but how do you bottle feed a wee tiny newborn? Like, literally newborn? She's being born today and I'll probably be watching her starting Monday

(baby of a friend I'll have part-time; friend insists that she's taking NO time off work...so yeah...nothing to say on that subject except good luck honey...I'm really hoping she changes her mind--for HER sake)

I've never bottle fed such a young'un before. what do I need to know about it? What do I need to *do* it? I've only ever had daycare babies that were pros at bottles because they were several months old at the time. Please, talk me through this...

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That is so sad.

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My niece was born at 25 weeks and she weighed 2.08 lbs. I fed her in the NICU and really it is the same. It's just that they eat so little and you have to make sure to burp them a little bit more, but really they understand that natural sucking motion so it will be fine. Why in the world is the mother going back to work so soon?

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Agree.

I'd refuse to offer care so she didn't have the option to leave her.

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UGH! Poor new dc baby! It's the same, just itty bitty. 1-2oz at a feeding, more burping, YUCKY meconium poops that are like tar (to look at AND to get off)

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Whats wrong with bottle feeding a newborn?

I had to bottle feed both my babies because it took almost 5 days for my milk to come in, and they were hungry.

When my milk finally came in I tried to breastfeed but they didnt want to.

Im sorry you think its STUPID but it really isnt your choice, its not your child, and you dont know what her reasons are for choosing to bottle feed.

Newborn babies can bottle feed just fine, they do it at the hospitals all the time.

I dont get how you dont get it?

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Awww, poor little muffin! Does mom HAVE to go back to work so soon? I feel bad only taking 2 weeks off, but my hubby will be home for a year or so.

Is mom going to breast feed at all? I don't have any advice at all if that's the case, but if she's just going to pump/bottle or do formula/bottle you should be fine

The only thing I have ever used while feeding a newborn is the bottle and my arms. I simply hold the baby in my arms (just as you would while BFing - I like to have them swaddled in a blankie) and hold the bottle for them while they suck - if baby isn't latching the bottle nipple, just wiggle it around - if they want it, they will take it.
Burp the baby often between sucks.
Also, the only kind of bottles I like/recommend at all for new babies are the brand like Playtex where you use liners (the bottom of the bottle is open so you can push/squeeze all the air up) which REALLY cuts down on the baby taking in air.

I will sometimes rock baby while feeding if they are being fussy which can help.

If once you have baby you need some pointers, PM me. I have bottle fed many newborns.

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I don't think she was saying that bottle feeding was stupid, but more like the question was stupid "how do you bottle feed a newborn". I could be wrong, but I dont' think it was criticism of bottle feeding.

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This has nothing to do with bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding if you read the original post.

It has to do with bottle feeding a *three day* old infant in daycare because her mother doesn't want to take any time off of work.

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I don't think it is the bottle feeding that is bothering her but the fact that the mom is going back to work after 4 days.

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They can drink from bottles just fine. Im confused.

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Check with your licensing agent. I wonder if there is a rule about what age you can start them in your care. Like 6 weeks or something. Jeez, they don't even take puppies and kittens away from their mom till 6 or 8 weeks. This is so sad.

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Silver isn't saying bottle feeding a newborn is stupid, and she doesn't think there is anything wrong with it... she just isn't sure how to do it - if it's any different than bottle feeding an older baby. She was referring to her question being stupid...

Nobody's judging bottle fed newborns!

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Don't ask me, I didn't pose the question

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What am I missing? Who said it was stupid? She wants tips on bottle feeding, not a debate on whether you should or shouldn't bottle feed.

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Silver is legally unlicensed so she doesn't have to follow the 6 week old minimum rule.

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Actually no, it's simply about bottle feeding a newborn.

The fact that mom is going back to work only three days in was simply a detail. A sad detail, yes... but we don't know the circumstances as to why.

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Not ALL newborns take to bottles easily. Some do, some don't. She's asking for tips to make it a little bit easier on this 3 day old baby. What don't you get???

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I think she was saying her question might seem "stupid" in her title. I think another poster thought she was saying that bottle feeding an infant is stupid. I think it was a miscommunication.
K

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Her title says, this sounds stupid. If she means this may be a stupid question then ok, but to me she is saying that bottle feeding a newborn is stupid.

