanglgrl 09:31 AM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )
Good call! I would also help a child with diarrhea (but I'd also be calling the parents to pick up). I will check a child's bottom when they're new to potty training (or if they haven't been allowed to wipe themselves and are new to it) and I will tell them if they need to wipe more and demonstrate how but I don't physically wipe them once they're wearing underwear. I'm all about teaching self help skills here.
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Mom2Two 01:56 PM 09-23-2016
I still help four year olds if they're not doing a good job, but I've noticed that I'm not as in a hurry about potty training as other providers.

Having said that, I still have to help my six year old, but that's because she has some strength and coordination issues.

But it's also because I'm picky about clean bottoms. Two seems so young to expect much as far as clean bottom wiping.
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mommyneedsadayoff 03:27 PM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I still help four year olds if they're not doing a good job, but I've noticed that I'm not as in a hurry about potty training as other providers.

Having said that, I still have to help my six year old, but that's because she has some strength and coordination issues.

But it's also because I'm picky about clean bottoms. Two seems so young to expect much as far as clean bottom wiping.
I agree. I am in no rush to potty training and most of my kids don't even start till 3 or later. The earliest was 2.5, but I helped him wipe for awhile. Since him, almost 10 years ago now, I haven't had a kid who is ACTUALLY potty trained before the age of 3, so by the time they start using the toilet, they are old enough and coordinated enough to do the wiping themselves. (I help when needed)
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knoxmomof2 04:03 PM 09-23-2016
For me, it's part of potty training, but I watch their coordination and check behind them at first. Also, their persistence. Some kids will give it 1 wipe and be done. Others will go until the TP is clean. So, it's all based on the child's ability and I step in as needed but it's always in a teaching and supplemental way instead of in a way that negates their need to try. Obviously big messes warrant full involvement from the provider. Yeesh!
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Mike 06:34 PM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )
Thanks
There may be wrong impressions from that. If he were at home, it would have been very different. He would take a shower and his mom would do the laundry, but he was at a public park, and in a restroom that only had 2 toilet stalls and one sink, and he had no change of clothes, so it was a bit awkward for him. It also makes a difference that I babysat those kids when he was still in diapers, so it's not like I've never cleaned him up before, but it had been a few years.
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Mike 06:35 PM 09-23-2016
Originally Posted by knoxmomof2:
For me, it's part of potty training, but I watch their coordination and check behind them at first. Also, their persistence. Some kids will give it 1 wipe and be done. Others will go until the TP is clean. So, it's all based on the child's ability and I step in as needed but it's always in a teaching and supplemental way instead of in a way that negates their need to try. Obviously big messes warrant full involvement from the provider. Yeesh!
Yup

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