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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Cut Out For This Job........
trippingontoys 10:05 AM 04-04-2013
This is one of those days I am seriously considering finding another job. I want to be at home for my kids, but I am emotionally not equipped to deal with things that are going to come up in this job. I had a parent drop off this morning and showed me a place on the babys arm that had small red bumps on it and said she was crawling around on a rug last night and it irritated her arm and stomach but her stomach was pretty much gone it was just on her arm.

I know I should have turned her away, but this is a friend of mine and I believe them. I still believe them, I just don't know that the rug is what caused the rash. It could have just been coincidental that it showed up after that.

Anyway, an hour or so later I was feeding her a bottle and she lifted up her arm and pulled her sleeper up. Her other arm was covered in bright red rash. Along with her stomach, back and legs. Since my policy says no undiagnosed rash I called the parent. I said I know it may be nothing, but I can't keep her with an all over rash. There is more to this story involving a SIL I also babysit for but its more than I want to go into. Anyway the dad called and said he was on the way (he was very angry, I just don't know if it was at me or the SIL). A few minutes later the mom showed up out of the blue to get both kids. I expected them to leave the second child because the third child would be getting off the bus after school. They were all here because child #4 had a doctors appointment. They took both and said the grandma would be getting third child off the bus.

So now I'm confused and hurt and wonder why they took all the kids. To the point that I cried after they left cause I feel guilty for making them pick up the baby. I even offered to keep child #4 in place of baby for no extra charge after his doctors appointment because the dad had to take his mom to the city for another appointment.

These people are friends of mine. We live in the same town, we go to church together. And now I wonder if I made the wrong decision and if they will even bring their kids back next week. This is the family I hold spots for all winter without payment because its a large chunk of my income 8 months out of the year. They are just now starting back for spring.

I cannot let this tear me up. If they choose not to come back over something that was clearly outlined in my policies that is their problem, not mine. Their kids love me and they are always telling me how glad they are that I can watch their kids. I turn people away on a regular basis because I am full and I have a great reputation in this town. I have got to try my best not to take this personally. But right now my heart is hurting. Sometimes I don't think people realize this is my business and I have policies in place to keep everyone as well as possible. I wouldn't want my child someplace that kept contagious children.

And just for the kicker, when she picked up the kids I blurted out not to pay me for today because I felt guilty. I would really like to bang my head against the wall now.

Totally off the subject, but just not something I needed on top of all of this one of my baby chickens is dying. And I know its just a chicken, but its cute and fuzzy and I love animals.

Please let this day be over quickly.
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Brooksie 10:11 AM 04-04-2013
Awww sounds like you're having a really tough day. Also sounds like, from the looks of this forum, that we are ALL having a rough day today I know its hard, but you do have to stick to your policies. That's something I have learned over the past 7 months. I was definitely the same way you are and I still slip up because I feel bad. Its like I'm too nice for this job. lol. But it is a job, it is a business and it does affect other kids, parents, and you. You definitely need to stick to your policies and if its hard for you to just say its your rule, you can always say that LEGALLY/in according to licensing, you can't have the kid here with the rash. And I'm really sorry about your chicken Hope your day gets better!!
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Play Care 10:16 AM 04-04-2013
Oh no!

Little story: Last fall two of my dc boys kept coming in with what mom said were "bug bites" Every day they would come in with more of these bites and mom would say "I have no idea how they get covered like this, we are outside but no one else is getting bit!" The played fine and seemed "normal."
One day after WEEKS of these boys coming in with "bites" the older one was screaming that his finger hurt. I saw nothing on it, but called mom to come get. Brings them back the next morning and I insist at this point that she take them to the doctor and get a note saying that whatever they have is NOT contagious in a child care setting (and the last part is the kicker, because most things ARE more contagious in a day care setting ) Turns out they had infantago - NOT bug bites and when it moved to his fingers it became painful.
Lesson learned. When in doubt, call them out!

As for parents being angry, too bad, so sad. They are behaving badly and that's on them, not you. I'm in a small town too, so I know it can stink. Hold your head high because you did the right thing!
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bunnyslippers 10:30 AM 04-04-2013
You did the right thing. I know it is so hard, and so frustrating, to feel like doing the right thing is going to make people mad at you. But in reality, that baby could have a rash for some other reason. If it is spreading, it is not from the carpet!

