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Old 09-09-2012, 01:38 PM
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Default Won't Stay In Nap Area

So I think this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We shall see...

I received a text message Friday after his mom picked him up after lunch. (I've requested from her not to text me at least 3 separate times and to call instead because she alone has put me over my texting rates a few months (116 texts just from her in June)... she still even sends me random text messages to ask how his day is going or let me know she's on her way to pick him up. (Don't waste your time texting me! Just come!) I've stopped responding since I've asked her not to multiple times. I am going to be posting a sign that I'm charging extra for those who text.

Her 21 month old (who is the same one I have been considering terming because of him chewing my home up) had as of Friday begun climbing out of his crib. He has not done this here yet. She's sent me 2 more messages this weekend that he's climbed out of the pack and play about 20 times and his "big boy bed" about the same number of times. I think this kid is going to drive me to the brink of insanity if he begins doing this here because I already cannot trust him with his chewing, destroying and eating everything that is not food related. His nap area is in a pack and play in my office upstairs. He is a light sleeper so I keep him sleeping alone with a fan running in there, otherwise the other kids cut his naps short. I now cannot trust that he won't even climb over my gates.

Not good... not good at all... I realize his parents can help it but don't know what to do other than to term if this is how this is going to go.

I did buy the superyard and i've been using it sparingly so far. Only when I'm not in the room and I do use it for some of the babies on occasion but I can't keep him upstairs now because not only will he climb out of the pack and play but he might climb over the gate at the stairs or my gates going out of the playroom...

I was considering putting him in the superyard for naptime since it's in the playroom where I stay during their naps and I can watch him but then I'm frustrated because when the other kids get up I will have to bring them down and they will wake him up. That or when parents pick up early it will disrupt his nap. SO FRUSTRATED. I've been trying so hard to make this work out but I feel like I'm going to go crazy with this kid.
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:43 PM
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this doesn't sound good at all. i would be worried that he would trash the whole room before he climbed out. I had a girl that was very naughty (her way or the highway) and she was about his age too (mom was crazy, dad divorced her and took the child with him and they now live his parents) she climbed out very quietly and dumped a whole bottle of hand lotion all over the room, then climbed back into the pack and play. The only reason I kept her was because mom was crazy and I was the only normal person in her life, I felt bad. Poor kid hated going home.
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Old 09-10-2012, 07:23 AM
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I am so dreading this week... I want to cry and he's not even here yet.

I used to have a couple of horrific daycare kids like this at my mom's daycare when she ran one in our home while I was growing up. She used to let them nap in our bedrooms and they would take my make up and smear it in the carpet or she'd find them in the bathroom flushing things down the toilet and cost her a lot of money in plumbing fees, ect. One little girl she ended up having to put in a child's zipper tent. I'm starting to think that is my only option but this child is starting to cost me too much money trying to maintain...

I get some of this is out of their control but I think we are going to have to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting here real soon.

We have a basement I can keep him in but again our furnace is down there. We have a baby gate blocking the room it's in but again he can climb over it. There are also toys down there so this is again getting to a point where I'm having to restructure my entire home around this one child and probably at their expectation....
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Old 09-10-2012, 09:48 AM
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Really, he sounds out of control. There are three types of kids I dont keep: screamers, aggressive kids, kids that destroy things. So for me, he would be out the door. He is costing you too much in work, resources, and sanity. If there is any way to replace him, I would do that. If not, find him a large sleep sack so he cant lift his leg to climb up and over. Something like this should do the trick. Put it on him backwards if necessary.

http://www.amazon.com/Halo-Disney-Ki.../dp/B0057ZIMHQ
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Old 09-10-2012, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
Really, he sounds out of control. There are three types of kids I dont keep: screamers, aggressive kids, kids that destroy things. So for me, he would be out the door. He is costing you too much in work, resources, and sanity.
I agree to this!!

You also said "I am so dreading this week... I want to cry and he's not even here yet" which is one other kind of kid I will NOT take.

Your instincts are telling you something.
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Old 09-10-2012, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
Really, he sounds out of control. There are three types of kids I dont keep: screamers, aggressive kids, kids that destroy things. So for me, he would be out the door. He is costing you too much in work, resources, and sanity. If there is any way to replace him, I would do that. If not, find him a large sleep sack so he cant lift his leg to climb up and over. Something like this should do the trick. Put it on him backwards if necessary.

http://www.amazon.com/Halo-Disney-Ki.../dp/B0057ZIMHQ
I am just kind of at the point where I'm asking myself..."Where does it end" financially this kid is costing me too much money to contain him or keep him and everyone else safe as it is. I just need to get someone to replace him... The calls are not coming in.

