I have posted about the DCF SEVERAL times and they just don't get it

This was the DCF that brought their current DCP with them to my interview. ALL of the red flags were there, but I decided to try anyways.

The main problem is they just don't get it and I have tried to help them understand, but I keep running into a brick wall.

Some of the issues:

Late pick-ups (late fees don't seem to help. I also tell this DCF to pick up 15 minutes sooner than my other DCF's and they are STILL late)
Late payments
No contracted times (so they come and go when they please between 7:45-4:30 and after. I was told I would seldom have the child after 3:45 everyday and they are always late- even after I close)

So yesterday was my 1st day back from Christmas break. I close everyday at 4:30. My kids need to be places between 4:30 & 5. So 4:35 rolls around DCK still here. I text DCM and ask how far away she is because I need to get over to the school, her response:

DCM- OH S***! Coming!
she then texts me and says charge me a late fee I got caught up at work.

THIS WAS MY FIRST DAY BACK!!!!

I really wanted to tell her that I am just not sure how much more of this I can take.

Here's the deal: mid February I will have a client returning from maternity leave. I will have to term one child due to numbers. I will be terming this child. I was going to change my contract/policy and add even stricter (is that a word lol) penalties for violations, but I decided to tough it out bc I will be letting this family go soon.

How would you handle this? Would you give notice now and be done? Would you wait it out? I am waiting on a return date for my other family and then issuing a term letter.

Another thing is the other DCK's don't like this DCK. I always thought it is bc DCK is a little younger, but now I am wondering if it is a sign that I should cut my losses and be done.

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Personally I think it is best to term as soon as you know that things are just not working out.

Let them go, let your stress go and let them go find care that better suits their needs.

Nothing wrong with simply saying things aren't working out.

I just think if you tough it out, it isn't really fair to you, them or the kids...kwim?

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Thank you! Do I keep my term letter short and sweet?

Dear DCM,

I will be down-sizing my child care business and effective 1/18/2013 I will no longer be able to care for your child. Below is the number for the local child care referral agency.

Please also note that during the notice period policies and contract terms are still active, violation will be means of immediate termination.


Thank you
Provider

Or something along those lines.

I KNOW THIS DCM WILL QUESTION WHY AND SAY SHE WILL TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER- so how do you avoid this? I can see myself now ok I will try........

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I guess it would depend on my financial situation at that time. If I needed the money I'd tough it out, if I didn't I'd say see ya!

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Yep, short and sweet always seems to work best. If DCM questions anything, just keep saying, it was a business decision and nothing personal. (even if it is)

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I would term now. And honestly, you probably won't have to get tough with newer clients so long as you stress from the get go that you don't allow late pick ups and will be charging your hefty late fee. Most "normal" parents do not want to pay those fees. Your current clients are not normal

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kids feed into how we are feeling.... if you don't like a parent or are getting stressed by a child's parent, the others feel it. You may be more stressed once the door opens and this child and family walks in. The kids see it and therefore they know that this child is the cause of your unhappiness.....


If I could see light at the end of the tunnel, I would without a doubt let them go as soon as possible. You deserve to be happy..

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THANK YOU ALL!!

I know what needs to be done and honestly my new years resolution was fix issues and do what is best for me, my program, and my family.

I know this IS a business decision, but why oh why do I feel awful even thinking about having to terminate services?

Also what do you say when you hand them the termination letter? Do you just put it in the DCK's bag?

I've never "termed" with notice. I know this sounds horrible, but I typically just try to get the family to leave on their own.

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I know you have decided to term (possibly) but have you tired the 3 strikes you are out - if you decide to allow them to stay I would tell DCM very sternly that becasue they have been late on numerous ocassions that they now only have 1 more chance to be on time, one more oops & they are out! If you do decide to follow through with the term (& I think you should) I would keep it simple like your letter & if parent presses for info just say you didn't think you could provide the care they needed (ie - late pickup, late payment etc - you don't tell them that of course!!) Good luck!!

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I would talk to the daycare family in person and if I don't think that i could do that, I would call them over the phone.

You don't need to get to detailed about it, but just let them know that you just don't think that they are a good fit for your program.

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The BEST advice I got from a seasoned provider was that this doesn't have to be a BIG talk. I have a form term letter that I print out and fill out the appropriate box and sign. Then when the parent picks up I let them know (as they are walking out the door) that as of X date I will no longer be able to provide child care for them and have given them the number of the child care resource office with their daily note. Chances are they already know *why* they are being let go, but if they do ask a simple answer is best.

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have you talked to the family about this being a problem? I also do something like the 3 strikes your out, this way they know that if they don't change, they will be out. This way they just don't wake up one day to a term letter not knowing why.......................

I normally make a paper trail of it..

first time it happens, I will talk to them about it in person and let them know that I will let it slide this time, but not the next.

If it happens again, I will then document it and have them sign it... Make sure I follow through and stand firm to my policies......

Then if they do it again, see ya later.....

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It's funny that some of you are asking about 3 strikes and your out bc my dh just said something along those lines. It was more like if this happens one more time then termination.

I have talked to them about this AND reminded them that when we met they said they would RARELY need me past 3:45.

I have also explained why I require payment when I do and how important it is to pay on time.

I have also charged them late fees.

So if I would go the 3 strikes and your out- what do I do when the 1st of February comes and I need to terminate services anyway bc of my client returning from maternity leave?

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I would term now....If you have already told them several times that their are issues, then they should know that they are skating on thin ice.....

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The three strikes and you're out concept is a smart way to go. The "strikes" don't necessarily have to be written out as a warning to parents or even written down. They can be mental notes to yourself too.

As long as you know that you tried your best and were still unsuccessful at getting a family to see the light. kwim?

As far as actually having to tell them they are termed goes, I usually write up a term letter. Put it in a sealed envelope. I will them hand it to the parent upon pick up. (MOST parents already know it's coming)

I will say something along the lines of "This is my written notice of termination. Please read at your convenience. Call me later after hours if you wish to discuss this as I cannot give you my undivided attention at the moment. Thank you" (If there is another parent standing within ear shot, I will just say to read it later and call me with questions).

That lets them know what it is you are giving them but also lets them know you are not about to get into a huge conversation about details on the spot or in front of other parents picking up or DCK's that are present.

I prefer dicsussing what ever things they want to discuss on the phone. I feel much more professional and much more able to stand firm on my decision.

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What would be the termination guideline with the 3 strikes and your out?

Immediate termination

2 week notice of termination

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Since I don't actually use a written form of the three strikes rule, I just simply handle it like this:

First offense....I verbally remind parent of rule. Ask that it not happen again.
Second offense...I give parent a copy of my contract with the rule (offense) highlighted and again ask that they follow my policies
Third offense....I would term them. At this point, I just figure, that they have had ample opportunity to fix the issue or figure out a solution and if they haven't, they probably aren't going to so it's just time to go our separate ways.

Hope that makes sense. Others may do the 3 strikes rules in a much more documented or formal manner but I am pretty verbal so I don't always put everything in writing when something needs to be addressed.

I do keep written documentation for my own purposes but not so much that I give parents, notes, letters, e-mails, texts, reminders, copies of notes, etc etc etc... when I feel there are issues. I just say something to them and keep track of whether I feel it is a problem or not in my head.

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If you do the three strikes program what happens if they decide to straighten up and fly right? Aren't you planning on terming in February anyway?

I'd just do it now and get it over with. Any guilt or bad feelings you have will be lifted once it's done .

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I am not sure why you are feeling bad about doing this? If you have to term, then just do what everyone has stated and write a letter to them letting them know that you are terming your contract with them.

Don't feel bad that a parent cannot follow your rules.... Trust me when I tell you that I think that we have all been in your shoes before and it's never fun.

It is all about how you approach it. Just stay simple and professional and it will all go well.

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What about a formal termination notice now in preparation of February with either an addition which includes a warning or a separate notice with the written warning?

I would at least have something in writing for your records and have them sign something that says they got it and understand or something. Something like this could work possibly:

Dear DCM,

Due to ratio concerns I shall be downsizing my child care business and effective 2/1/2013 [or whatever Friday before the new infant starts] I will no longer be able to care for your child [name of child]. Below is the number for the local child care referral agency.

Please also note that during the notice period policies and contract terms are still active. As you and I have already discussed there have been consistent issues with late payments and picking up your child past your contracted time which is against our agreement. If between now and the last day of this termination period any policies are broken our agreement will be terminated effective immediately. Please ensure that you pay promptly, pick your child up on time and follow all policies.


Thank you
Provider

Or something like that. That is of course only if you are willing to give them one last shot to follow your policies. If they do they can stay until the term date and if they don't you can immediately give them their walking papers. Maybe they'll find alternate childcare sooner and give you a 2 week notice or maybe out of the goodness of your heart (and for your own sanity) you will allow them to terminate the agreement immediately if that's what they prefer .

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dont do three strikes and your out because you are for sure terming in Feb, even if they turn into the perfect family, correct? I would just term now with two weeks notice and not drag it out till Feb either.

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Sounds to me like dcf has had plenty of chances, especially if mom is to the point of telling you to just charge her a late fee. Personally, if you can financially swing it, term now.

