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sahdaycaremom 08:27 AM 12-14-2010
I am needing some advice about my sibling group older sibling. I know dcm will be asking me to watch her older child during christmas break. Problem is all my dck's are under 5. This boy is 10. My son is the same age but will be gone with grandparents over christmas break. (the really don't get along anyways) I have had this child a handful of times in the past and has been a disaster. He is a hard child to entertain, is bored easily, complains constantly, whines about EVERYTHING, and when here his younger siblings act up badly. I don't have a program but do some preschool activies, crafts, playdoh, etc. How to I go about telling dcm that I have nothing to offer a 10 yr old child without sounding rude? I can't let this child watch tv the whole time he is here, and he never wants to be involved in any activities I am doing with the other kids. I am considering putting in my new contract that I only accept children up to age 6. Any ideas or suggestions on what to say to dcm when she asks me??? Thanks in advance
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DCMomOf3 08:32 AM 12-14-2010
I wouldn't take him. I would just say that you don't feel comfortable spreading yourself that thin and that the younger kids in your care need all of your attention and since your son won't be home, it's in your and her sons' best interests that he goes elsewhere. And if you know of another provider that may take him, have a name and number prepared for that converstation so you can hand it to her right away.
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Blackcat31 08:33 AM 12-14-2010
Originally Posted by sahdaycaremom:
I am needing some advice about my sibling group older sibling. I know dcm will be asking me to watch her older child during christmas break. Problem is all my dck's are under 5. This boy is 10. My son is the same age but will be gone with grandparents over christmas break. (the really don't get along anyways) I have had this child a handful of times in the past and has been a disaster. He is a hard child to entertain, is bored easily, complains constantly, whines about EVERYTHING, and when here his younger siblings act up badly. I don't have a program but do some preschool activies, crafts, playdoh, etc. How to I go about telling dcm that I have nothing to offer a 10 yr old child without sounding rude? I can't let this child watch tv the whole time he is here, and he never wants to be involved in any activities I am doing with the other kids. I am considering putting in my new contract that I only accept children up to age 6. Any ideas or suggestions on what to say to dcm when she asks me??? Thanks in advance
I have this exact same situation! SA boy is a pain in the rump and is worse than any colicky infant in regards to amount of attention or efftect he has on others. I finally got up enough nerve to tell his mom that I am just not equipped to take a child his age and I did change my contract to take kids through Kindergarten age only. Honestly...BEST THING I EVER DID!!! Be honest and tell her that there will be nothing for him to do and you just can't accommodate him....or tell her you only have room for x amount of SA'ers during break and he is oldest so he gets bumped... Good luck. Personally, I don't care for that age....the one where they are too big for family childcare but too young to stay home alone yet.
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MyAngels 08:35 AM 12-14-2010
When I don't want to take an older child I simply tell the parents that my daycare is geared to the under 5 set, and it upsets our entire balance when we have older children here. I then recommend several programs that our community has that are tailored to the school age children for their school breaks.

I do have one SA who is 9 (a former full timer from infancy here) that comes every now and again, but he's a really good sport about the littles, so I don't mind when he's here.
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DanceMom 08:36 AM 12-14-2010
I had this same problem and over the years I have finally blamed it on the child being WAY TO BORED here - I've told the mom that I just do not have activities for her daughter ( she is 9 ) and she gets all the younger kids riled up all day because she is so bored...My program/toys/books/movies etc are only geared for kids 5 and under.... Ive also told the mom ( which is true ) that the younger kids have complained that she is too rough with them
( picking them up, tickling them etc ) and it just isnt a good fit - that daughter needs to be around kids her own age.

The mom now knows that I am the LAST LAST LAST resort in watching her. I will do it, but only for a day - MAX two days...other than that she works harder now to find someone else.

School agers require SO much more of my time, attention etc. Its insane that she requires more time than my newborn !!!! She drives me nuts
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marniewon 08:37 AM 12-14-2010
Are you close to full? So you don't have room for him? You could use that as an excuse. Or, when she asks, you could just say "I'm sorry, I can't take him over break this time". That way you don't have to explain anything at all. If she pushes, just tell her that you have nothing to offer him, and the last few times he was there he was miserable with nothing to do and no one his age to play with.
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boysx5 10:44 AM 12-14-2010
I'm in the same boat I have a sibling of a two year old I have who is six and she drives me nuts so far the mom hasn't asked me but I know its coming I will have an opening but it will be four long days if I do take her. I have decided that this summer I will no longer watch school agers they are more work than 20 infants
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laundrymom 10:48 AM 12-14-2010
I agree wholeheartedly. Especially since I am now being blamed for the risk of losing custody for my remaining school aged mom,.. Im done. Its not worth the $$. I can tell you that when I told my own kids that sa boy wouldnt be here this break they were elated. and when I told them not this coming summer they were so happy. They dont hate him, its not like that,.. but he is always here,.. and they dont get special time like when hes not.

Originally Posted by boysx5:
I'm in the same boat I have a sibling of a two year old I have who is six and she drives me nuts so far the mom hasn't asked me but I know its coming I will have an opening but it will be four long days if I do take her. I have decided that this summer I will no longer watch school agers they are more work than 20 infants

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Live and Learn 01:41 PM 12-14-2010
I run with the under four crowd!
I have a flock of my OWN sa!
No way Jose! Not worth the money...uh uh no way!!
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countrymom 07:09 AM 12-15-2010
Originally Posted by sahdaycaremom:
I am needing some advice about my sibling group older sibling. I know dcm will be asking me to watch her older child during christmas break. Problem is all my dck's are under 5. This boy is 10. My son is the same age but will be gone with grandparents over christmas break. (the really don't get along anyways) I have had this child a handful of times in the past and has been a disaster. He is a hard child to entertain, is bored easily, complains constantly, whines about EVERYTHING, and when here his younger siblings act up badly. I don't have a program but do some preschool activies, crafts, playdoh, etc. How to I go about telling dcm that I have nothing to offer a 10 yr old child without sounding rude? I can't let this child watch tv the whole time he is here, and he never wants to be involved in any activities I am doing with the other kids. I am considering putting in my new contract that I only accept children up to age 6. Any ideas or suggestions on what to say to dcm when she asks me??? Thanks in advance

I could have written this exact same post this summer. It was so awful with this 10 yr old it wasn't even funny, so as of september I don't take children that old, they can stay home or go to camp. Just tell mom that it doesn't work having the older child here among the little ones and that your own ds won't even be here. (my ds and my own children couldn't even stand the 10 yr old) she will have to find alternate care for him.
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Unregistered 10:24 AM 12-15-2010
This is the reason why I only take ages 6 weeks till school age (4-5 YEARS OLD) no one older then 5 allowed here no way I didnt like when I had SA they disrupted my whole rountine with my little ones.
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sahdaycaremom 12:10 PM 12-15-2010
Thank you for all the advice. I feel so much better about telling dcm that I won't be able to take the oldest.
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Tags:christmas break, siblings
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