I have a rental property as well which we had to use all the money we saved up for this tenant over the last year and install a new AC, Furnace which went bad and decided to replace water heater too because we got a deal of the century on all of it and would have been a headache to put a new one in after the new ac & furnace were already in. And then of course my tenant just gave me notice since his lease was up, so I have to return his deposit on top of it and pay a mortgage until I get a new tenant in which sometimes can take months at this time of year... Hopefully I can get one in during this short window of opportunity before the snow falls because it will be impossible during the winter. Unfortunately, I can't afford to lose this kid right now as it is.
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Old 09-10-2012, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by brookeroo View Post
I am just kind of at the point where I'm asking myself..."Where does it end" financially this kid is costing me too much money to contain him or keep him and everyone else safe as it is. I just need to get someone to replace him... The calls are not coming in.

I have a rental property as well which we had to use all the money we saved up for this tenant over the last year and install a new AC, Furnace which went bad and decided to replace water heater too because we got a deal of the century on all of it and would have been a headache to put a new one in after the new ac & furnace were already in. And then of course my tenant just gave me notice since his lease was up, so I have to return his deposit on top of it and pay a mortgage until I get a new tenant in which sometimes can take months at this time of year... Hopefully I can get one in during this short window of opportunity before the snow falls because it will be impossible during the winter. Unfortunately, I can't afford to lose this kid right now as it is.
I'm sorry. I understand what that is like. I would try the jammies and actually, if you have paypal, I could send you one of mine if you want to try it out...cheaper than buying a brand new item and could solve several of the issues since he could wear it all day over his clothes if he has to. message me and we can work something out if you want to try that option.
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Old 09-10-2012, 01:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brookeroo View Post
I am just kind of at the point where I'm asking myself..."Where does it end" financially this kid is costing me too much money to contain him or keep him and everyone else safe as it is. I just need to get someone to replace him... The calls are not coming in.

I have a rental property as well which we had to use all the money we saved up for this tenant over the last year and install a new AC, Furnace which went bad and decided to replace water heater too because we got a deal of the century on all of it and would have been a headache to put a new one in after the new ac & furnace were already in. And then of course my tenant just gave me notice since his lease was up, so I have to return his deposit on top of it and pay a mortgage until I get a new tenant in which sometimes can take months at this time of year... Hopefully I can get one in during this short window of opportunity before the snow falls because it will be impossible during the winter. Unfortunately, I can't afford to lose this kid right now as it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
I'm sorry. I understand what that is like. I would try the jammies and actually, if you have paypal, I could send you one of mine if you want to try it out...cheaper than buying a brand new item and could solve several of the issues since he could wear it all day over his clothes if he has to. message me and we can work something out if you want to try that option.
Even though Cheer is being awfully helpfull by offering to lend you one of hers ...why not ask the parents to purchase it since it is their child who is being so distructive and all?

I mean, if they really want to continue working with you and have their child stay i your care, then they really need to have some sort of responsibility in this whole situaiton. I can't see them wanting to pay for rep;acement furniture and other items their child has eaten or gnawed on so I am thinking the Halo sleeper would be a cheap alternative for them/
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Even though Cheer is being awfully helpfull by offering to lend you one of hers ...why not ask the parents to purchase it since it is their child who is being so distructive and all?

I mean, if they really want to continue working with you and have their child stay i your care, then they really need to have some sort of responsibility in this whole situaiton. I can't see them wanting to pay for rep;acement furniture and other items their child has eaten or gnawed on so I am thinking the Halo sleeper would be a cheap alternative for them/
Maybe I will do that...and just basically write all of these down as bullet points as to all the problems that I am having with not just him but them as well and say that I'm kind of at a crossroads with them where something has to give here and I'm leaning towards parting here if they cannot get on board all the way around.

Astonishingly he has not climbed out of his pack and play. Strange since he pushes every other boundary here. But I'll take it! I hope it stays that way. Maybe he's working up the nerve to try it. He knows he's not allowed upstairs except during naps. Maybe that helps.

She texted me yet again while she was at lunch to ask how his nap was going. I have not responded to her. I refuse. I've been over it so many times with her. I would think not responding she would eventually give up but nope apparently not.
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:31 PM
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I am just kind of at the point where I'm asking myself..."Where does it end" financially this kid is costing me too much money to contain him or keep him and everyone else safe as it is. I just need to get someone to replace him... The calls are not coming in.

We have to invest some money into our daycares- but once you buy something you are usually good to go for a while. Try 2nd hand shops.

I would gate off a space for this kid. If he climbed out, keep putting him back in his p and p. I have one of these kids too and it is exhausting.

Maybe I missed something but I wouldn't replace a child just because he crawled out. I would just move things around to fit his needs and teach him. Take him out of the p and p and put him on a cot. Teach him to stay on it.

It is hair pulling but part of the job.
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:36 PM
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I am just kind of at the point where I'm asking myself..."Where does it end" financially this kid is costing me too much money to contain him or keep him and everyone else safe as it is. I just need to get someone to replace him... The calls are not coming in.

We have to invest some money into our daycares- but once you buy something you are usually good to go for a while. Try 2nd hand shops.

I would gate off a space for this kid. If he climbed out, keep putting him back in his p and p. I have one of these kids too and it is exhausting.

