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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Just Don't Have a Backbone Yet
Laura5287 03:10 PM 04-07-2015
I am so mad at myself. I just can't do it. I want to but between the guilty feeling and my husband and haven't yet.
I know it is getting old coming here and complaining and getting advise and not using it.
So last Friday I had a meeting with year olds mother. Talking about how her child should have some kind of defense against the 3 year old. The three year old has not done anything that is hurting the other child but he did about 3 months back. But, now, the 5 year old thinks he can push and head butt whenever the 3 year old comes towards him. I think it is out of being timid now but I can't have that happening here. I did stand my ground and say that I will not allow any pushing whatsoever for whatever reason. I also told her I would not be changing anything that I do.
This is after she accused me of loving her son less over the 3 year old. Yes, I have had the 3 year old since he was 8 weeks old but I don't treat them any different. They both get the same attention. I have invited these people to outings, to baseball games in a box that included unlimited food and beverages. I get him christmas birthday and holiday gifts and then they come back and tell me this. I am so mad tonight.
Tonight she sat outside my driveway for 15 minutes and waited until 530 to come in and left at 535. I close at 530..is she waiting for me to say something. I don't care what they do after they get out of work, but darn it get here to get your kids on time. She got out at 4 showed up in jogging outfit. I am very irritated. Sorry for the rambling.
I know it is getting old coming here and complaining and getting advise and not using it.
So last Friday I had a meeting with year olds mother. Talking about how her child should have some kind of defense against the 3 year old. The three year old has not done anything that is hurting the other child but he did about 3 months back. But, now, the 5 year old thinks he can push and head butt whenever the 3 year old comes towards him. I think it is out of being timid now but I can't have that happening here. I did stand my ground and say that I will not allow any pushing whatsoever for whatever reason. I also told her I would not be changing anything that I do.
This is after she accused me of loving her son less over the 3 year old. Yes, I have had the 3 year old since he was 8 weeks old but I don't treat them any different. They both get the same attention. I have invited these people to outings, to baseball games in a box that included unlimited food and beverages. I get him christmas birthday and holiday gifts and then they come back and tell me this. I am so mad tonight.
Tonight she sat outside my driveway for 15 minutes and waited until 530 to come in and left at 535. I close at 530..is she waiting for me to say something. I don't care what they do after they get out of work, but darn it get here to get your kids on time. She got out at 4 showed up in jogging outfit. I am very irritated. Sorry for the rambling.
Thriftylady 04:41 PM 04-07-2015
I think you are trying to hard to be "friends". Inviting them to events and such is a line I wouldn't cross really. I would have told her if she really felt like I wasn't being fair to her child, she needed to submit her two week notice. Maybe it is my age, maybe it is what I went through with my ex husband, but I no room for people to be disrespectful to me especially in my own home..
Kabob 06:06 PM 04-07-2015
Hand her a late pickup fee since she was out 5 minutes late (no excuse since she was there 15 minutes early).
Tell her that your driveway is for pickup and drop off only. It is not a parking lot. She must exit the car for pickup immediately upon arrival in your driveway in order to keep the space clear. This should take no more than 2 minutes (or however long you want to designate...if I'm feeling chatty it takes 5 minutes).
I have families schedule hours within my operating hours and pay for them accordingly. As long as my families pay for their time and follow their scheduled hours, I don't care if they sleep all day and eat nachos...they pay less if they use less time and more if they use more time.
She sounds like a whiny teenager who is excusing their poor behavior by saying mommy and daddy love their sibling more than them. If you don't want to term, give them a probationary period or mark a day on your calendar you'll term if they don't improve.
Tell her that your driveway is for pickup and drop off only. It is not a parking lot. She must exit the car for pickup immediately upon arrival in your driveway in order to keep the space clear. This should take no more than 2 minutes (or however long you want to designate...if I'm feeling chatty it takes 5 minutes).
I have families schedule hours within my operating hours and pay for them accordingly. As long as my families pay for their time and follow their scheduled hours, I don't care if they sleep all day and eat nachos...they pay less if they use less time and more if they use more time.
