Bad Boy

[countrymom]

so the kids are playing outside my ds (he's 8) dcb (he's 10) and dcb (he's 6 today) I just looked to see what they were doing and they were playing on wooden jungle gym. Next thing I know ds comes in crying that dcb(6yr old) threw a truck at ds in the back. This is a big tonka truck style truck. I'm so mad right now, and after yelling at him for doing it, dcb is looking at me like I'm from outer space. I even asked him why he did it, he was like shrugging his shoulders. Now ds has a huge mark on his back. Now how should i punish him, what he did was wrong, right now he's sitting at the table and he's not allowed to play with anyone. Ds has a huge scratch and the area is red and very bruised.

[Christian Mother]

Poor guy. Did dcb (6yrs) at least seem sorry? Did he express in anyway his wrong doing? Have a talk with his parent(s) when he's picked up today about his behavior. You'll need to discuss with your son exactly what they where doing and why he got hit specially if dcb isn't speaking up. Chances are when dcb gets home he'll have a completely diff. story and you'll hear about it the following day from the parent. Hope your day goes better!!

[Zoe]

Wow. A Tonka truck?!? Wow. I'd be so furious. I agree with pp in that the dcb may have a nice little story all prepared for mom when he gets home so keep that line of communication open with the parents at pick-up!

I think separating him from the group at this point is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter what your son did (if anything) to provoke getting hit. Violence is NOT the answer.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Zoe

Wow. A Tonka truck?!? Wow. I'd be so furious. I agree with pp in that the dcb may have a nice little story all prepared for mom when he gets home so keep that line of communication open with the parents at pick-up!

I think separating him from the group at this point is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter what your son did (if anything) to provoke getting hit. Violence is NOT the answer.

ditto agree with zoe!! I would talk about it the second DCP comes to pick up and let them know your version of what happened right away..
I would tell the exactly what ZOE said... regardless of why XX hit my son with the truck, we don't allow any form of violence here...

[countrymom]

so when dad came he still wouldn't say anything, so the dad asked my ds what happened and my ds said they asked dcb to stop throwing the balls at them because they were on the swing and he wouldn't so they kept asking him to stop but at this point he was throwing sticks at him, the more they told him to stop the more mad he got, so he got the truck which is in the sand pit and throw it at my ds, but my ds was on the swing and was hit from behind so he could have gotten injured even more by falling off the swing. He wasn't sorry, he wouldn't even say anything to his dad what happened, I even gave him the chance to explain to his dad but he wanted to leave. And other dcb was with my ds (and he's 10) so they had the same story. Next week he's off because they are on vacation so I don't have to deal with him.

This whole story seems odd. Something went on between them and since you weren't there to see it, you may never know. In my opinion, I'd let it go.

[Country Kids]

This is why I totally believe in always being where the children are. To many things can happen when you are not right there with them. It also makes me nervous because in our regulations we are to be within sight or sound but are to know what each child is doing. So in a case like this the parent could complain, I could say I was within sight/sound but the parent could come back with she didn't know what each child was doing. The way the regulations are written make it very hard at times!

[DBug]

Originally Posted by Country Kids

This is why I totally believe in always being where the children are. To many things can happen when you are not right there with them. It also makes me nervous because in our regulations we are to be within sight or sound but are to know what each child is doing. So in a case like this the parent could complain, I could say I was within sight/sound but the parent could come back with she didn't know what each child was doing. The way the regulations are written make it very hard at times!

I have to agree -- the parent could easily ask why you didn't have an eye on them and why you couldn't hear them. If ds & dcb were asking the other dcb to stop, you should have been able to hear their conversation, and been able to stop things before they got out of hand. I don't know, I just think the parent might question how closely supervised they were.

I have boys (9yo & 11yo) that often have friends over to play outside of daycare hours. And even though they're old enough to know better, I still keep a pretty good eye & ear on them. There are too many boys who will just take things to the extreme -- which is fine when they're on their parents' watch, but not when they're on mine! And that's outside of work hours. If I'm being paid to watch somebody's child, I always make sure I know exactly what's going on when. Because really, if a parent did decide to sue or even just talk badly around town about me, it could really hurt my business and my family's finances .

[youretooloud]

At this point, I would drop it. Wait til he comes back from vacation, and have a brand new, fresh start. Don't even bring it up again.

If he continues to make bad choices, he'd probably lose the privilege of being outside alone. If he can show you that he's going to play without seriously injuring another kid, he can play out there. Being out with the big kids is a privilege... not a right.

Don't forget... there's always two sides to every story. I highly doubt that he was throwing things for no reason at all. He may have felt left out, or wanted that swing first, but one of the boys took it... there are many reasons a six year old would get mad and do something in retaliation. He just kept raising his game from balls, to sticks, to trucks. Tell the older kids, that by the time he was throwing sticks, it was time for one of them to come in and tell you. They can't tattle on everything, but sticks is a good reason to come tell.

[rhymia1]

Originally Posted by Country Kids

This is why I totally believe in always being where the children are. To many things can happen when you are not right there with them. It also makes me nervous because in our regulations we are to be within sight or sound but are to know what each child is doing. So in a case like this the parent could complain, I could say I was within sight/sound but the parent could come back with she didn't know what each child was doing. The way the regulations are written make it very hard at times!

I totally agree.

If I'm being paid to watch somebody's child, I always make sure I know exactly what's going on when. Because really, if a parent did decide to sue or even just talk badly around town about me, it could really hurt my business and my family's finances

And legally speaking, when you are getting paid to watch someone else's children the standard of care is higher than when you are just with your kids. You might find you wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on if a DCK gets hurt and the parent sues.

I agree with letting it go and having a fresh start next week when they come back from vacation. Tomorrow is another day and all