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NoMoreJuice! 06:26 AM 03-12-2014
I have absolutely had it with all the illness around here. All of my sick kids are getting sick, and I've been sending them home left and right.

There's one particular child I would like some expert advice on...she is 3, and I've had her for almost a year. She's been getting a runny (gushing) nose off and on since fall. It can go for weeks at a time, and this time it's been over 3 weeks!! When it started this time, she had a bad cough with it, so I sent her home on a Thursday and let her mom know she was excluded Friday. Her mom showed up Friday morning with a letter from the Dr. saying it was just allergies, and she was not contagious. So I let her stay...stupid me.

The following Monday morning three of my other kids were sick and got sent home. I told this to the mom of the girl in question and asked if perhaps the doctor was wrong, and she brushed it off as a coincidence. Since then, all the kids have been passing it back and forth and dcg hasn't stopped being sick for even one day.

I'm SO TIRED of wiping wiping wiping all day long. Does anyone have experience with this and think it really does sound like allergies? I'm exhausted, and I'm about to term but I think this is a stupid reason. Can I demand the mom take her to a different doctor? Advice, pretty please!! Thank you guys!
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NeedaVaca 06:33 AM 03-12-2014
Maybe wiping noses seems like a silly reason but you telling her she is excluded on Friday and then her showing up anyway? THAT is not a silly reason! I would have been furious...
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Shell 06:42 AM 03-12-2014
Ugh! I have this child, too. The doctor always said, "allergies", and then everyone got sick. Could be a coincidence? It drives me insane, and each time dcm is told about one of dcg's millions of runny noses, coughs, temper tantrums, not napping, pulling on ears, etc. she gives some excuse about allergies, and even has specific ones picked out, "pollen" or whatever is going around at the time. When I suggested putting her on meds since it is so frequent, they give the whole, well, "we don't like to medicate unnecessarily".
This happened for a good year and a half, and now I am convinced it's not allergies since it happens regardless of the season, and dcg is sick maybe 1-2 a month, and infects everyone!
I sometimes think doctors can only go by what they are told by the parents, and they are not always truthful, so they do their best with the info they have.
For example, the same dcg had major BM issues, like going every single time she ate. I expressed concerns about her not putting on weight, but was told time and time again that doctor wasn't concerned. Well, finally, dcg was diagnosed with failure to thrive. I just wish they had told the doctor everything up front, but it took months for them to diagnose. She's fine now, but very tiny. End rant

Edit to add, you asked for advice, and I am rambling. If I could do it over again, I would set really strict boundaries even though her symptoms were not technically excludable. If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else and get everyone sick!
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Cat Herder 06:46 AM 03-12-2014
Instead of involving yet another doctor, or letting Mom make decisions for you, try enforcing your own illness policy.

Stand up, say no, mean it and things will turn around.

A doctors note does not mean you have to take a kid. We exclude for symptoms that are too difficult to manage in group care, not a diagnosis of whether or not it has already been spread around the class.

Doctors will say they can come back if the illness does not fit into the CDC Exclusion policy. They will send mild ill back to care. YOU get to decide what you can and cannot manage while caring for other kids. Once you decide, YOU need to enforce it, if not the blame falls to you and you alone..
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Blackcat31 06:43 AM 03-12-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I have absolutely had it with all the illness around here. All of my sick kids are getting sick, and I've been sending them home left and right.

There's one particular child I would like some expert advice on...she is 3, and I've had her for almost a year. She's been getting a runny (gushing) nose off and on since fall. It can go for weeks at a time, and this time it's been over 3 weeks!! When it started this time, she had a bad cough with it, so I sent her home on a Thursday and let her mom know she was excluded Friday. Her mom showed up Friday morning with a letter from the Dr. saying it was just allergies, and she was not contagious. So I let her stay...stupid me.

The following Monday morning three of my other kids were sick and got sent home. I told this to the mom of the girl in question and asked if perhaps the doctor was wrong, and she brushed it off as a coincidence. Since then, all the kids have been passing it back and forth and dcg hasn't stopped being sick for even one day.

I'm SO TIRED of wiping wiping wiping all day long. Does anyone have experience with this and think it really does sound like allergies? I'm exhausted, and I'm about to term but I think this is a stupid reason. Can I demand the mom take her to a different doctor? Advice, pretty please!! Thank you guys!
seriously?!?

No way would I have allowed that.

The doctor does NOT get to decide who is or isn't excluded from care.

I have zero issues excluding a child who is more work than I am able to manage. ie severe runny nose etc.. (even if it's caused by allergies)
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Blackcat31 06:47 AM 03-12-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:

I'm about to term but I think this is a stupid reason. Can I demand the mom take her to a different doctor? Advice, pretty please!! Thank you guys!
Failure to follow polies IS reason enough to term.

If you are close to terming anyways, I would absolutely use that reason and term her immediately.

That was a pretty ballsy move in my opinion. Unless she truly thought that her child was not sick and was blindly following directions.

I guess only you know what kind of parent she is...does she routinely push your policies or is she a good parent just behaving badly?
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NoMoreJuice! 06:57 AM 03-12-2014
She's actually a pretty decent mom, but I cut her a break in payment because I desperately needed kids when she started and she was a single mom in college and I don't take state assistance.

She is also a big fan of feeding her daughter chocolate donuts with chocolate milk in the morning. Drives me nuts. I told her we eat a NUTRITIOUS breakfast (emphasis on the fact that I don't think chocolate qualifies as such) and she has cut back on that.

She also gets crabby when we don't get outside (hello...all my kids, including her's are sick and I will not take them out in the cold!)

I guess I am answering my own question here. Thanks for working through that with me!
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Tags:24/48, backbone, enforcing policies - consistency, exclusion, exclusions, provider accountability
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