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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Have Friends Come Over During the Day?
jacksmommy13 10:04 AM 01-24-2016
My daughter is 4, and is in preschool. I have 1 dcb (2 years), my son (2 years) and 2 SA kids (both 7). My daughter has been asking for a playdate here with a friends from school. Most likely, because of there age, her friends mom will want to stay too.

My neighbor, who has been my close friend for years since we moved here, has a 20 month old and has been asking for a playdate with the kids too.
Would it be OK to invite them over?

If you have an in-home day care, do you have friends come over when you have dcks? What about playdates for your own children when you have dcks?
Thanks!
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Unregistered 02:51 PM 01-24-2016
Sure I would if I had a small day care.
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childcaremom 02:53 PM 01-24-2016
It depends on ratios. All children on my property under 12 count in my numbers. So if I had room, then yes, I've done it. If I am full, then I can't.
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childcaremom 02:59 PM 01-24-2016
ETA to above: I would only do this with my SA children. Who need minimal interaction/supervision from me. So I would need to 'approve' the playmate (some of them would not make the cut, lol) I would not do it for littles (under 5). If a neighbour or friend was interested in social interaction for her little one, then I would recommend a playgroup or visiting outside of daycare hours. I would feel like my attention might be pulled away from the dcks I am in charge of and that is where my focus needs to be.

During daycare hours, I am the daycare lady, meaning my focus is on my dcks. I am legally unlicensed but would not want another adult on the property, and around dcks, that hasn't been vetted/screened. I don't think my dcps would be comfortable with that, either. Generally speaking, I don't have any visitors present during daycare hours.

Jmho.
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midaycare 07:34 PM 01-24-2016
No adults. I let my DS have play dates here and there. He's 8. My ratios allow it from time to time, and we take advantage. All of DS's friends' parents know I can't chat during daycare hours, and that their child will have limited supervision. Certain rooms are off limits. Only boys I trust have been allowed over.
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Play Care 03:56 AM 01-25-2016
No, I didn't.
My State frowns upon it, and if anything were to happen to a dck while I had other people here I would probably get slammed.

On a personal note, when we had tried an (unlicensed) in home with older DD, one of the reasons we were not happy was because the provider always had her friend hanging out. Her friend also watched a child so they would get together for "play dates." In our case it was clear her attention was on her play date and not the kids.

I always saved play dates for weekends or days I was off. You'd be surprised how many preschool parents do drop off play dates, and that child counts in your ratio. Depending on how many kids you watch, it could make other parents uncomfortable that you're hosting play dates during your work day. It's just added liability, IMO.
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Blackcat31 06:57 AM 01-25-2016
No. I am working.

I wouldn't drop by a friend's place of employment with my kids (especially younger ones under SA) and just hang out all day.

I'd be offended and a little put off by a friend that thought it was okay for her/him to do.
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sharlan 07:02 AM 01-25-2016
Yes, I have in the past.

My friend's granddaughter is the same age as mine. We used to get together about once a month before the girls started school.

Parent's know that the kids are well cared for regardless of who is here.
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Controlled Chaos 09:47 AM 01-25-2016
I used to have lower numbers on Fridays, so my good friend would come by with her 3yo during outside time. I was within ratio and she was never alone with the other children per licensing rules. It was a nice treat, and she was respectful that it was my job. She actually trained as my sub later on. I wouldnt do it with someone I didnt know very well.
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Preschool/daycare teacher 11:12 AM 01-25-2016
I am assuming the only daycare kid you have during the day is the 2 yr old boy? If you only had one daycare child there at the time I wouldn't see anything wrong with it, but you might run it past the mom just in case. I have had my sister over here with her 2 & 3 yr old when I've had only one child here and the child I had here loved it, getting two playmates for a little bit. And the child's parents were completely fine with it. I run my childcare as a family atmosphere, so the kids just join me in my day. Whether that is my sister coming over, whether I'm doing household chores, or whether I need to run to the bank, they just join in. I only had one child today, so I buckled the dcg in and we went to the store and got groceries for the week. She was happy to get out and have a change of scenery and I was able to get some shopping done instead of having to wait until this evening. I have a 7 yr old dcg and she has been with me since she was a baby and her mom and I are friends now. I've even been on vacation with them. So I treat dcg as if she's mine. She goes everywhere with me. My parents, sister, and her little ones come down to visit me about once a week and when I have her dcg just joins right in with us, going out to eat, etc. She loves my parents, sister, and my sister's kids and they all love her. It's like an extended family for her.
But obviously I alter things depending on the parent and how comfortable they seem with that kind of thing.
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laundrymom 11:16 AM 01-25-2016
No. I am at work. I don't expect to go to a friend's work to hang out. Why should they ask that of me?
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Cat Herder 12:04 PM 01-25-2016
I understand how it may sound nice to have a friend come for a visit, this job can be so isolating.

