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Parents and Guardians Forum>Am I Being Too Overprotective?
Annoyed 04:49 AM 11-19-2011
OK, so my husband left early this morning and my 3 year old woke up as well. He decides to put the TV on and tells her to be quiet until Mommy wakes up.

Now, it may not seem like such a big deal, but she is 3 and I am sleeping. She could get into anything and I wouldn't know about it. His defense is that she is very mature for her age and she is a good kid so she won't do anything bad.

I think she would have been just as happy waiting for me in her bedroom reading books.

Do any of you let your 3 year old or younger be unsupervised? Am I being too overprotective?
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daycare 07:56 AM 11-19-2011
I'm not one to really pick fights with my husband .lol

I would just tell my husband exactly what you said and please don't let it happen again.

I guess you could look at it this way, she could wake up while both of you are sleeping and you may not even know it. No fault to anyone.

I do think that a 3 year old is way too young to be left unattended, but I don't think that this situation would really bother me too much.
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Unregistered 10:17 AM 11-19-2011
I dont find it a big deal, when my son was 3 he always watched tv downstairs without me staring at him watching tv, Even now when its the weekend and our kids are up early, we get them some milk, and put them downstairs with cartoons, and go back up and lay in bed and watch the news, when they are done watching cartoons, they come upstairs and crawl into bed with us and they are 2 and 5, I really think you can judge what your child will do while in another room, my son, he never dug into things, or tried to get into things, and my 2 yr old, only does what her big brother does, and if shes not doing something good, he makes sure wwe know about it.
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Kaddidle Care 10:27 AM 11-19-2011
Oooh she could have gotten into sooo much trouble! - Hopefully she didn't.

It depends on the child but at 3.. hmmm

If I try to sleep in you can be guaranteed that my son will come in chattering away and wake me up.
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cheerfuldom 10:54 AM 11-19-2011
Its always better to be safe than sorry. He should have woken you up and asked what you preferred. I schedule my own day to make sure that I am always up before the kids and after the kids. She's only 3 and with you sleeping, thats not far from her being home alone completely. Its not overprotective, its good parenting.
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sharlan 11:19 AM 11-19-2011
I'm sorry, but I would never leave a 3 yo up while I was asleep. I never did it with my kids and I sure wouldn't do it with my grandkids.
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AfterSchoolMom 11:59 AM 11-19-2011
I never did that with mine. There's WAY too much that they could have gotten into. I'm really glad that mine are old enough now that I don't have to worry too much.
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e.j. 07:39 AM 11-20-2011
A 3 year old girl in our area was killed several years ago while her parents were sleeping. If I remember correctly, she had opened a bottom drawer on her dresser in order to stand on it so she could reach something on top of the dresser. The dresser toppled over, fell on her and killed her. Her parents found her under the dresser when they woke up.

You're not being overprotective in my view. Explain to your husband that no matter how mature a 3 year old might seem, she is still a young child who needs appropriate supervision. You can't give her that if you're still sleeping and unaware that she's up and moving about.
You're not being overprotective.
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Blackcat31 07:52 AM 11-20-2011
It is hard to give a definitive answer on this one.

When my DD was 3 yrs old, I absolutely would have trusted her up alone watching TV while I slept.

If it was my DS, I wouldn't have trusted him at 6 yrs old, let alone 3 yrs old.

I do think your DH should have at least woke you up to tell you he was leaving and left the choice of staying asleep, getting up completey or moving to the couch in the living room to sleep with one eye open up to you.

Simply leaving without telling you was wrong IMPO.
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Candyland 06:47 PM 11-20-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I'm sorry, but I would never leave a 3 yo up while I was asleep. I never did it with my kids and I sure wouldn't do it with my grandkids.
Same with me. Just sweetly tell your husband to always wake you up when daughter is awake and he's leaving if you happen to be in bed.
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youretooloud 11:01 AM 11-21-2011
I think it was incredibly thoughtful of your husband to do that for you.

