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RPrice 09:37 AM 06-09-2011
I am not a licensed day care provider, but I agreed to help out a single dad this summer.

In the beginning, I quoted him $100/week for his son for the hours of 6:15 am to 4:30 pm. He then explained that it wouldn't be every day because his daughter was going to help him out most of the time, so we agreed on $2.00/hour. Well, then his daughter moved away and now it's back to full-time care. He asked me again what the rate was and again I told him $100/week. He looked at the ground and shook his head back and forth like that was going to be too much so we ended up agreeing to $80/week.

DCB is supposed to be picked up sometime between 4:00 and 4:30, but in the last two weeks, one night it was 6:30 pm, then 9:10 pm, then 7:10 pm. This is usually with 1-hour notice.

I feel like an idiot because I didn't negotiate an overtime rate, but I don't feel like he would be able to afford it anyway. I feel like I was duped into this and am feeling angry. I feel like he doesn't respect my time. Last night he was 3 hours late because he had to wash his truck! I haven't left my house in almost 3 days because of the unscheduled late pick ups.

I'm thinking of giving him 2 to 3 weeks notice and just nip this in the bud before it gets more out of hand or am I being unreasonable?

Thanks!
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cheerfuldom 10:00 AM 06-09-2011
If you want to work it out, write up an agreement of something you can live and give him an ultimatum to sign and abide by it or leave. Other than that, yes just tell him it is not working out and he needs to find something else. 3 hours late is unacceptable.
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mrs.meg 10:16 AM 06-09-2011
He has taken advantage completely. You sound a lot like me and I have a hard time being firm with parents. I would suggest that you give him a week's notice at the most and tell him after that you will not be available after that date. He is completely disrespecting you and your family time and that is unacceptable! My husband would have already told him off!
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youretooloud 10:25 AM 06-09-2011
Originally Posted by mrs.meg:
He has taken advantage completely. You sound a lot like me and I have a hard time being firm with parents. I would suggest that you give him a week's notice at the most and tell him after that you will not be available after that date. He is completely disrespecting you and your family time and that is unacceptable! My husband would have already told him off!
This is what I would do. You are not making enough money to make it worth your time. If you want to be nice, give him til next Friday, but I wouldn't feel bad for telling him tomorrow is his last day. That gives him three days to find someone else.
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sharlan 10:25 AM 06-09-2011
You are being taken advantage of. It sounds like he doesn't have any desire to spend time with his son. Nor does he have any respect for you. You are just someone to dump his kid off on, nothing more.

Since you don't have a contract, I would tell him that you are unable to care for the child anymore. I wouldn't give him any notice. If he has already paid you for the week, I would tell him when he comes today, that this is it, do not bring the child back tomorrow.
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Zoe 10:27 AM 06-09-2011
That is unacceptable. I think you should either stick up for yourself and say something, or just give him a notice. Either way, something needs to change.

Mrs. Meg, what kind of dog do you have that's pictured in your profile pic? She looks just like my pup, who's a blue heeler mix.
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daycare 10:29 AM 06-09-2011
Girl you are patient and crazy.....lol Dont let this person walk all over you.

I would never get out of bad for at that time for that samll amount of money, but thats just me.

I agree. You need to write up a document stating what days, times and amount the father is to pay you, along with what day the payment is due.

If I were you I would say I would watch the child from 6:15-4:30 daily. If you pick up after 4:30, then the rate is $7.00 per hour, or $1.00 per min after pick up.

Don't worry if he can afford it or not, that's not your issue to worry about. What you want is to detour the father from picking up past the agreed pick up time.
If you don't set boundaries now, its only going to get worse and this father is going to take it as far as he can until you do.
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wdmmom 10:30 AM 06-09-2011
Whether he can afford childcare of not is not the issue. He needs childcare so he needs to change his lifestyle to afford it.

As for picking up late, tell him his rate will be $5.00 an hour for any pick up taking place after 4pm.

He has outworn his welcome and that doesn't have anything to do with his ability to pay or not.

You are doing him a favor and doing it very cheap. Either he sees now that he has a good thing going or he'll see it when he's dishing out double the money to someone else.
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cheerfuldom 10:33 AM 06-09-2011
yeah and since no agreement is signed, you don't have to give any notice or anything whatsoever if thats what you want to do
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RPrice 11:13 AM 06-09-2011
Thanks so much for the validation!

Not one hour after I posted this he called me and asked me what I was doing tonight! I told him I have to go to the store for groceries because I haven't been able to leave the house in three days and that I am down to PB&J and my husband is eating out of a vending machine at work!

Now, I have to drive to the grocey store at 4:30 with DCB and call the grandmother when I get there so she can pick him up from me at the grocery store.

I'm done! Letting him know tonight! Thanks!!!!
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sharlan 11:41 AM 06-09-2011
Wait a minute................YOU have to call the grandmother from the grocery store so that SHE can pick him up there. Why can't she pick the child up from your house before you have to go to the store?

When you meet the grandmother at the store, have everything that belongs to the child.

If you haven't already been paid for this week, I would venture to say that you won't see it.

Can anyone guess why this man is a single father?
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cheerfuldom 12:59 PM 06-09-2011
I am guessing grandma won't show or hasn't even been told of these plans. I would call her NOW to make sure she is there at a specific time, knows what your car looks like, has your number, etc. so hopefully there will not be a mixup. Try and get her to your house before you even have to leave. Hand her ALL of his stuff. Then call dad later and term. Don't get grandma involved in this.
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Crystal 01:49 PM 06-09-2011
I'd tell him to have grandma watch him from now on. Honestly, if I had found out he was 3 hours late because he washed his truck there wouldn't be an opportunity for him to be late again. What an inconsiderate jerk.
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momofsix 01:55 PM 06-09-2011
Originally Posted by RPrice:
I am not a licensed day care provider, but I agreed to help out a single dad this summer.

In the beginning, I quoted him $100/week for his son for the hours of 6:15 am to 4:30 pm. He then explained that it wouldn't be every day because his daughter was going to help him out most of the time, so we agreed on $2.00/hour. Well, then his daughter moved away and now it's back to full-time care. He asked me again what the rate was and again I told him $100/week. He looked at the ground and shook his head back and forth like that was going to be too much so we ended up agreeing to $80/week.

DCB is supposed to be picked up sometime between 4:00 and 4:30, but in the last two weeks, one night it was 6:30 pm, then 9:10 pm, then 7:10 pm. This is usually with 1-hour notice.

I feel like an idiot because I didn't negotiate an overtime rate, but I don't feel like he would be able to afford it anyway. I feel like I was duped into this and am feeling angry. I feel like he doesn't respect my time. Last night he was 3 hours late because he had to wash his truck! I haven't left my house in almost 3 days because of the unscheduled late pick ups.

I'm thinking of giving him 2 to 3 weeks notice and just nip this in the bud before it gets more out of hand or am I being unreasonable?

Thanks!
Please tell me he's a trucker, and had to wash his semi-not that he washed his own personal vehile
If he can't agree, in writing, what time he'll pick up-starting today- I'd get rid of him. He's using you and being rude about it!
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Mom_of_two 01:58 PM 06-09-2011
Yikes!!

I agree with pp's! Unacceptable!! Really kind of unbelievable, actually. Lol at the idea of an overtime rate- 15 min late is overtime. Hours is a whole other level. Good luck.
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Tags:backbone, contract - rates, daycare is not a charity, enforcing policies - consistency, parental responsibility
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