The problem comes when she just wants to leave him with you for five minutes to run to the store/Dr. appt/drop hubby's lunch, what is the problem with that??? After all she has already brought him over before, he knows you, you're already keeping kids, she will only be fiiive minutes, geez.

Then she tells your other neighbor how selfish you are, you could not even help her for fiiive minutes, "who does she think she is anyway. I wonder if she is even running legally....." << Just one possible, but all too real, scenario we have heard about here before.

Don't start what you won't want to continue... that includes neighbor kids, extended family and your own kids friends.

This slippery slope ends badly. Trust me.
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mamamanda 02:36 PM 01-25-2016
My answer is both yes and no. haha When I had a large group it wasn't realistic to have a friend over. It threw off the schedule for everyone and create stress among the kids. My focus was on the kids anyway so a friend would likely have been bored. I did allow one of my son's friends from church to come over on occasion if I was under ratio, but they had to follow the schedule/rules of the dcks.

Now that my group is much smaller (my own 2 plus 2 dcks, one of which is my nephew) I sometimes invite someone over depending on who it is. My mom and aunt sometimes come by to see their grandchildren/nephews, but all parents are aware and comfortable with both of them. They actually are the two who sub for me when I have appointments so dcp know who they are. Also, I have a good friend who has worked as a nanny for many years who occasionally comes to visit and she is wonderful with the children. It is a nice change of pace for them. She and I sit in the floor and visit while they play independently around us, but we interact with them, talk to them, and just generally enjoy all of us being together as a group. It's not like we hang out and send the kids to go play. So....long story, but there's the gist of it.
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Blackcat31 04:16 PM 01-25-2016
For those of you that do allow friends to come by WITH their children (or children they are minding) it's important to remember to have a plan in place for situations where the visiting child injures or causes injury to one of your DCK's.

Would your clients be alright with that?
Would you liability insurance cover it?
Would your home owners cover it?
Would licensing be okay with it?

Etc etc.....

I don't know how each state/providence works in regards to this but it IS important to consider liability ANY TIME you are in charge of someone else's child(ren).
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lovemydaycare0912 06:26 PM 01-25-2016
No absolutely not. Like blackcat said, I am working. Also, I am at full capacity with all children age 2 and under. It would take away from my time with the kids.
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midaycare 07:35 PM 01-25-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
For those of you that do allow friends to come by WITH their children (or children they are minding) it's important to remember to have a plan in place for situations where the visiting child injures or causes injury to one of your DCK's.

Would your clients be alright with that?
Would you liability insurance cover it?
Would your home owners cover it?
Would licensing be okay with it?

Etc etc.....

I don't know how each state/providence works in regards to this but it IS important to consider liability ANY TIME you are in charge of someone else's child(ren).
I agree with all this. I didn't let DS have play dates before this year, and now it is only if I have an extra spot, because of licensing. It happens maybe once every two months. And I keep paperwork on all the friends who come over as play dates, because I know licensing would want it. I never thought about liability, but yeah, since they are registered with me, I'm sure that helps. The steps we go through for our kiddos!
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Heidi 07:02 AM 01-26-2016
Sorry, double post...
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Heidi 07:02 AM 01-26-2016
I think it really depends on your circumstances.

When my kids were younger, my sister did daycare down the street. We often went on walks together. Sometimes, another friend and dcp down the street would join us, and we'd have 24 kiddos and 3 adults. Due to our regs, we couldn't "land" at any of our dc's, but we could walk to the park or fire station.

If we had low numbers, sometimes we'd have play dates at each other's daycares. As long as we didn't go over 8 children together, we were within licensing regs.

Yes, everything is a risk. Being a dcp is a risk. I think you need to weigh out the possible cost vs. the benefit.

More recently, I have on occasion had people come here to join us for an activity. For example, a former dcp and her children would come over a few hours. I generally had only 5 or so enrolled here, and I had 8 "spots". We kept our routine, and the visitors always went home before nap.

Sometimes, DC is isolating, both for the provider AND the kids. Who wants to play with the same people, day in and day out, with no variation? I see some value in the occasional "play date" for everyone, as long as the regs are followed.
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kendallina 07:23 AM 01-26-2016
Depends. I run a preschool in the morning (6 kids), I would never have a friend over during that time. Last year in the afternoons, I only had two extended day kids, so I would occasionally have my best friend with her kiddos over for a playdate. And it was just as much for me as for my extended day kids, although they enjoyed the extra company too.
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craftymissbeth 11:49 AM 01-26-2016
Nope. First of all, my licensor required all of the children present more than a few minutes during daycare hours to have all of the required paperwork on file (health assessment, immunizations, etc.) whether they were receiving care or not. I'm guessing this is to prevent providers from being over ratio, but using the excuse that they were just having a play date.

Second, the liability of adding extra people into the mix was too nerve wracking. I was already worried about something happening to my dcks... I didn't want to worry about something happening to dcks because of guests or whatever other negative scenario that could have played out.
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crazydaycarelady 12:16 PM 01-26-2016
Yes, I have done this and had no problems.
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