I dont know, maybe im just reading it wrong.

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Ethics aside the age here absolutely matter.

A 6 week old infant is (obviously) still alive at 6 weeks old and therefor has proven it's ability to eat and function. At 3/4 days old many babies can struggle on many levels on both fronts. I would not want to be the one providing care if something tanks because when babies that small fall they fall fast and very hard. It doesn't take much at all for one that little to end up back in the hospital.....and that's WITH being home receiving near one on one care.

A newborn that level of young does not belong in daycare. Period. Grandma's house or whatever as a last resort is one thing, but this? It's insanity.....



(Nothing on you Silver....I'm sure you're just trying to help......)

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I think the title goes along with the first sentence in her post. "This sounds so stupid but but how do you bottle feed a wee tiny newborn?"

She then goes on to ask what supplies she needs and how to do it. I really don't think she meant bottle feeding was bad. She's never fed one that young with a bottle.

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I would not deal with this issue at all as I would never take a baby so young. the youngest I will personally take is 4 weeks but I strongly prefer 6 or 8 weeks. at 3 days old, baby will literally have only hours at home (after checking out from the hospital) before coming over to your house. To me it is almost a dangerous thing to take such a young baby. her feeding and diapers still need to be carefully monitored. what is mom going to do if baby is jaundiced or any other number of issues that come up with tiny ones? This sounds like a bad bad idea OP. I hope you change your mind about accepting her.

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Sorry, I re-read the post, but forgot about the title. She was essentially saying, "this might be a stupid question, but....." She was saying that she felt silly having to ask us how to bottle feed, but the fact that this baby will be 3 days old when she gets her makes it more difficult because she's never fed a baby so young.

I'm sorry, but it seemed quite clear to me. *shrug*

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1-3 ounces every 1-2 hours. Give that angel as much eye contact and secure holding as you can. Use a calm soothing voice. I've had lots of exp with bottling new ones if you dm me, I can help you if you need it.

Sad situation but it does happen. When forced with losing your job, your income. You do things others think are horrible. She has to work, I'm sure it's killing her.
But a roof in this economy sometimes leaves you doing things you hate.

Good luck.

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I didn't say that the child's age or this situation didn't matter. You implied that Silver's post was ABOUT this mother leaving her child so young... when in fact that was just a detial in a post ABOUT how to bottle feed a newborn

The reality is, this isn't your choice to make. You have no idea what the circumstances are that this woman needs to put her child in daycare at this age. If this woman has no income for 6 weeks, what's she supposed to do?

Even if we knew the circumstance and didn't agree with her decision - it's between her and Silver to figure out, as Silver agreed to the arrangement. Also, keep in mind that Silver said this baby was coming PT - we don't know how PT she really meant... could be one day a week for all we know.

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I had a mom tell me 2 weeks but then took 3.5 so hopefully she will at least take a week or two but where she is part time she probably has no leave to take and doesn't see it being that big of a deal. I would just recommend watching closely since they do tend to choke a little if the milk is coming out too fast, burp after every ounce, and realize that they need to eat more often due to only drinking small amounts. A burp rag since they tend to be a little more messy, and always hold while eating. This is a sad situation but some moms do have to return to work right away and don't have family near by.
How much does she work each week?

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Make sure you have a slow flow nipple. Watch the suck-swallow-breathe pattern. If baby doesn't seem very coordinated, take the bottle out of the mouth (or tip it so there is no milk in the nipple) every few sucks. I'd expect 1-2 oz every 1-2 hours at this point. Make sure you and mom are writing things down so one of you will see if there is a problem with intake. 6-8 wet diapers per day, probably minumum of 3 poops per day at this point.

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what? who? where? what am I missing here?

Are we all talking about the same thing?

If anything this thread has been sort of amusing.

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Silver, I too had a DCM a few years back that HAD to go back to work on Monday and had her baby on Thursday night. The baby eagerly took a bottle. I think the nurses at the hospital made sure she was eating ok before releasing mom/child so I think you will probably be just fine.