I had a little girl get dropped off on Monday with very pink eyes. Her mother swore up and down that she had been on medication since Saturday so she wasnt contagious. I knew better, but believed her because she is a "friend" and I thought she would be honest with me.

Well, she may have been telling the truth...but today, I have a different little girl who has the same pink eyes. hmmmmm.

I also have a little girl who has "allergies,Z" but her brother is home with strep.

It never ends!

Hang in there, tootsie!
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butterfly 10:36 AM 04-04-2013
Originally Posted by Rebecca:
I cannot let this tear me up. If they choose not to come back over something that was clearly outlined in my policies that is their problem, not mine. Their kids love me and they are always telling me how glad they are that I can watch their kids. I turn people away on a regular basis because I am full and I have a great reputation in this town. I have got to try my best not to take this personally. But right now my heart is hurting. Sometimes I don't think people realize this is my business and I have policies in place to keep everyone as well as possible. I wouldn't want my child someplace that kept contagious children.
I think you said it best yourself!! Sorry you are going through this. You absolutely did the right thing though! Praying for you.
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Mom&Provider 10:41 AM 04-04-2013
I hear ya, but you totally did the right thing by sending her home. Carpet or no carpet, you just never know what it's from.

If they are mad, fine. Better to have them mad then your entire group with this same rash next week!
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Sugar Magnolia 11:00 AM 04-04-2013
You did the right thing! Sorry they were like that to you. (((hugs)))
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KDC 11:38 AM 04-04-2013
Last Monday, I sent an infant home for puking. It was a little puke and because he had a cold it was mainly milk & mucus. I called and had him sent home (1 puke, and out)... I felt so guilty. Also because I knew they'd need to keep him home the next day as well to make sure it wasn't a stomach virus. They started their own business and I know they have a TON of work. I just felt bad. They sent him Wednesday morning, and he had massive diarrhea (whitish yellow with foul smell), called to have him picked up, again and within an hour, I was puking and had to shut down my daycare. The kicker... she posted on Facebook on Tuesday (thank goodness for Lysol and plastic baggies). Had I seen that, I wouldn't have taken DCB on Wednesday.

As I was puking, I NO longer felt guilty... and won't in the future. It's part of life, not our problem - all daycare's have to keep ALL children as safe as possible, if they don't like it, they should get a NANNY that offers sick care.

They knew the rules when they signed up. (((hugs))) Today is a yucky day, but tomorrow will be better. Sounds like you're a good deal for them, and they'd have these rules wherever they'd go... Hopefully, you get the respect you deserve though. By letting them off the hook for paying, they may sense you sent them home before it was really necessary? I would set the record straight soon, otherwise - they will NOT be paying for illnesses on their end going forward.
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trippingontoys 01:03 PM 04-04-2013
Things are better now. :-) Turns out I am way too sensitive. The dad wasn't mad at me. I sent him a text and told him I was sorry if I handled the situation in a way that was upsetting to him. I in no way said I was wrong sending the baby home, just that I didn't mean to get in the middle of the family issues (involving the sister in law). He wasn't the least bit upset with me. Said they all love me and don't want me to think I did anything wrong. (I have known these people for years, take them meals when they are sick or the kids are sick, visit with them when they are off for the winter cause the kid miss me, etc.) He was upset with SIL and didn't mean to take it out on me. So all is well in that area. And so far the chicken is still holding on. :-) Thanks to everyone for the thoughts and prayers. It helps to have other people to talk to that understand my frustrations.

As for the stupidity of telling them not to pay me, I'm just glad it was not a normally scheduled day for them. It was a last minute drop in and hopefully I can keep my mouth shut the next time something like this happens. Part of it was who it was. I have other parents I would charge them if they were here for 5 minutes and not feel the least bit guilty. I know that's terrible, but I almost wish one of my parents would take offense to my policies and decide to go elsewhere. :-)
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mama0609 02:09 PM 04-05-2013
Glad things turned out ok with them. I'm sorry about your chicken! I love animals too! I'm the one who cries more when animals die in movies than when people die.
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AmyKidsCo 02:15 PM 04-05-2013
I'm glad it worked out for you.

Next time you're in a similar situation, try focusing on the children rather than your policies. The reason you have the policy is to PROTECT THE CHILDREN. If the rash had been contagious other children could have caught it, so you had to send the child home to protect the other children. It's not about our policies, it's about what's best for the children.
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Tags:hurt, illness policy, new job, parents
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