Daycare.com Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-30-2011, 08:50 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing

I have a group of boys all 3 and 4 who are really into playing cars and pretend play, they play very well together until another DCB age 21 months always disrupts them- knocking things down, taking their toys away or hitting them. I try to engage him in other ways but he always wants what they have. I feel like they never get time to engage in their playing cause we are constantly having to redirect the little one. Any ideas?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:00 PM
SilverSabre25's Avatar
SilverSabre25 SilverSabre25 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Where I am legally unlicensed ;), USA
Posts: 7,625
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I have a group of boys all 3 and 4 who are really into playing cars and pretend play, they play very well together until another DCB age 21 months always disrupts them- knocking things down, taking their toys away or hitting them. I try to engage him in other ways but he always wants what they have. I feel like they never get time to engage in their playing cause we are constantly having to redirect the little one. Any ideas?
If you have a play yard or superyard or something, I would try gating the bigger boys into their own little area to play. Also, make sure that the younger boy has some cars of his own to play with in a different area. I'm sure he really wants to play with his friends, but just isn't going to be able to meet them on their developmental level. I have this problem all the time with my 3.5 yo DD and...well, all the other dcks, because they are younger than she is and no where near where she is, play-wise. I do think it's entirely appropriate to protect the bigger kids' play from the littler one/s.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:20 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,311
Default

How many older boys and their ages?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:30 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

There are 3 older ones- 3,3 and 4. And little one is 21 months.
Thought about gating him off but never thought about gating the 3 older ones to have their own space. Thanks
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-30-2011, 07:00 PM
AnythingsPossible's Avatar
AnythingsPossible AnythingsPossible is offline
Daycare Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 801
Default

I don't have a super gate, but do move furniture and playpens around to create area's for the older kids to build with blocks or play games. I have two infants who like to crawl to where ever the big kids are and knock their stuff around. It works very well. At first I tried blocking the infants into area's, but it works much better to give the big kids a small space and let the infants roam.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-30-2011, 07:05 PM
Meeko's Avatar
Meeko Meeko is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 4,275
Default

I agree with the others here....find the big boys a space of their own. Little ones see confinement as negative, but the boys will probably love to have their own private den/hideaway/camp/big boy area. It will make them feel special!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-31-2011, 04:31 AM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,311
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
There are 3 older ones- 3,3 and 4. And little one is 21 months.
Thought about gating him off but never thought about gating the 3 older ones to have their own space. Thanks
I would set up the gated area and rotate the little one into the play of each one of the boys one by one.

First with the four year old and the 21 month old.
Then the next oldest with the 21 mo. old
Then the youngest three with the 21 month old.

They would all take their turns playing with him while the other two played together.

This is a VERY small age difference (21 month old to four). It's only in this last generation that we came up with a notion that kids this far apart are a "different" age group. They are not.

My ten year old was off on spring break a couple of weeks ago and I had one day when only one kid... a four year old .. was here.

My son and the four year old played together ALL DAY LONG... without a single hitch. Six and a half year age difference. They have both been raised to play with older/younger/same age etc. A kid is a kid at my house.

It doesn't matter what age group I put together... as long as all the parties can safely walk they play together every day. My nearly five year old played with a 22 month old for over an hour yesterday playing Melissa and Doug castle blocks.

The older ones need to show the 21 month old how to play toys even if it just parrallel play in the begining. The 21 month old will show the 4 year old ways of playing he never thought of before. It's the younger ones who really show the older ones how to do super creative play. It's okay for the older ones to have time every day where they do the challenging play of playing with someone who can't talk and do everything you can. Now THAT'S playin toys.

Are any of the three older boys your children? Often when providers have these issues they are trying to protect the happiness of their child in play. They know their child is happier with older kids first... then kids their "own" age. So to keep their kid happy they want the best playing kids with their own child.

Often providers feel that the reason they are home and doing care is to be home with their kid and they want their kid to be happy. If their kid is happy playing with their own age or older kids then this takes the burden off the provider to deal with the "home" behavior of their own kid. It can be the only break the provider gets from their own child.

So matching their own kid with the best playing older or same age kid is what works best for the provider and for their child. So when situations like this come up the real question is "how can I keep this little toddler from ruining my son/daughters good gig?"

Not saying this is your situation... Just a very common scenario I have seen over the years.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-31-2011, 04:45 AM
Cat Herder's Avatar
Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 13,753
Default

Great post Nan.....
__________________
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-31-2011, 05:03 AM
Meyou's Avatar
Meyou Meyou is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,705
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would set up the gated area and rotate the little one into the play of each one of the boys one by one.

First with the four year old and the 21 month old.
Then the next oldest with the 21 mo. old
Then the youngest three with the 21 month old.

They would all take their turns playing with him while the other two played together.

This is a VERY small age difference (21 month old to four). It's only in this last generation that we came up with a notion that kids this far apart are a "different" age group. They are not.

My ten year old was off on spring break a couple of weeks ago and I had one day when only one kid... a four year old .. was here.

My son and the four year old played together ALL DAY LONG... without a single hitch. Six and a half year age difference. They have both been raised to play with older/younger/same age etc. A kid is a kid at my house.

It doesn't matter what age group I put together... as long as all the parties can safely walk they play together every day. My nearly five year old played with a 22 month old for over an hour yesterday playing Melissa and Doug castle blocks.

The older ones need to show the 21 month old how to play toys even if it just parrallel play in the begining. The 21 month old will show the 4 year old ways of playing he never thought of before. It's the younger ones who really show the older ones how to do super creative play. It's okay for the older ones to have time every day where they do the challenging play of playing with someone who can't talk and do everything you can. Now THAT'S playin toys.

Are any of the three older boys your children? Often when providers have these issues they are trying to protect the happiness of their child in play. They know their child is happier with older kids first... then kids their "own" age. So to keep their kid happy they want the best playing kids with their own child.

Often providers feel that the reason they are home and doing care is to be home with their kid and they want their kid to be happy. If their kid is happy playing with their own age or older kids then this takes the burden off the provider to deal with the "home" behavior of their own kid. It can be the only break the provider gets from their own child.

So matching their own kid with the best playing older or same age kid is what works best for the provider and for their child. So when situations like this come up the real question is "how can I keep this little toddler from ruining my son/daughters good gig?"

Not saying this is your situation... Just a very common scenario I have seen over the years.
ITA. I was going to suggest teaching the little one how to play in a group but Nan's advice is eloquent as usual. My 22 month olds play with the 4 year olds quite a bit.

Sometimes the big kids ask me to keep the little ones away so they can build or setup something specific so I distract the little ones with a different activity. But most of the time the older kids either make room for the little ones or offer an alternative themselves. It cracks me up when I hear a 4 year old saying to a 2 year old something like, "Look DCG, dinkies are boring. You should play babies with DCG. Look I set up the stroller for you and here is a blankie and a baba."
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bully, hitting, possessive

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Capable of Playing Independently? Logged out for privacy Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 7 07-15-2012 08:53 AM
Playing At The Table During Meals WImom Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 14 02-08-2011 06:23 AM
Guns Guns Guns! How do We Stop Playing Guns!? 55CMK83 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 11 06-04-2010 07:02 AM
Boys Playing with Toy Cars.... Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 5 01-11-2010 09:21 AM
Playing Outside in the Winter? lmdc Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 13 10-16-2009 04:09 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:32 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming