I was told to Shut up and then called an a$$hole. All within the first hour of me opening up and by a 6 year old child.

Here's the thing. The child that did this is autistic. I do realize that his impulse control isn't up to where other children his age would be, but still this really got me mad!

For those with experience in autistic children, what is the appropriate way to handle these impulses? I got down to his level and looked at him and explained those words are not acceptable. I told him he needed to be separated from the other children and have a time to relax and think about what was appropriate. He said no and refused to go. After a warning I picked him up and carried him to the spot and told him he would now need to sit longer. Within 5 minutes he was calm, smiling and talking to me So I am wondering, did he even comprehend what I said to him or what happened?

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I think probably the best thing to do is talk to the parents about it and find out what their techniques are for handling him and his behaviors. What you did sounds like it worked, though, so that's good--but the parents might have even more insight and advice for you.

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This is a hard one not knowing exactly how this boys autism is affecting him. I have a son who is autistic and poor impulse control is one of our biggest challenges. At the age of 6 telling him what not to do may have of triggered bigger impulses to do it.... not because he wanted to be naughty or test, but because he truly couldn't stop his impulses.

I don't want to say this child shouldn't be disciplined, but rather, he needs to be taught. I think you handled it okay. Not sure if he comprehended it, again not knowing how is autism affects him.

Good luck.

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His parents advice was to offer him a reward if he starts behaving better in the next few minutes. I don't agree with that. Any smart child can figure out "Hmmm be nautty and I'll get rewarded right after."

I reward my children but for going above and beyond what is expected. I don't reward for expected behaviors. For instance I wont give a reward for picking up toys they played with. But... I will give a reward for picking up or assisting a babies/todlers mess just to be nice.

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This has nothing to do with him being smart and wanting a reward. Children with autism learn and think differently... they need to also be taught differently. He isn't misbhehaving for the reward.

Rewards for children with autism are positive reinforcements... they learn much better when they are positively reinforced versus negative reinforcement. He isn't a typical child and 'expected' behaviors need to be adjusted for him. I am not saying that inappropriate behavior needs to be accepted, but instead it needs to be viewed and dealt with differently than you would with a typical child.

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How would you explain that to another child though? As they witness this child misbehave and then get rewarded? I can see this trickling on to the others. Do you just tell them honestly that this child isn't able to think and react to things the way you do so there are different expectations? I have children anywhere from 2 up to 8 years old.

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They aren't saying reward him for his bad behaviors, reinforce the appropriate ones more often... and a reward can be as simple as a 'good job you....' or a high five etc. Don't reward the misbehavior but rather teach with the bad behavior and reinforce the good behavior.

As far as telling the other children.... you should talk to his parents. I was okay for other kids to know that my son thinks differently... this helped instill compassion from other children and often times will get the other kids to help reinforce the postive behaviors.... it also helps greatly with the acceptance factor. You could tell the other kids, the ones that understand that he isn't trying to be naughty, just sometimes he can't stop himself and give them ideas on how they can help.

Again... I don't know how this child functions or where he sits on the autism spectrum... some kids appear higher functioning then they really are and this can cause conflict for everyone.

That behavior isn't acceptable, and yes, you can give a time out for it, but he will need more than that to change the behavior. Does his swear a lot? Is it always within the right context...not saying swearing is in the right context , but rather is he saying it to you when he is angry about something or is he just blurting out profanities??

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Ok. I see thanks for clarifying!

I don't know where he fits on the spectrum. He is in a 4 to 1 class. (1 teacher, 4 children). So I am thinking a bit more severe? He also has Sensory Processing Disorder which I know is on the spectrum.

As far as profanity he told me "No" I said we don't say No here. He then said "shut up" I said "X we do not use those words here or talk to people that way and I need you to stop" He then looked at me and said "a$$hole" That is the point where I asked him to come sit in time out so that the other children wouldn't be subjected to the words.

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"Timeout" doesn't have to be a bad thing, or a punishment. He can sit alone at the counter and work on something that will keep him quiet for a while.

I've had autistic children years ago, and more kids are being diagnosed than ever before... mostly because of "the spectrum". Kids who would be diagnosed with "Pervasive developmental disorder" are now on the spectrum instead.

Which means each kid is very, very different from the next. You have to find out what works for him, and the next autistic child you meet might be the complete opposite.

So, for him, he might sit for an hour doing Tangram puzzles, or setting up guys, the next child might not find that interesting at all. I had one child who was severely autistic, and the tangrams would have become obsessive for him. He could start that, but not stop it. When he was forced to stop, he'd have a meltdown that lasted an hour.

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I hope the parents give you more direction. Sounds like he is probably moderate to severe.

Something else that might help you a lot is using less language with him. Too much language might be hard for him to process. Try to use as few words as possible. Do you know if they use a picture system with him at home or at school??

Sensory issues can be a whole other challenge... with my son we did an inservice for his class and his staff at school a few years back... we had them do all sorts of things to help them learn what it is like to be in my sons body... like trying to jump rope with yarn.... writing with the opposite hand... copying text while looking through googles that have vaseline smeared on them... sitting on pointing hard objects.... wearing head phones that are repeating numbers, words etc while trying to concentrate on math problems... everyone had a lot of fun with all the experiments and came away with a much better understanding of what my son and other kids in his school deal with on a constant basis because of their autism and sensory processing issues.....

I'm rambling. Sorry. Just trying to help.

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Do you know if he's in any type of therapy? If he is, maybe you can ask the parents if you can come with them to therapy, or have a couple appointments at your house, or however it works--so YOU can ask the therapist some questions and learn directly from him/her some techniques.

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They don't use a picture system and they don't do outside therapy for him.

Thanks for all the suggestions. He is very different than the other autistic boy I had. That boy just talks to himself and repeats himself a lot. It's only his third day so I will keep working with him and the family and hopfully come to a happy medium!

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