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Old 09-29-2010, 10:17 AM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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Default Typical Boys?

What causes some boys to just be rough? Like constantly hitting with their hands or with toys? I am talking little boys like 1 to 3 years old. I have two boys of my own and they never went thru that, thank God. Any ideas? I have one 1 year old that has to sit in a high chair or pack and play if I am making lunch so he doesn't bash someone in the face with a toy! Ugh. For some reason, I have mostly boys, and they are ROUGH!
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:28 AM
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Maybe the home environment is lacking outdoor/ gross motor areas, and they are used to blasting off indoors?
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Old 09-29-2010, 11:52 AM
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I think it is because you mostly have boys. We have a 3 yr old group mixed with a few boys and the majority are girls. Most of the week, the boys are pretty well behaved BUT 2 days a week our group is joined by 2 other 3 yr old boys and the dynamic changes immediately. The 2 weekly boys join the 2 that come twice a week and we get this pack mentality w/each boy wanting to be top dog. One hits another and in a blink of an eye, ALL the boys are rolling on the floor. We HATE Tues & Thurs!

And I'm not saying this to discriminate by saying only boys fight - girls can get that gang mentality going also - but they tend to do it with words or by exclusion.
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Old 09-30-2010, 08:10 AM
DBug DBug is offline
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I've found with all ages of boys (12 mos up to 13 years) that a lot of times they're looking for cuddles or some kind of physical contact when they start to hit, wrestle, head butt, shove, etc., etc. One of my dc boys is very physical, so I taught him to say "I need a hug" instead of hitting. Of course, he still has moments, but it's made a big difference!

It used to drive me nuts when I was growing up and my teen-aged brothers would put my mom in a head-lock. She was very patient with it, and I never figured out why until I had my own boys . They just wanted some kind of physical contact. I believe they've done studies on the fact that young girls get far more physical contact from parents & caregivers than boys do, even though the boys need it just as much.

Sometimes boys are just being rough, but other times there's more to it.
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Old 09-30-2010, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBug View Post
I've found with all ages of boys (12 mos up to 13 years) that a lot of times they're looking for cuddles or some kind of physical contact when they start to hit, wrestle, head butt, shove, etc., etc. One of my dc boys is very physical, so I taught him to say "I need a hug" instead of hitting. Of course, he still has moments, but it's made a big difference!

It used to drive me nuts when I was growing up and my teen-aged brothers would put my mom in a head-lock. She was very patient with it, and I never figured out why until I had my own boys . They just wanted some kind of physical contact. I believe they've done studies on the fact that young girls get far more physical contact from parents & caregivers than boys do, even though the boys need it just as much.

Sometimes boys are just being rough, but other times there's more to it.
You know, this is really interesting. I have twin boys right now with two completely different personalities. One of them is really sweet and easygoing, the other is much more aggressive, with hitting, biting and hair pulling. The sweet one gets the majority of the attention at home, and so I'm now wondering if the aggressiveness of the other one is more of an attempt to get attention. I'm going to try giving him plenty of love and attention and see if that helps. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 09-30-2010, 08:01 PM
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my son used to be a nightmare. he wouldn't hit people with toys, but he would try to wrestle with them because my husband always wrestled with him at home. i've seen it happen a lot working with kids. if a boy wanted to play, but didn't know how to walk up and ask if he could play - he might walk up and knock over a block structure or try to tackle someone. i asked one boy's mom when she came to pick him up if his dad wrestled with him a lot at home and she said, "yeees. why?" i could tell because he would hit someone in the arm or something and he had no remorse whatsoever if they started crying. he thought it was fun, but he wasn't doing it out of anger. he thought that was how you played!

she talked to her husband about it and of course i talked to mine. now that my son's a little older, he knows he can't play like that with other kids just because he does it at home, but they had to stop playing rough when he was younger. he tried being rough with me and his sister too, but now he knows that's what he does with his dad and no one else.
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Old 10-01-2010, 07:51 AM
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Lilbutterflie Lilbutterflie is offline
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The age of 1-3 can be so frustrating for ALL children (girls and boys) b/c they are trying to tell everyone what they want and need, but they don't have the words yet to do this.

Girls and boys generally just react differently! I found with my daughter, she reacted by whining ALL the time. Or screaming. My 3 yo dcg is the same way.

My son is the total opposite. He's getting better at almost 3, but from 12 mos to now; he has been very physical. He had a big problem with biting, pushing, and hitting. And all from someone taking his toy, or not giving him what he wants. Instead of using his words, which is so hard to do this young, he becomes physical. Every day we talk about using our words instead of hitting or pushing. He is getting much better now that his vocabulary is getting bigger!
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Old 10-01-2010, 11:03 AM
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My son was "Bam Bam" from age 4 mo. He just like to hit things and play drums on everything. He went as Bam Bam off the Flintstones his first halloween. Some boys are just brutes. My son is, he is very physical and needs to be entertained. I warn all my DCP that he is a rough and tumble kid. Ive tried everything to bring him down a few notches but its just the way he is. My MIL says my husband was the same way. They grow out of it and mine is very slowly. He started biting at 9 mo and still does it sometimes at almost 3 yrs old. Im relieved to see improvement in him and have faith that he will be out of this phase soon.
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Old 10-01-2010, 11:16 AM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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I guess I am just "lucky" to have a house full of rough boys?! LOL! I just don't get it, because like I said, my two boys never went thru a hitting phase, or biting, throwing toys, anything like that. They were hell on wheels, but not violent!
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