Maybe I missed something but I wouldn't replace a child just because he crawled out. I would just move things around to fit his needs and teach him. Take him out of the p and p and put him on a cot. Teach him to stay on it.

It is hair pulling but part of the job.
yeah you missed her other posts...there are other issues with this kid.
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by brookeroo View Post
So I think this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We shall see...

I received a text message Friday after his mom picked him up after lunch. (I've requested from her not to text me at least 3 separate times and to call instead because she alone has put me over my texting rates a few months (116 texts just from her in June)... she still even sends me random text messages to ask how his day is going or let me know she's on her way to pick him up. (Don't waste your time texting me! Just come!) I've stopped responding since I've asked her not to multiple times. I am going to be posting a sign that I'm charging extra for those who text.

Her 21 month old (who is the same one I have been considering terming because of him chewing my home up) had as of Friday begun climbing out of his crib. He has not done this here yet. She's sent me 2 more messages this weekend that he's climbed out of the pack and play about 20 times and his "big boy bed" about the same number of times. I think this kid is going to drive me to the brink of insanity if he begins doing this here because I already cannot trust him with his chewing, destroying and eating everything that is not food related. His nap area is in a pack and play in my office upstairs. He is a light sleeper so I keep him sleeping alone with a fan running in there, otherwise the other kids cut his naps short. I now cannot trust that he won't even climb over my gates.

Not good... not good at all... I realize his parents can help it but don't know what to do other than to term if this is how this is going to go.

I did buy the superyard and i've been using it sparingly so far. Only when I'm not in the room and I do use it for some of the babies on occasion but I can't keep him upstairs now because not only will he climb out of the pack and play but he might climb over the gate at the stairs or my gates going out of the playroom...

I was considering putting him in the superyard for naptime since it's in the playroom where I stay during their naps and I can watch him but then I'm frustrated because when the other kids get up I will have to bring them down and they will wake him up. That or when parents pick up early it will disrupt his nap. SO FRUSTRATED. I've been trying so hard to make this work out but I feel like I'm going to go crazy with this kid.
I have the kids stay on their cots till everyone wakes up. I sometimes give them books, but I teach them to be quiet because it is quiet time. My kids nap all in one room, I have open concept floor plan. It is hard but they all get it after a bit. If he is 21 months and climbing out, put him on a cot or matt with the other kids. He will learn from them and it will take time to adjust.
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:45 PM
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I have the kids stay on their cots till everyone wakes up. I sometimes give them books, but I teach them to be quiet because it is quiet time. My kids nap all in one room, I have open concept floor plan. It is hard but they all get it after a bit. If he is 21 months and climbing out, put him on a cot or matt with the other kids. He will learn from them and it will take time to adjust.
How do you teach them to be quiet? I need help doing that with a dcg now...
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Old 09-12-2012, 12:31 PM
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How do you teach them to be quiet? I need help doing that with a dcg now...
They learn from each other and I do a lot of repeating and Sssshhh it is quiet time. I welcome ideas on this too!

I have to say environment control helps. Dark as you can (not always possible for me) same old boring music, white noise, same routine.

I will sit next to a child that won't stop wiggling or has a hard time and do a lot of please be quiet it is rest time. They get tired of hearing me say it as much as I get tired of saying this. Consistency, routine. If a child wakes up before the rest I will hold or remove into another area away from the others (hard to do because I am open concept) but I give books or just let them relax until the others start to wake up. Older kids can do quiet activities at the table.

I use the word no- am not afraid of this word and feel that you are helping a child to get ready for school when they have to sit and be quiet and listen. Unless a child doesn't feel good everyone is up by 3 and we go down after lunch, diapers and cleaning up.

From watching everyone else they learn that this is what we do, and they know and look forward to it because it is part of the daily routine.

We line up to go outside and put hands on shoulders of the person in front of us, if I take and mix that line up of who is supposed to be first and so on, these two year and one year old know this and let me know. Kids thrive on routine and rules and consistency. I am firm but loving.

All goes out the window for a sick child or an off day and we do what we have to do to get through.

Best-
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:37 PM
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All my children sleep in our large day home room on cots. I darken the room and put on rain forest music. When a child is laying still and quiet even for five seconds, I bring them a stamp and couple it with verbal reinforcement. They continue that behavior to get more stamps. When the misbehaved child sees them getting stamps, I go to them and let them know to quiet and lay still. Sometimes I sit with them and rub their hand. Once they are laying quiet they get a stamp too. They also hear me providing praise to the children laying well, so they mimic the behavior to get the praise too.

After they start getting the hint, I just increase the time in between the positive reinforcement and eventually phase out the stamps.

It has worked with ever child I have ever had, even the troublesome ones. Now they will not get off of their mats until the lights come back on, no matter what is going on.

I would shadow this child for the rest of the behaviors mentioned and watch for him doing thing that you want him to be doing. Catch him doing well, and provide him lots of attention. He will quickly catch on to what brings him positive attention and will mimic that. It is lots of work with a child that is very misbehaved, but well worth it. We all have the ability to change the course of their lives.
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