I would be done! I would not put up with that disrespect for one more minute, unless I HAD to, especially at the cost of your family time. It's intentional.

Write up a note and give it to her tomorrow at pick up. (which will probably be late. )

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Termination letter is typed up.

Today DCK was last one picked up (I had a 4p pick up today) and DCD came in at 4 with totally different clothes on. I am not stupid- he had been home and probably since 2ish this afternoon. Oh well at least he was here at 4.

THEN I found out this evening that DCD has changed jobs and now works an hour away. I heard it from a good source and read it. Do you think they were going to tell me? It would have been nice to know.

So thank you all again. Termination letter is typed up....... just hope I don't chicken out.

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so last night I said a prayer and asked for a sign to let me know I am doing the right thing.

So this morning DCM drops of DCK and says your check is in the bag (which is normal).

I get out the check and she has SHORTED ME MY HOLIDAY PAY for this week!!! I don't think a sign gets any bigger than this.

So can someone explain to me why we give 2 week notice?? I do have in my contract I can term at will. I am so ready.

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I think it's just to be nice and give a little notice. But you can term right away. I have a no pay no stay policy. She's would've had to take her child and leave

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I give a two week notice out of courtesy for the parents to find alternative care. However I also have it in my policy handbook that I have the right to terminate immediately and give examples of what would constitute an immediate termination. Blatant disrespect is on of those examples.

I've always given notice but that's only because the people I was terminating were usually good clients, it just was for other reasons (not providing 2nd shift services anymore). With your case, I wouldn't feel badly for one second if I terminated immediately. I agree with the other PP who say that you can give notice but the second they step out of line, they're gone that day. Gives you the power instead of them. Won't that be great?!

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I would not accept child into care b/c they are not up to date on payment

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Sorry to be such a pain.....

I really don't care if they don't return when I give them their notice. The 2 weeks of pay would be nice but my family would be ok without it. That said-
would you add to the term letter something along the lines of:

Also, if you find alternate care before the end of the 2 weeks notice, I will honor that and only charge you a daily rate for the days used.

Please tell me if you don't recommend doing this!! Thanks

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I would be texting asking for the shorted funds

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Term.
Give them 2 weeks notice and let them know that during that time no rules are to be broken or termination will be on the spot.

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I would let dcm know care will not be given until payment is up to date. I think if u give her the above letter she will not come back and you will lose what u should have gotten already.

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Forget it! Term on the spot! So rude!

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I would term now.....if you don't need the money, then I would tell the DCM, sorry, but our relationship cannot continue. I would do it now. I would call her at nap time or email her and let her know that today is childs last day.

It will be a rough day today, but it will be over before you know it and this issue will be a thing of the past.......

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OMG!!! DCM came in and paid me the rest of her fee- it should've been $50. She paid me $40!!!!!! WTH!!!

I can't figure out how she calculated this but I didn't say anything, only because I am terming care w/out notice.

I am composing a text right now (this is our main form of communication).

I debated whether or not to give notice. I wanted to see what happened at pick-up (if she was late, the rest of my payment, etc.)

I feel horrible not giving notice, but I am so upset/frustrated that I feel it has to be this way.

Am I wrong- for sending her a text to let her know that I can no longer care for DCK and letting her know that a formal letter is in the mail?

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Noooo text.... I would call her and talk to her..

I think a text is very unprofessional..

If this were me, I would do it now, so that it does not ruin my weekend and I stew over it a million times by monday..

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dont be afraid......the worst thing that will come of this is that she gets mad and leaves now.....BUt that is what you want, so don't be afraid to get what you want....

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It is done. DCM was not happy. I talked to her Friday evening and just told her I was terming our contract.

She said she needed to get DCK's things and the money she overpaid me. I told her I was not aware she over paid and told her that per our contract she actually underpaid for the week.

I decided to not fight over the little bit of money and give it back, but I wanted her to know that our contract stated otherwise.

I didn't give her notice. I FEEL HORRIBLE!!!! I think its best. I honestly think that with this family that final week or two would have been pure h....

Is it normal to feel bad like this? I keep asking myself would they have used the 1-2 week notice if I would've offered it?

Do you think I will be able to let it go and move on once they get DCK's things?

Should I sit her down and tell her why? She should already know, but they are sorta "self-centered"

Well thanks again for all your help.

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take a deep breath and let this family go. Write up one final statement saying that you both agree that no further money is owed to you on her part or vice versa (so she cant come back later and try and get more refunded) and that she has received all of her child's personal belongings and that there are no further issues to be resolved regarding childcare. Have her sign and date. Do not offer any further explanation (because a lot of time that turns into apologies, which you dont owe her). Get her these things and get her out the door. If she asks about term, just say it wasnt the right fit.

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