The only issue I had with feeding one that young was she tended to "forget" she was eating and would drift off to sleep after only a few sucks and I would have to gently wiggle her to rouse her back to alertness enough so she could get an ounce or two down.

I am betting you wil be just fine....and so will baby.

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Silver-make sure you are legally allowed to take an infant that young. We are not allowed to take any child younger then 6 weeks.

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Where I live, if you are legally unlicensed you can take a baby of any age... 3 hours old, if you really wanted to. I know Silver is legally unlicensed - but perhaps there might still be a rule?

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Wow you are a good friend! I would be terrified to take someone else's week old baby. I have never bottle fed an infant so young, but I would imagine to make sure you have the slow flow nipples, and maybe a few different types of bottles/nipples incase she wont take one kind or another.

If I were you, too, I would keep that baby with me at all times. I would be terrified about SIDS, which can be more common with formula fed babies. I have read that pacifiers can help prevent Sids by keeping the child focused on the sucking motion, even when sleeping. Can you get a Moby wrap or something too, so you can hold the baby while tending to the other kids?

I feel sad for the mom who has to go back to work. Maybe when the baby is born she will change her mind. As a woman, I know I wasnt even physically recovered from birth until at least a week and a half.

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Oh, also, keep the baby far away from the other kids and make them use hand sanitizer all day long. If an infant gets a fever or ill at all before 7 weeks old, the emergency room doctors (at least at Children's hospital) have a protocol to do a spinal tap!

I know this bc my dd got sick at exactly 7 weeks old and they told me that had she come a day earlier they would have had to do the spinal. It was bad enough that they stuck her over 10 times with needles trying to draw blood but couldnt get a good vein bc she was so small.

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Silver, I was unable to breastfeed one of my children because I needed postpartum surgery so we bottle fed from day 1. The hospital recommended 2 oz every 2-3 hours and increase as demand required. To be honest I formula fed on demand. I just heated it up 1 oz or 2 oz at a time to minimize waste and threw away what my dd didn't eat in a sitting.

The baby will still offer the same hunger signs as a BF newborn, rooting, fussy etc so you'll be able to tell. They tend to eat slowly and you might need to try a couple of nipples to find one that has a flow that baby can handle. I burped after each oz for the first bit.

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The comment about monitoring her diapers and jaundice, etc, is true--it is a big responsibility. However, someone has to do it. If not Silver, than the mom. If this is her first baby, she won't have anymore idea what to look for than Silver-maybe less. Babies don't come with manuals and things usually turn out right. Just because you gave birth doesn't mean you automatically know about newborn feeding, meconium diapers, and jaundice

It's going to be a hard few weeks for Silver, but it would be a hard few weeks for the mom. As others said, keep a close eye on things and you will do just fine. Maybe a dose of exhaustion at the end of the day.

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Bless Your Heart Silver for being so good hearted and doing this for your friend. You will be fine, just use common sense and relax. You are only as far away from help and the mother as the phone and if it gets too difficult you can voice your concerns.

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Hopefully mom is able to take more time off (or chooses to - not sure what the situation is)!! That's a big responsibility and kudos for you taking it on!

The only advice I can offer is to make sure the bottle nipples are the slow flow or designed for newborn and young infants. Otherwise it may come out to fast and cause choking/spitting up issues.

Good luck!

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I bet once the baby is born she will decide to take time off. A lot of people have pre-conceived ideas BEFORE they have their baby and it all changes once Precious arrives and they fall hopelessly, deeply, forever in love!

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oh I agree with you. silver probably knows a lot more about babies than this first time mom. still, daycares have a HUGE liability that a regular parent does not. infant will be exposed to other kids from day one, not have as much bonding time with mom even if it is part time, and other factors. Taking care of another persons infant is NOT the same as taking care of your own. I dont know what issues this mom is having that is making her have to return to work but I know personally, I would never take a child younger than one month. It does not feel right to me and i just would not be a part of it period. I realize the topic has gotten a little side tracked but bringing it back to the original question......since I would not take a young infant like this, I would never encounter the feeding issue to begin with.

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O. M. G.