My own kid could watch cartoons and eat a snack while I was sleeping, BUT, I knew they were up. (big age difference, so they weren't together)

So, while I'd allow my own kids to be awake in the tv room while I slept, I'd have a talk with everybody first. I'd make sure the doors were well locked, and I'd lay the ground rules for what shows were allowed and what were not.
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Kaddidle Care 05:02 PM 11-21-2011
This is what a 3 year old unattended COULD do. (I think it's a hoax but it's pretty awesome!)
http://shine.yahoo.com/moments-of-mo...messy-way.html
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SimpleMom 08:18 AM 11-30-2011
I wouldn't have liked that either. I don't even like my kids left in thier highchairs when my hubby comes in and say goodbye to me and i'm hardly awake yet.
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AnneCordelia 10:26 AM 12-01-2011
I let my current 3yo up while I am sleeping in on weekends but only because I have two older children who I know are up with him. My oldest son wakes him up (they share a room) for company in the morning. Not on his own though.
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JennyBear 11:11 AM 12-01-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
This is what a 3 year old unattended COULD do. (I think it's a hoax but it's pretty awesome!)
http://shine.yahoo.com/moments-of-mo...messy-way.html
LOL!!!!! If I walked into that I think I would die of a stroke!! haha I would be running for the vacuum and some sort of anxiety medication LMAO!!
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CheekyChick 01:31 PM 12-01-2011
I would NEVER leave a 3 year old unattended. EVER. Too many things could happen and I'd never take that chance.
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janealb 08:36 AM 12-02-2011
Well I totally understand ...I would think of a million things that could have happened to the child from falling off the couch to finding her in the kitchenplaying with knives. Yeah I might just be exagerating but still..what I mean is that I totally understand what you mean
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Christian Mother 01:30 PM 12-02-2011
I'm like you op-I am just way to over protective. I am a light sleeper so I wouldn't be able to sleep hearing the tv on upstairs knowing someone is watching it. Doesn't matter if hubby was the one awake. I would know that the kids would be up soon as he was. Their early risers. Not to mention my children are not comfertable being by them selves so they'd have come bouncing on the bed to wake me. We have a wonderful dog would help alert me if someone was at the door. But for me 3 yr is to young to have a child unattended. There has been way to many children that age and a little older taking them selves for a walk with out any one with them. I haven't heard of any good news about there where abouts. I think it would be best to have your hubby just pop his head in and just let you know that your little one is up and watching tv. My husband when this happens ashually puts our daughter now
4 1/2 in bed with me if I am snoozing...but I am instantly awake from that moment..lol!!
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KBCsMommy 01:44 PM 12-02-2011
This reminded me of a story my MIL told me about my husband.......

When my husband was 3 his mom left for work, dad was still sleeping, she put tv on for him.

Awhile later his dad woke up with smoke everywhere.....

My husband was trying to make breakfast!!!! He had shoved all kinds of stuff in the toaster and it was smoking and about to catch on fire.

There was food everywhere too!!! He told his dad he was making cookies, he had all kinds of food in his toy dumptruck....he would fill it up in the kitchen and was dumping it in the living room!!!! Flour, sugar, cereal, everything he could find!!!!

Needless to say they were soon divorced!!!!!!!!


Anyways.... I have a 3yo ds and would never leave him unsupervised EVER.
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jojosmommy 07:46 PM 12-05-2011
I wouldn't leave my kids unattended at that age. I would tell your husband you would prefer he come into the bedroom tell you he is leaving and that your child is awake and let you then decide what you would like to do about it (get up or not). When I leave early for work or to go somewhere on the weekends I always tell my hubs I am going and if our son is awake I place him in bed with my husband, that way he bugs him to get up (not me).
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Unregistered 08:44 PM 01-21-2012
So when you go to sleep at night, do both of you sleep at the same time? If not, then ok I could see how this might upset you. If so, then I don't get it. Sure she could have gotten into trouble, but he seems to know your child. She can also get into trouble at night when you both are sleeping and you'd never know it until after the fact. I'm not advocating leaving the baby alone all day long, but he probably figured you're in the house and you would likely awaken soon. I don't think I'd yell at him for it. I might just say "Hon, I appreciate that you wanted me to sleep in but I prefer that you wake me before you leave if (your daughter's name here)( is awake..." That way you're not coming off accusatory or putting him down, and you're still getting your point across.Welcome to parenting a preschooler. lol
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Tags:3 year old, husband - helping out, over protective, unsupervised
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