She sounds like a whiny teenager who is excusing their poor behavior by saying mommy and daddy love their sibling more than them. If you don't want to term, give them a probationary period or mark a day on your calendar you'll term if they don't improve.
Laura5287 03:54 AM 04-08-2015
I don't think that I was so much as trying to make friends. I think that this is just how I am. I did the baseball games for a parent appreciation outing and I buy the kids different things because I really enjoy doing that. All my kids are grown. I thought that I had a good provider relationship with them until I had to put my foot down on some matters that I was being taken advantage of. I called them out on them and then that is when the daycare isn't good. I know this is the nature of the business though. I really have learned a lot over this past year. And if I keep learning, things can only get better.
Ariana 09:11 AM 04-08-2015
Ok so you are a nice person but now what? You are feeling resentful and used. Now it's time to reign it in and stand your ground. No more nicey nice for this family. They are rude, selfish brats. What would you do if this was a child? Some people are not nice and just because you are nice doesn't mean you have to be a pushover. I had a daycare mom exactly like this. In the end I just felt anger and resentment so I stopped being nice to her. Stopped doing any favours and just focused on the kids. She never ever did one thing for me in the 3.5 years I took care of her kids. She wouldn't even give me a reference for new families. She said she would but when they'd call she wouldn't call them back. Selfish selfish selfish!! My advice is to trust what your heart is saying here. Stop the co-dependent behaviours and stick to your rules.
Thriftylady 11:17 AM 04-08-2015
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Ok so you are a nice person but now what? You are feeling resentful and used. Now it's time to reign it in and stand your ground. No more nicey nice for this family. They are rude, selfish brats. What would you do if this was a child? Some people are not nice and just because you are nice doesn't mean you have to be a pushover. I had a daycare mom exactly like this. In the end I just felt anger and resentment so I stopped being nice to her. Stopped doing any favours and just focused on the kids. She never ever did one thing for me in the 3.5 years I took care of her kids. She wouldn't even give me a reference for new families. She said she would but when they'd call she wouldn't call them back. Selfish selfish selfish!! My advice is to trust what your heart is saying here. Stop the co-dependent behaviours and stick to your rules.
I agree with this. I have a hard time being tough when I need to as well. This forum though has helped me a ton!Ok so you are a nice person but now what? You are feeling resentful and used. Now it's time to reign it in and stand your ground. No more nicey nice for this family. They are rude, selfish brats. What would you do if this was a child? Some people are not nice and just because you are nice doesn't mean you have to be a pushover. I had a daycare mom exactly like this. In the end I just felt anger and resentment so I stopped being nice to her. Stopped doing any favours and just focused on the kids. She never ever did one thing for me in the 3.5 years I took care of her kids. She wouldn't even give me a reference for new families. She said she would but when they'd call she wouldn't call them back. Selfish selfish selfish!! My advice is to trust what your heart is saying here. Stop the co-dependent behaviours and stick to your rules.
KidGrind 11:30 AM 04-08-2015
Originally Posted by Laura5287:
I don't think that I was so much as trying to make friends. I think that this is just how I am. I did the baseball games for a parent appreciation outing and I buy the kids different things because I really enjoy doing that. All my kids are grown. I thought that I had a good provider relationship with them until I had to put my foot down on some matters that I was being taken advantage of. I called them out on them and then that is when the daycare isn't good. I know this is the nature of the business though. I really have learned a lot over this past year. And if I keep learning, things can only get better.
Learning is great. Even so, if you don’t put your knowledge to use in making your working situation better, what good is it?I don't think that I was so much as trying to make friends. I think that this is just how I am. I did the baseball games for a parent appreciation outing and I buy the kids different things because I really enjoy doing that. All my kids are grown. I thought that I had a good provider relationship with them until I had to put my foot down on some matters that I was being taken advantage of. I called them out on them and then that is when the daycare isn't good. I know this is the nature of the business though. I really have learned a lot over this past year. And if I keep learning, things can only get better.
I am not looking for a response or answer. I want you to think on it and do what’s best for YOU. Good luck.