Okay; I started to multi-quote and then realized how long the thread had gotten so I gave up. I'll try and clarify a few things. Let me know if I miss something you wanted to know

1) no, bottle feeding is absolutely NOT stupid! The QuESTION was stupid! I have two kids and have *never* bottle fed an infant that young. Breastfeeding them is different...so I thought bottlefeeding might be the same...teaching them, helping them figure out how, etc.

2)I'm not passing any judgement on the mom for expecting to go right back to work; I don't know the details of her financial situation but she did say that they can't pay bills if she doesn't go right back to work. I do half-expect her to have a C-Section in which case she will NOT be going back next week no matter what she thinks.

3)after we talked a couple months ago about things, and her main care option and her concerns about it, I decided that this was something I was willing to take on for the good of the baby and to help a friend.

4) It's only three days a week until mid-December, then it will be two days a week. It's not like it's full-time

5) thanks for the reminder of being super vigilant during sleep, etc. Not that I wouldn't be, but yeah--that's a great point in one so itty bitty.

6) I'll double check the nipples, thanks.

7) Thank you for the advice to have both mom and me keep track of things and pass it back and forth.

8) I *do* know about newborns, I know a LOT about newborns. I've had two and I read nonstop about things. I also have 8 nieces and nephews, 6 of whom are very close to me. I just don't know about *bottle-feeding* newborns.

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I've done this twice. The baby was less than a week old both times. One baby was dropped off on his way home from the hospital so his mom could work for a few hours. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Anyway... I personally really like the Tomee tippee bottles. But, the seem to flow faster than I would like.

I also suggest a really good ring sling.

*and I was also slightly amused by this thread...some people spend too much time on the icky parenting sites where too many things are judged harshly*

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I think that you're a good friend. You will do fine. I do worry about the mom though. Doesn't her job require some sort of a release from the doctor and will the doctor give her one? That just seems so hard on mom. I understand the bills, but running herself into the ground with a newborn that isn't going to be sleeping all night just seems so hard. I feel badly for her. Excuse me for asking, but was this a planned baby? I mean if money is so tight that she can't take week off, I just feel so bad for her. I know that sometimes if you wait to be able to 100% afford a baby, then you may never have one, but man going back to work so early sends shivers down my spine. She's lucky to have you

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I guess it would be no different then when daycare providers go right back. I went back when my ds was a week old.

Never really recovered though and its been 11 years!

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Thanks I'm not sure what she does but I think it's a small business that she works for so I don't know. I do not know if it was planned...I think baby was *hoped* for but mom has a lot of issues herself and was told for most of her life that she would never conceive and if she did she would never carry to term. So...I suspect that babe is something of a surprise, to all involved.

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I cannot imagine going back to daycare after 1 week either. I had 2 C-sections and there was no way I could have done that. The first one was an emergency and the 2nd was planned (C-sections I mean)

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Well I wish the best for her and baby. I hope she has a great support system beyond what you're helping her with.

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I don't know about your area but I can't even take a baby until they're 6 weeks old bc of the vaccinations. I would call your licensing rep before you take the baby. The mother may not have a choice but to take off work.

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Thank you for this. For the humor at the top and for not going psycho on the OP for asking a question. I agree, sad that mom has to be away but atleast silver will take good care and keep a watchful eye on the newborn.

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I had my first one c-section=worst pain/experience of my life. Had so many issues afterwards (medically)

Next 3 were all natural and I was up and around right away. My 3rd one was quickly (total labor 3 hours maybe as I didn't know I was in labor). I went back at 2 weeks and #4 I went back in a week.

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update: mama had a C-section yesterday evening. I haven't spoken with her but there's no freaking way she'll be able to go back next week, so it's a moot point anyway. But it was a useful conversation. I don't know when I'll be getting babe but she'll probably be pretty small, if not *quite* as newborn as I was braced for!

Thanks again for the advice, the sympathy for mom, and everything else.

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colostrum comes in before your milk does and is more than enough for a newborn to drink. Milk is a supply-demand, so if you're not nursing frequently, it won't come in and then of course you're going to have trouble breastfeeding.

Of course some mothers to definately have issues and I don't know your whole situation, but milk does not come in for most people for 3-10 days and babies are just fine on the colostrum.

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